Falling Away
by KeedaxEmry
Summary: Roxas is perfectly happy, as long as his parents aren't fighting. But when he is forced to move, his life takes an unexpected turn. All he knows is that his new friend, Axel, is the only good thing about this place...
1. Unknown

A/N: Axel won't come in until later...so just keep your excitement under control for the time being, k? :)

Rated T for language mostly. Some violence, adult situations, alcohol...

If you don't like shonen-ai/yaoi/boy's love, you probably won't like this story one bit, so I suggest that you stop reading...you still here? Great. I will probably throw random pairings in here, Akuroku and Soriku as the main ones. There MAY or MAY NOT be others...no guarantees on that.

~KeedaxEmry

I hate my dad. I hate _Kelly_ and Sora and Riku. Truthfully, I hate my life. Axel made me feel….different. Like I mattered, like I had something to give to this world. When I was around him, everything else fell away, and I wasn't this empty shell of a human being. He made me _happy_. I thought I did the same to him….but maybe that was just wishful thinking because, in the end, I am the person no one likes to be around. I am the mistake, the reason why everything went wrong. Axel finally figured that out…he doesn't deserve me. He deserves much, much better.

I pulled my knees to my chest, tears burning my eyes and making me choke. I can't take this anymore. I can't.

XxXxX

"Is something on your mind, Roxas?" Naminé asked.

I blinked, glancing up from my bland lunch-water bottle, apple, dry bagel. "….no." I uncapped my water, taking a swing in hopes that she wouldn't see the color rising in my cheeks.

"Want some?" she held out an open pack of M&Ms.

I took some, crunching them in-between my teeth and letting them coat my mouth with sweet sugary chocolate-y goodness. "So," I said slowly, my nerves desperately trying to shut me up, "what are you—" I stopped short, my stomach a giant knot against my racing heart. I blushed even deeper.

Naminé leaned closer to me, her hair falling in front of her face. "I'm not doing anything Saturday night, if you wanted to hang out like we usually do," she said teasingly.

She always knows what I'm thinking; she's just doing this to torture me. Oh crap, what was Olette's advice?

Naminé looked at me expectantly while I racked my brain. Ask her out on a picnic…wait, not at night! A movie? "Do you want to go see a movie Saturday night?" I blurted.

"Oh, that depends. Is this a friendship thing or….?"

"You know what I mean!"

"I don't believe I do," she smiled even wider.

"Do you want to go out on a date? With me?"

Naminé let out the laughter that she had been holding in; it was like the chiming of bells. "Yes, I've been waiting for you to ask me!" she exclaimed.

"And you just _had_to go and torment me?"

"Yes," she giggled.

I made a face at her, but, really, I didn't mind. I was flying; exhilarated; ecstatic. I couldn't stop grinning like a big idiot.

Only a few people really understand me…Naminé….my mom…Hayner…I mean, I'm not even that close to Pence and Olette, and they're my best friends, next to Hayner. So that Naminé said yes…is kind of a big deal for me. If only Saturday would come quicker…

My mom was as excited as I was. I went home after school to find her sitting in her favorite recliner, a thick book balanced on her lap, her messy blonde hair pulled back, and her reading glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.

She looked up as I walked in. "How was your day?"

"Ok, I guess. I finally asked her." I kept my face static, my expression blank.

My mom almost knocked her book out of her lap. "What'd she say?"

"Yes," I grinned. "We're going to go watch a movie on Saturday."

She got up, setting her glasses on her book. "That's great," she squeezed my shoulders. "I can take you guys over."

I groaned inwardly. "When can I get my license?"

My mom laughed, already walking out of the room. "Not for a long while."

The smell of dinner was already wafting through the air when my dad arrived home; I was hoping that he'd stay at the office late, like usual, but I had no such luck.

He is the complete opposite of my mother. He is already losing his hair, probably from the stress of his job, and he keeps what's left of it neatly plastered to his forehead. His hair is an ugly black color. My mom, on the other hand, has blonde, flowing, youthful hair. My dad is quiet; my mom is outgoing. My dad is plump; my mom is slender. My dad thrives on structure, routine; my mom thrives on creativity, spontaneous decisions. My dad is a workaholic, at his office, at home, 24/7, always working, working, working. My mom use to be a preschool teacher but now she spends her time at home: reading, baking, watching those weird soap operas….

My dad simply nodded his head at me before sitting down at the table to eat. My mom was talking a mile a minute, but he just sat there, chewing slowly and ignoring her.

"Honey, how was your day?" she asked. "How was the office? Did you get a new secretary? Did you finish your paperwork? Did you enjoy the lunch I packed? Are you going to hang out with John this weekend?"

There was no end to her questions. I just stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, feeling myself getting angrier and angrier; it was no secret that my parents had relationship problems. But at least my mom was _trying_, while my dad just sat there, treating her as if what she said held no importance. He looked down at his food as if transfixed, cutting through the meat vigorously.

"Answer her," I snapped, actually shaking from rage. My big mouth is going to get me in trouble one of these days.

Surprisingly, he didn't even look up from his plate. "Stay out of this, Roxas."

"Why should I?" I growled.

He gripped his knife and fork tighter, his tendons showing, white and angry.

"Roxas," my mom took a step towards me, "not now. Please go upstairs and give your father and I a chance to talk."

I did go, but my head was reeling. I could hear my dad yelling, no _screaming_, at the top of his lungs. I listened for a while, my rage bubbling inside of me, threatening to spill over at any moment.

Suddenly, the voices subdued. I let my resentment out; ripping paper (my dad's face), screaming into my pillow (my dad's ear), punching my bed (my dad's face), and kicking various furnisher (various body parts belonging to my dad).

I do have a bit of a temper, but still. How can my dad act that way, as if his family is nonexistent? And when he acts like we _do_ exist, it's to treat us like trash. Like we _ruined_his pathetic life…..as if. _He's_ the reason why my mom cries late at night, thinking I can't hear. _He's_ the reason why the doctor put my mom on various medications. _He's_the reason why our family is falling apart by the seams. It's all his fault.

XxXxX

"Roxas? ROXAS?"

Someone was banging on my door. It was most likely Hayner. I tried to open my eyes, but I was still so exhausted….my mind was already slipping back to dreamland.

I felt my mattress sink due to added weight…..or maybe I was dreaming?

I heard the mattress creak slightly, and my eyes burst open as I flew off the bed, landing with a thump on the floor.

Hayner stood on my bed, cracking up. "God, you're a hard sleeper."

I sat up, irritated. "I was _trying_ to sleep!"

Hayner stuck his tongue out at me. "You sleep enough as it is. Don't you know it's already noon? School started hours ago."

"WHAT?" I craned my neck, looking up at my digital clock: 12:02.

I can't believe I slept so late, I thought. I must not have slept well…..

I jumped up, scrambling to find clothes, not even thinking about why Hayner would be at my house instead of at school.

The t-shirt I sleep in was already above my head, when Hayner howled with laugher again.

I looked at him suspiciously, my arms still raised.

"Roxas," he stated, "it's Saturday."

I blinked. "It's not…."

"Nope," Hayner shook his head, a wolfish smile on his face.

I tackled him off my bed. "You woke me up on a Saturday?"

Hayner snickered, pushing me off him. He ran, and I chased after him, trying to land a blow or two to the back of his head.

We ended up collapsing on the couch in fits of laughter.

Hayner can be a real jerk sometimes, but he's a good friend. Out of the four of us-me, Hayner, Pence and Olette that is-he's the leader. He always makes us do the stupidest things, like that time in fourth grade when he convinced us that our teacher was an alien. We slipped into her house to search through her things; she arrived home, and we panicked, hiding under her couch. All four of us were smashed together, and Olette let out a nervous giggle and that's how she found us. She was pretty mad. I'll just say this: we saw some things we weren't suppose to. Parents were called and some of us were punished (Namely Pence, his parents are so strict). My mom and dad thought it was pretty amusing…..they laughed their heads off. Hayner could be bossy but he was also kind (at least once you got to know him) and loyal.

Today he was wearing camouflage pants, a white muscle shirt, and sneakers.

He handed me a bowl of ice cream. Breakfast or no breakfast, I was eating it. I love sweets: candy, cake, ice cream. Especially ice cream.

We watched TV, talking about pointless things. I mentioned my date with Naminé, which I really shouldn't have done.

"Really? You finally asked her?"

"Yeah...you'll have to leave soon so I can get ready."

Hayner frowned, probably thinking 'That witch is my replacement?' "What do you see in her?" Then he added hurriedly, "No offense or anything, she's just…." He waved his hand.

"She's kind and sweet and friendly and open and honest and loyal and understanding and—"

"Whoa. Did I press a button or something?"

"Naminé is a good friend of mine."

"Oh? I'm not?"

"Hayner," I said exasperated, "you're my best friend. You think I'm going to go out and replace you with a girl?"

Hayner looked at my serious expression, and punched my arm-ow-already grinning."Of course not."

Hayner, Pence, and Olette didn't really understand or like Naminé. Basically: if I was with them, I wasn't with her, and if I was with her, I wasn't with them. I guess Pence and Olette were ok with her, but Hayner…..he'd always complain that she's a prep, with a too-skinny waist and too much eye make-up…..until I told him to shut up, that is.

Hayner left shortly after, and I began to tidy myself up. Hair combed…check. Teeth brushed….check. Money? Yes. Coat? Yes.

My mom was helping me, buzzing around with excitement, light on her feet. It was the happiest I had seen her in a while.

"Let me help you with your hair!"

My hand shot up to my head. "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It's doing that sticking-up-everywhere thing again."

She ran her hand through my hair, patting it harder and harder.

She used water, then moose. My mom got more frustrated as time went on, finally yanking down on it painfully.

"You're hurting me," I voiced.

She stopped. "I'm sorry. Maybe if I use more moose…."

Nothing worked.

We gave up entirely, and went to go pick Naminé up.

Naminé slide onto the seat next to me. We were quiet, for the most part, except for the small talk my mom issued to Naminé.

Mom dropped us off at the mall, and she left with a smile and a beep of her horn.

Naminé looked great-she was wearing jeans, and a white tank top with a denim jacket thrown over it. Her hair was down (like always) and she had her black sketchbook with her (like always).

"What movie do you want to see?" I asked her while we waited in line.

"Hmmm….let's see: there's a zombie movie, a comedy, some new Disney movie, oh and that new fantasy about mermaids."

"Which one?" I asked as we stepped up to the counter.

"The comedy," Naminé decided.

The movie was nice. My stomach was crawling from being in such close proximity with her. It was like insects-squirming little insects, climbing up from my toes and up my legs, and up my chest, and up the cape of my neck, and up over my face, and up to my hair where they buried themselves in my scalp. I shivered despite myself.

Naminé glanced at me in the dim light of the theater, a small smile on her face.

We ended up holding hands towards the end of the movie. Naminé was the one who grabbed my hand, of course.

Why am I so shy? Um, anyway….

After the movie, we slid across from each other in a red booth at Johnny Rocket's.

"I had the creepiest dream last night," Naminé said as we looked over the menu. "I was in a forest; there was fog everywhere, making everything appear white. It was silent and eerie. Nothing was moving, until I saw you. You were crying, and I tried to approach you, but once you saw me, you ran. I couldn't catch you. I eventually stopped and a man appeared out of nowhere," she shuddered. "He had fiery red hair and he grabbed my chin, and forced me to look up into his eyes...he was grinning and he began to laugh and laugh at me. The only thing he said was '_You're_ Naminé?' Then I woke up."

"Whoa, that's—"

We were interrupted briefly by the waiter who took our orders and left.

Naminé took out her sketchpad and, after opening to a certain page, held it out to me.

I took it. She had drawn black trees with no leaves; they were so tall, you couldn't see the tops. The mist, white crayon, was scribbled everywhere. A man stood in the middle of it, his shockingly red hair pulled back in a ponytail and his black clothes a sharp contrast against the white. The man was clearly laughing, and he had something under his eyes….I leaned in for a closer look. They looked like black tear drops. The man looked really full of himself…it must have been the expression on his face, or something.

"Wow that's…creepy," I decided.

Naminé quickly took it back. "What do you think my dream means?"

I shook my head. "I don't know…you're going to meet someone new?"

Naminé tucked the sketchbook onto her lap. "Maybe….have you had any cool dreams lately?"

"Um, I had a dream that I had my license already and I spent all my time speeding down my street," I stopped to take a sip of my water. "That a really lame dream in comparison to yours."

Naminé laughed, her hand raised to her mouth.

Our food arrived and we dug in. Later we ordered chocolate milkshakes. Johnny Rocket's has the best milkshakes in this town; frothy and delicious….I always get cravings in class to come here and pig out.

I ran a hand through my hair. "I should call my mom."

Naminé merely nodded.

I paid and we walked out into the parking lot.

"Hello?"

"Hi mom. The movie's over, so could you come pick us up?"

"Roxas, how was it? What movie did you see? Did you guys ki—"

"Mom!" I hissed. "Later, ok?"

"Oh…." My mom sounded slightly hurt but her voice regained its cheerfulness and overall perkiness. "I'll be there in a few minutes. Bye!"

"Bye."

Naminé and I sat on the curb, watching headlights flash on and leave the parking lot; watching cars swerve towards the mall, most of them being rowdy teenagers. It wasn't pitch black but it was getting there. Naminé turned her head away from me to watch a girl jog past, the girl's ponytail bobbing to the left and right with each step she took. I looked at Naminé. At the slight curve of her cheek, at her small, fragile body, at her pink cheeks, her full lips, her button nose, her large, innocent blue eyes, her blonde hair that seemed perfectly straight but actually curled down at the ends. She had a content smile on her face.

The wind blew harshly, throwing Naminé's hair into my face and tickling my nose. Her hair smelled like strawberries….

My mom arrived a little sooner than I wanted her to; we dropped Naminé off while my mom managed to keep her bubbling questions to herself.

Once we were off Naminé's street, my mom assaulted me with a flurry of inquires. I told her everything because it was nice to see my mom back to her old self. Also it was nice to have someone to talk to…it's not like I was going to tell Hayner about my date. _That'd_be a mistake.

My mom was pretty pleased with the details I had provided for her. I couldn't help thinking that me dating Naminé was like a lifeline for her….something for her to hold onto. I've had a giant crush on Naminé ever since she moved here in the fifth grade. She finally took notice of me a year or so later, and we became friends…..

Now it was three years later. My mom seemed so happy…not like usual. Lately she had been keeping to herself, and she seemed different in a way I can't explain.

I decided to take a shower before going to bed. The hot water poured over me, filling my ears with a gentle roaring sound.

_Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world._

_She took the midnight train goin' anywhere._

_Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit. _

_He took the midnight train goin' anywhere…._

I shut off the water, still singing. I'm sure I was badly out of pitch, and I was probably singing louder than I should have been eleven at night, but I was too happy to stop.

_A singer in a smoky room,_

_The smell of wine and cheap perfume._

_For a smile they can share the night._

_It goes on and on and on and on._

I stepped out of the shower, the tiled floor cool against my feet. I grabbed a white fluffy towel to dry myself off. I threw my pajamas on, not even bothering to comb my hair. My towel was hung up, and my voice rose in a crescendo as I reached the chorus:

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on to the feelin'_

_Streetlights, people_

My hand was on the doorknob when I heard a loud crash. I abruptly stopped singing to throw the door open and race to the kitchen, the blood pounding in my ears. My mom was laying on the floor, a plate shattered beside her. She looked up at me, her eyes dazed and scared; she looked like a used pop can that has been crushed and thrown out a car window to rust next to the highway.

I kneeled next to her, scooping sharp pieces of glass into my hands. "Mom? Are you ok?" My voice was hoarse from singing.

"It's nothing, Roxas," she said, a wisp of a tremble in her voice. "I slipped."

She tried to push herself up with her thin, shaking arms. I swiftly threw the bits of plate into the trash can and bent down, dismayed, to help her.

I grabbed her arms, and she winced, shrugging me off. "Mom?" I sounded like I was about to cry.

My dad appeared in the doorway, jingling the car keys in his hands. "I'll take her to the hospital; you stay here."

I stood up, my fists clenched by my legs. "I'm going too."

He shook his head. "It's way past your bedtime as it is."

When's the last time he used that excuse?

"Roxas, please….." my mom said feebly.

"What happened?" I asked angrily.

"I'm taking her to the hospital because she slipped; get up." My dad frowned down at the form of my mother.

My mom frantically tried to push herself up, but she gasped, falling back down. My dad sighed, wrapping his arms around her and hoisting her up onto her feet.

"Thank you, sweetie," she blinked.

I followed them to the front door. "No," my dad growled, making me feel like a dog.

"I'm coming!"

"Maybe he should….." my mom said softly, leaning against the wall.

"No, he shouldn't," my dad said, his voice full of authority.

"Ok….."

My dad pulled the door open, taking my mom's hand as she leaned against him. They wobbled through the doorway and I followed.

"I am **not **staying," I said stubbornly.

"He doesn't listen to me," my dad said to my mom.

"Roxas, it would mean a lot to me if you'd listen to your father and stay here," my mom managed.

I frowned, crossing my arms across my chest. "Fine," I said, not looking at either of them.

They left.

I sat in the living room, the room pitch black, my legs criss-crossed and my back pressed against the base of the couch. A clock from somewhere in the house ticked and tocked, the only noise echoing in the silence.

It was hard to believe that I had just watched a movie with Naminé….unfathomable how quickly things change. I had been singing my lungs off a few minutes ago…..

I pulled my legs up to my chest, resting my chin on my knees. All I could think of was my mother…..my small, frail mother laying on a hospital bed in a large, foreign building full of sick, dying people. People sniffing, coughing, wheezing, choking, groaning, crying, screaming, grieving, dying. Doctors and nurses walking through the halls, their faces stone cold and uncaring. The nurses' heeled-shoes clanking on the floor as they walk to patients' rooms, to deliver weird-smelling, foul medicine. The doctors all wear green scrubs and lab coats, non-chantingly telling an uncle, aunt, cousin, friend, neighbor, daughter, son, father, mother, that they are going to die. There's nothing left we can do. You're doomed; damned. And as they sob, the doctors walk away. The doctors have faced Death daily, have seen its black cloak, its pale, lifeless face, have heard its rattling breath, smelled it's decaying smell, and now they see it as a problem to solve. 2+2=4, but sometimes 2+2=x, unknown. You're doomed; damned. Some patients are incurable; so throw your hands in the air and give up. It isn't worth it. It will never be worth it.

My mom is worth it. She is. She deserves the best; she doesn't deserve this….why does she keep getting sick? Why won't she talk to me about…..about whatever is wrong? Why is her face always lined with sadness? _Why won't she talk to me? _I could help her…..she has to get better. Has to. I need her.

She can't die.

No—

_**No**_**—**

Why would I think something like that? Something so _horrible_**.** She'll be fine, she only slipped…..but why would she have to go to the hospital for that? She has been in and out of the hospital multiple times this year: pneumonia, infections, broken bones, stomach flues, arthritis, overall bad health.

That can't be normal. What changed? She used to be in great health-a healthy amount of fat protecting her body, a spring in her step. Now she's a pale, thin skeleton; she's trying to hide it from me. She is always smiling when I'm around, pretending to be ok. I have to talk to her because I can help her get better. She won't die alone on a hospital bed—

I roughly brushed my damp hair away from my face. Am I having a panic attack? I panted, trying to take deep, slow breaths, but inside my body was still screaming.

Breathe. In. Out. In. Out.

I raised my head from where I had buried it in my knees. The house, somehow, was still exactly the same: TV in the corner, my mom's favorite recliner in front of it, pictures of our trip to Italy covering the wall.

That had been our last family vacation. I had only been nine years old; I remember having a lot of fun despite the blistering heat and pickpockets.

I stood up slowly and carefully, walking up to the pictures and running my fingertips over the smooth glass covering. There's us at that wine-tasting place, the leaning tower of Pisa, Lake Como…

I stopped at the lowest picture. We had been walking down through Milan, one of the largest cities in Italy, when my mom saw this famous artist or singer or something. His name was Leon, I think. My mom, being her, wanted to get her picture with him so she shoved our camera into the hands of an un-expecting tourist and we all grouped together.

Leon is scowling at the edge of the picture while a black haired girl yanks playfully at his arm. (Where'd she come from?) My dad has his arm wrapped around my mom's shoulders and they are both smiling towards the camera. They look…so happy. I stand next to my dad on the far right side of the picture. I look small and insignificant next to him-I only reach his waist!-but at least I am grinning.

I sighed, dropping my hand to let it hang by my side, and looked at the clock. It's already three in the morning. I really should be in bed, but I know that I would be incapable of sleep.

Instead I went to the kitchen. The light blinked on, making me shield my eyes; I look through all the cabinets and the refrigerator. My family sure stocks up on junk food: Doritos, Cheetos, Skittles, Milky Ways, _anything _chocolate, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, pizza, cheese crackers, granola bars, cake, ramen; vanilla, chocolate, cookie dough, and sea-salt flavored ice cream.

I tore open a packet of popcorn, trying to be somewhat healthy, and set it in the microwave. The microwave whirred to life after I put it on the right settings, and almost immediately the room smelled of butter and salt.

They've been gone a long time. I pulled myself up onto the white countertop where I sat, my legs dangling off the side. Shouldn't my dad call? It can't take this long….can it?

I swatted the negative thoughts away like flies; no need to worry.

The microwave went off with a beepbeepbeep exclaiming "END" in bold green letters.

I jumped off the counter and grabbed a large bowl to pour the popcorn in. I walked out, the steaming bowl in my heads, and headed down the hallway into my room, which was at the far end of the house.

I turned my laptop on and sat on my blue computer chair with the bowl wedged in-between my legs.

Oh. Hayner's online.

Roxas: Why r u on?

Hayner: No, why r u on so late? :P

Roxas: I'm waiting for my parents to get home from the hospital.

Hayner: Oh shit, Roxas, what happened?

Roxas: My mom fell.

Hayner: Fell?

Roxas: Yeah.

Hayner: What? Down _stairs? _Your house doesn't even have stairs.

Roxas: IDK she fell in the kitchen.

Hayner: Geez that must have been a hard fall.

Roxas: Yeah.

Hayner: Ummmm.

Hayner: Know what next week is?

I smiled at the bright screen, putting another handful of popcorn in my mouth before setting my fingers back on the keyboard.

Roxas: No.

Hayner: Liar.

Roxas: What is it?

Hayner: Your birthday, stupid.

Roxas: Yeah I know. Fifteen-I'll be older than u!

Hayner: In your dreams. I will be always be older than u. Anyway, guess what I got u.

Roxas: What?

Hayner: Guess.

Roxas: WHAT?

Hayner: You have to GUESS.

Roxas: Tell me!

Hayner: Do u know the meaning of the word 'guess'?

Roxas: Hmmm…..NO.

Roxas: Say it already.

Hayner: Ha I'll never tell u. You'll have to wait.

Roxas: Uhhhhh

The door creaked open, revealing a black silhouette.

"Dad?" I inquired, spinning in my chair to face him. He nodded. "Is mom ok?" I asked, eagerly, expectantly.

My dad's hand passed over his face and for a moment I expected the worst, my fear threatening to choke me. Thankfully, _mercifully_, he said, "She's fine but she needs rest. She's in bed right now; I won't have you disturbing her, understand?"

"Of cou—"

He was already gone, closing my door with a soft click.

I turned back to the computer, happy even as I realized how worn out I felt.

Hayner: R u there?

Hayner: Hellooooooo?

I quickly typed my reply.

Roxas: Sorry, my parents just got home.

Hayner: And?

Roxas: She's ok.

Hayner: Good. Arg, Olette is bugging me about being on the computer for so long

Roxas: Her and Pence r over there?

Hayner: Yepp.

Roxas: Thanks 4 not inviting me.

Hayner: You were out with Naminé.

Roxas: So?...anyway, what'd u get me?

Hayner: Not telling! What r u doing next Sunday?

Roxas: Hanging out with my family, eating cake.

Hayner: We should hang out Saturday.

Roxas: Sure. Doing what?

Hayner: Something.

Roxas: That doesn't sound good.

Hayner: Don't lie to yourself. Uh Olette shut up already.

Hayner: I am being forced to get off to go watch The Princess Bride

Roxas: R.U.S.!

Hayner: Rats of unusual size r going to kill us all. XD

Hayner: Bye.

Roxas: Bye.

I shut the computer off and set the now empty bowl on my desk.

I felt slightly woozy-probably the combination of eating sweets, staying up late, and staring at a computer screen. I crawled into my bed, the light off and my window cracked open.

I didn't close my eyes for a little while, despite my fatigue and the deep urge to sleep for a hundred years. I pressed the cool sheet against my cheek as a slight breeze settled over me; it had a slight chill in it, promises for a harsh winter, but it was also crisp and refreshing.

I looked at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers plastered across my ceiling before closing my eyes.

XxXxX

A week later, I woke up early, and crawled out of bed to take a shower. Once I was done, I found the house eerily quiet.

I walked to my parents' room and peeked inside the cracked door. The room was dark, all the shades down, and I could see a tuff of my mom's hair underneath the sheet.

I tiptoed to the kitchen. My dad usually works on Saturdays, so I was surprised to find him sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in one hand, the newspaper in the other. What _wasn't_ surprising was that he was wearing his black business suit.

"G'morning," I said briefly, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet.

"Uh-huh."

I grabbed the first box of cereal I could find-Cheerios-and poured some into my bowl, splashing milk on top.

I sat in the living room, eating, and listening to the crinkling noise of the newspaper.

A little while later, my dad left to "finish some paperwork" after making sure I would "be quiet" so that "mother can rest".

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I said to myself.

I spent the day lounging around ('loafing' as my mom would call it) until the mail arrived.

I looked down at the envelope in my hands. It was "Black Blood", a horror movie my mom and I had ordered a while ago. It was our tradition to scare each other with horror movies….I would force her to watch movies with living dolls, which worked the best to scare her. And in return, she would make me watch movies with zombies or ghosts….Although now we had seen way too many horror movies and they no longer scared us.

"Mom?" I crawled onto her bed. "Mom? Are you awake?"

Looking at her, I felt horrible. Her skin was pale, and her breath was quick considering that she was asleep.

"Mom?" I tried again, a little louder.

She flinched awake, looking at me. "What is it?" she asked groggily.

I held up the movie case.

She smiled. "The zombie movie, right?"

"Yeah, let's watch it."

"I don't know if I'm up to it…"

"Please?"

She made a noise in the back of her throat and wiggled to the other side of the bed. "Let's watch it here."

Grinning, I started the movie, sitting next to her.

The movie was short. Afterwards, my mom yawned, "I'm going back to bed, but have fun tonight."

I nodded, and left.

I went back to the living room to wait. It was already six, Hayner should be here any minute….

It was growing dark when he finally came.

I saw his car, a small red Toyota, make a sharp turn into our driveway and skid to a stop. He beeped the horn.

I stepped outside, my feet crunching on gravel as I walked up to his car.

I opened the passenger door and sat down.

"I thought you weren't suppose to drive without a parent?" I asked.

Hayner laughed. "You could say that."

I buckled my seatbelt as he sped down the street and onto the highway. "It won't be my fault when you get your permit taken away. Where are we going, anyway?"

"Hey, I get my license soon."

"You didn't answer my question. Where are we going?"

He turned off the highway, and onto a dirt road. "Somewhere."


	2. No Control

A/N: I can't believe I forgot to do this, but better later than never, I suppose.

DISCLAIMER; KeedaxEmry does _not _own Kingdom Hearts. (...and no amount of wishing will change that)

Thank you to anyone who reviewed, it is very much appreciated. ^-^

~KeedaxEmry

We were silent on the car ride. Hayner usually couldn't stop talking whenever I was with him, but something seemed different about him today. He drove quickly, wildly, and he turned onto a dirt road that seemed to lead to nowhere. The ride was bumpy and jarring; I gripped the handle of the door as Hayner swerved the car into a small clearing. He parked, and turned the car off. It seemed harshly silent without the roar of the engine and the deafening rumbling of the road.

"What's this?" I asked.

I looked out to see a large lake. The sun shimmered on its surface, and ripples spread out from where a fish had jumped up to grab an insect or bug to snack on. No one was on the beaches, if you could call it that. There was only sharp rocks surrounding the lake; no sand, and no tourists.

"Cerulean Lake. I use to come here a lot when I was little…"

Hayner spoke quietly and gently, which was rather unusual compared to the tough, angry-sounding voice he usually used.

I continued to look across the lake; it was beautiful, but why did he bring me here?

I glanced over at him. His body was turned towards me, his seatbelt was even off, but his eyes were casted downwards. His face looked torn.

"I—" he started to say. He shook his head. "I….wanted to…." He forced these words out from in-between his clenched teeth. He frowned, his face expression saying "Idiot! Idiot!"

Suddenly, I felt really, really awkward, so I turned away from him to stare out the window, and pretended that I didn't hear him say anything.

After a few moments of silence, he said, "I got you this."

A small box landed in my lap. I opened it to reveal a checkered black-and-white bracelet. I slipped it on; it was smooth, and it fit me perfectly.

"Thanks Hayner."

"No prob." He tapped the steering wheel.

"Where's Olette and Pence?"

"They're meeting us there." He started up the car.

That was weird, I thought as we drove off, although I didn't say anything.

We drove for a few more minutes, re-entering the highway and coming to a city.

I grew really anxious after we drove past a police car. They were bound to notice Hayner's reckless driving, or they might see how young Hayner is, or they could be sitting in their little cars, eating and chatting happily, when they see a driver not wearing his or her seatbelt. They'll flash their red-and-blue lights and pull up behind us to see a young boy smirking into the rearview mirror and—

"Will you _relax_?"

"I'm fine," I pouted.

Hayner shook his head very slightly, his lips turning upwards in a small smile.

Somehow we weren't pulled over. Hayner took a quick turn and the car stopped with a jerk.

"C'mon." He pulled his car door open.

We were at a plain white building. The windows were dark and I couldn't tell what it was.

Pence and Olette were already waiting for us; they were standing next to the door, which read "OPEN."

"Hi guys," Pence said, straightening.

"'sup?" Hayner pulled something out of his jeans' pocket and waved it around smugly. He handed each of us one.

It was a small plastic card. "….height….age….weight….Hayner, are these fake IDS?" I stared incredulously at the small picture of myself and at my age: 21.

He grinned.

"Hayner!" Olette exclaimed. "I thought this was a kid-friendly bar!"

"Where's the fun in that?" Hayner asked.

At the same time, Pence asked, "Do they even have those?"

"Wait, this is a bar?" I blinked.

They didn't even look towards me. "This is **wrong**," Olette frowned.

"We're not going to get drunk or anything," Hayner scowled back at her.

"How do you know that?"

Hayner smirked. "Calm down, geez."

"This isn't like breaking a school rule! This is illegal, it is against the law!"

Hayner shot me a knowing look, like we were privy to an inside joke. "It'll be fine. Come on already."

Olette pointed her finger at him. "No. You may have gotten me to do stupid things in the past, but you can't make me do this."

Hayner shrugged. "Suit yourself. Roxas, Pence, and I will have fun without you."

He reached for the door; Pence and I took an uncertain step towards him.

"No!" Olette cried out. "Pence, Roxas, don't be morons! You don't have to do everything he says!" She paused. "Hayner, please, can we forget this whole thing?"

"I already signed us up."

"You can't do that!"

"You're right, but I can sign us up when I get in there."

Olette sighed in exasperation. "I'm getting a cab home. Come if you want."

She turned on heel, and, for a split second, she glanced at us from the corner of her eye, to see if we were following her. We weren't. She marched away.

"Uh, sorry—" Pence ran after her, shooting us an apologetic look.

And they were gone.

"Um, why are we going to a bar?" I asked after a second.

"Because," Hayner opened the door, "they have karaoke."

Circular tables with lamps crowed the dimly lit room; somehow, the light appeared to glow a purple hue. At the far corner was a stage, and to the left was the bar.

A few people shot us weird looks as we walked in, but most of them just kept drinking from large, frothy mugs.

I followed Hayner to where he hopped onto a bar stool. I slowly sat down next to him.

A waiter wearing a black bow-tie started to walk towards us.

I grabbed Hayner's arm, hissing, "I'm not so sure about this. We're going to get cau—"

I abruptly stopped talking as the waiter cleared his throat. Hayner and I looked up at the tall man; I smiled nervously and Hayner beamed at him.

"Can I see some identification please?" he asked.

Hayner flashed our fake IDs, smiling kindly at the man.

He looked at them carefully for a few moments while I sweated and fidgeted, then he gave them back to Hayner. "Alright, sir."

"Told you it'd work," Hayner said once the waiter was gone.

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered darkly, my heart already pumping at its normal rate.

"Can I get two Framboises please?" Hayner waved the bartender over. The bartender quickly set the drinks down-two champagne glasses filled with red liquid-and took Hayner's money.

"What are you doing?" I asked, flabbergasted as Hayner took a sip.

"Mmmm, fruity."

"Are you **insane**?" I seethed. "You have to drive me home!"

Hayner looked at me coolly, the rim of the glass perched on his lips. "That's what you're worried about?"

I nodded as he continued to sip at the drink; he swiveled in the stool, and bent over something. He turned back to me, grinning. "I signed us up for karaoke."

"_What_?"

I cannot control Hayner for the life of me.

"Are you going to drink that?"

"No!"

"C'mon, it's your birthday."

"That doesn't make me want to drink! Do you know how bad alcohol is for you? It effects your liver, your heart, your memory, your judgment."

Hayner, still turned towards me, reached for his drink. A hand shot out of nowhere and grabbed the glass, pulling it away from him. His hand fumbled at the open air. "What—"

That's when we noticed the man sitting next to Hayner. The man had a red cloak on that hid half of his face. He was wearing gloves with the fingers cut off, and his hair was blonde and it stuck up as much as mine does.

"What are you doing?" Hayner asked angrily.

"You should listen to your friend," the man said. His voice was deep.

Hayner puffed up. "I don't take orders from the likes of you."

The man took a swing from his own glass-it looked like whiskey-and Hayner snatched his Framboise back.

"Fine, drink it." He took another gulp. "Everyone else here might let an idiot teenager get drunk without batting an eye, but I can't stand it."

Hayner took a large swing in defiance, and I found myself gripping his arm again. "Hayner, stop it!"

The man nodded towards me from behind his glass. He regarded Hayner unsympathetically. "Keep it up, kid, and you're going to end up killing yourself and your friend in a car crash."

He finished his drink, setting it down on the counter with a loud 'clunk' and walking out of the bar.

Hayner grumbled darkly to himself and downed the rest of his drink, already reaching for mine. I was looking around, but I saw the movement. I grabbed his wrist.

"Don't."

He let go of my drink, still muttering.

A girl-well more like a woman-sat down next to me. She had curled black hair that spread out over her shoulders. She wore a white tank-top and tight, black jeans. The glitter on her tank-top danced wherever the light touched them.

She smiled at me, showing off her perfectly white, perfectly straight teeth.

"My name's Monike," she chimed. "I haven't seen you here before."

She had the stool turned so that her knees were almost ramming into my side.

"I'm Roxas," I said after a second, turning away from her. Hayner was leaning back on his seat, seeming deathly bored.

"You're not going to drink that, are you?"

I shook my head.

Her hand snaked around my glass, the scarlet liquid swirling in lazy circles and her perfect crescent fingernails forming a ring around the glass's base.

She took a tiny sip. "Did you sign up for karaoke?"

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"No."

"Can I sign up for you?"

"No."

"Do you like to sing?"

"No." This woman can't take a hint.

"Then why'd you come?"

I shrugged.

"Do you like to drink?"

You're drinking my Framboise, so what do you think? Stupid, ditzy woman. "No."

More tiny sips. "Were you dragged here against your will?"

"No."

"By your friend there?" Monike winked towards Hayner. He ignored her.

"Sure."

"Ha!" She grinned in triumph. "I got you to say something else."

I blinked in response.

"Your friend's pretty cute."

I tapped my fingers against the bar counter.

"But you're cuter," she whispered, her lips almost grazing my ear, and her breath hot.

I jumped up. How'd she get that close to me in a split second? I shuddered to myself, unnerved.

Monike laughed. "I'm sorry."

I sat back down after getting weird glances from people. I scooted closer to Hayner and further away from Monike. "I'm taken, sorry," I managed to say.

"Oh? I get it now." She sipped at my drink, and threw her hair over her shoulder with a flick of her neck. "Your boyfriend brought you here. That's a bummer."

I realized what she was saying, and color flooded my face. "No! I have a girlfriend, she's just not here!"

I think Monike and I were entertaining Hayner; he was watching us, amused.

"You sure about that?"

"Yes!"

"Why are you here then?"

"My _friend_ brought me here to celebrate my birthday."

"Ok." She held her hands out in a shrug. "So you don't—"

"No!"

She stretched as if tired, and peered at me through her eyelashes. "I was _going_ to ask 'you don't want to talk to me?'."

"Oh…" I said, taken aback. "Well, I—"

"Whatever. Is your friend available?"

"Um—"

She was already over there.

Her and Hayner flirted mindlessly for a little while, although Hayner seemed to be looking at me more than her.

"Let's go somewhere," Monike giggled.

Hayner glanced at me. "I think—"

"Number 24? Your song is 'I'm so Excited' by the Pointed Sisters," someone announced.

Hayner smiled at me. "That's us."

"The Pointed Sisters?" I asked disgustingly.

Hayner grabbed my hand, and dragged me towards the stage. "I didn't pick the song."

Believe it or not, but Hayner seemed drunk. After **one **drink. He seemed to be in a great mood, and he spoke louder and closer to my face. And he was overly touchy. I dropped his hand as we walked onto the stage.

"Hayner, I don't want to—"

"Shush, the music's startingggg," his voice slurred.

It was. Hayner and I leaned towards the lone microphone, our heads close together while we squinted at the small TV set up in front of us. Words began to pop up on the screen: color moved across them, showing you the timing.

Hayner started singing, a little late, "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in this time and show me some affection, we're going for those pleasures in the night."

I let Hayner sing, only mouthing the words as he sang enthusiastically; he must really be drunk.

"I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you. I want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough."

Hayner grabbed the microphone, pulling it towards his mouth. He was so off-key, it was actually pretty funny. And it was hard to tell what he was saying. I'm sure people were laughing to their friends as he kept at it.

When the song finally ended, Hayner was hiccupping and slurring his words worse than before. I helped him wobble off the stage.

I decided that it was time to go, and led Hayner outside.

"You know I hate it when you get drunk," I said as we walked outside.

Hayner stepped up to his car, but I stopped him. "Why can't I dwive?" he immediately whimpered.

"You are in no condition to drive. I'll call my mom to come get us."

"We're all ze way in Shelbyville," Hayner hiccupped. "And my carrrrr!"

"Quit whining. It's your own fault," I said, my phone already pressed to my ear.

It rang on unendingly.

I hung up with a click. "She's not answering," I said annoyed.

"You could dwive."

I shook my head. "What now?"

I guess our only option was to wait for her to call back…What do we do in the meantime?

Going across the street to a café for dinner was Hayner's suggestion.

We sat at a table, nibbling on food; I'd call my mom every five minutes, but she still wasn't picking up.

Hayner pulled a flask out of his jacket pocket and I quickly confiscated it. **That's** how he got drunk. Hayner has a drinking problem. I think the reason for it is his parents…they never talk to him, and they basically spend all their time going out of their ways to ignore him. He started drinking to get attention, which I guess didn't really work because his parents don't give a damn what he does or doesn't do. It did get my attention, though. He was sleeping over at my house, something he does a lot since he hates going home, and he brought a bottle of wine that he had stolen from his dad. I freaked out, and grabbed it out of his hands before he could drink any. 'What do you think you're doing?' I asked 'We'll get in trouble!' He told me not to worry, that it had a low alcohol content, etc. I dumped it down the drain. He was pissed…but he got over it. Ever since then, I've known about his "drinking history." I hate his drinking, so I made him quit. Or so I thought.

"Zat's mine!" he whined.

"You stopped drinking, remember?"

"Just givvve it back!"

He made a grab for the flask but I shoved it in my pocket. "You've already had too much. You can't even talk properly."

"I ha one dwink! How is zat too much?"

"Apparently it is."

I drained the last of my coffee, dialing my home phone number again. It rang four times and cracked with static when my mom finally answered.

"Hello?" she sobbed.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

"Roxas," she sniffed. "I'm fine."

"What happened?" I asked urgently.

"Nothing." Her tears seemed to have stopped.

"What happened?" I repeated. "Did grandpa die?"

"No, honey. Everything's fine."

I wasn't convinced, but she changed the subject.

"Your messages said that you and Hayner need a ride home?"

"Yeah. Hayner's, um, incapacitated and I can't drive."

"One second." I heard her talking to my dad. He sounded angry. "Roxas?" she returned.

"Yeah?"

"Is it possible for you to find a different way home? Or maybe stay the night there?"

"Why? There's no other way for us to get home!"

"Well, your father and I are very tired…"

"It's only a fifteen minute drive!" I snapped.

I could practically hear her wince over the phone; I **never **raise my voice at her. "I'm sorry," I quickly added.

"You could walk?"

"It's pitch black outside. And freezing."

"I…" There was some static, and I could hear my dad yelling. It sounded like 'irresponsible.'

"Roxas?"

It was my dad. He sounded furious.

"Yeah?" I asked cautiously.

"You got yourself over there, so you're going to get yourself back."

"But—"

"No," he said in warning. "You listen here, young man. Your mother is in no condition to drive and I'm not going to chaffer you and your friend's lazy asses around everywhere when _I_ have work to do. You're practically an adult, and it's time to start acting like one."

Dial tone.

I angrily shoved my phone in my pocket. "Looks like we're stuck here." I paid the bill and we walked outside.

"Zat sucks."

"I know," I sighed. "How much money do you have on you?"

"Umm…twentyyy…" He leaned against me, almost falling.

"And I have five. That gets us nowhere."

"I half zis."

"Zis" turned out to be Hayner's silver credit card. His father gave it to him so that Hayner would stop asking for money.

We walked into the nearest hotel. People were probably really worried to see two teenage boys, one drunk and one livid, asking for the cheapest room.

We charged money onto the credit card to get a dingy hotel room. A "dingy hotel room" is the equivalent of: one bed, one TV, an empty mini fridge, and a tiny bathroom complete with tiny bottles of shampoo and scratchy gray towels.

"I can't believe him," I growled, sitting down on the bed. "Who the hell would do that? What kind of _father _would abandon his kid like that? What was he so mad about anyway? _I'll _give him something to be angry about. That—" I stopped my rant early. "Hayner?"

He seemed to have disappeared…..no, he was throwing up in the bathroom. That's what he gets.

I sat back on a pillow, turning the TV on.

"…his comments were that the fire was purely an accident, caused by bad wiring in the kitchen. But his headmaster—"

Booooooooring news. Click.

The next channel as a cooking show-"Everything and Anything Lobster!"-click.

There's never anything good on. I pushed the quilt and sheet to the foot of the bed and laid down, turning the lamp off so the blue light of the TV flickered into the darkness. Hayner's probably passed out in the bathroom right now; I can have the bed. Lucky me.

I closed my eyes while some celebrity wailed over her lost Chihuahua. Blah, blah, blah. I turned to my side, stretching.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my cheek. I blinked. Hayner was standing next to the bed, looking down at me. I pushed his hand off me. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Done throwing up?"

"Roxasss."

He crawled into bed next to me, forcing me to scoot over as far as the bed would allow. "Hayner, you can sleep on the floor."

"Nooo, ivy waf too be wif oo," he garbled.

He inched over to me, and wrapped his arms around me. "G-Get off!" I tried to push him off, but he clung on to me. It was too hot; too many blankets on the bed, Hayner emitting as much heat as a mini sun. "Get off!" I demanded.

Hayner's face was right next to mine. I felt...more than a little uncomfortable, so I twisted away until I had some breathing room. I didn't get far before he leaned closer to me, and pressed his lips on mine. I blushed, the blood pounding in my ears, and tried to push him away. His lips moved across mine while I thrashed in the bed. The smell of alcohol burned my nose and it was getting hard to breathe. He stopped kissing me, but he stayed where he was, his arms wrapped around me, his eyes closed, and his face tranquil.

I struggled. Hayner was too strong; I could barely move. I gave up, letting my body go stiff. Hayner's breathing became deeper and more rhythmic after a few minutes, and I jumped out of the bed, turning the lamp on.

"Vat ze ell are oo doinggg?" Hayner asked, sounding both groggy and drunk.

"I should be asking you that!"

"Huh? Vat'd I do?"

"You….you…"

Hayner opened his eyes slowly. "Heyyy, Roxas, oo look gate in zat—" He passed out.

What. The. Hell. Just. Happened?

I yanked a pillow off the bed and laid down on the floor. I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. It was either the annoying voices coming from the TV, the stiff carpet poking my aching back, the sound of Hayner snoring, the glare of the digital alarm clock, the leaky faucet in the bathroom, the cold, September air, or the weird thoughts circling in my mind. I mean, was this Hayner being a weird drunk….or does he like me o—

He's drunk. That's all.

But, some irritating voice in the back of my mind whispered, he acts different when he's around you. He gives you his full-attention, something he never does with Pence or Olette. His eyes linger on you, and he loathes Naminé, because he's obviously jealous.

Shut up, my normal voice thought.

It's true, don't deny it, the voice breathed.

I stood up. I **will** get some sleep. Because the thought that Hayner might have feelings for me was ridiculous, ludicrous; all he needed was to sober up, and all _I_ needed was some sleep. Yes, perfectly reasonable.

I located the remote and turned it to a music channel because music always helps me fall asleep. I turned the thermostat up until the vent was humming and the room quickly became toasty. I washed my face, scrubbing every pore until all the sweat and grim disappeared. I made sure to twist the handle hard enough to make the water stop dripping. A few towels laid on the counter, looking crumpled and forgotten; once they were folded in a neat pile, everything looked much, much better. A disposable cup sat next to the coffeemaker, and, assuming it was Hayner's, I threw it out, and got a new one. It might have been small, but it still provided the gulp of ice cold water that I needed. I set my phone down near the soap, after reading a text message from my mom that apologized. I got lost in my reflection for a moment (I looked so worn out...), but the scream of a guitar brought me back to my senses. The volume on the TV was probably up too loud, making everything else seem quieter in contrast, although I wasn't too worried that it would wake Hayner up any time soon. Sighing, I emptied his flask, watching the amber liquid swirl down the drain with a 'guhguhguh' kind of noise. I unplugged the clock so I couldn't see how late it was (1:17) and denied the urge to go tidy things up further. Instead, I pulled the top blanket off the bed, curling up on the floor with my eyes closed tightly.

The TV wasn't annoying me, the floor seemed somewhat comfortable, Hayner wasn't snoring, the clock was peacefully blank, the faucet was quiet, and I wasn't cold, but I still laid there, wide awake.

It was torture; time ticked by slowly. Seconds turned into minutes which then turned into hours.

I buried my face underneath the blanket. Sleep, I demanded.

...I couldn't breathe. I pulled the blanket off my face, taking a deep breath. My arm is falling asleep. I rolled to my other side, my arm tingling. Now I was getting a leg cramp.

I groaned, sitting up. It was still dark, but it had to almost be morning. Right?

I got up, turning the coffee pot on. Soon there was a cup of black coffee in my hands. And another.

I sipped it quicker than I should have, and it burned my throat. I kept at it anyway.

Hayner woke up around eight because I turned the volume on the TV up all the way. It felt good to see him jump.

"Turn it down!" he yelped. "God, my head freakin hurts…"

I turned it down a little and Hayner got out of bed, his hair a bird's nest.

"Do you want me to order breakfast?"

"Don't talk so loud." He rubbed his head.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Just toast and orange juice."

I picked up the phone and ordered. It's a good thing that the breakfast is complimentary, I don't want Hayner's parents getting angry at the two of us for spending too much money. Not that they would notice. Hayner doesn't seem to remember last night at all; he's currently staring at the TV with a blank look on his face. If he doesn't remember…I guess I could just pretend that nothing ever happened….I don't know if that's a good thing or not….

"Why didn't we just go home yesterday?" he asked.

"You were wasted."

"Oh yeah," he yawned. "It's your birthday!"

"Yeah, I guess so."

I sat on the bed and Hayner scooted closer to me. I quickly stood up.

He smirked at me. "I wasn't going to hit you. I was going to give you your birthday present."

I lifted my arm, letting my bracelet slide halfway down.

"Not that."

He proceeded to give me an Xbox game from my favorite series.

"Thanks, this is great!" I grinned.

"Glad you like it." He smiled sheepishly at my enthusiasm.

Breakfast came shortly afterwards and we drove home. Hayner kept the conversation going between us, with me supplying some "uh-huhs" here and there. I arrived home to find a giant, pink cake sitting on the kitchen counter. It was circular with two layers. It was swimming in strawberry frosting, proclaiming "Happy Birthday!" with flowers and multicolored sprinkles surrounding it. It had my mom written all over it.

I scooped a bit of frosting on my finger and tasted it. My mom, as if on cue, appeared, hitting my hand with a wooden spoon.

"Not until tonight!"

"Tastes good, mom."

"Oh thank you," she smiled proudly. "It was suppose to be a surprise, but you arrived home earlier than I thought…" She lowered her voice. "I'm sorry about last night, your father was dealing with a very tough client, and he got upset and overreacted. It's all my fault, really. But you understand, don't you?"

"Sure, sure, I understand….wait, how is it your fault?"

"I forgot to give your father papers the client needed…anyway," she clapped her hands together. "It's your birthday, so how do you want to celebrate?"

I shifted my weight to my other foot. "You're feeling better?"

"Like a tulip in April!"

I laughed at her old saying; she did seem to be back to her old self for the most part. The tip-offs: the flush in her cheeks, her large grin, her bright eyes, and the way she was making everything sound more exciting than they actually were.

"Could we go to the aquarium?"

She was delighted at the idea. We spent the day there, looking through glass at brightly colored fish, jellyfish, seahorses, eels, sharks, manatees. We even went to the dolphin show and got soaked. (I was laughing at my mom because she got drenched. Next thing I know, I'm also sitting there dripping and we're both laughing our heads off.)

It reminded me of how we use to come here every Tuesday, when kids' admissions are free. My dad would even come. Of course, he couldn't make it today because he's sleeping-I mean working-at his office.

That night, my mom made a big production. She had me sit at the table next to my dad (he just randomly showed up. Him: "I wouldn't want to miss my son's birthday!" Me: "What about your work?" Him: "Workshmerk. It's your big day, and, besides, the boss'll understand, he has a son himself." ) with all the lights off. She carried my cake in, the top of it lit up brilliantly with fifteen candles. I blew them out, making one wish: Please, God, protect her. Make her healthy again…like how she is today.

The rest of the night went amazingly well. Eating cake, opening presents, the works. My dad joked around with my mom and me…like a part of the family. It was a big improvement compared to yesterday. For this one night, we **were** the perfect family: my mom and dad held hands, all of us smiling and laughing and enjoying each others' company as we celebrate my birthday. It only comes once a year, you know.

My dad is grinning, squeezing my mom's shoulders. She looks up from where she is sitting and her eyes glisten. It's like in a movie, where the camera does a close up of the hero and the heroin; the heroin blushes as the hero leans down to kiss her. She realizes that she is falling deeply in love with him. They embrace, and the music swells up and the ocean sprays over head. They pull apart, only to fall back into each other's loving arms. That's how my mom and my dad are looking at each other. Usually I think that is terribly cliché, but for once, it makes me feel at ease.

My dad is going to bed, and my mom says that she will join him shortly.

My mom looks at me. The house is dark, and it's really late. The three of us have been sitting here talking for quite some time now. If I blink, I'll fall asleep, considering I got next to no sleep last night. But I will stay here with her.

"Did you have a good birthday, Roxas?"

"Yeah," I sighed happily.

My mom looked at her wedding ring, her hair falling in-between her fingers. "I think things are going to get better. We can start over, we can be a real family." She wiggled her fingers at me. "What do you think?"

"I think you're right."

She stood up. "I'm going to bed. And you should too. You look like a zombie." She giggled. "And you have school tomorrow."

"Ok, good night."

"Good night, sweet dreams."

She walked out of the kitchen only to stick her head back in the doorway. "I love you."

"I love you, too, mom."

And we smiled genuine smiles and we each fell into our beds to sleep soundly, deeply, and my dad hugged my mom and my mom hugged my dad and everything was going to be ok. Everything was great: Naminé's my perfect, caring girlfriend, Hayner's (just) my loyal, best friend, Pence and Olette are always there for me, my dad has gone from workaholic to perfect father/husband, and my mom is her lively, cheerful self. How could it get any better?


	3. Options

"We've got spirit, yes we do! We're got spirit, how 'bout you?"

Stupid repetitive cheerleaders.

It's the Friday after my birthday and, you guessed it, homecoming. Its only the last week of September and we're being forced to watch cheerleaders do cartwheels in too short skirts and tight shirts. All the students are packed on the cold, hard metal bleachers like sardines while the teachers get the liberty of having their own chairs down below on the gym floor. I am crushed in-between Hayner and Olette, our legs involuntarily pressed against whoever is next to us. Pence is sitting next to Olette to the right of me, although I can barely see him. I would be sitting next to Naminé, but I am going to be spending half the day with her anyway. That is the only good thing about homecoming: we get half the day off.

I've been avoiding Hayner all week successfully until today. Olette dragged me over to where they were sitting, and now I felt more than a little awkward.

I ignored it, cranning my neck over the tall kids sitting in front of me while our school counselor exclaimed about how _great_ this year is going to be.

I finally found Naminé: she was sitting on the bottom row, next to her twin sister, Kairi, and two boys I don't know.

A pang of vicious jealousy hit me in the chest as Naminé laughed at something the brown-haired boy said. I told myself to stop getting jealous over nothing, and tried to focus on our principal, who now had the floor.

"Welcome freshman!" she yelled.

Hayner and I yelled the loudest, whistling and cheering with the rest of our class.

"Welcome back sophomores!"

More cheers; some idiot yelled "Class of 2012 forever!"

"Welcome back juniors! And, of course, welcome back seniors!"

Naturally, the loudest cheers accompanied that.

"God, this is so boring!" Hayner mouthed to me.

I nodded, trying to get a good glimpse of the two boys sitting with Naminé.

Hayner clapped his hands not an inch away from my face, causing me to jump and bang my knees into the kid in front of me. The kid shot me a dirty look while I glared at Hayner.

"What time is it?" Hayner asked for the second time, apparently.

I shrugged after checking my pockets for my cell phone with no results. I tapped Olette, who had a cell phone on her, and it turned out that we only had half an hour of this hell to endure.

The thirty minutes slowly ticked by….different sport teams talked….staff games were played…..but eventually the bell signaled the start of our freedom.

I pushed through the moving crowd to see Naminé, Kairi, and the two boys. I nudged my way through a group of girls and walked up to where the four were standing.

Naminé pulled away from them before I got there; I managed to get a glance at the boys.

The shorter of the two had spiky brown hair and a goofy look on his face. I have never seen him before. As I watched, he put his hands behind his head, smirking. The other boy is obviously older. I know him, in a way. He is a really popular sophomore that all the girls swoon over. (Why is Naminé hanging out with him?) He has straight, silver hair that falls to his shoulders and he is, for some reason, considered to be the hottest guy in school. For some reason. I mean, what is he, maturely gray? What's his name?...It starts with an "r" I think….Arg, I can't remember.

Naminé stood in front of me, obscuring my view of them.

"Hi," she smiled.

"Hi."

She moved to my side, and, for a second, I can see her sister and the boys fleetingly look in our direction.

I grabbed her hand, making her eyes widen in surprise. But that passed, and instead her lips curved upward in a pleased smile.

"To the carnival awwwwwwwwway!"

Who said that?

"They're coming too, but we won't hang out with them, I promise," Naminé whispered in my ear. Kairi and the boys were behind us.

"Who—?"

"My sister and her friends. C'mon."

She pulled me along, so that we were ahead of them.

We entered the carnival. It was pretty small….they had a ferris wheel, a few booths set up on either side of the dirt road, and a lot of food.

Naminé and I walked around for a little while, unsure of what to do and just happy looking at everything.

I stopped at a booth, Milkbottles, where no one was except for the bored attendee who was scratching the stubble on his chin and yawning. The object of the game was pretty simple: throw a tennis ball and knock over the small pyramid of glass bottles. The prizes on the wall were all stuffed animals…on the very top was a giant panda.

"…that's what he said," Naminé finished telling her story.

I walked up to the booth, her trailing behind me.

"What's this, Roxas?" she blinked.

"One game, please," I spoke up, making the man glance up dully and amble towards us. I set a dollar on the wooden counter, and he gave me three tennis balls.

"If you knock them all down with one ball, you can pick any prize; if you do it In two, you can pick from the middle or bottom rack; if you hit it in three, you can pick from the bottom rack." The man explained monotonously.

I squinted, gripping the ball in my hand. One shot, that's it. I concentrated for a moment, everything else disappearing; all that existed was the weight of the ball in my hand, the three bottles forming a shiny triangle, and the space in-between the two. I stretched my arm back, my muscles tensing up, and threw the ball. It zoomed through the air, arching slightly to crash into the bottles. Each one of them tipped and clattered to the floor.

I grinned, turning to Naminé.

My grin vanished as quickly as it had come.

"Roxas!" Naminé was screaming. The man was grabbing her arm, his other hand feeling up her back and down the front of her shirt. Naminé was absolutely terrified, screaming at me, as she frantically tried to push the guy off her.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had the second ball in my hands and was chucking it straight at the pervert's face.

The man let go of her, stepping back, angrily gripping his bloody nose.

I wrapped my arms around Naminé as she trembled.

"You little punk—" the man growled.

"Keep your fu–"

"Roxas, please don't," Naminé whispered to me.

I continued to glare at the man. "How could you have the nerve to abuse her like that in public? Keep your grubby hands off her, you pervert!"

Naminé looked up from my shoulder and into my eyes; her own eyes were glistening and sparkling from her tears. "Roxas, it's okay….I'm fine….."

I wrapped my arms tighter around her, my blood still boiling. "If anyone _ever_ touches you like that again—" I stopped. "I'm calling the cops."

The man held his hands up at that. "I'm sorry. God…" He gestured to the prizes. "Pick one."

"You can't buy me, or whatever you're trying to do," I growled.

"I am not trying to buy you…." The man grinned suddenly. "Although I'd pay a good amount of money for your girlfriend."

I clenched my teeth and was about to lash out at the man, but Naminé got there first. She untangled herself from me, and slapped the man in the face, leaving a large red mark on his cheek.

She stepped back, seeming pleased with herself as the man groaned. "I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. "It was just a joke!"

"Shut your mouth." I nodded towards the panda after Naminé prompted me to.

Grumbling, he set the giant panda on the counter and disappeared.

I picked it up, giving it to Naminé. "Are you ok?"

She hugged it, already smiling. "Yeah. Thank you!"

I smiled weakly at her, glad that the pervert was gone at least.

We continued to walk. "We can leave now, if you want to," I said.

She shook her head. "No, it's ok, really."

I clenched my fists. "I just felt so helpless and that guy…."

"No, Roxas, if it wasn't for you, it probably would've been a lot worse."

"Maybe." I gave her a sincere smile. "You're the one who slapped him."

She laughed, taking my hand. "You almost started cussing him out."

"Yeah….even though cussing is a vulgar thing."

"You know," she said suddenly, "how come I get a present when it's _your _birthday?"

"How'd you know that?" I asked.

"I have spies," she beamed.

"Oh really?" I said amused.

"Your birthday was Sunday, right?"

I nodded.

She swung our hands contentedly. "I'm sorry I missed it, my parents and I were shopping all weekend."

"It's ok."

"I have a surprise for you, so we have to leave early!"

"Ok," I said, amusement still showing through my voice.

She bumped my shoulder. "One last thing?"

"Sure."

"How about the ferris wheel?"

I turned to her. "Have you been on one before?"

"No, but it looks like fun."

"It…goes up pretty high…."

"That's the best part."

She squeezed my hand, dragging me towards the giant wheel before I could say anything else.

I found myself sitting next to her in one of the chairs. The chair was pretty small; thankfully she had left the panda with the attendant.

The ferris wheel started up, and we jerked forward. It was a slow moving ride, so maybe I could handle it. We started rising-oh god-higher and higher until I peeked out and saw ant-sized people.

My head spun wildly and my heart threatened to rip itself out of my chest. I gasped, burying my head in my knees.

Naminé, turning from where she had been marveling the view, tapped my shoulder tentatively. It was her turn to ask me if I was ok.

"I'm afraid of heights," I moaned.

"What?"

"I…." I took a few deep breathes as we started to cruise back towards the ground.

"You're afraid of heights?" I heard Naminé giggle. "I never knew my little Roxie—"

The ride stopped and I jumped off. I wanted to be mad at her, but I just couldn't. She had made fun of me, yes, and she had used that stupid nickname but now she was back to hugging that panda to her chest, her arms across its stomach, looking innocently at me. She apologized, saying that she hadn't known.

"Well now you know," I muttered.

"Why did you go on in the first place?" she asked. "I would've gone by myself."

I shrugged, not saying anything, even though I knew that the reason I went with her was so that I wouldn't look like a coward. _That_ worked amazingly well, huh?

"Look at the bright side: you'll know what your surprise is soon!" she continued.

We left the carnival and walked to her house, which was only a few blocks away.

The door swung open and revealed the front of her house; all the walls were painted white, and the floors were either a shiny oak or a plush dusty-red carpet. Immediately facing us were the stairs.

Naminé led me to the living room, which was to the left.

Her living room was large and cozy. She had a plasma screen TV on the wall, with laz-e-boy couches in front of it, and, in one corner, a fireplace, and, in the other corner, a grand piano. I am so jealous of that piano…I have a dinky piano keyboard in my guest bedroom and that's it…

Kairi and some boy were sitting on the couch. They jumped a little at the sight of us, and guiltily said hello.

"Hi Roxas. This is Sora," Kairi introduced.

Sora grinned. "We went to the carnival together. Kind of."

So that's who that was.

The two of them continued to make lovey-dovey faces at each other until Naminé cleared her throat loudly. Kairi stood up, grabbing Sora's hand and glaring at her sister before leaving.

"Where's my surprise?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"It's going to take a little while. Stay here while I get ready, ok? Feel free to…" She waved her hand at the TV, and the piano.

"Ok."

She left the room, repeating 'stay' sternly.

The fireplace was covered with picture frames….the pictures were mostly of people I don't know. One had Naminé and Kairi standing shoulder-to-shoulder, their hips jutted out and their tongues stuck out at the camera. It looks like they're at the bay; their hair is obviously being blown all over the place, and their matching sunglasses reflect the beating sun.

I sat at the piano, playing some chords lightly with my fingers. I began to play Beethoven's 'Moonlight Sonata.'

"That sounds good, Roxas!" Naminé called a few minutes later.

I smiled, hitting the last chord. I started to play a jazz song I know by heart, 'Autumn Leaves.' My mind was peacefully blank as my fingers found the correct keys. My parents made me take piano lessons when I was six, which I ended up taking for two years, and I stuck with it. There is something so calming about music…I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the way you can lose yourself within the notes, or maybe it's just something you can do to get your mind off things that are worrying you. I am a mediocre piano player, although what I really want to play is the guitar. That would—

I abruptly stopped playing. The room smelled of smoke. "Naminé?"

"Oh no!" I heard her exclaim.

"Naminé?" I stood up uncertainly.

She appeared in the doorway, wringing oven mitts in her hands. "I…..kind of….." she coughed hastily. Then she beckoned to me.

I followed her to the kitchen, which was located in a large L-shape counter: a microwave, a refrigerator, an oven. Nothing _seemed_ out of the ordinary.

But as Naminé opened the door to the oven, gray smoke billowed out, engulfing our faces and filling our noses with a horrible burnt, dead smell.

"What's in there?" I asked, my eyes burning and tearing up.

"Your cake. What did I do?" she asked helplessly, bowing her head.

There was evidence of her cooking all over the kitchen…bowls, measuring cups, spices, stains, and pans scattered everywhere. A box of sea-salt ice cream sat next to the microwave, condensation sliding down the cardboard container as it melted.

I took the oven mitts from Naminé, took a deep breath, and shoved my hands into the smoke. I felt the metal cake-pan and quickly grabbed it and pulled it out to set it on the oven top.

I left the oven door open so the smoke could clear out.

The cake was ruined. It was a charcoal black color and it reeked.

"Whoops," Naminé said after we had looked down at it for a few seconds. "I was trying to make you a birthday cake…it was going to be a sea-salt ice cream cake….."

"How long did you leave it in there?"

"Um, too long?" she guessed. Now there was a hint of humor in her eyes.

I poked the cake. It was as hard as a hockey puck.

"I totally killed it."

"Well….yeah you did," I admitted.

"And dinner, uh…."

She pointed to the trash can, where there was a pile of unidentifiable food. "I could have helped you," I muttered.

"I know, but I wanted to."

"You really didn't have to…."

"What kind of girlfriend would I be to not do something for your birthday?"

"That would be frightening! The horror, Naminé didn't do something extravagant for my birthday, so she must've forgotten about it!" I exclaimed, overly dramatic and sarcastic.

She giggled.

I laughed with her. "But really, you could've just said 'Happy birthday, Roxas!' and that would've been good enough."

"I was just going to get you a present, but where's the fun in that?"

"That sounds fun."

She shot me a look. "I guess we'll have to figure out something else to eat."

The door burst open as Kairi and Sora, laughing and out of breath, entered.

"Nami, you have to watch this movie with us!" Kairi exclaimed.

"It's hilarious!" Sora chimed in.

"Oh, sure," Naminé said quietly. "I'll meet you guys there, ok?"

They left.

"If you want, we can watch that movie with them," she suggested.

I agreed.

The dinner was uneventful (we ordered pizza) and the movie was comical (verrry bad voice dubbing). I have to admit, though, that I spent most of my time watching Kairi and Sora; they were always laughing about something, and they were really loud and distracting. Sora would tell a bad joke, Kairi would howl with laughter, Naminé would smile, I would grimace. I would say that they were trying too hard to be the "perfect couple" but I think that they were just being themselves. They were both very nice to me, and they made me feel like I belonged here. (Although by the time I left, I had Sora's annoying voice echoing unendingly throughout my skull.)

Naminé and Kairi may be twins, but they are polar opposites. Kairi is the loud, bubbly, social one while Naminé is the quiet, sweet, down-to-earth one. I'd pick Naminé any day.

I went home around nine. My mom was sitting on her favorite chair, sipping tea and staring out the window.

"How was your day?" she asked.

"Good. Yours?"

"Pretty well." She looked up at me. "Is something bothering you?

XxXxX

I hated the words pouring out of my mouth; I spoke with spite and venom, telling her about how Hayner had kissed me when he was drunk. I hadn't said anything until now, but I knew that it was only a matter of time. My mom had been watching me carefully all week, so it was obvious she knew something was up. She must've decided that it had been long enough. She was the only person I trusted enough because we always talked, and she encouraged it. She knew that Hayner drank and, although she disapproved, she let us remain friends as long as I didn't pick up that particular habit.

She listened to me patiently and, when I was done, she silently made me hot chocolate. "Mom," I said after she set it in front of me. "It's too warm in here for that."

The house was baking in contrast to the chill outside.

"Is it?" she asked. "Your father likes it warm."

I sipped the drink anyway, steam engulfing my face and a hint of cinnamon sliding down my throat. My mom was wearing a black turtleneck and sweats despite the perspiration on her forehead.

"Is he even home?"

"Yes, he's asleep upstairs."

I got up and reached for the thermostat. "He won't mind."

My mom grabbed my wrist. "No!...I mean, I like how warm it is."

"But you're sweating."

"I'm fine. Sweating releases toxins."

"You could at least put on something other than a turtleneck before you die of heatstroke."

"No, no, no, I love this old thing."

"Um, ok."

She had me sit back down at the table. "What are you going to do about Hayner?"

"I don't know. "

"You can't keep avoiding him, Roxas."

"I know," I sighed. "I'll talk to him on Monday I guess…."

"Good."

"I can't believe he did that, that freaking—"

"Roxas, promise me you won't get in a fight with him."

I made a face at her.

"Promise."

I sighed. "Fine. Although he deserves it. Getting drunk all the time and making me look after him, and besides, he is always being a jerk to Naminé."

"I know, but forgive and forget, remember?"

"Sure."

"Are you and Naminé still going strong?"

"Yeah I guess."

"That's good," she smiled. "You know, maybe it'd be a good idea if you kept a journal."

"What?"

"To let your feelings out. Not that you don't show your feelings, but it would be better for you to write instead of yell."

"Huh." I kept my face stoic, not letting it show that I thought it sounded stupid.

"Just an idea." She twirled her hair around her finger. "Your dad was offered a job in Baltimore."

"Ok."

"It has good pay, much better than his job now."

I narrowed my eyes. "So?"

"We have been…_considering_ this option."

"Moving?"

"Yes."

I took a gulp of hot chocolate. "I don't want to."

"I know, Roxas, but everything would be so much easier. We could get a nicer house….to be honest, we have already been looking at houses."

"What? Without telling me?"

"That's why I'm telling you now."

"We can't move! What about Naminé and my friends?"

She rubbed my shoulders. "Relax, we haven't decided yet." She stood up. "I'm going to bed."

"Good night," I said sulkily.

She paused at the doorway, her back to me and her body as still as a statue. "You know that I'll love you no matter what?"

"Yeah..."

She turned her head towards me, her hair swishing around her face. "And that I will always support you?"

"Mom, you're acting weird," I said uncertainly. Her voice was somber and quiet, while she looked at me steadily.

"I'm rubber, you're glue," she smiled teasingly.

That was better. "You're so amazing, you should be president," I smirked.

She laughed for a second. "But, seriously," she added, "you can't let other people effect your decisions. It's _your_ life. You know what I'm saying?"

"Not really, no."

"Just think about it. Sleep well."

"You too."

After she left, I finished my hot chocolate and went to my room, pretending that she hadn't mentioned anything about moving or...decisions? I closed the door behind me and just stood there, looking at my room for a moment. The walls are white. Directly facing the door is a window with blue curtains; to the right is my twin sized bed where my blankets are sewn and twisted. To the left is a desk and a dresser. The floor is covered with a blue carpet that matches the curtains, a result of my mom's impulsive, eccentric shopping. My room is surprising clean, considering that most guys' rooms are hazardous to one's health…..like Hayner's room….

I have to stop thinking about him, because every time his name slips into my head, I find myself clenching my teeth until they hurt. Maybe if I write about it, I'll get it off my mind. I guess it's worth a try.

I opened up a word document, staring at the blinking cursor.

September 28th, 2009

If Hayner wasn't such an idiot,

This is stupid. I turned my computer off and went to bed.

XxXxX

What was I doing alone in Hayner's car?

I sat in the passenger seat, the harsh sunlight burning my skin. And yet it was freezing outside; I rubbed my mittens together and wished that I was wearing more than a thin hoodie.

I glanced over and saw Hayner's car keys laying on the driver's seat. I snatched them up, turned on the car, and cranked the heat.

As the hot air rolled over me, I looked out the window, shoving my backpack on the floor in-between my feet. The sky was a violent shade of gray and a few scattered students walked through the parking lot. Suddenly, snow began to fall, drifting down from the heavens. The flakes were few and spread out, but they managed to make our ugly, brick school look more appealing. It was the first snow of the year, which isn't very exciting when you live in the mountain region of Montana. Some people glanced up. Their faces did not show glee, or excitement. They were not the faces of hopeful children wishing to build snowmen or snow angels. Their faces were of teenagers; they said 'Snow? Who cares? Seen that, done that. I am an adult, not an immature child.'

As if. Everyone in my school might think otherwise, but they were just kidding themselves if they thought that they were ready to live on their own, if they felt like they had to act a certain way to make others accept them. That's what I miss about elementary school…..no one felt obliged to dress, act, and talk like the most popular boy/girl in school.

I sat back, sighing. I'm tired of waiting. After school, Hayner found me, saying, "Can you wait for me at my car? It's in the student parking lot….um, I'll meet you there in a sec." I got cold, and the car was unlocked, so that's why I was sitting here. I've been waiting for fifteen minutes now.

The door creaked open and suddenly Hayner was there.

He took me back to Cerulean Lake; we didn't say anything. He got out and I followed him. We sat on two rocks on the shore, the wind whipping our faces and snow slowly gathering in our hair.

"You wanted to talk?" he asked.

"…yeah," I muttered.

I played with the bracelet he'd given me, out of habit, as he waited. "You know when we went to Shelbyville?" I forced myself to ask.

"Yeah…" Hayner was obviously wondering where I was going with this.

"You kissed me," I said, point blank.

"I did?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you were drunk and climbed into bed with me."

"Shit, no wonder you've been acting weird lately. I guess now I have to apologize for that…although I wish I could remember that kiss….how was it?"

That's it. I threw a rock at his face and he ducked.

"I was kidding!" he exclaimed as I continued to chuck rocks at him. He dodged each one. "Are you mad?"

"Yeah, I just realized that my best friend is a gay pervert!" I yelled, not thinking clearly.

"Sorry…..sorry!" he yelped as a handful of ice-cold water hit him. He started shivering. I felt better.

Eventually I was done blowing off steam and I sat back down.

"So you know how I feel?" he asked after a while.

"I guess." I looked away.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You're the best friend I've ever had."

"Same here….or at least, that's what I would have said a week ago."

He chose to pretend that I didn't say that. "And I don't want to screw it up over something like this. I should've told you…"

"That would've been nice," I muttered darkly.

"You always get sarcastic when you're pissed." He crossed his arms. "I'm sorry, ok? I obviously didn't know what I was doing."

I shrugged.

"I have….liked you for quite some time now," he said and I looked away, unable to meet his gaze.

"And I was going to tell you," he continued, "but you started dating Naminé, and things got complicated. I know that it was a stupid thing to do, and that you can choose to date whoever you want."

I couldn't think of what to say; my blood was boiling, and I was feeling really embarrassed and awkward. Like I was having a dream where I go to school naked…or something like that…I guess I was mad more than anything else, but I had promised not to pick a fight. "Umm….wow…." I took a deep breath. "You're my best friend, and I'd like to keep it that way."

Hayner threw a rock into the water, and the water almost splashed us. "I figured as much. You must really like Naminé."

I nodded.

"Maybe we should go…" he suggested after a moment of silence.

He drove me home. He acted the same around me, if somewhat more reserved. I don't know about him, but I felt weird and I kept wishing that someone else was with us. I guess, in a way, I felt violated. I think anyone would, especially since he kissed me….at least that was an accident…..

XxXxX

About a week later, I sat on my bed, listening to my dad scream. I pressed the headphones closer to my eardrums, and turned the volume all the way up until all I could hear was drums and electric guitar….

My dad's voice grew louder. "What use are you?" he screamed.

I didn't wish for this, I didn't wish for this. I closed my eyes, my hands over my headphones, over my ears.

My parents had been arguing more lately…..well, it was more like a one-sided argument, with my dad freaking out about a missed call from a client or a dirty house. It seemed that he would get mad if I even glanced at him.

I opened my eyes. It was worse than usual today; my dad's voice was an angry crescendo, rising and rising and threatening to break all the glass in the house.

A message from Hayner popped up on my computer screen; I had continued to successfully avoid him for the past week. I probably should forgive him….but not right now.

I stood up, grabbing my favorite black hoodie from where it was draped over my chair and pulling it over my head. I undid the switch on my window, and slipped beneath the gap to land in a bed of grass.

I began to jog away from my house. My breath came out in little white puffs in the cold air; the sun was starting to set. It felt great to be outside, instead of being behind a desk or cooped up in my room. I hadn't been running since cross country last year…I never realized how much I missed it.

I got into the rhythm of it, each footfall timed perfectly. My hand slipped into my pocket and I turned my music down, my thumb rubbing against the smooth back of my iPod. I lengthened my stride, my heart and lungs straining to keep up.

I glanced around. All the houses were at least two-stories tall, with double garages, balconies, and swimming pools. Huh?...wait a second, is this Naminé's street?

It was. I spotted her house a block down.

I found myself turning my iPod off and knocking on the door. I rasped my knuckles against it again and again, and I rang the doorbell repeatedly. No response.

I opened the door cautiously, calling, "Hellooooo? Naminé?"

I stepped into the entryway, closing the door softly behind me, my fingers tingled in the warm air. "Hello?" I called again. The lights were on, but there was no sign of anyone.

I was about to leave when I heard giggling. My first thought was that it was Naminé and Kairi, trying to hide from me.

It seemed to be coming from upstairs, so I walked up into a hallway, the voices growing louder.

I stopped and observed a door suspiciously.

Laughter…then, "Stop it! She'll see us!"

"No, she won't," someone purred.

"But this is her house!" The first person laughed nervously.

"Oh well."

More laughter. "When you put it _that _way."

I don't know what I was doing, but all of a sudden, I yanked the door open. Why? I don't know….I knew it wasn't Naminé, so it really was none of my business.

A silver-haired boy had Sora pressed against the wall as they made out. They jumped at the sight of me; the boy banged his knee against the wall and they quickly pulled apart.

"Oh, hi, Roxas," Sora said cheerfully. "This is Riku."

Riku coughed. He was the boy I had "met" the day of the carnival.

"Um," Sora said as I stared. He tilted his head to the side and smiled guiltily. "Could you not mention this to Kairi?"

I nodded abruptly, taking this as a cue to close the door and walk away.

Downstairs, Kairi opened the glass sliding door in the kitchen and walked inside; the whole front of her shirt was wet.

"Hi Roxas," she beamed, taking her shoes off and closing the door. It was getting dark outside. "I was just watering the garden."

She took a gallon of milk out of the refrigerator and offered me some; I reclined. She poured herself a glass.

"Naminé isn't home," she said. "She's out camping with my parents."

Oh yeah. She told me that.

"You can stay and play foosball with Sora, Riku, and me, if you want."

"Uh, no, I should be getting home," I forced myself to say.

"Ok. See ya."

She disappeared.

I made myself scarce as well.

I jogged the way back to my house, taking my time.

By the time I arrived back home, I was exhauted. I sneaked back into my room and collapsed onto my bed.

I woke up to the sounds of unfamiliar men.


	4. Emergency

Huh? What's going on?

I opened my eyes and for a moment I just kept laying there, my mind fuzzy and my body trying to pull me back under. I wasn't sure what had woke me up, so I simply rolled over, pulling the covers up further. I resettled and was about to go back to sleep when something stopped me. My room itself was empty, but I could hear several people walking around the house, their shoes clanking on the floor, their voices gruff and serious.

"Let's talk outside for a moment, Mr. Peyton," I heard a man say.

At that, I clambered out of bed, untangling the sheets from my legs, my fatigue vanishing. I had a very bad feeling about this…

I was in the hall the next second. I could see the shadows of people outside, the shortest of them obviously being my dad. I found myself rooted to the floor, right in the middle of the living room. An odd, fearful feeling ripped through me, a feeling I didn't like at all. The TV was flashing, showing the aggression of football players as the announcer exclaimed things I couldn't focus on; everything suddenly looked twisted and cruel…like the very walls were pressing in on me, tighter and tighter…I can't breathe...I forced a breath down my throat, a part of me already knowing...

I searched the house, but no one seemed to be inside.

My bare feet slapped the floor as I inched towards my parents' room; the door was ajar, so I slipped inside.

All the shades were up, leaving the room bright and open. My mom laid asleep in bed, the blankets pulled up to her chin.

"Mom?" I whispered. I stood next to the bed, tapping her shoulder.

Her skin was gray, and she was stone cold. A horrible choking feeling gripped my heart. It can't be—

"Mom?" I shook her harder. And harder. No response.

My lungs felt like they were closing, my heart felt like it had stopped abruptly. Hopelessness….despair…..desperation….none of it compares. If her eyes don't open…

"Mom? Wake up! Mom, you have to wake up!"

I was screaming, but I didn't realize it at the time. There were no tears in my eyes, instead there was a disease sprouting in my throat and spreading throughout my body; it burnt through cells and tissues, letting the pain envelope me completely and leaving me frozen.

I shook her shoulders, her head bobbing lifelessly and her hair falling around her, which made her look like a doll, and nothing more. Still, no response.

Someone was grabbing me, telling me to calm down. I threw the person off of me.

It was a guy wearing a blue collared shirt. He looked at me sadly, and kind of awkwardly.

My dad was behind him. "Could you go wait in your room, Roxas?"

He looked as shaken as I felt—he was pale and sweat dotted his face.

"Is she…is she…?" I heard myself asking.

The man nodded. "She's dead."

It didn't seem real until he spoke those two words, those two, evil words that were like a death sentence.

They were all I needed.

I ran to my room, slamming the door behind me, and dropping to the floor, sobbing. How could this happen? She's only forty-two! How could she leave me here alone?

I cried until my eyes and throat were raw. I heard the men carrying her out; it sounded like they dropped her. I heard my dad crying along with me. I heard everything.

No matter how hard I tried, my chest ached and I felt like I was dying. Music, TV, video games, nothing worked. My mind wouldn't go blank; all I could think about is the fact that I will never see my mom again. I will never talk to her again, I will never confide in her again, I will never watch horror movies with her again, I will never see her again. _I…will...never…see…her…again…_

I went to bed that night with emptiness gnawing at my stomach…I hadn't eaten all day…

I was so drained and worn out, that the second my head hit my pillow, I was out. For that, I am eternally grateful.

I woke up around eight the next day. It was pouring outside, and I was home alone.

It's Monday, I thought numbly. School…

I made a big breakfast: pancakes, eggs, sausage—just to have something to do. I barely ate it.

I turned on the TV, but there was a commercial on for my mom's favorite soap opera, I'm Always There. I was crying.

I picked up a book, but she had left a receipt in it where she had scribbled "Buy milk." I was crying.

There was no refugee. The pictures, the furniture, the walls, the very air reminded me of her. Memories became chains, "I love you"s became tears.

I got up, looking for something to do. The laundry was starting to pile up…

I lost myself in a mountain of clothes. Pick an article of clothing up, decide whether it's light or dark, sort it, repeat. My hands knew what to do, and for once my mind was empty as I concentrated on nothing but laundry. Mindless chores was better than thinking about her. About how much she means to me and—

Pick an article of clothing up, decide whether it's light or dark, sort it, repeat, repeat, repeat. I found myself staring down at my mom's faded tie-dye shirt. I was twisting the fabric tighter and tighter around my wrist, my fingers turning blue. I forced the tears away even as they rose in my eyes.

"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HERE?" I screamed, throwing the shirt at the wall and slumping against the washing machine. "How…how…" I wept.

I picked myself up, and threw the dark pile into the washing machine, starting the first load.

I left because doing laundry was definitely a bad idea. I glanced around our small house. I could do the dishes, mop, sweep, or vacuum. I started with the dishes although my list just kept stacking up. I would clean something, just to find three more things that needed to get done. It wasn't exactly relaxing, or happy, or sad, or much of anything…it was just dull work I was doing so that I wouldn't have to think about..._anything_.

I saw my dad's feet from where I was on my knees, scrubbing the kitchen floor.

"Roxas," he said. "Let's go out and eat."

I scrubbed harder, trying to get a single spot to disappear. My arm was cramping up as I rubbed up and down repeatedly, with such fraught, and such a frantic rhythm, that it hurt.

"Your mother wouldn't like seeing you like this."

Must get the spot out, must get the spot out. No one's home yet, it's just me.

"You have to go back to school sometime."

"It's been one day," I muttered. I gripped the sponge harder, making soapy water squirt out in little gushes.

"We need to talk."

Shut up. The spot was finally out, so I dipped the sponge back into the bucket of water and began swiping at another tile.

"Look at me."

I glared up at him. "I'm not done cleaning. Go away, you're making the floor dirty."

He sighed. I expected him to yell, or to grab the sponge out of my hands, but instead he just left to go watch the news.

Peace and quiet. I kept tidying up until around ten o' clock, when I crashed, exhausted.

The next day was no better. Nor the next.

I'd cry my eyes out, clean, and sleep. That's it. On the fourth day since my mom's death, my dad came home late at night to find me curled up in a ball on the couch, tears and snot running down my face.

His face darkened, and he frowned harshly, meaning he was pissed."Roxas, you have to stop. You're stronger than that," he said, with a hint of scorn in his voice.

I blinked at him, uncaring.

"You _will_ get out of this. Now go make me supper," he demanded.

I stood up, wiping my nose off on my sleeve. My sleeve was now slimy. Ew. I grabbed a box of Hamburger Helper, and set out all the ingredients. I defrosted the meat and dumped it in a skillet. Soon it was sizzling, the smell drifting up to me. It was surprisingly unappetizing….then again, I hadn't had much of an appetite since…

I began chopping it with a spatula. Then I drained it, adding the rest of the ingredients. My mom and I would spend a lot of time here in the kitchen, baking pretty much anything.

I put a piece of pasta in my mouth before I could start crying. It tasted fine, although I slipped in a special ingredient, just for my dad…coughlaxativecough.

I gave it to him and he immediately asked if I was going to eat any.

Nope; I was going to bed.

XxXxX

About a month passed. My dad gave up on trying to get me to go to school. My life had become a cycle: sleep, eat, clean, lie around. One bitterly cold day, I climbed out of bed and went to the living room. The light was slanting in through the windows, landing on the large pile of homework I am suppose to be working through. I closed the curtains, locked the front door and started flipping through a magazine. I had turned my cell phone off; it had been off for a long while. I couldn't stand the constant ringing. That's also why I locked the front door… I could pretend that I wasn't home, so that my friends would stop coming. They were persistent, but I had managed to avoid talking to them this entire time. The same goes with my dad…the bare minimum, routine stuff only.

So when the doorbell rang, I ignored it. It kept ringing the same mindless tune, making a headache split across my temple.

"Go away," I groaned, setting my magazine down.

I peeked through the curtains to see two men standing there wearing black suits and glancing at their watches impatiently.

I uncertainly opened the door. They looked up at me, the taller of the two clearing his throat. "Roxas Peyton? May we come in?"

"Um, who—"

"We need to ask you some questions."

I let them inside, and we sat around the table. I got the feeling that they were from the government, and I immediately thought, "what'd dad do this time?"

I stood up, suddenly nervous."Would you like coffee or something to drink?" I offered.

They shook their heads. "Sit."

I did so, uneasy.

"Mr. Peyton, the autopsy results on your mother were just completed. She died from a heart attack."

"Oh…so, it wasn't…painful?"

"She died peacefully. Although the doctors found some rather odd things. Do you have any idea of what these things might be?"

I shook my head.

"There were bruises and cuts all over her body, and she suffered from some internal bleeding. The bruises and cuts were only located in places that could be hidden by clothing, which suggests that this was done on purpose."

I hated the way he said that, so nonchalant and uncaring, like my mom was a piece of furniture, not a person. I bit that away as they slid pictures over to me. The pictures showed…..these horrible things…one bruise, on her back, was larger than my fist and had an appalling green tinge to it.

I shoved the pictures back towards them, my stomach warning me to stop looking. It tossed and turned, so I took a few slow breathes to try to calm down.

"We'll cut to the chase. Do you know how she received these contusions?"

"No." My voice was shaking.

"Do you know of anyone who might have done this?"

"…no."

"Was she acting differently in the last month or so?"

"Er, yeah, I guess."

"In what ways?"

"She became quiet and…withdrawn and sad."

"Why do you think these changes occurred?"

"I don't know…it seemed to have started after my grandma Shelley died."

"I see…have you considered the possibility that she was doing things to intentionally harm herself?"

"No!" I paused, regretting my outburst as they stared at me seriously. "...she wouldn't do that."

"Mr. Peyton, we have suspicions that your father is abusive."

"W-What?" I froze.

"Judging by your reaction, you are either surprised or pretending to be surprised."

"I'm not pretending." I clenched my teeth together. "Why would he do such a horrible thing?"

"Many different reasons. Has your father ever harmed you on purpose?"

"No."

"Has he ever touched you inappropriately?"

"No."

"Has his words or actions ever made you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Has he ever harmed Mrs. Peyton on purpose?"

"Not that I've seen."

"Has he ever treated her unfairly, or different compared to others?"

"…yeah."

"In what ways?"

"He would yell at her a lot over the stupidest things."

"Like?"

"Like overcooked chicken or for forgetting to pay the water bill, or for spending too much money. Things like that, especially if it was work-related," I listed rapidly, exasperated. These people don't know what they are talking about. Even if my dad wasn't perfect, I know he would never lay a finger on my mom. Never.

"Do you think he could have been the one to have harmed Mrs. Peyton?"

"Um, I don't know. I wouldn't put anything past him, but he's not capable of—"

"Everyone's capable, Mr. Peyton."

"Ok," I said, unsure.

"We will be in touch."

As swiftly as they arrived, they left.

That night, I sat at my laptop, watching YouTube videos. It was something I found that could stop the twirling thoughts in my head. (Whatifhehurther?)

A message popped up on my screen.

Olette: Roxas? Are you there?

I should ignore it. Should.

Roxas: Yeah.

Olette: Where have you been? Everyone's worried sick.

Roxas: Maine.

Olette: Why?

Roxas: Family emergency.

It is easy to lie via Internet.

Suddenly, I heard a female voice.

Roxas: Be right back.

I jumped up, and raced towards the living room: the location of the voice. For some reason, I was expecting to see my mom. See her smiling face, see her eyes light up, feel her give me a giant bear hug, hear her telling me—

Instead I found a woman with neat, brown hair that fell down past her shoulder blades. She had a young, heart-shaped face with soft features. Her eyes were warm and a deep, chocolate color that seemed to shine. Her posture was perfect, and her body language was open and relaxed. The smile on her face was friendly and sincere, although there was something hovering behind it….nervousness? She was rather pretty...she could easily pass as a college student, she was probably twenty-six at the absolute oldest. She was wearing a long-sleeve blue shirt, and a dark blue skirt that started from her left thigh and ruffled down to her right shin. She beamed kindly at me.

My dad has his arm wrapped around her waist.

"Roxas, meet Kelly," he introduced.

My eyes became daggers. "Who's she?"

"Hi Roxas," she said, her voice soothing and gentle. "I'm your dad's secretary—and girlfriend." She leaned towards me, almost protectively. "I know you're going through a rough time right now, but believe me, I understand. In fact, I have a son your age who—"

"You. Don't. Understand. **Anything**!" I yelled. "I can't believe you!"

My dad reached for me; I backed away, tears filling my eyes.

"Stay away from me!" I screamed. I ran away, away from Kelly's motherly aura, her sympathy, her "understanding" and I ran away from my dad's arm snaked around her, from his possible affair (it sure as hell seemed like it!) and from the possibility that he had been hurting my mom.

I locked myself in my room.

"Roxas!" Kelly banged on my door. Not my dad, her. "Let us explain!"

I turned on my stereo, blaring Three Days Grace. Eventually she gave up and left.

Olette: Roxas?

I sighed.

Roxas: What?

Olette: Are you alright?

Roxas: I'm great.

Olette: You seem….different.

Roxas: How?

Olette: I don't know. Are you coming to school tomorrow? Or are you still in Maine?

Roxas: I'm still in Maine. I have to go.

Olette: Ok, bye.

Roxas: Bye.

"Open the door!" my dad commanded once the banging continued.

I ignored him.

"I need to talk to you!" he tried.

"I don't want to talk to you!"

"Open it, or I'll bust it down!"

I unlocked it.

He came into my room, with Kelly trailing behind him.

"Why are you still here?" I sneered at her.

"Don't think I'm replacing your mother," she said, "because I'm not."

"She **died**, in case you didn't get the memo."

"Roxas, don't be upset, but—"

My dad grabbed her hand, intervening. "We've been seeing each other for a while, and I promise that your mother was ok with it."

"Ok with it? How could she be ok with it?" I exploded.

"Yes, we agreed that not all of my needs were being met."

"What, you like younger women? You…you killed her!" I didn't believe that, but it was the best retort I could think of.

My dad blinked, surprised. Then he became furious, the vein in his forehead popping out. "I would never do that! I loved your mother, can't you understand that, you little bastard?"

Kelly grabbed his arm, "Calm down, Oscar. Don't take it out on him."

Somehow, that comforted him, and he stopped himself.

"Did your mother talk to you about Baltimore?"

"Yes," I grumbled. "I like Montana just fine."

"Roxas," he said lightly, trying to make it sound appealing, "Kelly is going to be living with us from now on. Her and her family."

"WHAT?"

"We'll be a family," Kelly said meekly. She started to say something else, but I glared at her, and she shut up.

"We will _never_ be a family!"

I found myself running blindly, throwing the front door open and racing out into the cold air.

How could he do this to me? How can he forget about mom that fast, and get together with some chick named _Kelly_? Kelly is a name for a blonde, scatterbrained woman who lives in California. I don't need a stupid family, all I need is me, myself and I. I'll stay here, and my dad and Kelly can go live in Maryland by themselves. They'd be glad (giddy) to get rid of me. No more Roxas around to mope and eat all the food—hooray. If my mom was here—

Again, I was at Naminé's house. She answered the door, squinting at me through the darkness. "Roxas? Is that you?" she smiled impulsively, already figuring out who it was. I took me hood down, and immediately her face was mangled with alarm. "What's wrong?" she exclaimed.

She let me inside and I, wordlessly, sat down on her kitchen counter. "Want a Dr. Pepper?" she asked.

I shrugged and she gave me one. It was ice cold and the aluminum pressed against my skin.

"Roxas…" she said heavy-heartedly. "Where have you been?"

"Olette didn't tell you?"

"No."

I brushed this conversation aside. Abruptly I said, "I'm moving."

"Wait…what? Where?"

"Baltimore."

"Maryland?"

I nodded.

"That's across the country. A drive from here to there would take days…" she paused. "When are you moving?"

"I don't know when…but for all I know, it could be tonight."

"Why? You can't move," her eyes widened. "Don't go! Maybe I'm being selfish, considering that you have to leave everyone you know behind, but…but…"

I looked away. "Maybe I could stay here for a while."

"Well…yeah, yes, you can stay," she said ambiguously.

"Are you busy?"

"No, it's just—"

My phone rang, cutting her off. I couldn't remember having turned it back on, but I guess I must've. I looked at the screen; my dad was trying to reach me. I wanted to throw my phone out the window, but how would that have looked like to Naminé?

So I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?"

He didn't sound mad at all. Weird.

"At a friend's house," I said.

"Listen, did anyone come over today?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Who?"

"People with the autopsy results." Crap, I didn't want to be saying that in front of Naminé. She already seemed suspicious, and at the word 'autopsy' her eyes widened further.

"Oh…come home, please."

"Is Kelly there with you? Is that why you're being so nice?" I accused him.

"Roxas, we're leaving in the morning."

I gulped. "That…soon?"

"Yes, we already talked to the mortgage company. You need to pack."

"No." I swayed on my feet, and Naminé grabbed my arm to steady me. Too much was changing in a short period of time, and my body nor my mind could handle it. "You can't make me."

"I'm sorry, you have to. It's for the best."

I hate it when adults say stuff like that. "You…how can you be so calm?"

"Come home."

"I told you no."

"I'll come get you."

"You don't know where I am!"

Naminé must have gotten the gist of things, because she uttered softly, "Roxas, it's ok, go."

"I bet he's at Nami's house!" someone yelled. "I'll go get him!"

"N-No, I'm not!"

"See you in a few," my dad said before hanging up.

"You're leaving already?" Naminé asked, melancholy.

I just looked at her for a moment. Her hair was wet and dark, she must have just taken a shower…she had on a blue hoodie, white pajama bottoms, and her feet were bare, showing the clear nail polish that she wore on both her fingernails and her toenails. I knew so much about her: how she was soft-spoken and shy with anyone she didn't know, how she enjoyed watching cartoons just to make fun of them, how she loved her sister to death, how she was often stubborn and persistent. Her favorite color's white, her favorite animals are seals, she loves swimming, reading, and anything artistic. She hates fish, splinters, and hot weather. Even with all that, I want to learn more about her.

I hopped off the counter and hugged her. She wrapped her own arms around me, and, I must admit, I clung to her.

"I don't know what's wrong…but it'll be ok," she whispered.

"I know."

I held her for a while, and she must have known that I didn't want to talk because she was silent. I think I needed her more than she ever realized….since the thought of moving away was unbearable. To not be able to see (my mom) her, even Hayner, Pence, or Olette ever again…I would lose everything. I would rather stay here!...that sounds better than to live with my dad and _Kelly_ in Maryland…even in my head, I think of her name with disdain and contempt.

"Naminé!" I heard Kairi call out.

Naminé let her arms drop. "I'm in the kitchen!"

Kairi appeared. She looked like a mess. She red hair was in disarray, her eyes were puffy and scarlet colored, and she was wearing gray sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt instead of her usual blouse and skirt. "Roxas?" she asked, her voice rugged and hoarse.

"Hi Kairi," I said politely.

"Naminé," she tugged on Naminé's hoodie. "I thought you were just getting more chips…"

"Sorry," Naminé said. "Roxas showed up."

Kairi rubbed her eyes. "You look a lot l-l-like him, Roxas. "

Tears began streaming down her face and she ducked her head, and rushed upstairs, hotfooted.

"Is she ok?" I asked, confused. Naminé was staring at the doorway, as if longing to go and comfort her sister. Knowing her, that is exactly what she wanted to be doing right now. And I was getting in the way of that.

"She'll be fine eventually," Naminé said, distracted. She turned back to me. "When are you leaving?"

"In the morning."

Naminé sighed. She picked up my hand and began to trace the lines in my palm. "You'll live a long life," she said. "And you'll have good luck and fortune…"

"You think?" I laughed darkly.

"Yes, I do think so."

"I have to go soon."

"Yeah…"

I looked down into her eyes; I could see my reflection in them. Her eyes shimmered, either from the kitchen light or from tears. Her face was right there…I bent down and she turned her head up. I pressed my lips gently on hers.

She kissed me back and—

"Brother!"

We broke apart from our split-second kiss to see Sora beaming in the doorway.

"Umm…" I muttered. "What did you just say?"

"I've always wanted a brother!"

It hit me…oh god no. "Kelly…"

"My mom, yep!" His grin vanished as he seemed to realize something. "Nami, is…Kairi around?"

Naminé cocked her head to the side. "Yeah, she's upstairs, crying. I hope you know how heartbroken she is…"

"I…" he scratched his head, guilty. "Can you tell her sorry for me?"

Naminé shrugged.

"Sora?"

Yes, Kairi appeared out of nowhere and was now staring at Sora, a lit cigarette hanging from her mouth.

Sora scratched his head awkwardly. "Hi Kairi."

"Why are you here?"

"They're going to find out that you're smoking," Naminé pointed out.

Kairi inhaled and blew a large puff of smoke towards her; it reeked of tobacco. "I'm waiting for an apology."

"I'm sorry, how many times do I have to say it?" Sora said, slightly exasperated.

Kairi flicked her cigarette, ashes flying towards him. He jumped out of the way just in time. "Get out of here, I don't want to see your lying face anymore," she whimpered. It was obviously that she was trying to act cold and uncaring, but in reality she appeared to be wretched with sadness.

"I'll wait for you outside," Sora said to me. He paused at the doorway. "I really am sorry…"

He left.

Naminé half yanked and half grabbed the cigarette out of Kairi's mouth; she threw it down the garbage disposal, having it whirl down the drain. "Go get the air freshener, Kai."

"Naminé?" I asked once Kairi was gone.

"I'm sorry that I have my hands full putting her back together," she murmured.

"It's ok. I have to—" I paused as Kairi reentered, spraying mist everywhere that smelled like rain. "Go anyway," I finished.

She nodded. "Call me, 'k?"

"I will. Bye."

"Bye."

I walked out of her house for the last time. Last time…thinking that makes the weight in my chest grow heavier and heavier. My legs feel as if they are bound by chains and heavy cinderblocks, but I dragged myself away, forcing myself to not look back. I dragged myself away from Naminé, my old life.

Sora and I walked back to my house. I didn't want to talk whatsoever, although I was forced to ask, "How can you be so happy about this?", after seeing Sora walking light on his feet, with a pleased smile on his face.

"I dunno…" he smiled sheepishly.


	5. Goodbye

A/N: Let it be known that when I say this, I am not addressing all of you...soo...hmm sorry for the all the Namine/Roxas scenes, I suppose. Especially if it made you sick. (That made me laugh so hard!) And hopefully this will make up for it [or at least start to...] Because we all know how awesome Axel is. =)

~KeedaxEmry

I figured out why he was so happy. The next day, Riku showed up at my house with a suitcase in his hand, his face as stoic as always. The U-Haul truck was already half-way filled with Sora and Kelly's belongings and was in the process of being packed up with my dad's stuff and mine. I had spent the morning avoiding everyone while burly men carried our furnisher out; I had packed some clothes and personal belongings into a duffle bag already. After that I sat on the floor near the living room, watching my life being carried away.

"Um, hi," I answered the door, shooting him a confused look.

He looked at me from in-between his bangs, his face bored and uncaring. "Where's Sora?" he asked simply.

I pointed to the kitchen, where Sora was stuffing his face with jellybeans. "Man, your house is great!" he exclaimed. He saw Riku, and grinned harder. Jellybeans sprinkled the floor as he waved towards us enthusiastically.

Kelly walked by, carrying a box larger than her face. "Sora, stop eating that," she said disapprovingly. She disappeared outside, and Sora continued to shove all the colors of the rainbow into his mouth.

Riku cut across me to intertwine his fingers in Sora's unoccupied left hand.

I left before things got too mushy.

"Why is he coming too?" I asked Kelly, who was the first person I found. She stood outside, watching everything and rubbing her arms which were covered in goose bumps from the crisp, cool air.

"He wanted to," she beamed. "He's a very sweet kid, underneath it all."

"O-kkkk."

I went and sat alone in my parents' room, the last place my mom had breathed.

"Mom…I still need you…"

How could I be moving? How could my mom leave me behind? I still haven't talked to Hayner…not to mention Pence and Olette. No one knows that I am moving, besides Naminé…she'll tell them, I'm sure. Naminé. I wanted to cry, but how could I? Not in front of Kelly, Sora, and Riku, they are practically strangers. Annoying, too-cheerful, cock-eyed, vexing, sentimental, deceiving strangers. Or maybe I'm thinking about my dad; he is the one who has betrayed my mom and I. He's burying his old, defective family and buying a new, perfect one. The only problem is that _I'm still here_. He's been ignoring me since yesterday, when I arrived home and he told me to pack. I bet he wishes he could get rid of me, instead of burying the hatchet. That would be too hard, wouldn't it, dad? Because I'm so difficult and uncontrollable, not like _Kelly_. Chirpy, perky, _Kelly, _who you love around the world and back again. Yeah, I heard your stupid, sappy talking. You didn't even say those things to mom, did you? When mom loved you so much that she would deal with your yelling and screaming. And what did you do?...beat her? I swear to god, if what those men said was true, you are going to be sorry. You are going to be sorry that you met _Kelly,_ sorry that you had me for a son, sorry that you never, ever once listened to me.

I burrowed my head in my knees, darkness threatening to consume me.

"WE'RE LEAVING, ROXAS!" Sora yelled.

Already? I walked through all the rooms of the house, running my fingers over the smooth surfaces of the walls. They were all too empty. I did this half in spite (everyone was standing outside, waiting for me) and half because of the fact that we were moving _across the country_ and this place had been my home for almost all my life.

I saved my room for last. I was doing so good up until now, but when I glanced down at the blue carpet, tears welled up in my eyes. My mom…_loved_ this carpet even though I loathed it.

"Blue?" I shrieked at the age of five, when we had first moved into this house and my mom was redecorating everything.

"You don't like it? But it matches your eyes!" my mom tilted her head thoughtfully. "The girls are going to love your eyes."

"Mom! Gross!"

She laughed, rustling my hair.

Hayner ran into the room. "I found you!" he yelled, his voice still high-pitched and childish.

"Oh? Did you already make a new friend?" my mom kneeled down towards him. "Hi little one. What's your name?"

"My name's Hayner! We were playing hide-and-seek, and I win!"

"No! This one don't count!" I screeched. (Now that I think about it, I whined a lot back then.) "Let's play tag!"

Hayner pushed me, and I fell over onto my knees. He didn't know his strength even then. I started crying. "You're it!...What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

My mom used her sleeve to wipe away the tears. "Roxas, you have a guest, no crying."

"But…but…" I wailed.

"Would you two like to help me make cookies?"

I immediately perked up. "Chocolate chip?"

"Yep."

Hayner and I raced after her to the kitchen, Hayner asking if he could just eat the cookie dough.

The blue underneath me was spinning. My stomach churned, acid rising to my throat. Spots hovered in front of my vision-orange, purple, and pink-until they turned black.

XxXxX

"Roxas? Roxas, honey?"

Kelly get away from me, I thought instinctively. I was dimly aware of my surroundings...

"Here." Someone slapped me hard in the face, and my eyes burst open. It was Riku. Everyone was gathered around my sprawled position on the floor.

"Oh, thank god you're ok." Kelly promptly began to sob into my dad's shoulder. He rubbed her back. I scowled.

"Don't worry," my dad said. "He has fainting spells when he's under a lot of emotional stress."

I sat up and Sora yanked me to my feet. "Good job scaring everyone!" he exclaimed.

I was taken aback that they all had come inside to find me, but that did nothing to prevent the detestation and, I will admit, the isolation I felt.

"We have to get going," my dad said.

Outside, we figured out the seating arrangements. I was still looking back at our house when my dad shook my arm. "Roxas, who do you want to ride with?" he asked.

Riku was already unlocking his black truck, and Sora, of course, slid in next to him. My dad was going to be driving his jeep while Kelly was going to be driving her dark blue bug. The U-Haul was already gone; I assumed that workers were driving it.

Oh, god, which was worse? Sora and Riku making goo-goo faces at each other, my dad (the traitor) ignoring me, or Kelly yapping away?

I shrugged.

"You can come with me," Kelly offered in a second, smiling.

That's how I found myself alone with her.

We drove out of the driveway, out of the street, out of the neighborhood, and out of the city. Kelly followed my dad, and Riku followed her.

"So…" Kelly said as she shifted gears. "We have lots of time to talk."

"Uh-huh." I stared out the window.

"What's your favorite color?"

I shrugged.

"Favorite movie?"

I shrugged.

"Favorite…food?"

I shrugged.

"Ok, then," she said, both of her hands on the steering wheel, "if you don't want to talk…"

Sometime later, she cleared her throat. "It must be really hard to be moving right after your mother's death. When was her funeral?"

"A week ago." I focused on keeping responses minimal, so that maybe she'd stop trying to strike up a conversation.

"I really do know what it's like…although Sora understands it better." She took a breath. "His father died a few years ago."

And my mom died a month ago, I thought grimly. She must still have been trying (struggling) to get me to say something, because she kept shooting glances at me.

"And I swear that your mother knew what was going on. I knew her, in fact."

"How can you think it's ok to date someone's husband? Your morals must be really screwed up," I snapped. 1 point for _Kelly_, 0 for me. I was talking, are you happy now?

She instinctively rubbed her thumb against her ring finger. "I was…lonely, ok? Sora was always out with Riku or Kairi and I was always at the office, or at home alone."

"What a good excuse," I said sarcastically.

"I don't expect you to understand," she shook her head. It was a miracle-she was no longer smiling. Most of the time, she looked like a Barbie, her face frozen in the same happy pose.

"Oh, sure, I understand completely. You're a whore who just wanted a good fu—"

"No! I love your father as much as your mother did!" she exclaimed. 1 point for me.

I was pretty surprised at myself, actually, considering that I hate cussing.

"This sudden move...is for you, Roxas."

"How?" I snarled. "How is this for me?"

"My apartment was too small for all of us, and even your house wouldn't be enough for five people. Plus the pay is much, much better in Baltimore."

"You should have just kept your nose out of me and my dad's business."

"I know this is all too soon." She tucked her hair behind her ear, while she ran her tongue over her lips nervously. It was good seeing her look uncomfortable.

"You think? The second his wife died, he got a newer, improved model."

"He's having a hard time, too," she said quietly. "Are these the sort of things you think about when you lock yourself in your room?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I think about the same things your son thinks about. Y'know, rainbows, candy, puppies, weddings, Christmas, the usual."

"I use to be a counselor, and I know from experience that it's better to let these feelings out."

(Mom) "Really?" I was still being overly sarcastic.

"Yes. How do you feel about moving in with me and my family?"

"It's pretty horrid."

"We'll take things slow, I promise. I won't make you call me mom yet—"

"Me? Call you mom? You're not my mother," I scoffed.

"I know, honey bunny."

Honey bunny? What the hell is wrong with this woman?

After a few minutes of silence, she said, "It's ok if you don't wish to talk to me, but I want you to know that your father, Sora and Riku are here to listen to you, and that you can't keep things bottled up inside."

"Whatever."

I pulled my laptop out from the black bag at my feet, a sign to her to shut up. I didn't have Wi-Fi in her car: no Internet. So I pulled open a Word Document instead.

October 19th, 2009

Mom,

Now that you're gone, I'm stuck with your jerk of a husband, his perfect girlfriend, her idiotic son, and his friend/boyfriend. (I don't really know which although I am pretty sure it's the latter.)

About a month has gone by, and he's already dating her...even though they've been together for a while, apparently. Why did you let him do that? Marriage means sharing your life with one person.

Well, we're moving and Kelly keeps peeking at me from the corner of her eye. God, I can't stand her.

I really want to talk to you about Naminé and I. Because I don't see how we are going to work this out, long distance relationships

I stopped typing, a lump in my throat. Keep going, I urged myself.

don't seem to work out. And it was going so well…I wish I could tell you this; we kissed. You would've died of happiness if I had gotten the chance to tell you that, I'm sure. I miss Nami already…

I miss you so much, mom. You were the only person I considered to be family. I've been meaning to ask you…did he ever lay a finger on you? Is he the reason why you died? Could you no longer deal with it? If he did…

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just wish you were here. I love you.

-Roxas

I closed my laptop and continued to stare at the landscape.

XxXxX

I was sitting on my kitchen counter, back at home. I looked at everything, overjoyed to be back. My mom entered.

I was shocked to see her. I wanted to say so much (ImissyouIloveyou) but my mouth wasn't in working order.

She hugged me, her lips next to my ear. "Look to the future, everything will turn out ok. And remember that I love you."

She disappeared within seconds.

When I woke up, my eyes were wet. I hastily wiped the tears away.

"Bad dream?" Kelly asked.

I shook my head, already thinking that the worst thing about car drives was the fact that the only thing to do was talk or sleep.

"Good news," she said. "We made it out of Montana; now we're in South Dakota."

She picked up her phone from where it was resting on the dashboard. "Do you have to tinkle-winkle?"

"Ummmm." Seriously, what is wrong with her?

"Hi honey," she said into the phone. "Can you pull into the next exit?...Yep. I'll call them. Love you too, my Oscar-rowmee."

That's worse than calling me honey bunny. Rowmee? Really? Idiot.

She hung up, and punched in another number. "Hi, we're pulling into the next exit…tell him hi for me, ok?" She laughed. "You're hungry already, Sora? Mmmmhmmm. He might. Bonding time, or is Riku boring you?" More laughter. "I'll see you in a minute. I love you, bye."

She set her phone back down. The three vehicles pulled into a gas station, and everyone immediately got out.

I didn't want to get out, but my legs were starting to cramp up.

After I went "tinkle-winkle" I wandered around the store.

"Look at what I found!" Sora shoved a giant jawbreaker in my face.

"Wow!"

"I know!" He didn't notice my fake enthusiasm.

He gave it to me, already grabbing more junk food. I put it back on the shelf once he was gone…I didn't feel like eating. So bite me.

The driving resumed, stretching on and on. I mostly slept, or blared music through my headphones; both were fool-proof ways of ignoring Kelly. Now we're in Illinois.

I pulled my legs up to my chest as Kelly babbled on about global warming. She cannot think of a single thing to say, I thought.

"…and it's all caused by pollution," she said, biting her fingernails. She. Would. Not. Stop. Gnawing. At. Her. Fingers. And. She. Would. Not. Shut. Up.

Blah, blah, blah. I stared at the yellow line in the middle of the road…the unending, non-changing center line. I turned my music up, even though it was hurting my ears; it felt like someone had stuffed cotton in them. At least now I could barely hear Kelly.

A small, brown animal jumped in front of the car: a frightened deer.

Its eyes widened, Kelly gave a high pitched gasp, and impact: the deer hit the front and Kelly slammed on the brakes.

The tires screamed, and the bug stopped.

Kelly leapt out even though we were on the highway.

I stuck my head out the window, annoyed.

"Oh god, I killed it!" She sobbed over the small figure.

"Kelly!" I exclaimed, gesturing towards the cars backed up behind us.

She glanced up, tears running down her face. "Ok, ok. I'll just call that nature place and get out of everyone's way."

She walked-more like waddled-back to her open door and grabbed her hideously yellow phone.

"You idiot! Get out of the road!" a man from behind us screamed. That's exactly what I was thinking.

Kelly's head snapped in that direction. She got in the car, and pulled over to the side of the road. The cars rocketed by, inching around the deer…

People came and removed the carcass while I tried to sleep and while Kelly cried 'sorry, you poor thing, sorry!'.

Riku and Sora caught up with us, and parked behind us. I thought they were behind us the entire time…I guess not.

They approached the car and Kelly rolled down her window."What happened?" Riku asked.

"I killed a deer," Kelly whimpered.

Riku laughed, and Sora slapped his arm, his face pouting. "Sorry…" Riku muttered.

"We're getting ready to roll out," Kelly explained.

The two nodded, and went back to the truck.

Kelly's phone rang. "Hello?" she answered. "Yes, it is…I hit a deer…ok, we'll be there in a little while…I'm getting tired, too. Bye, love you."

We stopped at a motel around ten o' clock, Kelly claiming to be dropping from fatigue, since she's a morning person.

We all met in the lobby.

"Let's sort our rooms out," my dad began. "Each room has two beds and a couch."

"Me, Riku, and Roxas can share a room!" Sora suggested, seeming elated at the idea.

My dad shot him a weird look, but Kelly thought it was a great idea; the kids in one room, the adults in the other.

They had better not make me sleep on the couch, I thought, placing my overnight bag next to the door.

Sora immediately jumped on the bed closest to the door. "You can have that bed," he pointed to the one next to the window.

I plugged my iPod in the wall to charge, and changed into my pajamas. When I came back out of the bathroom, Sora and Riku were already under the covers. Riku was sitting up, his back against the wall as he watched TV, and Sora was asleep, with his head laying on Riku's lap.

Boyfriend, I made a mental note in my head, laying down in my own bed.

I turned the light off near my bed. The TV showed some doctor show…Scrubs or House or something. No, it didn't seem to be a reality or a sitcom, more like a documentary. Whatever. I closed my eyes.

I heard the TV click off, and the sheets rustled as Riku settled into bed. They had better be quiet, I thought groggily.

They were, amazingly, and I nodded right off.

Driving continued early the next morning; Sora wanted me to ride with him and Riku but I knew they would probably talk more than Kelly, so I refused.

The driving went on forever and ever, or so it seemed.

We finally drove into Baltimore. The city was large, and everything was concrete. The buildings towered over our heads and the leaves were changing colors. Shades of red, orange, and yellow flashed before me. It was pretty, I'll admit, but Montana was prettier.

We pulled up to the house behind the U-Haul truck.

"It's amazing!" Kelly squealed.

It was a large, white, two-storied square-ish house with light green trimming on the edges of the door and windows. The driveway was located on the far left, and it curled towards the double-garage doors. There was a stone path leading from the driveway to the stairs that led to the porch.

Kelly was already on the wooden porch, beckoning to me.

I got out; the outside of the house might have looked nice (especially considering that the porch had a spotless floor, and white beams) but the inside was even _nicer._ I was use to our tiny house in Montana, so to me this house was...different. There was an entryway that led to a spacious living room that connected to the kitchen and dining room. Carpeted stairs led to a hallway. Doors lined each side, hiding multiple rooms.

I hated all of it. It was empty, and unfamiliar.

"This will be your room!" Kelly announced, throwing the door at the far left of the hallway open.

My room had tan carpet, and light green walls that matched the outside of the house. It had big glass doors with golden, delicate-looking handles; it led to a small balcony. I also had my own bathroom that was covered in white tiling. This room probably cost more than my house in Montana.

Kelly opened the balcony doors and stepped outside. "Look, there's your father," she waved.

I stepped out as well. The balcony was about three feet by three feet, with the white outer railing curving in a half-circle. It faced the back yard, where my dad was inspecting a small pond outlined in rocks and green plants.

My dad looked up, and waved back. "What do you think?" he yelled.

"It's great!" Kelly yelled back.

We went back inside. Kelly clapped her hands together. (Mom) "I think Sora and Riku are here!"

Downstairs, we all grouped around in the living room.

"We're home, guys," my dad said.

We began the long process of unpacking. First the important stuff (aka, beds, and toiletries), then more burly men carried in our furnisher, while Kelly pointed out where she wanted things. Everything else was dragged inside, and the boxes piled up the kitchen.

"Sora, Riku, and Roxas, could you unpack those things?" my dad nodded towards the boxes.

We did as we were told, and soon enough, everything was unpacked and the house was full of everyone's junk. Through all of this, Kelly beamed, my dad told me to stop moping, Sora dragged Riku along happily, and Riku went along with it all.

My dad and Kelly were snuggling on the couch (at least they weren't on my mom's recliner) and Sora and Riku had disappeared…somewhere.

"I'm going to bed," I informed them.

"Good night," they chimed.

The room (my room, I reminded myself) looked odd with my stuff covering it, especially my tiny bed. I had managed to position everything the way it had been at home, even if that meant that my bedpost was next to the balcony and the foot of my bed half blocked the bathroom. I'm sure Kelly would end up snooping in here, and rearranging things before long.

I laid there, sleep evasive. I thought about my mom, mostly.

Sometime later I heard Sora and Riku in the hallway.

"Are you going to bed?" I heard Riku ask as they walked past my room.

"Yeah…" Sora replied.

I heard their door close gently.

I rolled over and stared through the darkness at the wall. For some reason, it seemed really, really hot. Cold sweat poured down my back…maybe I was getting sick? I yanked off all the blankets except for my sheet, and changed positions, trying to get comfortable. I forced my eyes closed. Then I kicked off the sheet, too, but it didn't help.

I got out of bed and turned on the light. It was 3:30 a.m.

The only way to cool off that I could think of was going outside, so I went out onto the balcony, the cold air rushing inside my bedroom when I opened the door.

I stepped out further, looking up at the stars, the full moon, and the dark swirling clouds. I was already cooled off, but the air still felt nice.

I breathed in deeply, and the wind picked up, playing with my hair and making me shiver. The trees pressed in close to the balcony, and I could easily brush the dying leaves with my fingers. I grabbed one that was as big as my palm, and it crinkled, falling off the branch and down into the darkness of the yard.

It was so peaceful out here…alone, quiet. I leaned my back against the railing as the wind whipped my t-shirt.

Suddenly, I heard a loud '_crack_!' and felt myself falling backward. My hands fumbled at the open air as I gasped.

The fall was fast; one second I was thinking ohmygodohmygod and the next second I felt my body hit. The landing was pretty soft, surprisingly, despite the metal railing I had broken.

"Ow," I groaned. My eyes adjusted quickly, and I looked around…I was close to the house, near the garden.

I jumped a little when the ground moved.

"Um, hi," someone said.

I scrambled to my feet. "I'm sorry!" I exclaimed to the figure sprawled out on the ground. To the person I had fallen on top of. My face flushed. I yanked the railing off him and set it against the house.

The guy stood up, looming above me. God, this guy's tall, I thought. He was wearing a red hoodie and black, baggy jeans. An iPod stuck out of the front pocket of his hoodie, the white wires of his ear buds snaking up, seeming to glow in comparion with the black night. I heard the screeching of a hard core guitar solo before he turned it down. It was hard to see his face-or his hair-but I think he was looking at me.

"What were you _doing_?" he asked. "Are you ok?" He scratched the back of his head.

"Er, yeah," I blurted out. I was ok, except for a minor pain aching in my back. And for some reason, my heart was hammering like crazy. "I was just getting air…are you ok?"

"You might have given me a concussion, but I'm great."

I waited for him to leave, but for some reason, he kept standing there. So I asked him the first thing that popped in my head.

"What are you doing out this late, anyway? And what are you doing in my yard?"

He shrugged. "People annoy me."

"No kidding…" I muttered to myself, thinking about Kelly.

"Are you new here? As far as I can remember, I have been cutting through here, and this house has been empty."

"Yeah, I just moved in."

"The name's Axel. Got it memorized?"

"Uh, I'm Roxas."

"Maybe I'll see you around." He began walking away, throwing me a kind of backward fling of his hand: a wave.

That was weird, I thought, looking up at my balcony. The railing had…broken off somehow. I shivered, and went back inside.

I laid down. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend I was home in Montana. But the room was unknown, and, no matter what, I could smell vanilla…Kelly's perfume.

It was weird how much you could miss blue carpet and glow-in-the-dark star stickers.

XxXxX

I woke up around six the next morning. Or at least that's what my digital clock proclaimed. The sun was streaming in and blinding me; my balcony must face east.

I am a morning person…most of the time.

I could hear Sora and Riku giggling (as in Sora); their room is right next to mine…just great.

I got up and went downstairs for breakfast. I looked through the cupboards, but they were all empty except for the dishes and silverware. I moaned, rubbing my stomach. I looked out the window, to see Sora outside, where he was knelt next to the pond. He noticed me, and mouthed, "There are fish!"

How did he get out there without me noticing?...I shook my head.

Suddenly I was tackled. I toppled to the ground, landing backwards on my elbows on the hard concrete floor.

Riku's face was right in front of mine, his lips turned up in a smile for once.

I blinked, and Riku jumped off of me in a heartbeat.

"Uh, sorry, thought you were someone else…" he muttered.

"He's outside," I said simply.

"Thanks." He disappeared.

I sat on the table, my legs dangling off the side, creating a hate list. Topping the list? My dad, of course. Then:

1._ Kelly_

2. Sora

3. Maryland

4. Baltimore

5. This house

6. My dad

7. Vanilla

8. Green

9. _Kelly_

Riku's ok, I guess. When him and Sora are together…that's a different story,

Sora marched inside with Riku, his hand curled around his mouth as he pretended to have a trumpet playing the Army song; my dad and Kelly appeared at the same time.

"Good morning," Kelly smiled.

I moaned, standing up and attempting to escape to my room.

Sora stood in the doorway, blocking my egress. He gave me a giant bear hug, threatening to squeeze all the air out of my lungs.

"We're going to Wal-Mart to buy groceries," my dad said, ruffling Sora's hair.

My anger abruptly flared up. "Gonna get yourself a new son while you're at it? Oh, wait, you already did." I pushed Sora out of my way as tears filled his wide eyes. I didn't know why I was being so mean…I couldn't help it, the words just spilled (gushed) out of my mouth.

Kelly came after me, reaching me before I got onto the stairs. "Roxas, could you come with me? I need someone strong to carry the bigger boxes."

I kept walking until my dad ordered me to go. Kelly hustled to get ready, putting on an enormous, floppy yellow sunhat. (11 on my hate list, yellow)

"We're off!" she said.

My dad kissed her good-bye.

When he should have been kissing my mom, or **no one at all**.

"I'm not going," I snapped.

I locked myself in my room, something I seemed to be doing more and more often.

I sat there for five minutes or five hours. Who knows. Eventually my dad came, knocking on the door.

"Roxas, unlock the door!"

I didn't respond.

"Open it right now, young man, or I will take your door off its hinges."

How were you going to do that, huh?

With a screwdriver, I realized, as he began to unbolt the door.

I quickly unlocked it, and my dad stopped.

The next part's blurry, but I saw a flash of color and felt a blow to the center of my head. The pain radiated out from that point and my breath got caught in my thoat.

I flinched away from where my dad was standing with a hard covered copy of some book.

I stood there, gawking like an idiot.

"Don't make me look like a fool in front of Kelly," he growled. "You need to calm down, and stop acting like the world revolves around you."

He left before I could react.

It didn't hurt that bad, it was just enough to scare me and to shake me up a little. I'm sure other dads do it.

Maybe this is how he started beating mom up. That irritating voice was back.

He never did such a thing, I grimaced.

Oh? But he just hit you with a book.

Yeah, a book! And it didn't even hurt, I thought. It's like hitting someone with a newspaper when you're joking around.

It didn't hurt? Not yet, but it will get worse, the voice hissed.

I shoved the aggravating voice to the back of my mind. I really, truly cannot believe this is happening to me, I thought. I want my mom, not that Barbie-slut.

I spread out on my bed, ignoring my headache and the weight in my chest.

I grabbed my laptop and turned it on. Another mistake in my ever-growing list.

Almost immediately, I was verbally attacked by Hayner.

Hayner: You moved?

Roxas: Yeah

It took him a split second to reply.

Hayner: Why didn't you tell me? I had to hear it from Naminé!

Roxas: I haven't talked to you for like five weeks, so I figured you wouldn't care

Hayner: Are you insane? We're still friends, aren't we?

Roxas: I guess

Hayner: So why didn't you tell me?

Roxas: Idk, it was sudden

Hayner: I'm sorry

Roxas: Um, ok

Hayner: I heard about your mom in the local newspaper. I would have gone to the funeral, if I had known

Roxas: Oh

Hayner: Is that why you moved?

Roxas: I guess

Hayner: I miss you

Roxas: I miss you too. How's Nami?

Hayner: Hangin out with her sister a lot, since they're both going through the same thing

Roxas: What's wrong with Kairi?

Hayner: Sora was cheating on her. And he disappeared.

Oh yeah, I thought.

Roxas: He's here

Hayner: What?

Roxas: Him and his creepy mother are living with me and my dad. Oh Riku's here too.

Hayner: That's weird.

Roxas: Especially since Riku and Sora are like together.

Hayner: Yeah, didn't Sora cheat on Kairi with Riku?

Roxas: I think so.

Hayner: Why are they living with you anyway?

Roxas: Idk why Riku is-other than the fact that Sora's here. But my dad hooked up with Kelly, Sora's mom, and we all moved here.

Hayner: God, what's wrong with him?

Roxas: I know huh. I'm sorry about avoiding you, I just felt awkward and yeah…

Hayner: It's ok, though it sucks that you moved. What am I going to do without my best friend? :(

Roxas: What am I going to do with all the idiots In my house?

Hayner: Heh, no kidding, Sora never shuts up. Try having him in one of your classes.

Roxas: His mom is even worse.

My stomach was attempting to eat itself. I would have to eat _sometime_, but it was really, really nice to have someone to talk to.

Hayner: Uck. You should feel loved, a lot of people cried when you just disappeared.

Roxas: Like who?

Hayner: Namely Naminé and Olette, and some other people I don't know. I've been talking to Naminé more now.

What, everything is resolved once I am gone?

Roxas: I miss everyone, and I am glad you made peace with her.

Hayner: She's actually pretty nice when she doesn't have her lips all over you.

Roxas: What?

Hayner: Didn't you two kiss?

Roxas: How'd you know that?

Hayner: Naminé told Olette. Yeah she has been hanging out with us a lot lately. Good job, man. XD

Roxas: Yeah, I get the guts to kiss her once I am moving.

Hayner: You can visit, right?

Roxas: I have no idea. Hopefully.

Hayner: You're in Maryland?

Roxas: Yeah.

Hayner: Can Naminé IM?

Roxas: I think so…she's just never on.

Hayner: Oh. Do you remember the day we met?

Roxas: You stole my lunch :(

Hayner: Still mad about that? Lol, we were only five. And I was hungry.

Roxas: Eat your own lunch.

Hayner: But I'm still hungry…

Roxas: Too bad

Hayner: What would you say if I told you I cried my eyes out when you moved?

Roxas: I would call you a stalker.

Hayner: I would only be a stalker if I FOLLOWED you to your new house.

Roxas: Thanks for clearing that up.

My door opened. It was Kelly. "We're going to Denny's for dinner."

I continued to lay there.

"You're coming too, you haven't eaten all day."

"Uhhhhh," I groaned.

Hayner: Ur welcome.

Roxas: Kelly's making me go out to dinner.

Hayner: Oh. Bye.

Roxas: Bye.


	6. Introductions

A/N: I will not be able to upload anything next week...the good news is that I'll have plenty of time to write!

~KeedaxEmry

Dinner was uneventful, for the most part. Kelly decided to inform me that I was to start school on Monday, as to "not get behind." Sora copied my order, and he spent most of the time singing or blabbing on about something. Naturally, I spent most of the time ignoring him and pretending I was somewhere else.

The whole thing was very, very irritating.

After we were done eating, my dad and Kelly walked up to the front desk to pay. I decided to go outside, so I could get away from everyone. I was walking out through the doors when I bumped into a man. The man's hand flew to his mouth as he threw up. All over my shirt. It was _hot_ and I could feel it all over my torso; gross, gross, _gross._

"Oh, kid, I'm sorry!" he exclaimed, wiping his mouth off. I disgustingly looked down at my shirt. "Stupid Luxord…" he muttered to himself.

The man was tall with an eye patch covering his right eye and a scar on his left cheek. He had long black hair with streaks of gray near his ears.

He creped me out for some reason, and I edged around him. The man went inside.

"What's wrong?" Riku appeared, staring at my shirt, at the green-and-white sick all over me. "Umm…"

Sora walked out. "They're still paying the bill…oh geez." He frowned for a moment, then grabbed my wrist. "C'mon."

He dragged me to the bathroom where he yanked paper towel after paper towel out of the dispensary. He wet them in the sink, and began scrubbing at my shirt. Riku showed up, leaning against the wall and watching us.

By the time Sora was done, I had a gigantic damp spot on the front of my shirt but at least the sick was gone.

We all met outside.

"What happened?" my dad asked.

"Some guy threw up on me," I murmured.

"You ok?" Kelly asked, pulling her sunglasses out.

I shrugged.

We went back "home."

"I stocked the kitchen," Kelly said as we walked inside.

"Sweet." Sora headed straight there; Riku followed.

I holed up in my room.

Life was moving too fast, and I couldn't deal with it. School…unimaginable. The normal worries sprang in my head: what if I can't make friends, what if I don't fit in, what if, what if.

I don't want to. I want to go home; I miss Naminé. I pictured her in my mind, afraid that I wouldn't be able to. I could still clearly see her soft facial features, her stubborn look, her smile.

I should call her. I grabbed my phone, but it was dead.

"Dad!" I yelled. "Where's my phone charger? Who unpacked it?"

"I don't know!" he yelled back.

I groaned, digging through my room, then through the rest of the house. I couldn't find it anywhere. Eventually I gave up and crawled into bed.

The next day, I woke up early with the sun pouring onto my face. I threw the blankets over me and continued to lay there.

Someone opened the door. I evened out my breathing so that the person would think I was asleep.

"Good mooooooorning!" Kelly sang. "You," she poked my leg, "are going out today! So stop being a Mr. Grumpy Gills and get out of bed!"

"Go away," I sighed.

She jerked the blankets off of me and I shuddered as the cold air hit me. I automatically curled up into a ball.

"C'mon, Roxas, embrace the day!"

"No." I grabbed a side of my pillow and rolled it around my head until it was covering both of my ears.

"Oscar, he won't get out of bed!" she called.

Why can't people just leave me alone?

"Get your ass out of bed," my dad snarled.

He got here fast. He grabbed my ankle and began dragging me.

"I'm up! I'm up!" I kicked him off of me.

"Good, hurry up and get dressed."

I did as I was told, grumbling the entire time.

Sora and Riku were waiting for me outside on the porch. Riku jiggled his car keys while Sora grinned at me.

"What are we doing?" I asked, slipping my white-rimmed sunglasses on; they're large and cover a good portion of my face.

"Goin' to Chesapeake Bay," Sora said.

"And why do I have to go?"

Riku rolled his eyes. "Supervision."

"Yeah, because Riku likes to get drunk and—" Riku's eyes widened, and he slapped his hand over Sora's mouth. "Mmmmmmmm." Sora pushed his hand off. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" He ran to the passenger side of Riku's truck.

We all got in. Riku turned out to be a pretty good driver. The gentle shaking lulled me to sleep on the backseat, my cheek slammed into the seatbelt.

We were forced to walk a few blocks to the Bay itself because the streets were already crowded with cars and people.

"What do you wanna do first?" Sora asked. We stared across the water, the boats, the stoned ground, the various stores, and the tourist milling about; the whole place smelled like fish.

Riku and I both shrugged.

"Ooh, paddle boats!" Sora grabbed Riku's hand and pulled him towards the brightly-colored boats. I followed like a stray dog, which is a pretty good description, considering.

"Only two people can ride at a time," Riku pointed out.

Sora's face fell just a little.

"I don't want to go," I said.

"Maybe you could go wait for us at the Cheesecake Factory. It's almost lunch time," Riku suggested.

I shrugged, already walking away. Anything for some alone time.

I pulled the glass door open, the slightly warmer air greeting me. It had to be only fifty or sixty degrees outside.

I stood next to the 'Please Wait to be Seated' sign, pulling my sunglasses off as my stomach moaned for food.

"How many?" A woman with curly brown hair appeared.

"Three."

She led me to a dark green booth in the corner of the restaurant, leaving me with the menus.

I should just ditch them, I thought. But I'm starving.

I went to the bathroom before ordering. I was washing my hands when someone stepped up to the sink next to mine. From my peripheral vision, I could see his shoulder. Something pink was on it. With a jolt, I realized that it was his hair. This guy had long, pink hair that was curled.

"What?" the man sneered.

Was I staring? I kept my eyes down at the water running over my fingers.

"Pink hair's manly," he said, walking out of the bathroom.

Um, ok. If you say so.

When I got back to the table, Riku and Sora were already there ordering drinks.

"Chocolate milk," Sora said as I sat down across the two. He looked at me expectantly, obviously expecting a repeat of Denny's.

"M—" I started to say out of habit. "Lemonade," I said quickly.

Sora frowned.

I sat there sipping at my lemonade while we waited for our food to come; Riku and Sora chatted…about mostly pointless things. Like school, things they wanted to do, movies, pets…

"Roxas, have you ever had a pet?" Sora asked.

"No."

"I use to have a bunny named Anita but she died."

"How surprising," I mumbled, spinning my straw in my drink.

"I want a puppy, but mom says that I'm not responsible enough to take care of one. Riku, can you get me a puppy for Christmas?"

"Sure, why not?" Riku said.

Sora smiled.

Our food finally came. I focused on my pasta, and nothing else. Stab, open, chew, chew, swallow, ignore them, repeat.

Sora can be very immature, with his grilled cheese, and his off-pitched singing.

"I can blow bubbles! I can blow bubbles!" He sang after almost spilling chocolate bubbles all over Riku's arm.

"I have no self control! I have no self control!" I mimicked him in annoyance.

Sora seemed unphased, but Riku gave me a dirty look.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Sora said, getting up and leaving.

I pierced another piece of pasta.

"Watch your mouth," Riku growled.

I looked up, surprised that he was talking to me. "Huh?"

"You heard me." He looked away angrily but then turned back to me. "He's overly sensitive, ok? He's probably going to spent the night crying because of you."

"As long as I can't hear his blubbering."

"Stop it!" Riku snapped, his eyes flaring up with anger. "Whenever you feel vulnerable, you react by becoming moody and sadistic—"

I set my fork down. "Shut your goddamn mouth."

Riku, calm, collected Riku, looked as if he wanted me to die a slow, painful death. "Don't take your problems out on Sora, or me, or Kelly, or anyone."

"Why the hell did you come with us? Go back home!"

He looked away just as Sora slid next to him.

We were overly quiet. Sora looked from Riku to me, confused. "Riku?" he asked softly. "Are you ok?" He glanced at me again.

"Yeah," he said, throwing his wrinkled napkin on his plate. "Let's go."

"What now?" Sora asked outside. "Roxas, you choose something."

The first thing that caught my eye was a giant sign outside of a museum: Body Worlds. An exhibit of once-living, perfectly preserved human bodies. Maybe it'll make them puke.

I pointed it out.

"You sure you want to do that?" Sora asked, dragging his feet as I walked to the museum.

I nodded; Riku was looking at the museum with a gleam in his eye. "I have always wanted to go here!" he beamed. Damn it, I made him happy.

The museum started with a skeleton and worked up to baby fetuses. Sora actually thought it was cool (Riku loved it)…which I guess it was.

Once, Sora pointed to an, um, unmentionable female body part, asking, "Riku, what's that?" and making little kids nearby giggle and making adults shoot him weird looks. Riku dragged him away.

Something is wrong with that kid.

Afterwards, we drove home.

The next day I spent in my room: reading, surfing the internet, etc. Everyone was out, going to some nature park; I had refused to go.

Late that night they came home, and went to bed before me. I hadn't eaten anything all day, and by the time the night had settled in, my stomach was rumbling. I walked into the kitchen to see Kelly's cell phone hooked up into the wall, being charged with my phone charger. I snatched my charger, leaving her phone there, and ran upstairs.

Where's my phone? It wasn't on top of my dresser, or on my nightstand, or on my bed. I searched through my room, finally finding it on my bathroom counter.

Now I can call Naminé. The pain in my chest lifted slightly at the thought of that.

The small battery appeared on the screen of my phone. I dialed the phone number I know by heart.

_Ring_. I hope I'm not waking her up, it's already eleven here. But there's a time difference, isn't there? I hope she has her phone with her…

_Ring_. What if she's still taking care of Kairi? How quickly does Kairi get over things?

_Ring_. Will she want to talk to me if Kairi's still freaking out…? What if she's ignoring her phone?

_Ring_. I'm just being paranoid; she'll answer…

_Ring_. _Hello, this is Naminé. Leave a message after the beep._

I submitted to the thought of just leaving a message, and not being able to talk to her.

_Beep._

"Hi Naminé. This is—"

"Roxas?"

I blinked at the sound of her voice. "Naminé?"

"Hey," she sort of laughed. "How are you? It's been, what, a week?"

"Yeah, my phone was dead, and I couldn't find my charger." I sat down on my bed, leaning my back against the wall. "What have you been up to?"

"_I_ should be asking _you_ that. I've been going to school, living my bland, normal life. How's Maryland?"

"Annoying."

She laughed. "I've missed you!"

"Me too," I smiled sadly.

"Have you started school yet?"

"I start tomorrow."

"Make sure to get the cute girls' numbers."

"I already have your number."

"Shush you," she said playfully. "That is either the sappiest thing you have ever said, or the sweetest." She paused. "Although…" she said more seriously.

"What?"

"I would understand if you started seeing other people."

"I wouldn't do that."

"You may change your mind later," she paused. "I mean, Roxas, when are we going to be able to see each other again? Realistically…in a few months, after summer vacation has started. Even that's a _maybe_."

"Let's not talk about this now," I sort of pleaded.

"Ok…sorry…no, it's not him!"

"Who are you talking to?"

There was a rushing sound of air and I imagined her shifting her phone to her other ear. "Kairi," she whispered. "She's still moping around, but she'll get over Sora sometime."

"Oh. I've been meaning to ask you…um, did Sora cheat on her with Riku?"

She sighed. "Yeah. The other day, Hayner told us everything…..about you and your family…and Kairi became kind of frantic and upset hearing that both Sora and Riku are living with you."

"They share a room and everything," I said, point-blank.

"Geez. I doubt you want to talk about this, but I'm sorry about your mom."

"Yeah." We were quiet for a moment, until I asked, "What time is it there, anyway?"

"Ummmmmmm, nine."

"It's eleven here."

"You should be asleep."

"Yeah, probably."

Someone began talking in the background. "I have to go."

"Kairi there?"

"Yeah. Have a good first day, call me. Good night."

"Good night."

But, of course, I couldn't sleep at all.

XxXxX

"Roxas, time to get up."

It was my dad. I blinked, but he was already gone.

Butterflies dominated my stomach, my nerves trying to get the best of me.

I pushed myself out of bed. A quick shower, a change of clothes, a bite of breakfast, and we were out the door. "We": me, Kelly, Sora and Riku. (My dad was already at work.)

"Do you have everything?" Kelly asked as I buckled my seatbelt.

"Yep!" Sora exclaimed.

"Yeah," Riku said.

I stared out the window, my backpack on my lap. Starting in a new high school…dealing with new people…I shuddered.

"Make lots of new friends, don't make your teachers mad, listen to others' advice, do your schoolwork, don't talk during class, find someone who can help you find your classes, eat all your lunch, and I'll pick you up right here after school," Kelly rapidly ranted like a lunatic. She only shut up when we pulled in front of the school.

Rockwood High School, I read. This is going to _suck_…

"We have to check in at the front desk," Riku said.

The three of us stood in front of the high counter; the office employees, mostly fat, bored-looking women, sat staring at computer screens.

"Excuse me?" Riku raised his voice.

The woman closest, a stout, cow-like creature, looked up and slowly lumbered towards us. "What do you need?" she asked.

"We're new here, and—"

"Did you already fill out the paperwork?"

"Um, yes. And—"

"Are your parents with you?"

"No, but—"

"Names?" God, what a rude woman.

"Riku Anders, Sora Kendall, and Roxas Peyton."

"One moment."

She hobbled back to her computer, and typed something in swiftly. "Barb, can you grab what I just printed off?"

A woman, Barb, disappeared into some hidden room, and returned with three pieces of paper.

The cow-like woman came back to the desk. "You've already been registered and everything," she paused.

Riku took that moment to mutter, "That's what I was _trying_ to tell you."

"Did you say something, dear?"

"No, I was just thanking you," he smiled. I could tell it was fake, forced; his lips seemed to be pulled into a grimace, not a smile. The woman didn't notice. In fact, she reddened slightly and she seemed to flutter like a bird as she fidgeted slightly.

"You're such a gentlemen." She fanned her face with the papers Barb had given her. "Here are your schedules."

Finally. I read over my schedule:

First Period: History, Room 107

Second Period: English 1, Room 111

Third Period: Geometry, Room 205

Fourth Period: P.E., Gym

Fifth Period: Technology, Tech Lab

Sixth Period: Advanced Biology, Room 203

"Hurry and get to class, or you'll be late," I heard the woman say.

We ambled out, and began walking down the hall; a few students roamed the halls, either looking at us curiously or ignoring us completely.

"What's your first class?" Sora asked.

"History," I said.

"English," Riku said.

"I have Calculus...and it's right here! Bye!"

He ran off happily. All I could think was "Calculus? That idiot is taking _Calculus_?"

I glanced to my left; Riku was gone. What the hell? He just ditched me like that?

I looked at the numbers above the wooden doors. 201…203…205. I backtracked, but couldn't find any door in the one-hundreds. The bell rang; leave it to me to be late for my very first class.

I looked closer at my schedule…

And collided headfirst into someone, causing the person's books to clatter to the floor.

"Um…um…" she said, blushing.

She had short, black hair and blue eyes a shade darker than mine. She was wearing a white t-shirt, jeans, and a purple jacket. Her face looked absolutely petrified, like a frightened mouse caught in a trap. What's up with me comparing people to animals today?...

I bent down to sweep her books up into my arms and handed them to her.

"…Sorry!" she squeaked.

"It's fine. Do you know where—"

She had already bolted in the opposite direction.

I shook my head. She most definitely reminded me of a frightened mouse. She didn't even stay long enough to tell me where room 107 is….

Eventually, I found a flight of stairs, and, even later, my classroom.

I peeked inside. The teacher was already talking.

I took a deep breath, pushed any and all feelings aside, put an uncaring look on my face, and opened the door.

"…he used child soldiers to—"

The teacher abruptly stopped speaking, and glanced at me. He was muscular, with a hard-set, square-shaped face and reddish hair. I stood next to him; he was bulky and it made me feel insignificant. I tried to ignore the fact that everyone was now staring at me.

"Hello?" the teacher inquired, a slight smile on his face.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I glanced to my left, towards the rows of desks and the rows of unblinking eyes. "I'm new here and—"

"Are you Roxas Peyton?"

"Yes." Some of the kids were whispering among themselves, and one girl yelled, "Hi my name's Ciara!" I shifted my weight from my right foot to my left, my stomach reminding me of how mortifying this was.

"My name is Lexaeus Resmusis, but call me Mr. Resmusis." He gestured to the class with a sweep of his hand. "Go ahead and introduce yourself."

I turned to face the students. I kept my eyes level, staring at a poster of Hitler in the back of the room. "My name is Roxas Peyton and I just moved here from Montana."

"Please take any seat," Mr. Resmusis said.

I graciously sank into the desk nearest me, throwing my heavy backpack onto the floor, and rubbing my sore shoulders.

"Hey, psssssst!" a girl to my left hissed.

"What?" I made sure to keep my eyes straight ahead as Mr. Resmusis continued the discussion of child soldiers.

"Do you have two brothers?"

"No."

"Awww, you don't?"

"Nope."

"Then it's a _coincidence_ that three new students enrolled at once?" She leaned closer to me. "I saw you guys in the hall."

"Uh-huh."

"Do you know them?"

I sighed mentally. "Sure."

"Ohmygosh, what's the silver-haired guy's name?" she squealed.

"Riku," I said, still attempting to listen to the class debate.

"Rikuuuuuuu," she swooned. "Can you introduce me? Or get me his phone number?"

"No, he's already taken."

She sat back in her seat, deflated. "That's too bad. What about the other one?"

"Taken."

"Darn."

This sort of talk followed me throughout the day…the only reason anyone was talking to me was to ask about Riku, Riku, Riku. He's as popular as he was back home, I thought as I sat in Geometry class, listening to girls giggle behind me.

"Did you see him?" Girl #1 asked.

"Yes!" Girl #2 sighed.

"I would die to have hair like him! And Amber told me that his name is _Riku_!" Girl #1 shrieked.

"You guys are idiots," Girl #3, the sensible one, said. "He's taken, with a capital t."

"How do you know?" Girl #2 snorted.

"It's written all over his face. And, besides, he is nothing compared to my Vantwellez!" Girl #3 tittered.

Never mind, she's as ditzy as the rest of them.

"_Your _Vantwellez?" Girl #2 exhaled loudly. "He rejected you, remember?"

"He rejects everyone. And one day he'll say yes!"

"If you say so," Girl #1 muttered. "I personally think he's creepy with those things under his eyes."

"Hey, you guys! It's Riku's brother!" Girl #2 whispered urgently.

They had finally noticed me, and were know attacking me for information on Riku. Please let the day end soon, I prayed, wanting nothing more than to go home and sleep.

By the time lunch came, I had the worst headache of my life.

I stepped into the long line; Sora and Riku spotted me from their place close to the front.

"Roxas!" Sora tried to wave me over.

I pretended that I couldn't see him.

"What are you having?" the server asked.

"Um, I'm not familiar with the menu—"

I broke off as someone whispered in my right ear. "Get the pizza."

I glanced over at the guy behind me and gawked in disbelief. It's the guy I fell on! In the brighter lighting, I could see his lean, cat-like face (There I go again.) and his hair-his bright, red hair. His hair was spiked straight out; I unconsciously leaned closer to try and see how much hair gel he had used…but his hair showed no traces of product. His eyes were bright, as if everything around him was there for his amusement. There were black upside-down teardrop tattoos under his eyes...

Oh my god, I realized. He's the guy Naminé had a dream about! That creepy guy in the forest—

"What are you having?" the server asked again.

The guy-was his name Axel?-gave me a cocky look, grinning and standing there with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Uh, pizza," I said.

I got all my food, a slice of pizza, an orange, a salad, and a bottle of water, and finally reached the cashier. I didn't have the chance to say anything to the guy behind me because of the roar of the lunch crowd, and because of the servers asking me what I'm having.

"$2.50, please," the cashier drawled.

I handed her the money, and then uncertainly stepped over to the side, holding my tray up, to wait for the guy. He had a tight, long-sleeve black shirt on, and dark jeans. He kept glancing at me like "You're still here?". I didn't know what I was doing…but he was the only person I knew here, and I didn't want to sit alone. "Knew" probably wasn't the right word...acquainted?

He brushed past me, asking, "You remember me?" He looped through the thong of people.

"Yeah." I struggled to keep up with him, walking quickly and flitting to the left and right to avoid running into people. "Aren't you Axel?"

"A-X-E-L," he said, matter-of-factly.

He slid into a chair at a crowded table. "Here," he said, stealing a chair from a neighboring table and pulling it up next to him.

I sat down, nervous.

The table itself was blue and circular, and it reminded me of my old school...it was also packed. Next to Axel sat a girl nibbling at a salad; she had short, blonde hair with two strips sticking out like antennas. She had a mean, sharp-looking face and she was wearing a v-necked black t-shirt with dark pink lining.

"Is this your new pet?" she sneered, stabbing a piece of lettuce while she regarded me coldly.

"This is Roxas," Axel said in-between bites of his own pizza. "That's Larxene."

Larxene laughed harshly. "How old are you, twelve?"

The boy sitting next to her said, "He's a freshman." He didn't look up from his book, but his hair was a dark shade of blue that was layered and covered half of his face; he was wearing a black shirt with a weird, deep red design on it. "I'm Zexion."

"I'm fifteen," I said.

I glanced around the table. Axel, Larxene, Zexion…directly across from me was the mouse girl. who was staring at her lap.

"That's Xion," Axel nodded towards her.

The last person, who sat to my left, elbowed her. "Don't mind her, she's deathly shy." He had blonde hair that was styled in a mullet, big ears, and a goofy look on his face. He was wearing a blue hoodie. "I'm Demyx."

"Hi. Are you all seniors?" I asked, unsure.

"Me and Axel are," Larxene said.

"I'm a sophomore," Zexion said, still seemingly engrossed in his book. "Demyx is a junior, and Xion's a freshman."

I twisted the cap off of my water and took a sip.

"Did you fix your balcony?" Axel asked.

"Um, not yet."

"If I hadn't been there, you would've busted your head open like a melon."

"Yeah, probably."

"What the heck are you two talking about?" Demyx gave me a confused look.

"He fell on top of me when I was out walking," Axel explained dully.

Demyx burst out laughing. "That's just great," he exclaimed, leaning his chair back so that only two legs were on the floor.

I noticed Axel eyeing my food; his own tray was already empty. "Are you going to eat that?" he asked.

I shook my head, pushing it towards him, keeping only my water. "Is that why you told me to get pizza?"

He grinned. "Maybe."

"It's rude to eat other people's food," Zexion complained after seeing Axel shoving my food in his mouth.

Axel shrugged, and continued eating.

"It's weird that we go to the same school," I shook my head.

"Yeah, no—"

"Roxas!"

Everything was going good. I wasn't sitting alone, I was actually talking to someone. But Sora and Riku decided to show up at that exact moment. Sora had his hand clamped on my shoulder as he beamed at everyone sitting around the table.

"What?" I grumbled.

"You look like you're having a good day," Sora winked.

Axel was still stuffing pizza in his mouth and was now looking at the pair curiously; Larxene was staring at Riku; Zexion was ignoring them, still reading; Xion was nibbling at an apple and glancing at them nervously; Demyx was smiling cheerfully.

"Sure."

"Dad says to call him."

"Dad?" How could he call him that? It's not right, he isn't—

"Yep. See you later."

They left. I was seething, but I pushed it away. "Your brothers?" Axel asked.

"Yeah," I said, still distracted with the word _dad_.

"The taller one was cute," Larxene said, the first comment from her that wasn't negative.

"I've been getting that all day."

"That must get annoying," Axel said, starting to peel my orange.

"Now you know how I feel," Zexion said.

"I can't help being this smexy," Axel beamed at Zexion. It made him look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.

Larxene shoved a piece of lettuce in his mouth, smirking. "It's comments like that that turned Zexion emo."

Zexion finally glanced up from his book."Emo emerged in the 1980s as a type of music that used personal, passionate lyrics—"

"You know too much," Demyx yawned. "I would rather be playing my sitar right now…"

"What's a sitar?" I asked.

Demyx's eyes widened. "Only the greatest instrument ever invented!"

"Which is?" I asked slowly.

"It's a guitar," Axel said flatly.

"Is not!" Demyx pouted. "It's a _special_ type of guitar."

"I've always wanted to play guitar," I mentioned.

"Really? Me and Axel both know—"

The bell ran, cutting him off, and we all dispersed.


	7. Social Events

"Hello?"

"Dad, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to tell you that you have to walk home after school."

"Why? I thought Kelly was picking us up."

"She got her hands full with some home decorating projects." He cleared his throat. "Apparently, you broke the railing on your balcony…?"

"How am I suppose to find my way home? I barely know what our street is called!"

"Riku knows. And our house is pretty close to school."

"Listen," I shook my head, frustrated. "I have to get to class."

"Ok, bye."

I hung up, and entered my fourth period class.

The day went rather smoothly, until Biology.

I slipped inside, not late for once. My ears were instantly assulted by shouting and laughing and shrieking. The first thing that I noticed, other than that the class was completely out of control, was Axel sitting on the right side of the room. I quickly hid my surprise, thinking, a senior? Taking Biology?

My eyes hastily swept the rest of the room. It wasn't filled with desks, like my other classes were, but was instead filled with long, black rectangular tables with two chairs each. Axel was sitting with some guy who had thick glasses and a messy mop of hair.

I found the teacher, who was an older man, with a long, creepy face and blonde hair that fell to his shoulders. I approached him as he slipped rubber gloves onto his hands. "Hi I'm new here," I said.

"Oh, Roxas Peyton," he said. I briefly wondered how everyone seemed to know my name, even though it was a pretty big school. "I had your brother in here earlier, very bright kid," he continued. "I'm Vexen Frijol. Umm, let's see...now there is an odd number of students. Class," he raised his voice, "who would be willing to let Roxas here join your group?"

Axel looked up, his eyes meeting mine for a second. Then he bent back over his paper, completly unphased. The rest of the students reacted accordingly.

Mr. Frijol watched them as they messed around, throwing paper airplanes, yelling at eachother, texting...someone was standing near the back of the room, singing as obnoxiously as humanly possible. Axel and the person next to him seemed to be the only people working.

Mr. Frijol turned to me after a moment. "Just join any group you'd like."

I walked up to Axel's table. "Hey," I managed, self-conscious.

He held up his paper, which showed a poorly drawn man with buck-teeth...Mr. Frijol, I'm assuming. And I thought he was working. He grinned expectantly and I laughed; I must have sounded unsure of myself, because he looked at the picture critically. "It's not that bad, is it?" he asked.

"Um..." I muttered. "No."

He chuckled. "You're in luck, we're dissecting pigs today."

"Oh, really?" I was standing next to the table while Axel and the guy sitting next to him looked around—there was nowhere to sit. Which I guess didn't matter, considering that now everyone was jostling around, grabbing dissection equipment and washing their hands.

We got all the equipment: a dissecting tray, a packet including scalpels and knives, pins, gloves, goggles, and the pig itself.

Axel's Biology partner, whose name I learned was Wendell, set to work while Axel watched and I squirmed.

Wendell put the dead, baby pig on the tray and pinned its limp legs down. Its eyes were open, and they gazed into the distance as if in a trance. He picked up the knife and slashed its belly open; I looked away, a horrible stench reaching my nose and making my eyes water. It was the preservatives that had been injected into the pig.

"Are you ok?" Axel asked, concerned.

I didn't bother to turn around and look at him. "I'm fine."

"Have you ever dissected anything before?" Wendell asked.

I didn't reply...I was afraid to open my mouth...my stomach churned, burning of acid, and threatening to make me retch.

I breathed in that terrible smell again, and my head instantly began throb. It felt like someone was taking a mallet and was striking my brain repeatedly with each breath I took. The pain made me wince.

Someone's hand was on my shoulder. It was Axel. "Are you sure you're ok?" He still seemed worried.

"Yeah," I choked out. The goggles were cutting into my skin, and I roughly pushed them away from my eyes. Tears blurred my vision, so I brushed them away, which made my eyes sting even more.

"It's the preservatives. We have eye cleaner—"

"When does school end?" I asked impatiently, a sour taste rising in my mouth.

"Three. But—"

"What time is it now?"

"Thirty til."

I rubbed my eyes again, dark spots beginning to envelop anything I tried to look at.

"I can finish this without you two, so you can take him to the nurse," Wendell suggested.

"Good id—"

"No," I interrupted. "I'm _fine_."

I turned back around to prove my words to them. The skin covering the pig's stomach was pulled back and pinned to the tray. It's whole torso was cut open, although I could mostly see its liver—a large, blackish organ.

The smell hit me twice as hard, covering my face, my mouth, my nose. It smelled like decaying, dying flesh that has been soaked in a bitter chemical.

Oh god. I covered my mouth with both hands, thinking that I was going to puke. Instead, my head pounded and my eyes stung.

"Roxas?"

Darkness.

XxXxX

I blinked, my vision focusing. I was in a dinky, cot-like bed and Axel was sitting next to me on a tiny, plastic chair. In fact, the chair was way too small for him; he was almost bent over double.

The room was dark and was mostly filled with the bed I was laying in, which was pressed against the wall. Posters covered the wall: the life cycle of head lice, proper eating and exercising habits, etc.

"What happened?" I sat up.

Axel looked up at me. "You passed out and I had to carry you to the nurses' office. The nurse said that you have low blood sugar…or something like that…Anyway, school's already over."

"Why are you still here?"

He shrugged. "I feel like this is my fault."

"How exactly do you figure that?"

"I ate your lunch."

"Oh, that. Uh," I realized, "did Riku and Sora stop by?"

"Yeah, but they left."

"I have to walk home and I don't know the way…" I got out of the bed, having to hop around Axel's long legs. Upon seeing my backpack laying next to the door, I grabbed it and pulled it over my shoulders. I moaned as my head pulsated dully.

Axel got up and followed me out of the office. "I know the way."

I glanced at him. "Really?"

"Walk that way a lot," he explained. "I can show you the way."

He gestured for me to follow him, and I did so.

I had a feeling that he was annoyed, or that he felt like he was just babysitting, so I muttered, "You don't have to."

"I doubt you'd be able to find it," Axel said as we walked out the front door, and past the flagpole.

"I bet I could."

"Which way, then?" He crossed his arms.

"Umm…" I racked my brain, thinking back to that morning. Uncertainly, I pointed to the right.

"Nope."

He began walking to the left.

"I can't believe I passed out at school again," I shook my head, thinking back to a similar experience. Axel turned onto a street that seemed to lead deeper into the city. This can't be the right way, I thought. But he knows this place better than I do.

"You mean this has happened before?" Axel raised his eyebrow.

"Kind of. I seem to…faint a lot."

He didn't press, just gave me a sidelong glance and continued to stride forward, while I tried to keep up.

The street we were on now was lined with shops and restaurants. "Are you sure we're going the right way?" I asked.

He nodded. I must have really freaked him out, or something, because his face seemed a little too pale and he had lost his easy-going, full-of-himself aura. It was replaced with this quieter, more reserved and serious personality.

He held a door open for me...I hadn't even noticed that he had stopped walking. Confused, I entered.

The place smelled sweet and saccharine; advertisements hung on the wall, showing pictures of sundaes, milkshakes, and ice cream cones. People sat at high tables, or stood in a line that led to the front.

We're at Cold Stone Creamery, I realized.

Axel stepped into the line. "Why'd you bring me here?" I asked.

"Low blood sugar, remember?"

"I'm fine," I persisted.

He looked at me dead in the eyes. I quickly broke eye contact, feeling more than a little awkward…his eyes were too sober and serious. "What have you eaten today?"

"Uh, toast...coffee...water..."

"No wonder why," Axel said, exasperated. "What did you eat yesterday?"

"Nothing."

"That's not healthy, Roxas." He tapped his foot against the floor, as if overly agitated.

"Look who's talking!" I said, angrily. "You're skinnier than me!"

"And I eat hell of a lot more than you do."

"I don't need your charity," I muttered through my clenched teeth. "I don't see why you care—"

"What are you, anorexic?"

The girl in front of us smiled. "What would you like?"

I pushed past Axel roughly, and wrenched the door open, the wind rushing in and knocking the breath out of me. I glanced back, and, for a split second, I could see Axel's surprised face.

I found myself walking down the street. How dare he accuse me like that! I barely know him, but he thinks he knows what's best for me. He should mind his own business...You can't just assume things about people...I remember my neighbors, and friends asking if my mom was eating properly, if she was taking care of herself. They acted concerned, but they never did a thing. They never did at thing to help—

Stop thinking about that, I told myself.

The look on Axel's face when I stormed out was priceless. I chuckled to myself darkly. He was so shocked...

I stopped walking. Where was I going? I don't know the way back home, or the way back to the school, for that matter.

"Roxas!"

I looked behind me to see Axel running towards me carrying two ice creams.

He caught up to me, and stood there, panting, for a second. "I'm sorry for calling you anorexic," he gasped. "And you don't have to eat this if you don't want to."

He held the ice cream up higher; they looked like popsicles because of their bluish color, their square shape, and the fact that they weren't in cones, but were instead stuck on popsicle sticks.

"What kind?" I asked.

"Sea-salt."

I took one from him. "How'd you know?" I sighed, my anger already fading.

"Know what?" he asked, leading me back the way we had came.

"What my favorite kind of ice cream is." I began to eat, and my body reacted: my headache vanished, and a weird warmth spread throughout me. Maybe Axel was right; what I was doing wasn't healthy.

"Lucky guess…well, actually, I'm addicted to this stuff."

We walked past the school, and into a neighborhood—my neighborhood, I guessed, after seeing a few houses that looked vaguely familiar.

"You know you worry over nothing," I said, my ice cream already gone and the stick hanging out of my mouth.

"That was not nothing."

"If you say so."

"Eat more or I'll kill you," he said as we started walking into my driveway. Now he was following me...whatever.

"I'll try."

"Try? That's not good enough."

His voice had a lighter feel to it, like he was joking around. "Fine, I'll go home and eat anything I can get my hands on. Next thing you know, you're telling me that it's not healthy to eat and that I look like a whale."

He laughed. "I only speak the truth."

When we got to the stone path, there was a movement inside and Kelly rushed out. "Roxas? Are you ok?" she cried, running to my side.

"I'm fine. This is—"

I saw Axel slinking around the side of the house.

"Who?" Kelly blinked.

"No one."

"I'm so sorry that I didn't come to pick you up. The nurse called me, and I was so worried, but I was in the middle of painting a bookshelf for your father's study, and I was told that some boy was with you and that he said he'd bring you home," she gushed, flinging her arms around me. I stiffened and waited for her to let go. She did, eventually. "How was your day?"

(Mom) "Good."

"Did the nurses know why you fainted?"

Now we were inside; Sora and Riku were watching a movie, and my dad was nowhere to be seen.

"Low blood sugar."

So, of course, she made a gigantic dinner and forced everyone to eat it.

Then she had all of us sit on the couch.

She stood in front of us, exclaiming, "I have house warming gifts for each of you!"

"How kind of you," my dad said.

"For my honey-bunch," she batted her eyelashes, "a new lawnmower!"

My dad's eyes shone. "Is it in the garage?"

"Yes," she chimed. My dad vanished. "For Riku, a new stereo for your truck!"

Riku seemed pleased, although he continued to sit there.

"For Sora," she continued, almost giddy with excitement, "a DS!"

She handed him a box, which Sora took impatiently, almost forcefully. "Thanks mom!" He began to feverishly tear open the box.

"For Roxas," she tucked her hair behind her ear, and grabbed my wrist. She dragged me upstairs to my room, where she flung open the door with a, "Ta-da!"

I began to step into my room, but after one glance, I stopped dead. "What did you do?"

"I just did some redecorating," she said, taken aback from the hostility in my voice.

"More like snooped."

"I...I just thought you'd appreciate the—"

"Well, I _don't_."

"Oh..." she retreated, leaving me alone with the changes she had made.

My twin-sized bed was gone. Instead, I had a queen-sized bed to the left of the doorway, facing the balcony; the quilt on it had a checkered light-green-dark-green pattern and the pillows matched with their smooth, silky-looking pillowcases that looked like they belonged in a hotel room somewhere. On the wall in front of the bed (and to the left of the balcony) was a flat screen TV hooked up onto the wall. The railing on the balcony had also been fixed, but what upset me the most was the bed. _Kelly_ had gotten rid of my bed without consulting me, without considering that I might be fine with my small bed, might actually prefer it to anything else. I've had that bed for years, ever since my mom had bought it at a yard sale.

A sudden, overwhelming temptation to scream as loud as possible, or to chuck that stupid bed and it's nice pillowcases out the window hit me. It was an overpowering anger that made me clench my fists so tightly that my nails dug painfully into my skin. Why something as stupid as this—and it _was_ stupid—could do this to me, I have no idea. Maybe I was actually mad because that woman was forcing herself on me, because she was trying to act like a mother. Or maybe it was because my dad had grieved, and moved on, but I was unable to do so. I wanted my mom. I wanted my friends. I wanted life before this move, before my mom's demeanor changed. When everything was ok; when I didn't know anyone named _Kelly._

I had a pillow in my hand and was throwing it at the wall. The impact was soft, and it did nothing to release the rage boiling inside me.

I was ripping the sheets off the bed when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. For a split second, I saw my dad standing there in his button-up shirt and dress pants, and then I saw him lift his arm and lunge towards me.

I felt myself falling onto the bed, my ribs aching as I gasped for air.

He didn't say anything, just gave me an angry look, and stepped over me to grab the pillow I had thrown. He set it back on the bed calmly. As if this was a perfectly normal, perfectly rational situation.

He left me laying there, breathing heavily.

It was nothing, I thought as the knifing pain continued to pound.

It was nothing, I thought as I fixed the bed.

It was nothing, I thought as I finally caught my breath.

It was nothing, I thought as I tried to fall asleep.

And like everything else, I pushed it away to the far corners of my mind.

XxXxX

"I love these things," Sora bit into a tootsie roll, his other hand swinging his pillow case around.

Riku nodded, glancing back at me to make sure I was still there.

Halloween, one of many pointless holidays. I was forced to go trick-or-treating with tweedle dee and tweedle dum. Sora dressed up as a vampire; black cloak, fangs. Riku is dressed up as a surgeon; green scrubs, a lot of fake blood. I am dressed up as well...as in I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

I flipped my phone open. "It's almost midnight!" I called.

Sora and Riku fell behind to walk with me. "Really?" Sora whined.

"We have to get back," Riku said.

"You have enough candy," I pointed out.

Sora held up his bulging pillowcase. "You think?"

"Yes, let's just leave already."

"Maybe a _few _more houses," Sora suggested.

Riku shrugged and soon they were back to walking up the street with me following behind them, bored out of my mind.

They were knocking at someone's house while I stood there, tapping my foot. I don't see why I had to come, I thought. Riku knows his way around.

I watched a group of kids run by. They rushed past the street light and then disappeared.

An odd feeling passed over me, and I looked up. The sky was black; no stars...no moon...

The wind picked up, making my hair fall into my eyes. The atmosphere had changed, somehow, and it made everything feel deadly silent. I heard thunder crash in the distance just as Sora and Riku stepped out onto the street.

"It's going to rain," Riku said.

"I fwink it avedy is," Sora mumbled. He took the fangs out of his mouth. "I think it already is."

He was right. It started off slow, just sprinkling enough to make the temperature drop a few degrees, but a moment later, all hell broke loose, and the three of us were soaked within seconds.

"Let's go!" Riku started jogging down the street with Sora and me in tow.

The rain kept falling in my eyes and it was getting hard to see. I couldn't hear anything over the booming thunder and the pattering rain colliding into concrete, grass, leaves, clothing.

I saw a flash of headlights as a car inched down the street. It stopped next to me, and I squinted to try in vain to see who the driver was.

Sora and Riku must have noticed that I had stopped and came back to see what I was doing.

Riku wiped is dripping hair out of his eyes as the car window rolled down.

Axel was sitting there, peering out at us. "Do you want a ride?" he called.

The three of us immediately jumped in, me in the front, Riku and Sora in the back.

"Hi," I muttered, relieved to be out of the rain.

"Hey," Axel said, pressing a button to blast heat.

"Thank you," Sora said.

Axel nodded. He was driving pretty fast...although I don't know how he could possibly see the road.

"We live on—" Riku started.

"I know," Axel cut him off.

I sat back on the seat, shoving my hands in my pockets in an attempt to conserve body heat.

"I never introduced myself. I'm Riku."

"And I'm Sora."

"I'm Axel."

"Hey Riku, you should do some of your impersonations," Sora smiled.

"No I shouldn't."

"Yes you should!"

"No. Later, ok? I promise."

"Now!"

"Later."

"Now!"

"Later."

"Now!"

"Later."

"Whyyyyy?"

"My impersonations are for you and only you," Riku purred, his voice soft. I'm sure Axel could hear it, though, if I could.

Sora giggled, and finally shut up. Thank you Riku, I thought dully.

We pulled up to the house and Sora and Riku instantly hopped out.

I had my hand on the door handle, but something made me pause. This school week had been bearable, surprisingly, and I was finally getting comfortable with Axel and his group.

"Don't like Halloween?" Axel asked suddenly.

"Not particularly." I looked down at my drenched clothes, then at Axel. He was wearing a black shirt that had dark red strips on the sleeves. "What about you?"

"I love all holidays," he grinned, obviously trying to annoy me.

"But you don't have a costume."

"I'm going to a Halloween party, and they give you costumes there." He paused. "You could come, if you wanted to."

Under any other circumstances, I would have said no...but something made me agree.

I took my hand off of the handle, not even bothering to tell anyone where I was going. Axel threw the car into reverse, and we sped off.

"Your brothers give me migraines," Axel complained, the car turning onto a dark street.

I watched the rain sliding down the window. "Try living with them."

He laughed at my dark demeanor. It's weird, the darker my mood, the more amused he seems to get.

"I'm not actually related to them."

"Oh?"

I shook my head. "They're my brother-in-laws, I guess."

He didn't pry, although I had a feeling that he wanted me to tell him more...instead I asked, "What kind of party is this?"

We were in front of a brightly lit up house. Axel parked, and said, "It's just something Demyx threw together."

I followed him up to the house where he ran the doorbell. The rain had let up, thankfully.

"Hello? Oh, glad you could make it!" Demyx beamed upon seeing us, opening the door wider and letting light pour out onto the grassy lawn. He was wearing a black shirt and black pants with bones printed on them.

He let us inside the entryway where a coffee table was set up with a bowl of bright candies and an ominous-looking box.

"Axel, Roxas," he said seriously, using a deep tone of voice that didn't suit him at all. "Pick your poison."

"Uh, what?" I asked.

Axel rolled his eyes, shoving his hand into the box and pulling out a single piece of white paper the size of my thumb. "It's something he does every year, making us pick our costume and wear it against our will."

"What is it, what is it?" Demyx asked, almost beside himself.

"Cat," Axel said flatly, which I had already learned meant he wasn't happy.

Demyx laughed with glee, reaching into a closet to the left and pulling out a plastic bag.

"Oh god." Axel revealed the contents of the bag: a black, fuzzy cat ears headband, a black leotard, gloves, and a tail. "You can't make me wear this, Demyx."

"If you don't wear it, you can't come in," Demyx crossed his arms.

"Maybe I don't want to go to your lame party."

"I threw the best parties, and you know it. Besides, didn't you want to..." he glanced at me uncertainly.

"What?" Axel blurted out.

"Didn't you want to," he lowered his voice, "get Larxene back for stealing your car to drive to Hershey Park?"

"Oh, _that_," Axel laughed. "Hell yeah. She didn't even bring me any chocolate and I wasn't able to get to work for a week."

"I'd help you with it, but I'm going to have my hands full..." He gave Axel a knowing look. "Besides, she'll _murder_ you."

"Yeah, probably."

"Anyway, if you don't wear the costume, you can't come in."

"Fine." Axel slipped the headband on, and the gloves, but threw everything else into the bag.

"That's not—"

"It's good enough."

Demyx glared at him for a moment, but he never seems to stay mad for long. "Whatever. You can get away with it this time, because you're my friend. Now, Roxas, you're turn."

I sighed; why did I come again? I had just spent the last minute standing here, having no clue about what they were talking about, and now I was going to have to dress up.

I reached into that dreaded box, and pulled out a piece of paper.

The word scribbled across it was werewolf.

Demyx leaned over my shoulder and soon he was trying to get me into a horrible, mangled, gray, hairy...thing.

"I don't want to," I pushed the bag away.

"You can't be the only person not wearing a costume!" Demyx griped.

"Demyx, not everyone appreciates your good ideas," Axel interjected.

"I do!"

"My point exactly," Axel sighed.

Demyx frowned, shoving the bag back into the closet. "I'll tell everyone that I ran out of costumes, so they don't think they can get away with it too."

I shot Axel a grateful look, and he gave me a slight grin. With cat ears, his face seemed even leaner.

We entered the party itself; within seconds I had the urge to cover my ears. The place was packed with bodies. I hardly recognized anyone, and they didn't seem to notice me as they milled about drinking from plastic cups while Halloween music floated down from somewhere. The noise was earsplitting, and the place was too hot.

Axel seemed to know everyone. He was talking to someone dressed up as a zombie, while I stood there awkwardly. I hate social events, I really do.

"...yeah, it's been pretty busy. Brandon, this is Roxas. Roxas, this is Brandon," Axel was saying.

"Hi," I mumbled.

"Hey, nice to meet Axel's newest project," Brandon joked.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Axel barked.

"You are freakin' popular, that's what it means."

"Compared to you, I am."

Brandon shoved Axel out of the way with a, "In your dreams!" and left.

Axel looked down at me. "Are you ok?"

"Huh?...Yeah. I just have a headache."

"Wanna drink?"

"Um, sure."

We found the refreshments, which consisted of: popcorn, candy, fruit punch, soda, Little Debbies, Pizza Rolls, and more candy. I was expecting alcohol for some reason. I'm too use to Hayner, I guess.

We got drinks, and I followed Axel back into the crowd. I noticed Larxene staring at me. I could feel her eyes, daggers, penetrating into my back once I passed her. She had on all white, including white face makeup, so I assumed that she was a ghost. Why does she seem so mad?...Why do I get the feeling that she hates me?

"You got dragged into this too?"

I flinched, seeing Zexion standing next to me. He was wearing...oh my god. I couldn't help but laugh and he gave me a look that said 'shut up, I didn't want to wear this stupid thing.'

He was wearing a green skirt that looked like flower pedals. He had a t-shirt on over the top of it, but I could see where the wings stuck out of his back. The skirt alone was enough to make anyone crack up.

"Are you a fairy?" I asked.

Zexion sighed heavily. "Yeah. Did Axel bring you?"

I glanced over to see Axel standing a few feet away chatting with Xion (who was dressed like a witch) and some boy (who was dressed like a homeless man). "Yeah," I said.

"Time to play hide-and-go seek!" Demyx proclaimed from somewhere.

"Uh, I'll see you later," Zexion crept away.

Axel came up to me. "I'm guessing you don't want to play."

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"He does...erratic things if he finds you."

"Like?" I took a sip of my drink.

"Like screaming in your ear or revving a chainsaw."

"Oh."

We heard Demyx counting down and everyone in the room scattered.

"Since I still haven't gotten my revenge, we'll have to hide. C'mon."

He dragged me out of the room, but not before I got a glimpse of Demyx covering his eyes as he called out twenty-five.

We ran into the kitchen. Axel glanced around, then yanked a cabinet under the sink open and shoved me in.

He smiled at my sprawled form; I was sitting among various bottles of cleaner, my head skimming the top, and my legs sticking out at odd angles.

He put a to his mouth, telling me to be quiet, and closed the door.

I sat there, silent, my legs already cramping up. It was really uncomfortable, and I couldn't move an inch.

The cabinet door to my left opened and Axel bowed in, obviously more squished then me, but somehow he managed to fit. He shut the door quickly, his elbow ramming into my side for a second.

A minute passed or less, before Demyx found us.

He threw the doors open, grinning like a child who got away with going to bed at ten instead of nine.

He had the kitchen sprayer in his hand, and was pointing it straight at Axel's face.

"Demyx, don't you dare," Axel growled.

Demyx grinned wider, and shot water directly at Axel; then he sprayed me, although with much less enthusiasm.

Axel and I climbed out from under the sink as Demyx howled with laughter. I was still wet from getting rained on, so I didn't mind, but Axel was pissed.

"DAMNIT DEMYX!"

He grabbed the sprayer from Demyx and squeezed the lever, shooting water all over him.

"That doesn't bother me," Demyx said, still laughing.

Axel snarled, abruptly letting the sprayer go. It zipped back into place, and Axel grabbed a pan of cold spaghetti that was sitting on the stove.

Demyx began backing up nervously with his hands up. "Hey, I'm sor—"

Axel hit him over the head, strands of spaghetti mingling into his hair and falling to the floor.

He set the pan back while Demyx picked spaghetti out of his hair.

Axel's shirt was even darker from the water, and pieces of his hair was sticking to his face. He straightened after setting the pan down, his eyes meeting mine.

I swiftly glanced away, unease making me fidget suddenly. No one seemed to notice.

"It's just a little water," Demyx groaned.

"A _little_?" Axel wrung out the edge of his shirt, making water drip onto the floor.

"Why didn't you stop him, Roxas?" Demyx whined, stepping around Axel to chuck spaghetti into the trash can.

"It was entertaining," I said.

"That's mean!"

Axel laughed. "Want some more entertainment?"

Demyx pointed his finger at him. "No," he said sternly. Then he pointed at me. "Don't give him ideas. Last April Fool's Day he filled my pool with jell-o."

Axel leaned against the counter, smirking. "You loved it."

"Yeah, but I couldn't go swimming!"

"Demyx, don't you have to find everyone else?"

"Oh, yeah." He scratched his head. "How long are you staying?"

"Roxas?" He looked at me.

I shrugged.

"What else are you going to do?" Axel asked.

"Watch horror movies. Well, whatever you want to do." Demyx left to find the others.

"So," Axel said.

"So."

"You're talkative, aren't you?" Axel said, gnawing at a Snickers Bar he seemed to have pulled out of nowhere.

"I'm just tired."

"Ok, we'll leave soon. But first..." He took the ears and gloves off, setting them on the counter. "Payback."


	8. The Game

Sorry if I made anyone lose the game...the name of the chapter is justified, I swear.

~KeedaxEmry

"Larxene is deathly afraid of spiders. Nothing else scares her, got it memorized?"

I nodded.

Axel reached into the trunk of his car and pulled out a small white box. He opened it, letting me peek inside at the black spider. "Now we just need to figure out a way to get it crawling on her without her getting suspicious...which is why you should do it."

"What?"

"She expects this from _me _not _you_."

"But she already hates me!"

He gave me a confused look. "Hates you? She acts like she hates everyone."

He closed the box and gave it to me.

We re-entered the party.

Eventually we found Larxene, who was sitting on the couch alone, eating chocolate and reading a magazine.

Axel and I were standing across the room from her when Demyx appeared.

"I can't find Zexion!" he exclaimed.

"Did you check the closet?" Axel asked.

"No," Demyx said slowly. He left and a few moments later, we heard him yell, "I found you!"

Axel shook his head. "He's _always _in there."

"Uh, Axel?" I pointed at Larxene, who was standing up and walking away.

"Follow her!"

He gave me a shove, and I pushed through the crowd.

As it turned out, it was pointless to follow her. She went to the refreshment table to get a bottle of water, then went back to sit down. I glanced at Axel; he was nodding vigorously. I sat down next to her, setting the box on my lap.

"What do you want?" she growled, taking a swing of water and crossing her legs. She balanced her open magazine on her leg.

"Um, I was wondering what your costume is," I choked out. Axel was watching us carefully.

She snorted, and continued to stare at her magazine.

I inched the box open to see the spider was crawling up the side. Before I knew it, it climbed out the side and landed on my leg.

I shuddered, watching it's eight legs stroll across my pants. I'm not particularly afraid of spiders, but they do creep me out to an extent.

What am I suppose to do? I slid closer to Larxene until our legs were touching, willing the spider to climb onto her.

She looked up at me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

I paled. "I'm...I'm trying to read your magazine."

She laughed harshly. "You like Seventeen?"

"Um, yeah, I adore it."

The spider was at the edge of my thigh and I shook my leg slightly. Get off, get off, get off, I prayed.

"Stop touching me."

"But, I..."

She straightened, rolling up her magazine in her hand, and began to stand up.

"Wait!" I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back onto the couch.

Her face flushed angrily. "For the last time. Stop. Touching. Me," she snarled, throwing her arm out of my grip.

"Sorry, it's just I love you." My face burned as I realized what I had blurted out.

Her eyes narrowed; oh god, why did I say that?

"You _what_?"

Axel was dying of laughter; he had his hand to his mouth and his shoulders were shaking violently. I ignored him, and swallowed hard. "I…love you," I managed.

"I'm sorry, but I could never love a pint-sized, snot-nosed brat."

I couldn't take this anymore, I would have to touch the spider. I swatted at it with one swift motion, and it landed on Larxene's knee. "I understand."

The spider twitched, and froze up out of fear. How long would it take her to notice?

"Now, listen here," she put her face in mine. "You may have wooed everyone else, but I can't stand the sight of you. I see your face and I start to gag."

"Why?" I couldn't help asking.

"Do I need a reason?" She made to stand up again, and that's when she started screaming.

She took her magazine and hit the spider, then she jumped up off the couch. "Where'd it go?" she exclaimed hysterically.

"It's still on—"

She screamed again, shaking her leg. The spider fell to the carpet, and she stomped on it more than once.

Her breathing came out in shallow pants, and she stood there silently for a moment. Everyone in the room was laughing. Her water bottle had rolled away from the couch, water gushing out, and her magazine was crumbled in her hand.

"You!" she turned to me. She grabbed the collar of my shirt and lifted me off of the couch; the box fell and landed with a dull thump. "You little punk," she spat.

"Let go!" I tried to push her off me.

She released my shirt, only to slap me hard across the face. It stung and made tears ooze out of my eyes.

"Hey, calm down." Axel was there, holding onto Larxene's wrist.

"Calm down?" she snapped. "Your friend over there made a fool out of me, and he is going to pay," she said, gnashing her teeth at me.

"It was my idea."

She looked up at him, and squirmed out of his grasp. She snatched the water bottle and attempted to empty its contents over Axel's head.

He danced out of the way. "This is what you get for stealing my car."

"I had a good reason!"

"And what's that? So you could gorge yourself with chocolate?"

Larxene growled, and launched herself on him.

Axel fell to the ground with her on top of him, actually laughing as she tried to pull out all his hair.

Larxene took a fistful of his hair and gave a giant yank, making him wince.

"Larxene, get off," he moaned, pushing her off with both hands.

Some guys grabbed her and pulled her away while she screamed insults and curses.

Axel began to laugh his head off, but I punched his arm. "What?" he stopped.

"She tried to kill me!"

"I stopped her, didn't I?"

"Did you expect her to react like that?"

He paused. "For the most part. If you hadn't made it so obvious, she wouldn't have attacked you."

I frowned at him.

"I'm sorry, geez!"

I ignored him, and instead I pulled out my phone to check the time. 1 New Message, it declared on the screen. It was from Hayner: What's up?

I was about to put "nothing" when my phone turned off with a beep. I shoved it back in my pocket. "Let's go."

I followed him back to his car; luckily the sky was clear and the rain had let up.

"You're going to kill us," I said as Axel swerved his car onto a long, deserted road. The wheels spit up gravel and dust before reaching the pavement, where the car stopped shaking as much and rode smoothly.

"No, just you. The air bag will crush you."

"Will not."

"What are you, four feet?"

"No, I'm five feet," I sulked.

"Just five feet?"

"No! Five foot…something."

Axel snorted. "I think Larxene's taller than you."

"Shut up."

I looked out the window. Thee was a full moon, which made it pretty easy to see the flat, empty field we were driving through and the lights in the distance.

Suddenly, the car made a horrible grinding noise. Axel gave the steering wheel a weird look, as if that would make the noise go away. We slowed down, then stopped with a screech.

"Shit," Axel muttered, turning the car off. He twisted the key, but it wouldn't start, no matter how many times he tried.

He hit the steering wheel with his hands.

"What's wrong with it?" I asked.

"I dunno," he sighed. "Do you have a phone on you?"

"Um..." I pulled it out of my pocket, forgetting that it was dead. I held it up for him.

"C'mon, we have to walk."

We stepped outside. Instantly, I was chilled to the bone, my wet clothes zapping any of my body heat. Axel moaned, and muttered something about Demyx.

"We can get someone to tow it at the nearest gas station," Axel said as we began walking down that long strip of road.

"Why does Demyx have to live all the way out here?" I tucked my hands in my pockets.

"You ok?" he asked when he saw me shivering.

"I'm fine, stop asking," I protested.

"I'm going to kill Demyx for getting me wet."

"I'm sure."

"Are you anti-social or something?"

I blinked. "First anorexic, now this?"

"You were dying at the party. You were acting like Zexion, not talking to anyone and just kind of standing around."

"I'm not a people person."

"I couldn't tell," he said jokingly.

We were quiet for a little while; I was desperately trying to ignore the wind biting my face and the dampness of my hair and clothes. I use to live in the mountains, this is nothing, I thought, trying to convince myself.

"Let's play a game," Axel suggested.

"Sure."

"Uhhh," Axel scratched his head. "What games are there?"

I racked my brain, mostly coming up with things that would be impossible to play. "I-Spy, Truth, R—"

"Truth?"

"It's like Truth or Dare."

"What are the rules?"

"Tell the truth."

"That's it?"

"Yep."

"How do you win?"

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"You just can't," I said, annoyed.

"That's no fun...I got it. The first person who refuses to answer a question loses."

"Ok."

"Ask a question."

"Hmm, what's your favorite color?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "You can ask anything, y'know."

"I know."

"And you ask that?"

"Yeah."

He shook his head. "...red. Where did you use to live?"

"Helena, Montana. What kind of music do you like?"

"Rock. When's your birthday?"

"September twenty-seventh. Yours?"

"May eighteenth. What do you do in your free time?"

"Read or listen to music."

"That's an exciting life you have there, Roxie."

"What the hell did you just call me?" It's that stupid nickname that Naminé gave me; great, now he's using it.

He laughed. "Now give me a nickname."

"Axel the narcissist?"

That just made him laugh more. "It's your turn, _Roxie_."

I sighed. Now that he knew it annoyed me, he'd never stop saying it. "How are you a senior taking Biology?"

He grinned. "Flunked. Who's the most annoying person in the world?"

"Are you baiting me?"

"You can't answer a question with a question."

"I just did."

"Answer the question, Roxie."

"Fine. I'll give you a hint. The person is tall, too-skinny, full of himself, and red headed."

"Wow, that sounds just like my cousin," Axel said mockingly.

I shot him a look.

"No, really, who?" he asked more seriously.

"I don't know, you're pretty annoying...I guess I'd say Kelly."

"Who's that?"

"Hey, it's my turn to ask. Do you have any siblings?"

"No. Who's Kelly?"

"My idiotic stepmother. Most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?"

"When I was in second grade, I was in a school play. I felt sick all day, but no one would listen to me, and I ended up spewing my guts all over a girl's head."

"Ew."

"What's your biggest pet peeve?"

"Know-it-alls."

"That's not a pet peeve."

"Yes, it is."

"No. Pet peeves are things like nails scratching down a chalkboard."

"Um...cussing," I decided.

"Shit, really?"

I shot him another dirty look and he chuckled. "What do you want to do after high school?" I asked.

"Mooch off people. You?"

"Go to college and..."

"You only say that because that's what adults have carefully rammed into your head."

"At least I won't be a bum like you."

"Ooh, look at what bites back."

"I can do more than bite."

He leaned his face close to mine. "I'd like to see that."

I flushed, sidestepping away from him and kicking the back of his knee. He didn't even stumble, but instead kept walking like nothing had happened. "Roxie, you're scaring me," he teased.

"Shut up. Who's turn is it?"

"Mine. Want to pull a prank on your brothers?"

I looked at him suspiciously. "First off, that doesn't count. Second, what kind of prank?"

"I don't know."

"Do you just like pulling pranks on people? I need to know for future reference."

"Just people who get on my nerves."

"Like Demyx?"

"Yep. What are you most afraid of?"

"Bunnies."

"What?"

"Bunnies."

"What?"

"I'm _kidding_."

"Oh."

"Um, death."

"More specific."

"I don't know…I have this fear that someone will fall asleep and never wake up."

"Someone?"

"Just in general," I waved my hand. "Like when someone's sound asleep, and I can't hear their breathing, it makes me think they're dead. And stop asking me more than one question."

"I can't help it, you're so interesting, Roxie."

I rolled my eyes. "Best childhood memory?"

"When I burned my neighbor's garden."

It was my turn to ask, "What?"

"Hey, that's _two _questions," he pointed out happily.

"It's a good thing that you burned your neighbor's garden?"

"That's three," he smirked. I silently cursed myself. "And now I will have to ask three consecutive questions, once I am done answering yours."

"That's not the rules."

"It is now."

"You can't do that."

"Fair is fair. Let's see...I was setting a flower on fire and—"

"You were setting a flower on fire?" I couldn't help blurting out.

"Four," he stuck his tongue out at me. "I love to set things on fire. So, I set it on fire, and sat there watching it to make sure the fire didn't spread. But the phone rang inside, and I was young and stupid enough to go answer it. By the time I came back, my neighbor's garden was burning. It was the biggest garden I've ever seen," his eyes shone, "and my neighbor was in love with it. I swear he was a child molester, or something, because he gave off the creepiest vibe. So I wasn't in a hurry to get water. Anyway, he came home when I was still hosing his dear roses off. The look on his face was _priceless_. He started sobbing over the ashes, and cussing me out. I got in trouble, of course, but it was worth it."

"That's kind of messed up, evil pryo."

He laughed. "My turn. Your favorite place to be?"

"Bed."

"That's bluntly honest," he said, amused. "Have you ever broken a law?"

"I shoplifted candy once, when I was really little and didn't understand the concept of stealing."

"And that's it?"

"Yeah."

"You're more innocent than I thought," he snickered. "...I think we're getting close to a gas station."

"Yep and soon I'll be able to go home and sleep."

Axel yawned at that. "And get dry clothes on. Um, what's one thing you want to do before you die?"

"Go to Lake Powell."

"Why?"

"That's one too many questions," I mocked. "And my parents would always talk about it. They use to go there a lot before I was born. What's your natural hair color?"

"You're lookin at it."

"I don't believe you."

"This game's called _Truth_."

"You could still lie."

"I would never do that!" he exclaimed innocently.

I shook my head. "What's your favorite food?"

"Anything spicy. I know how gross this sounds, but are your brothers dating?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Long story short, Sora's my brother-in-law and Riku's his boyfriend."

"Sooo, Sora is Kelly's son and Riku decided to live with you guys?"

I nodded. "Where do you work?"

"Half Moon Bakery."

"Do you drink?"

I was making it so he never got a chance to ask a question, shooting inquires at him. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, smirking in a way that said "You can get away with this _for now_."

"That's the randomest question yet...why, do you hate drinkers?"

"Some of them."

"I have before," he scratched his head. "But hangovers _suck _so I try to avoid alcohol."

Now we were in the parking lot of the gas station, and I started to ask another question, but Axel cut me off.

"We'll finish our game later." He held the door open for me. The dingy gas station managed to be warmer than outside and my fingers began to tingle.

"How can I help you?" the man sitting behind the counter asked.

"Do you have a payphone?" Axel reached into his pocket for his wallet.

"It's over there," he nodded towards the far corner of the store.

"Thank you."

Axel called for a tow, and hung up. "Want anything before we head back?" he gestured towards the shelves.

"All that walking just so we can walk back," I groaned.

"Yep."

He grabbed a large bag of Skittles, and we left after paying.

We began walking all the way back.

"Who's turn is it?" Axel asked, ripping off the seal on the Skittles with his teeth.

"Mine. What's your favorite movie?"

"Don't have one. What was your old school like?"

"Much smaller. What's your favorite movie genre then?"

"Comedy. What all did you eat yesterday?"

I glared at him. "Will you let that go?"

"Never. Want some?" He held out the bag of Skittles, and I took a handful. If I didn't, there would be no end to it.

"For your information, I ate cereal and ramen and salmon with rice AND cake."

"Wow, Roxie, I'm proud of you."

I set a red Skittle on my tongue, letting it dissolve while I thought of a question. "What's your religion?"

"Custom."

"What?"

"I don't know, I believe in _some_ things, it just depends. It's not like I go to church every Sunday. You?"

"Atheist."

"You don't believe in anything?"

"Nope."

"Ghosts?"

"Fake."

"Adam and Eve?"

"No."

"Ok, what happens after you die?"

"You die. That's it."

"So it's like falling asleep, except you sleep forever? That's depressing."

"Yep, pretty much."

"How many questions was that?"

"Six, including the one you just asked."

"You were counting?"

"Yep. Seven. My turn," I looked up at the moon. "Favorite school subject?"

"Lunch."

"Worst school subject?"

"Math."

"Best thing to do in Baltimore?"

"There's a lot of different things...boating, shopping, concerts, movies, conventions, shows."

"Have you ever had a pet?"

"Yes, I had a dog once named Zoey but she ran away after a week."

"How did you become friends with Demyx, Larxene, Zexion, and Xion?"

"You know, this is really unfair."

"You're the one who made up the rule! And I still have two questions."

"Geez...I've been friends with them forever. Except Xion, I just met her a couple months ago."

"What do you think of her?"

"She's quiet."

"If you could do anything right now, what would you do?"

"Sleep."

"_Anything_."

"Ok, fine...I would learn how to read minds then save the world from terrorists."

"Your turn."

"Finally! What's the most annoying thing about Kelly?"

"She never shuts up. Where were you born?"

"Here. How can you stand living with...uh, what's their names?"

"Sora and Riku."

"Yeah, them."

"By blasting music. What's the meanest thing you've ever done to someone?"

"One time, I convinced Demyx that he was dying."

"That's screwed up, Axel."

"I didn't think he'd believe me! I told him that bruises are a sign of a rare disease and he freaked out..." He shoved the empty bag of Skittles in his pocket. "What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?"

"Tried to fly. Instead of flying, I broke my arm."

Axel laughed. "How old were you?"

"Six. Have you always been this tall?"

"Yes, I was born this way," he sneered.

I made a face at him. "Where do your parents work?"

"Dentist office. Ever been out of the country?"

"Yes, to Italy. You?"

"No. Have any weird diseases?"

"Nooooo. Should I ask you that question?"

"Only if you want to, Roxie."

"No weird diseases?"

"Nope. Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Technically." Why did I say that? I would've been easier to say—

"Technically?"

"She lives in Montana, and she wants to break up."

"O-kkkk. And you don't want to?"

"I guess it doesn't really matter. We live on opposite sides of the country," I paused. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No, and I feel f-r-e-e. Is that girl from Montana the only girlfriend you've ever had? I'm riding on a hunch here."

"What's that suppose to mean? And, hey, you asked me like three questions already."

"It means that you're inexperienced and naïve," he grinned. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"If I'm inexperienced, then you're a whore."

"I thought you didn't like cussing..."

"Whore is not a bad word."

"Sure it isn't, Roxie. And you never answered my question."

"Yes," I sighed.

"Ha! I knew it."

"Oh yeah? Name everyone you've ever dated."

"That would take too long, and, besides, that's not a question."

"Fine. Have you and Larxene gone out?"

"Urggg," Axel moaned.

"You have to answer or I win."

"We went out for about a week, but I broke up with her."

"Why?"

"She was sleeping with a creepy, older guy, who happened to be my neighbor...and she still has the hots for me."

"I couldn't tell," I said sarcastically.

"You can't blame her though, with me being this amazing."

"Your ego is showing again."

He shoved me towards the side of the road. "How do you want to die?"

"Like everyone else, I want to die in my sleep. Are you a virgin?"

To my surprise, he blushed and gave a small cough.

"Oh my god, you are!" I bursted out laughing.

He frowned. "Teenagers having sex is just stupid."

"If you say so," I giggled.

"Seriously. Hey," he brightened suddenly. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile, much less laugh."

I immediately frowned. "And you'll never see it again."

"Oh, c'mon, Roxie." He grabbed my cheeks and pulled upwards. "Look, you're smiling again."

I pushed him off. We were already back at his car; we sat at the side of the road to wait.

Axel yawned again. "I'm freaking tired."

"At least tomorrow's Sunday."

"I guess, but I have to work."

"Ha, you have a job," I poked his ribs.

"Yeah, but at least I don't have to live with your brothers."

"We can trade."

"No, I need the money."

"For what?"

"For anything and everything."

"My guess is more candy."

"And other junk food as well," he laughed.

The tow finally came, and I was dropped off at my house.

"We'll pull a prank on your brothers later," Axel said. "I have to get my car fixed first."

"Ok."

"G'night."

"Good night."


	9. Weird

Yes, Riku is a legal phenomenon. :)

This chapter is dedicated to Lilly...and anyone else who has had to deal with that kindof crap.

ALSO: I am sorry I haven't updated in forever, fanfiction was being really really really mean to me. I just screamed at the computer out of utter excitement that it is finally letting me upload this! Thank you for being patient! I couldn't be happier~ ^-^

~KeedaxEmry

"If you could make anyone at this table your slave, who would you pick?"

I glanced around the table at my options. "Zexion," I decided.

"Why?" Zexion muttered, pouring over a book like always.

"Because you could do my homework for me," I grinned.

"Stop helping him cheat," Axel complained.

"How's that cheating?" Larxene stabbed slice of tomato with a little too much enthusiasm. "This game is pointless."

I turned to Axel. "I thought you said she'd be over it."

He shrugged. "I don't understand women."

"You put a spider on me!" Larxene shrieked.

"Whoa. I don't remember that," Demyx said.

"You were busy at the time," Zexion murmured.

"Oh, right," he beamed. "What's this game called again?"

"Truth. And it's my turn," I said.

"No, it's not," Axel protested. "You just asked a question."

"That was not a question."

"Yes it was."

"Who's cheating now?"

"You're the one who asked Zex—"

"Will you two shut up?" Larxene barked, glaring at us.

"Fine, ask," I gave in.

"What were you like as a kid?"

"I whined a lot and was really clingy."

"Oh, that's surprising," Larxene said sarcastically.

I ignored her. "You?"

"I was rebellious. The second someone told me not to do something, I was doing it. What food would you eat everyday if you could?"

"Cereal!" Demyx exclaimed.

Axel shot him an dirty look.

"What?" he whined. "Why can't I play too..."

"Because," Axel sighed, "we already know _too much_ about you. Roxas, do you have your cell phone on you?"

I gave him a wary look. "Yes, why?"

"Let me see it."

I gave it to him, and he pressed a few buttons and gave it back. I looked through the menu, finding out that he had put his number in, under the first speed dial. "You replaced the speed dial that calls my dad's cell," I said.

"Yeah I know." He grinned. "Here."

He gave me his phone, and I put my number in as well.

"Now it will be easier to play," he glanced around the table as if daring anyone to say otherwise, "without interruption."

"Well, so-rrrrrrrrry," Larxene grumbled. She pushed her tray towards Xion, and the rest of us followed suit, like always.

Xion stood up, her hands clutched in front of her stomach. "Why...do I...h-h-have," she stuttered. Larxene gave her a fierce look, which would scare anyone I'm sure, and she gave a little frightened squeak, grabbing her own tray. She quickly began to stack the trays in her hands.

"Wait." Axel grabbed my tray before she could, and set it in front of me. Xion scurried away before he could say anything else.

"What?" I asked.

"You didn't eat all your pasta."

"The food here is disgusting."

"Eat it."

"No!" I pushed the tray away.

We started fighting, pushing the tray back and forth.

"I think you scared her, Larxene," I heard Demyx say.

Axel and I stopped fighting in time to see Xion pushing the cafeteria doors open and retreating to the hallway.

"Stupid baby," Larxene sneered. "New kids give me stomachaches."

"Uh," I blinked, "aren't I..."

"Yes," Zexion nodded.

Demyx put his arm around my shoulders. "Without us, you'd be eaten alive!"

I shrugged him off.

"Actually, without Axel, you'd be eaten alive," Zexion said coolly, his head still bowed over some book. "By us, and everyone else here."

Axel was staring at Zexion angrily, while Zexion turned the page, calm as ever. Demyx was hunched over, laughing hard, like it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. Some people around us gave him weird looks, then hurridly turned back to their own tables as Larxene, smirking, spat something at them. "I'm confused," I finally said.

No one said anything.

Zexion gave Axel a "go ahead" gesture, but Axel kept quiet.

"Axel?" I asked uncertainly.

"Isn't it obvious?" Larxene giggled, a cruel, shrill sound.

"Shut up, Larxene," Axel growled.

"Ooh," she put her hand to her mouth, as if trying to hide her smile. "Did I say something I shouldn't of?" Her voice was high pitched and annoying; the kind of voice you use when talking to a baby or a dog.

"Ignore them," Axel muttered to me. "They're idiots."

"I'll tell him," Zexion looked up from his book.

"Don't, Zexion." Axel had a panicked look on his face, and it made me nervous; what did he not want to say? That he'd protect me? What's so wrong with that?

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"Do you know how cruel people are here?" Demyx poked my head.

I turned towards him, but not before I saw the relief that had poured into Axel's features. "Uh, no."

"Exactly. You wouldn't know because they're afraid that if they mess with you, he'll kill 'um," he jerked his thumb towards Axel. "New students, like Xion, have a really hard time."

"Do you guys hate new students too?"

"N—"

"Yes!" Larxene jumped at the opportunity. "We hate each and every one of you."

Demyx shook his head. "No. If you're Axel's friend, you're our friend."

"So if I wasn't Axel's friend...?"

He smiled at me. "We would make your life a living hell."

"That's nice," I exhale loudly. "Axel?"

"Huh?"

"If what they're saying is true, you're very protective."

"Yeah, yeah," Axel said exasperated.

"Like a puppy or a mother," I smirked.

"I hate you guys," Axel muttered.

"Then we're doing something right," Larxene got up and left.

I grabbed my tray and went to throw it away while Axel pretended to be engrossed in a poster at the other side of the cafeteria.

I was walking back to the table when the bell rang. I turned to my left to head to class, catching a glimpse of red hair.

"Hey," Axel said, appearing next to me in the crowd of high schoolers.

I acknowledged him. "What's Larxene's favorite kind of cheesecake?"

"Any kind," he looked at me. "Why?"

"I'm going to make her one."

"You don't have to. She's not that mad at us."

"It's no big deal, I like to bake."

He laughed at that.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"I never knew my little Roxie liked to bake," he teased.

We stepped into the hallway.

"How many times am I going to have to tell you to shut up?" I sighed.

"A lot," he grinned. "Wanna ditch class?"

"And do what?"

"It's a surprise."

I began climbing downstairs to the first floor, fully aware of the fact that Axel's class was on the other side of the building. "But we have a test in Biology."

"So what?"

"Delinquent." I shook my head. My foot slipped on the smooth surface of the top stair, and I began to fall backwards.

Axel caught me in a split second; he had his hand on my back and his other hand was gripping my arm, steadying me. "Karma," he chuckled.

"Stupid stairs," I groaned.

"Don't blame your clumsiness on the stairs." He let go of me, and we continued walking.

"I'm going to be late because of you."

"I didn't do anything," he said with a falsely defensive tone. "Anyway, we should go get real food...or something. As long as it's not class."

"No."

"But, Roxie," he whimpered. He sure is persistent, I thought. Almost as bad as Sora.

"Why are you following me?"

"You're different. Other people get scared when I follow them."

"I wonder why."

He started to laugh right when the bell rang and I shot him a look, and lengthened my stride.

"It's not my fault," he said. The hallway was completely empty and his voice seemed to echo off the metal lockers. "I _will_ get you to ditch one of these days."

"Sure you will."

"Are you always this sarcastic?"

"_No_," I said just as sarcastically.

I opened the door to the gym, dreading the teacher who would be like "why are you late, class has already started", etc.

"Bye, Roxie." Axel disappeared.

XxXxX

"One cup of butter, one and a half cups of sugar, five eggs, two cups of cream, and one teaspoon of vanilla," I said to myself, checking to make sure I had all the ingredients. "Where is the vanilla?"

I went through all the draws and cabinets again, frustrated. Kelly had rearranged things, something she seemed to do on a daily basis. I couldn't help but notice for the first time that Kelly is a health freak. No wonder why Sora goes crazy for sweets, I shook my head. Soymilk, vegan cookies, Kashi cereal, thousands of fruits and vegetables, whole wheat bread, and organic peanut butter crowd the kitchen, replacing the usual chips and candy. Seriously, who would eat this crap? I twisted the cap off the peanut butter in curiosity to find what looked like thick, liquidized peanuts.

I sighed, running my hand through my hair and putting the peanut butter back on the shelf. "Kelly?" I called, walking out into the hallway.

"Huh, sweetie?" She appeared, opening the bathroom door which let out waves of steam; she was wearing a pink bathrobe and her hair was wrapped up in a towel.

"Where's the vanilla?"

"It's in the refrigerator."

Idiot, I thought.

I went back to the kitchen, and sure enough, it was right next to the milk. I set it out with all the other ingredients, wondering briefly why I was doing this in the first place.

I began mixing the butter, cream cheese, and sugar in a bowl. I can't believe I still remember how to make this, I thought. I would always make this for Christmas, and every year my mom would say it tasted better each time I made it. Last year, we accidently spilled cinnamon into the mixture...it tasted pretty funky...I guess that won't be happening this year...

I looked down at the metal beaters violently tearing through a slab of butter and sending goop flying, the electric mixer vibrating in my hand and making it numb.

I switched it to my other hand, trying like always to keep my mind blank.

I wonder if Axel will call or text me, I thought suddenly. Hmm...

I grabbed my phone to check. Nope, nothing.

I set it on the counter, my hand still making side-to-side motions with the mixer. I turned it off and began to add the eggs.

My phone buzzed, and I snatched it in a heartbeat. Geez, what's wrong with me, I thought as my heart pounded.

I quickly pressed the phone to my ear without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hi Roxas," Naminé said.

"Oh..."

"Is something wrong? Were you expecting someone else?" she asked, her voice low.

"Um, no, no," I said quickly.

"Ok," she perked up. "Whatcha dooin'?" she sang.

"Nothing, making cheesecake," I said uncertainly. She never seemed this cheerful or bubbly.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"I got my art pieces accepted into this really big competition and they're going to be showcased in this museum the next town over and it will give me really good publicity," she gushed.

"That's great, Nami," I smiled.

"I know, I can't believe it to be honest! My art is going to be next to Vanessa's and Willard's sections and I really don't deserve it, they are so amazing!"

I said, "Uh-huh", like I knew what she was talking about.

"And next week I'll be able to meet them! And I'll be able to talk to other great artists! I can't wait! So, um..." She exclaimed, then suddenly paused. "The reason I called…well, uh, what have you been up to?"

"I've just been...going to school. This is kind of random, but do you remember that dream you had about the forest and the creepy guy—"

"Yes and I had another dream with him the other night actually."

"Really? Because my friend looks _exactly_ like him."

"Er, no way," she said awkwardly.

"What was it about?"

"Never mind."

I scoffed. "Tell me!"

"Never mind!" she exclaimed. "Um..."

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah...did you meet anyone cute at school?"

"This again," I groaned.

"Roxas, I'm sorry...but we both know this would never work out..."

"How do you know?"

"You can't help...who you...fall in love with," she forced herself to say.

"What? Who?" I blurted out.

"No, that's not what I meant," she said, her voice back to being quiet and soft.

"What did you mean then?"

"I…I don't know..." Her voice cracked, and she started to cry.

"Naminé! What's wrong?" I cried out.

"It's nothing...I should go..." She sniffed. "Good-bye Roxas."

"Wait, Nam—"

There was a click, and then silence. I dialed her number in rapid fire; it rang and rang. I tried again and again, and eventually someone answered.

"Hello?"

"Kairi, can I talk to Naminé?" I asked impatiently.

"She's busy," she said frigidly.

"Is she ok? I mean, she sounded perfectly fine but then she started crying and—"

"Please don't call here anymore."

"What? Kairi, let me talk to her!"

"Just let it go."

"You're one to talk! I'm sure you're still crying over Sora!" I yelled into the phone.

"Naminé doesn't need you in her life anymore," she said harshly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, aggravated.

"This is for the best. Bye Roxas."

She hung up, and I held the phone to my ear for a few moments, confused out of my mind. Why did Naminé start crying like that? She sounded so happy then-BAM!-she starts saying weird things and hangs up on me.

I shook my head and set my phone back on the counter. I expected my emotions to go haywire, but nothing happened. I felt blank, if somewhat numb and unbelieving. I could keep trying to reach her, I guess. Sooner or later, she would answer.

I sighed, and dumped the rest of the ingredients in, thinking about how weird women are. My eyes kept flitting from the bowl to my phone, hoping that Axel and I could keep playing Truth, or that maybe Naminé would call and explain things.

The batter splashed out of the bowl and splattered onto the counter, and onto my phone.

"Arg," I moaned, wiping my phone off with my sleeve. I should move it, I decided reluctantly. I put it back in my pocket, after turning the sound up.

Ok, I thought, setting the mixer to the side as I began to pour the mixture into the pie crust.

My mom loved Naminé like a daughter, I thought abruptly. Every day, she'd give me tips; things she thought would help me overcome my nerves and ask Naminé out. 'Soon Naminé Tippet will become Naminé Peyton,' she'd giggle. I remember how she reacted when I finally asked Naminé out to the movies...

Mom. _Mom._ I found myself gasping, tears suddenly rolling down my cheeks, the image of her beaming in my head.

Stop it, I told myself, rubbing my eyes. Don't think about that.

But mom would never want you to break up with Naminé like this, that evil voice came back. And leave everything hanging...

Think about something else, think about something else...

But I couldn't help it. My mom was a ghost constantly following me, lurking in the shadows and waiting for my guard to drop so that she could reveal herself. So that I would think about how it should have been, how it would have been. If I had stood up for her, maybe she wouldn't—

I wept harder, my insides ripping and churning and shredding. I let the tears come, but I didn't want anyone to hear me, so I let the pain roll over me, while my shoulders shook silently.

"Roxas?"

I froze when I heard Sora's meek voice. I wiped my face off with my sleeve, forced myself to stop crying, and turned my head to look at him.

He was fidgeting, obviously uncomfortable at finding me here sobbing. He had on dark blue flannel pajamas: the shirt was buttoned up to his neck, the cuffs rolled back from his hands, and his pants were way too long, bunching up over his feet. For some reason, it reminded me of a little kid finding his parents eating Santa's cookies.

"I'm fine," I said viciously, rubbing my eyes fiercely.

"But you're not."

I glared at him, but he stood his ground. "You use to barely eat...I guess that has gotten better, but you spend all your time alone. You won't let anyone get close to you, no matter how hard we try. What's wrong?"

"I don't spend all my time alone," I interjected. "I spent Halloween with Axel and...and..."

He gestured at me to go on, and when I didn't say anything, he said, "Exactly—"

"Well, that's beside the point," I said, getting more frustrated by the second. "You wouldn't understand with your perfect mother and boyfriend."

"Roxas, I know how horrible—"

"Shut up!" I screamed. "You have no idea! No...idea..." I had started weeping again, and couldn't speak, yet alone breath properly. He just _had _to bring that up, when he knows that's the last thing I want to talk about. Seriously, what is up with him? He acts like a kid one day, then he acts like...this.

"Everyone has a past..." he said softly. I expected him to tell me about his dad, but instead: "Do you know why Riku's here?"

I shook my head, even though I wanted to say something along the lines of "to cling to you and to annoy the hell out of everyone else."

"His parents were drunks. They would get so trashed, that they wouldn't be able to think straight, and it turned them violent and angry. Every once in a while, they'd get so drunk that they would kick Riku out. In the morning, Riku would confront them, and they'd have no idea what he was talking about. He would show up at my house sometimes...it kind of freaked my mom out, to be honest, but he begged her not to call social services. This starting happening more and more frequently, and Riku couldn't stand it anymore. Since then, he's been living with us."

I wanted to say "you shouldn't use your entire vocabulary at once" but I didn't. "Didn't his parents notice that he moved here?" I managed.

"They didn't care."

"Wouldn't social services or someone take him away?"

"Mom already got the legal stuff taken care of."

We were silent for a few moments. My nose was running, and I kept sniffing, which seemed really loud in the silence. "Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

"...I don't know. To tell you that you're not alone...or something..."

His moment of not-complete-idiocy was obviously over, I thought. "Can you hear how stupid you sound?" Please go away. I don't need this.

"Roxas...I..." he said sadly.

"Are you coming?" Now Riku was here; I kept my back turned, staring down into the smooth, white surface of the cheesecake.

"One sec—" Sora cut off, giggling. "Get off!"

I spun around. "Will you two leave me alone?"

Riku had his arms wrapped around Sora's stomach, and he was taking steps backwards, dragging a blushing Sora with him. He shot me an evil look. Great, he still hates me, I thought.

"Didn't see you there," he said coldly.

They left, Sora giving me an apologetic look and Riku seeming indifferent.

I shoved the cheesecake in the oven and went to my room. I looked in the mirror, hating the things I saw: my face was red, and there were bags under my eyes from lack of sleep.

Instead of focusing on that, I washed my face and changed into pajamas.

I went and laid in bed, turning on the TV. I have an hour until the cheesecake will be ready, I thought, staring blankly at some weird sitcom.

By the time the cheesecake was done, I was feeling pretty sluggish. I crawled into bed, praying that I would be able to get sleep.

So the pattern continues, I thought some time later. Two nights in a row I would get barely any sleep, and on the third night I would crash. Repeat this unendingly.

I tried to think about school, about my friends, about anything that would let me relax; it didn't work. I would end up thinking about my parents, what Naminé had said, about Sora-and what he told me about Riku-and for some reason, Axel.

Axel, I thought, shifting to a more comfortable position. That was random. He is, really, the only friend I have here...Larxene hates me, Zexion is just...there, Demyx treats me like anyone else, and Xion...I don't know what to think of her, although I'm pretty sure she's afraid of me. At least Axel...

I drove my head further into my pillow. Axel's just...but I couldn't think of what he was. Lithe and graceful like a cat, somewhat annoying, a smart-aleck...I know a lot of random things about him, because of Truth, but other than that...

I sighed. I need to get some sleep, or I'll be a wreck tomorrow. I turned to my other side.

I wonder why Naminé acted like that on the phone...maybe she got a boyfriend? But she said that wasn't it. The more I thought about this particular subject, the more annoyed I got. Yes, I was confused, but now that I think about it, what's her problem? She could have at least explained what was going on; I would have understood. That would have been better than just hanging up on me. What would make her do that? Is it something that only happens to girls?...like PMS or something?

I found myself sitting up in bed, my eyes straining to see through the dark. It was pointless to try to sleep, I thought, since it obviously wasn't working. But what should I do...?

I decided to go for a walk, stumbling through my dark room, grabbing shoes and a jacket. I got outside with no incidents, because everyone was asleep, except for Riku and Sora who were laughing and clearly too preoccupied to notice the front door gently creak open.

While I was out there, my only focus was to not get lost. I carefully repeated street names, turns (right, right, left, straight, I reminded myself) as my feet crunched on the leaves that scattered the abandoned, quiet streets. I almost jumped out of my skin when my phone beeped. My stride wavering, I took it out, the glow hurtng my eyes.

1 New Message

I opened it, reading: **Wht r u doin?**

It was from Axel. I glanced around at the houses nearby, uncertain, and put: **Sleeping**

The reply was quick: **No ur not**

**Do u live here?**

**Maybe**

I studied the area, looking for him, but everything was dark. **Where?**

**U should be in bed**

**Ur one to talk**

**R u lost**

**No**

**U look lost **At that, my search for him resumed at a more frantic pace. Where was he?

**I'm not!**

**Go down Maple, first right, down Cherry, third left**

**That's not the way I came**

**I bet its shorter tho**

**Ur creepy**

**I just happened to see u**

**Sure**

**Sarcastic? This late at night?**

**YES. I'm leaving**

**Wrong way**

I shot the house closest to me a dirty look, and headed in the opposite direction. **Thx**

**Ur welcome! Good night Roxie. :)**

**Night.**

Because of that little conversation, I got home sooner than expected. What was expected, however, is that I spent at least two hours laying there, my mind hyperactive as I tryed in vain to fall asleep.

XxXxX

Axel's advice was to drink a glass of wine before bed.

"I don't drink," I said flatly. The cheesecake was wrapped in aluminum foil, and was sitting on my lap, crinkling whenever I moved.

"It's like medicine," Axel said. "It'll help you sleep."

I shook my head. We were all sitting at our lunch table. I was the tired one whose eyes kept closing of their own accord.

"Listen to music before bed," Demyx suggested.

"Ditch class and take a nap," Axel said.

I glared at him.

"What? You look like you're about to pass out."

I rubbed my eyes. "How long til the bell rings, Zexion?"

"Two minutes," he said.

"Here," I set the cheesecake in front of Larxene. "You can keep the pan."

She folded the aluminum back suspiciously. "Cheesecake?" she asked, her eyes narrow.

"Yep."

"What's it for?"

"Eating."

She frowned at me, but wrapped the cheesecake back up and set it on her lap.

"You could at least say thank you," Axel said after a few moments of silence.

She snorted. "I don't see why I should."

"He went out of his—"

I gave Axel a look to shut him up. He shrugged and soon the bell rang.

Axel was following me to class again. "What do you want?" I asked, even though I didn't mind.

"You have gym next, right?" He scratched the back of his head.

"Yeah."

"I don't think you should go."

"Stop trying to get me to ditch."

"No, it's just that you don't look well," he glanced at me, a concerned look on his face.

"Again: you worry too much."

"Do you feel ok?"

"It's just lack of sleep, Axel."

"I guess," he said, unconvinced.

I got to the gym in record time, and the hour of torture began.

I stood in line with the rest of my team. Today we were playing baseball with an oversized ball made of foam. This was for "safety." My team was losing pretty badly, and because my class is mostly filled with competitive, senior guys, they were pissed. I was just trying to stay awake; I kept finding myself staring at a wall, or the floor, or the pitcher, completely zoned out.

Someone was screaming at me: the teacher. It was my turn to bat.

I stepped up and picked up the bat, holding it firmly with both hands. The ball zoomed towards me, and out of instinct more than anything else, I swung wide and the ball flew to the far corner of the gym.

I ran to the first base, but got tagged out. My team groaned, a few of them yelling in their anger.

I went to the back of the line, happy to be getting another break from the game.

"You suck at baseball."

The boy in front of me, Clyde, was sneering at me with his arms crossed over his chest. The gym seemed deathly quiet.

"Uh-huh," I muttered, suppressing a yawn. Even just standing there was almost too much to bear. I wish I could curl up in a little ball and close my eyes...

"You should learn how to run," Clyde smirked. I suddenly realized how much I disliked this kid. The sneakers he wore, his short brown hair, his thin, snake-like, pale face, his gruff voice, it all annoyed me.

"You should learn how to shut your mouth," I snapped.

Silence...then the gym erupted in laughter.

"Settle down and get back to the game!" the teacher yelled. A girl stepped up to home base, and the line inched forward.

Clyde was blushing furiously. "Retard," he snapped, "you had better stay away from her, or I will seriously mess you up. You won't even be able to walk."

I blinked. "Stay away from who?"

"Don't pretend you don't know."

"But I—"

Clyde was up to bat, and I stopped. Who was he talking about? The only girls I hang out with are Larxene and Xion, and that's only at lunch...

Clyde ignored me until the end of class. I was in the locker room, buttoning my jeans, when he shoved past me, almost making me lose my balance.

"You'd better sleep with one eye open," he threatened before leaving.

What was _that_ about, I thought, hoisting my backpack on my shoulders and shoving my gym clothes into my locker. I wasn't really worried, guys like Clyde are all talk...

How wrong I was.


	10. Façade

Clyde kept harassing me throughout the week. Thankfully, I only saw him in gym class, but eventually the threats, dirty looks, and torments got to me. I was beginning to consider transferring to another class.

It was afterschool, and I was tossing my backpack in my locker. I grabbed my hoodie off the small hook, and slammed the door shut with a loud, metallic clank.

Axel was leaning nonchalantly against the locker next to mine, which of course scared the crap out of me. I jumped at the sudden sight of him and a smirk crawled across his face.

He straightened, chuckling. "Happy to see me?"

"You scared me!" I accused, pulling the hoodie on over my head.

"I kind of noticed."

"What do you want?" I grumbled, shoving my hands in my pockets as I began to walk towards the exit.

"This and that...Roxas, did someone hit your eye?" he asked, peering closer at my face.

My hand reflexively touched my eye, which was swollen and hot. My stomach dropped, and that familiar cold feeling gripped my heart, making my lungs feel like they were full of scorching liquid. I knew someone was bound to notice. It was only a matter of time—

My mind froze, thinking back to when Clyde had "accidently" elbowed me when I was tying my shoe after gym class. I wanted to laugh at my stupidity.

I turned my head away from Axel. "A kid in my gym class hit me unintentionally."

"Oh. I always knew gym class was hazardous."

"Actually...this guy keeps threatening me." Why did I tell him that? Seriously, _why?_? Now he was looking at me with his green eyes narrowed into thin slits, his concern distorting his face. Maybe I told him that because of how honest he is with me...it makes it kinda hard to lie to him.

"What's he saying?" he finally asked, his voice low and calm which obviously meant he was furious.

I waved my hand dismissively, wanting Axel to go back to his joking, carefree self instead of this worried, serious one. "That he's going to beat me up. Things like that."

Axel growled. "If he—"

"It's _nothing_."

He glanced at me, but didn't get a chance to say anything because my phone started ringing. We were right in front of the door, so we stopped as I answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Roxas, sweetie. How was your day?" Kelly chirped.

"Fine," I said flatly, pulling a loose string out of my hoodie, and letting it go, to watch it float slowly down to the white tiled floor.

"I'm glad." Her perky voice made me wince and Axel grimaced knowingly. "I was wondering if you could, maybe, pick up some bread on your way home. You see, your father and I were thinking that it would be good for you and him to have some quality time together. So I was going to take Sora and Riku out."

"_No_," I said too quickly and too forcefully.

"Roxas, it would be good—"

"I have plans."

"Oh...you do?"

"Yes."

"Well, ok," she said uncertainly. "Perhaps you could change th—"

"I can't. I have to go."

"Wait, Roxas, honey bear. What are your plans?"

"...I have to stay afterschool for a, uh, a drama meeting."

"Drama?" she sounded surprised, but then her voice turned pleased. "I'm delighted you're getting involved! That sounds like a lot of fun!"

"Yeah, yeah. Bye," I said quickly.

"Bye-bye."

I shoved my phone back in my pocket. "Is something wrong?" Axel asked.

I shook my head, sighing. "I just don't want to go home."

"Then don't."

"What am I suppose to do now?" I mumbled.

Axel's face lit up. "I know what will cheer you up."

"What?" I looked at him warily.

"Just do exactly what I tell you to."

XxXxX

I followed Axel to the office. "This isn't going to work, they're _always_ together," I said doubtfully.

"Trust me on this."

I stepped up to the counter. "Excuse me?" I called to the cow-like woman.

She shambled towards me. "What do you need?"

God, déjà vu, I thought. "I need to find my brother. Could you call him on the intercom?"

"The intercom is for school matters only."

"Please, ma'am, couldn't a pretty lady like yourself help me find him? I can't walk home without him, you see." I was going to have to wash my mouth out with soap and bleach when I got home.

At least the flattery worked. "Of course I could, dear. What's his name?" she batted her eyelashes at me.

"Cougar," Axel mouthed to me. I bit back my laughter, and kept my expression serious.

"Riku Anders," I told her.

A few seconds later, the intercom cracked on: _Riku Anders could you please report to the office._

We didn't have to wait long until Riku appeared; it was a freakin' miracle that Sora wasn't with him. He saw me, but went up to the desk.

"What is it?" he asked the fat woman.

"Your brother there needs you," she said.

Riku approached me. "What is it?"

Axel cleared his throat, and Riku looked at him, as if noticing him for the first time. "I need to ask you something."

Riku crossed his arms over his chest, an annoyed look on his face. "Ask then."

"The thing is..." Axel glanced meaningfully at me.

Riku immediately understood. He sighed, letting his arms drop, then said, "Be quick about it, I have to get home."

The pair left. I sat down to wait, gleefully imagining Sora's face when...

It didn't take Sora long to show up.

"Roxas? Where's Riku?" Sora asked, his voice innocent and confused, like a child who has lost his mother in a grocery store for the first time.

I scrunched my face up in what I hoped was a desperate, miserable expression. "S-Sora?" I looked up at him, and stood up.

"Roxas, are you ok?"

"I'm...I'm..." I covered my face with my hands at the exact right time. It hid my smirk perfectly.

Sora put his hand on my shoulder. "Roxas?" he asked uneasily.

"Riku...ran away."

I looked up to see that Sora's face was already pale and his eyes were staring at me unblinkingly. "What?"

"And it's my fault!" I howled. "This...this morning, he told me that he was going to. B-because he hates us. And I didn't believe him and now he's gone!"

"Riku...Riku?" he cried out, more to himself than to me. He had a panicked, tormented look to him. "We have to find him!"

I swear it looked like he was going to hyperventilate; he was twisting the end of his t-shirt with both hands, and his eyes appeared glassy. He seemed close to tears, especially when his voice cracked and he took a great shuddering breath. I almost felt sorry for the kid. Almost.

I nodded, and pretended to wipe tears out of my eyes. "I...thought he loved you...but...he said that you're just..."

"Just what?" Sora blurted, grabbing my shoulders.

I looked down, as if finding it difficult to say, "Just a whiney, annoying child." Which is exactly what I thought.

I choked back laughter as Sora shook his head unbelievingly. Before I knew it, he had me in a bear-hug with his sobs shaking both of us to the core. He clung to me, squeezing me as hard as he possibly could, and making me groan.

"Come on, let's go find him." I wrenched him off me, thinking that I had given Axel more than enough time.

Sora followed me out of the office and down the hallways. He was reminding me of Kelly, because of the way he was ranting without seeming to breathe. "Why would he leave? What did I do wrong? Was I really annoying him? I can change, Riku. Please don't leave. I'll stopping making you play chutes and ladders with me, I know you hate that game, even though it's the Disney princess edition and...Roxas, how did this happen?"

I shrugged, barely listening to him. We rounded the corner, and found Axel walking towards us.

"Hey, Roxas. Sora," he nodded towards us.

"Axel! Have you seen Riku?" Sora blurted.

"Uh...I thought..." Axel muttered, scratching the back of his head.

"Thought what?"

"Didn't Roxas tell you?" he asked slowly.

I made a slashing movement across my throat, making sure that Sora saw.

"Tell me what?" Sora whined.

"Riku was—"

"Let me tell him, Axel," I said, turning towards Sora gravely. "I didn't want to tell you yet, but now I guess I have to." I took a deep breath. "Riku was leaving. He was on the highway and there was an accident and...the office just told me about it...it was pretty bad and..."

"What...what are you saying?" Sora looked at me desperately, tears now creating a salty mess on his face.

Axel began walking down the hall, and we trailed behind him. "He's dead."

Sora stopped cold. "What?" he whimpered incredulously, his voice hoarse. I was surprised that he had believed my horrible acting, but then again, this is Sora we're talking about.

Axel and I nodded solemnly, although we were both resisting the urge to laugh. That urge vanished when Sora ran headfirst into me, wailing like a baby. He wrapped his arms around my torso and buried his face in my shoulder, his tears already bleeding through my shirt and getting me wet.

Not this again, I thought. Axel sneered at the disgusted look on my face, and I frowned at him. "Where's—" I began to mouth.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Riku screamed from somewhere.

Sora's head rose off my shoulder. "Riku?" he asked, hopeful.

"Oh my god, it's Riku's ghost here to get revenge!" Axel exclaimed.

Sora yelped, letting go of me and clutching my arm instead. "Where is he?" His eyes flitted to the left and right fearfully.

I screamed. Sora jumped violently, and backed away from me. "Riku, don't hurt us!" he begged.

"SORA, HELP!" Riku growled.

Sora blinked, and then he was racing towards Riku's voice. "Wait, he'll kill you!" I yelled after him.

Axel and I tried to catch up with him, but he turned out to be a little speed demon.

Sora suddenly stopped short, and I almost crashed into him.

Riku was forcing the door to the janitor's closet open. I've never seen him look so pissed, especially since Demyx was trying to push him back in. Demyx was panicking, and he looked more frightened than even Sora. He had one hand on Riku's shoulder as he tried to shove him back into the closet; his other hand held a water gun that he was constantly spraying into Riku's face.

"Back demon!" Demyx made a frightened moan-like noise when Riku glared at him, panting from exertion.

Axel and I bursted out in laughter. The kind of laughter that makes your stomach ache and leaves your mind peacefully blank. I hadn't laughed like that in a long time, I thought somewhere in the back of my mind. Quite frankly, it was great to see Riku looking so mad, Sora looking so freaked out, and Demyx looking so scared.

Riku's head cracked in our direction, and, I must admit, I understood why Demyx was so terrified. Riku's silver hair was hanging in front of his face, dripping, and his clothes were also pretty wet. His muscular body was flexed, his mouth was set in a angry scowl, and his eyes had an even angrier light to them. He gave one giant push, and Demyx tumbled backwards. Demyx caught himself quickly, and Riku slammed the door to the closet closed.

"Riku?" Sora asked meekly.

Riku turned towards us. He flushed, furious at the sight of Axel and me, and strode towards us. "I am going to _kill_ you two," he snarled, clenching his hands into fists.

"Riku," Sora sniffed. He was trying to hold back his tears, but they fell anyway. "I thought you...you were d-d-d-dead."

Riku stopped and his expression immediately softened. "It's ok, Sora, I'm fine."

"You...you don't think that...I'm annoying?"

He quickly shot me a dirty look, and then turned his attention to Sora. "Of course not."

Sora ran into his arms, and Riku took to comforting him, rubbing his back and whispering things.

"Let's leave while he's distracted," I whispered to Axel. He nodded. Riku shot us more than one dirty look as we retreated.

Demyx said that he was going to go home to pretend that this never happened, so it was just Axel and me.

I slid into his car beside him, asking, "What now?"

"I'm dying for some caffeine," he pulled the car out of the student parking lot, and drove onto the highway.

I buckled my seatbelt. "Do you think that was a little harsh?"

Axel considered the question for a moment. "Possibly. It was still funny. Poor Demyx probably thought he was going to die."

"Riku does that to you. Who's turn is it?"

"I dunno."

"Ok then. Hmm, what's the first thing you notice about people?"

"Their eyes."

I gestured at him to go on while the car accelerated to pass whoever was in front of us.

"You can tell a lot about someone by their eyes. Like how they're feeling, what they're thinking..."

"Oh yeah? What am I thinking?" I challenged. I looked him in the eyes, and he glanced at me for a split second, then turned his attention back to the road.

"I don't know, but something's bothering you."

I fidgeted at that, thinking about a few things that would fall under that category. Axel could read me like a book.

"What's bothering you?" he asked, glancing at me again.

I turned my head towards the window and watched the scenery rush by. "The Clyde thing—he's that kid in my gym class...and Naminé broke up with me the other day." I found myself adding hurriedly, "Not that I really care, it was just _weird_. She started crying over nothing, then hung up on me. She never acts like that."

"Maybe breaking up with you was hard for her," Axel mused.

I shrugged. "I guess...what's your worst habit?"

"Ah, ah, ah," Axel pointed his finger at me in a chastising way. "You asked me three questions last time."

I groaned. "Does it really matter?...DANGIT." I smoldered when I realized I had asked yet another question; Axel, of course, just grinned wider.

"Who do you miss the most from Montana?"

"I _would_ say Naminé, but since she's kind of making me mad...um...Hayner I guess."

"Who's that?"

"My friend. I wouldn't say we're that close anymore though, because I hardly get to talk to him," I made a face, "and he can be a jerk."

"Wow. You certainly pick the right friends," he said sarcastically. "At least with me you did," he added seriously, although it was apparent that he was teasing me again.

"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and ask the third question."

"What's the weirdest dream you've ever had?"

"I had a dream that Hayner and I were walking down this dark street. We were passing by a warehouse, when we were sucked up by a vent. We fell into this room, that was marked with a large yellow "A." It was filled with a giant bin of apples that Hayner and I had to swim through to get to the next vent, which promptly sucked us up and spat us out in another room-"B." We were just trying to leave the warehouse, but we had to go through the entire alphabet to get there," I chuckled darkly. "Hayner got all the way to room "S", which was the sauna room. He fell behind me, because of all the women," I snorted. "He called, 'Roxas, I can't make it! Go on without me!' then sat with them. I kept going, and got all the way to "Z." It just _had_ to be zombies. It could've been zebras or something-but of course not. They came at me, with blood dripping from their mouths. They surrounded me, and I was frantically trying to find some type of weapon. Then a dog zombie came out of nowhere, and jumped at my face, baring its fangs. That's when I woke up."

Axel was quiet for a moment, then he shook his head. "O-kkkkkkk then."

"You asked," I smirked. "What's your worst habit?"

"Cracking my knuckles."

"Ew."

"What?"

"That'll give you arthritis," I said disapprovingly.

"Will not."

"Will to."

"How do we always end up arguing?"

"Because you always insist on being difficult."

"You're the stubborn one."

"Am not."

"Look, you're being stubborn again."

"That's in your imagination," I pouted. "Ask away."

"Would you rather go blind or deaf?"

"Deaf. It would be harder to be blind, because you'd run into everything."

Axel pulled into a Starbucks parking lot and parked, opening the door and stepping out into the cold air. I hopped out onto the concrete. The second I put weight on my left leg, my ankle throbbed, and pain shot up, making me wince.

"You coming?" Axel asked.

I leaned against his car, willing my ankle to stop hurting. "Yeah, one sec."

"What'd you do to your foot?"

"Nothing, I must have just walked on it wrong." Now I was going to feel guilty for the rest of the night for lying.

I slowly put pressure on it, expecting it to twinge. It felt a little better, so I followed Axel inside to get coffee.

Axel got a chocolate frappuccino with an enormous amount of whip cream piled on top; I got a small cup of plain coffee.

We sat down at a brown booth in the corner. Axel leaned closer to me, and looked down into my cup. He raised his eyebrow and said, "That looks really disgusting."

"At least I'll be able to taste the coffee," I pointed out while Axel spooned whip cream into his mouth.

He glared at me jokingly.

"Um, ok..." I said, taking a sip. "What do you do when you're stressed?"

"Walk, which I think you already figured out," he smiled at me. "What time do you usually wake up?"

"Eight. What's the worst thing you've baked?"

He wrinkled his nose. "I don't know if this counts, but when I was really young, my mom left the turkey out. She was getting ready to cook it, y'know? And I found it and, well, I had never seen an uncooked turkey, so I thought it was an alien, or something. So I got a frying pan and began to beat it, thinking that I could kill it. Eventually I got it through my head that it was dead. I began to bury it and that's when my mom found me. She thought it was funny; I didn't...I'm not really a baker."

I laughed, which seemed to make Axel happy. He smiled, using his straw to swirl his frappuccino in little circles. "Ok," he said, "why do you have that weird look on your face?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know..." he shook his head, then beamed at me. "You never seem that happy. Smile again."

"No," I sulked.

"Roxieee," he whined. "You're adorable when you smile...then again, you're even cuter when you're angry." His pleased-with-himself smile reminded me of the Cheshire Cat again, especially when it grew as I blushed.

"I can't win, can I?"

"Nope. Have you been sleeping better?"

I sighed. "Not really. I slept really good last night, if that means anything..."

"Wine."

"Never. Who was the last person to hold your hand?"

"Hmmmm, Larxene, I think. She'll randomly do that. What are you doing this weekend?"

"Sleeping hopefully. And avoiding Riku."

He laughed. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. "Why do you put up with me?"

He looked at me seriously. "Put up with you?"

This had been something that had been worrying me for a while; Axel didn't need me. I was the one who shoved myself on him...at least, from my perspective, that's what it was like. I cleared my throat. "You have other friends, but I really don't and—"

"Demyx, Larxene, Zexion, and Xion are your friends too."

"Only because of you," I said hopelessly. "I'm moody, and I usually take it out on other people. So why—"

"Roxas, believe me, if I didn't want to be your friend, we wouldn't be here now. Got it memorized?" he said, rather forcefully.

"I guess." My voice sounded melancholy even when I tried to hide it, and I ducked my head to stare at the lightly spotted surface of the table.

"Hey," Axel said softly. "I haven't known you for too long, but you're still the best friend I've ever had."

I looked up at him. "You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not. I mean it."

"You're my best friend too..." I muttered, embarrassed.

Axel smiled, and added cheerfully, "And, remember, if anyone's giving you a hard time, I'll bust their skull open for you."

I allowed a ghost of a smile to touch my lips; I certainly felt better. Axel could do that to me...it was like he knew me better than anyone else, which was strange, considering that I met him only a few weeks ago. Hayner and Naminé didn't even seem to know me that well. Maybe it was because of Truth? I was being (almost) completely honest with him, and we spent most of our time talking. "I'll keep that in mind," I finally said.

"Good," Axel glanced at his watch. "It's getting late. You hungry?"

"Kind of."

"How late do your parents even let you stay out?"

"I don't think it matters, they're probably pissed or the same as usual. As in: Kelly's a pushover and my dad couldn't care less."

"Ok..."

"Ask."

"I'm thinking."

At that moment, I noticed what song was playing: Living on a Prayer, by Bon Jovi.

"It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not. We've got each other, and that's a lot. For love, we'll give it a shot. Oh, we're halfway there. Whoa, livin on a prayer. Take my hand, we'll make it I swear. Whoa, livin on a prayer," Axel and I sang spontaneously. Of course, I sang it under my breath, while Axel sang just loud enough for me to hear.

"Good taste," Axel muttered. "Don't I have the loveliest singing voice you've ever heard?"

"If you say so. One cat screeching sounds just like the next."

"That's a mean thing to say, Roxie."

"And that's why I said it."

"I'm sure," Axel chuckled.

We talked for a little while longer, not even bothering to get dinner. By the time we were sitting outside my house, it was past nine o' clock. I moaned, seeing that the lights were on.

Axel followed my gaze. "Just say you were at drama or something."

I shook my head. "It's not that. I bet Riku told them about our little prank."

"If it helps, I'll take the blame."

"It's fine...I got to go."

"Ok. I'll call you or something, when I'm off work."

I pulled the door open. "See you later."

He nodded, and I got out. He waited to leave until I was at the door; I sighed, preparing myself for the worst. I found myself studying the white boards that made up the porch: they were long, but only a foot wide. The paint was spotlessly clean and the white seemed to glow despite how dark it was outside. Who would use white paint on a porch? Soon it'll get dirty and scratched, I thought. I used the end of my shoe to try to scrape the paint off, but it was stronger than it looked, and didn't receive as much as a nick. I looked to the left: Kelly had bought a porch swing. It's plush, overstuffed cushions made it look comfortable in contrast to the metal beams holding it in place. It would have been impossible to see a thing if the porch light hadn't been shining a feeble light over a section of the porch. I was stalling, and I knew it. I wish I could stay out here longer, but I couldn't take the cold any longer. I opened the door and stepped inside onto the tiled entryway. I glanced around cautiously, leaving the door cracked open. The light above the stairs was off, and it struck me as gloomy, sinister; you couldn't see anything upstairs, only the bottom step where the light from the living room fell upon it.

Someone was up. I heard a slight rustling of clothing, and lead filled my legs.

Maybe if I tiptoe upstairs...

I took one careful step before—

"Roxas?"

I flinched at the sound of my father's voice. "Yes?" I asked, closing the door softly.

"Can you come in here?"

I found him sitting in the living room, the light from the lamp throwing dark patches across his face. "What is it?" My nerves shrieked at me, telling me to run, but my head told me to stay; it could be about something else...he might not even be mad at me...

"Why would you do such a thing?"

"Do what?" I choked out.

"I don't have time for this, Roxas. Answer the question. Now." His voice was full of authority and supremacy. I hated that voice. How it was gruff, and so deeply pitched that I felt like whenever he opened his mouth, sharp razors were being shoved in my ears.

His face was livid, and he clutched his hands in his laps, waiting. Horrible mental images flashed through my head. Frightening, dark images that were, unfortunately, a part of my memory. I blocked them out, but even as I did so, electricity jolted in my legs, tensing my muscles and making me squirm nervously.

"I don't know..." I resisted the urge to cover my face with my arms when he made a sudden movement. He was just crossing one leg over the other.

"You're going to have to be punished. What do you suggest?"

"Ground me...or...take away privileges..."

"But, Roxas, that never seems to work. I can take away your computer, your TV, your cell phone, and you'll still insist on acting this way. Are you trying to embarrass me? Are you trying to make me mad?"

"No."

"How is it funny to convince Sora that Riku is dead?"

"It's not."

"You're _pathetic_," he spat. "How did I raise a son like this? You cause this family nothing but problems. You don't listen, you treat everyone like they're dirt underneath your feet, and you can't even answer a simple question."

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, staring at my feet.

"That's all you can say."

I heard the floor creak, and I unconsciously blocked everything out. Nothing would get through to me when I was like this. Ask me what color the carpet was, and I wouldn't be able to tell you. Ask me what I was feeling, and I wouldn't be able to come up with the words. Ask me why I deal with this, and I wouldn't be able to answer.

_Ringing…?_

"Answer your phone," my dad ordered.

I had ended up on the floor, and my dad was back to sitting on the couch. I sat up, and answered, my voice shaky.

"Hello?" I swallowed hard, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"Are you ok?"

It was Axel.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sound like you saw a ghost."

I ignored that. "What is it?"

"You left your hoodie in my car. Can I come over and drop it off?"

"Umm..." I held the phone away from my face. "Dad? Can Axel stop by and give me my hoodie?"

"Who's Axel?" he asked suspiciously.

"My friend."

"Better get yourself cleaned up first. Wouldn't want him knowing how weak you are."

"Axel?" I pressed the phone to my ear.

"Yeah?"

"Can you come over in a few minutes?"

"Sure. Ciao."

"Bye."

I looked up at my dad; he was reading the newspaper. Just like him, to act like nothing happened. "I'm going to go now," I said uncertainly.

He didn't say anything, so I took that as the initiative that I was allowed to go.

I stood up, my body aching like I had the flu. I went upstairs to put on a long-sleeve t-shirt. I combed my hair, washed my face, put a bandage on to cover a cut on my hand, and went outside on the porch to wait.

I sat on the porch swing. I pulled my legs up to my chest, resting my chin on my knees as the wind blew softly. It was getting pretty cold out here, I thought. The stars lit up the night sky, although I couldn't find the moon. It must have been covered by the gray clouds that were slowly crawling across the sky, moving with the wind.

Axel must be taking his time, I sighed. Why had I pulled that prank on Sora? I shouldn't have.

He would've done it anyway.

No, that's a lie, I thought.

I couldn't help but think that I had deserved this. That I was in the wrong, it was my fault. I knew that was rubbish, but why else would this be happening to me? My mom died because she was too good for me. Too nice, too caring, too loving. It was—

Axel was pulling into the driveway. I saw him get out of the car and throw my hoodie over his shoulder. He was just a black, indistinct shadow, but I could tell from the way he walked and the way he held himself that he was happy about something.

"Hey, Roxie." He jumped the stairs two at a time, light on his feet. "Long time no see."

I made myself stand up, and took the hoodie from him. "Thanks," I said, unable to meet his gaze. Instead I looked down at his shoes.

"Roxas?"

His fingers brushed my cheek; it made pain radiate from that point even though I could barely feel it. I grimaced, my stomach filling with butterflies and my face flooding with heat. Axel was looking at me closely while I tried to smile. I'm sure it looked as fake as it felt.

"What's this?" He held his fingers up for me to see. It was the concealer I had applied hastily.

"It's nothing." I said, my voice quivering.

"Roxie..." he said softly, stepping closer to me. "Who did this?"

His fingers swept over the bruise on my cheek again, this time more gently.

"No one!" I cried out, panicked. "I mean..."

My eyes burned as tears filled them; I _was_ weak. Look at me, crying every chance I got! I wanted to bow my head, and hide it from Axel, but he had already saw.

My throat stung as Axel tried to think of what to do. His eyes traveled over my face, and he bit his lip, concerned. I gave a louder sob, and stepped towards him, closing the space between us.

Without thinking, I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his shirt. I felt his body stiffen up for a split second, then he relaxed and wrapped his arms around my back.

I shook, tears running freely. His cotton shirt felt good against my skin, and the knot in my throat loosened.

He was really warm, I thought, the cold of the night disappearing. I closed my eyes.

A split second later, it hit me. Wait. What was I doing? I probably scared the living daylights out of him! I was acting like _Sora_-crybaby Sora who, only a few hours ago, had done this to Riku.

I pulled away. It might have been my imagination, but it seemed like Axel let go rather reluctantly.

Axel made to say something but I cut him off with a quick and self-conscious, "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "Don't be. Was it that kid? Did he do this?"

...Clyde! It was too perfect! "Yeah," I sniffed.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Axel exclaimed. His body language made it seem like he'd hunt down Clyde and rip him to shreds.

"I didn't want to get in trouble."

"Stand up for yourself!"

I blinked at his angry voice, and he immediately said, "It's not your fault. Sorry, it's just kids like that make me _sick._"

"It's ok."

"Did he get in trouble? Did you report him?"

"No and no."

"Why the hell not?"

I shrugged.

"Then I will."

"Don't, Axel. It's not worth it."

"Not worth it? Look at what he did!" He gestured angrily at my bruise.

"It doesn't matter anymore..." I trailed off, feeling awkward. Axel didn't seem to notice; he was too busy grumbling threats which seem to include Clyde, and various weapons. "I should get to bed."

"Yeah," Axel sighed. I blinked, surprised that he had given up without a fight, but less than a second later, "But—"

"Bye again," I said firmly.

"Bye."

I watched Axel leave, glancin back as he did so, then I went and curled up in a ball on my bed.

Why had hugging Axel made me feel so much better? Why did I do that in the first place?...I must be lonely or something...that would make sense if you think about it. The only people who hug me are Kelly and Sora, which is something that I try to avoid at all costs. I'm used to being hugged by my mom and Naminé and Hayner and Pence and Olette; people I actually like. I guess I miss that more than I realized.

Yeah, that must be it.


	11. Performance

Hopefully I'll be able to upload next week; I'm performing in our spring drama production and...well...things get extremely hectic. That's life though, huh? =/

Ok, I need your opinions on whether or not I should shorten the next chapter. It's about Kairi being a freak, with some SoraxRiku...it's not terrribly important, honestly, and I feel like this story is getting too long. (I can't seem to stop writing, hahaha) So keep it? Cut it up? Get on with Axel? (Good idea, right?)

The reviews really keep me going, so thank you!

~KeedaxEmry

"Coward!" he snapped. "You sneaking around with other people's girlfriends?"

I backed away from him, not wanting to encourage him by fighting back.

It was after gym class; Clyde had followed me down the hall, and was now screaming insults at me. People grouped around us in a semicircle as I stopped and stood in front of him, only a foot in front of a long row of lockers.

"I still have no idea what you're talking about." I made myself seem calm, although my heart was hammering against my ribs. I've dealt with worse, I told myself. He wouldn't—

He put his hand on my shoulder and shoved me. I took a step back to regain my balance, and he seem to take that as a sign that he had hurt me or something. He smirked, "I bet you're regretting it now, aren't you?"

I tried to sidestep around him, but he lashed out at me suddenly, kicking and punching any bit of me he could find. I managed to dodge most of them, ducking and avoiding the vague shapes headed towards me, though one particularly painful kick hit me in a spot on my leg that was already tender. I gasped, and my hand cupped it as it pounded excruciatingly.

Clyde stopped for a moment to catch his breath. I glanced at him, and he sneered at me, panting but obviously delighted at my pain as the crowd egged him on. I was trying to inch away when I noticed Axel pushing through the crowd. He's just going to make this worse, I thought.

He marched up to Clyde, and calmly tapped his shoulder. Clyde's face, which was only a foot away from mine, became confused.

"Excuse me?" Axel asked evenly.

"I'm a little busy," Clyde spat.

"Beat the shit out of him for messing with your friend, Axel!" some girl yelled, which was followed by a bunch of enthusiastic cheering.

Axel shook his head, a mildly disgusted look on his face, and poked Clyde square in the back.

Clyde started to turn around, annoyed, saying, "Wha—"

He didn't have a chance to finish because Axel slammed his fist into Clyde's temple.

Clyde fell back, moving closer to me and further away from Axel. He clutched his forehead angrily. "Who the hell do you think you are?" he barked out.

"I don't think I need to answer that. C'mon Roxas."

I made to follow him, but Clyde jumped on Axel, and the two of them fell to the floor.

They became a blur of aggressive movement. From the grimace on Clyde's face, it would seem like Axel was winning. But it was hard to tell. I didn't know what to do. People in the crowd had begun chanting, ninety percent of them rooting for Axel, and the other ten percent for Clyde.

Axel pinned Clyde on the ground, holding his arms down as Clyde struggled. "Do you want us to get in trouble? Fucking idiot, calm down."

"Get off!" Clyde shouted. He wrenched his arm out of Axel's grasp and socked Axel in the mouth. Axel groaned, and he took the opportunity to kick him in the gut and jump to his feet.

I scooted further away as they grew more violent.

"Break it up!" Lexaeus's voice rumbled over everyone's heads.

The people in the crowd looked at each other, and, a split second later, they scattered, leaving me standing over Axel and Clyde.

Lexaeus grabbed Axel with his left hand and Clyde with his right. He hoist them off their feet as if they were as light as feathers. Axel looked unphased apart from his open, bleeding lip; Clyde looked pretty banged up, with a swollen face. I was sure that he was covered in bruises as well.

"Come on you three," Lexaeus commanded.

"Let go of me!" Clyde struggled, flailing his arms and legs.

Lexaeus shrugged, and let him go. He stumbled, and landed on his knees. He jumped up, baring his teeth furiously. Axel was still dangling from Lexaeus's grip.

Once he was sure that they would be no more fighting, he let go of Axel as well, and led us all to the principal's office.

The three of us followed behind Lexaeus. I couldn't see past his broad back. Axel had put himself in-between Clyde and I, although there was no point to do so, considering Lexaeus would have stopped any violent act in a second.

"You're going to get us all in trouble," I said to Axel.

"I wasn't just going to stand by and watch while he tried to beat you up!"

"Obviously." I shook my head. Now that we were all in the same boat, I felt like I could talk to Clyde in a somewhat friendly manner. "Who's your girlfriend?"

"Taylor," Clyde said, wiping blood off his mouth. When did that get there?

"...um...I don't know who that is," I admitted.

"Didn't even learn her name, did you?" he muttered.

"What's she look like?"

"Gorgeous blond hair, heart-shaped face, hazel colored eyes..." he trailed off, as if lost in a happy trance.

"Still don't know who that is."

"I don't know if I should believe you or not."

"Why would he lie about that?" Axel pointed out.

"I guess," Clyde admitted reluctantly. "Then why did Demyx tell me—"

"Demyx? Where does he come in?" I asked.

"He's the one who told me that you were messing around with Taylor."

Axel cursed. "_Demyx_," he growled. "I shoulda known."

Clyde's eyes flitted over towards me. He seemed much less threatening now, with his red face, and confused eyes. "What?"

"Demyx set this all up, I'm sure of it. Probably to prove something stupid."

"So, Roxas, you never...?"

"No, of course not!" I sighed. "My dad's going to kill me."

"No kidding," we all sighed.

We reached the principal's office, and were told to sit outside to wait. Lexaeus had a quick word with her (after telling us sternly to stay put) and then he left while the three of us settled into the small, uncomfortable, plastic chairs.

"Sorry," Clyde muttered after a moment of silence.

"Demyx should be saying that," I mentioned.

"I feel like such an idiot."

"That's because you—" I kicked Axel to shut him up.

The door opened, revealing the scowling principal. She had short, straight, blond hair and cat-eye classes. She was on the skinny side, and she impatiently bowed us into her office.

Her office as petite as her waist. A brown desk covered in paper, a computer chair, and three chairs that were obviously just placed there filled the room.

The three of us sat down, facing her desk. She sat too, and began to play with a pen, clicking it repeatedly. It was silent; was she waiting for us to own up, or something?

I glanced at Axel and Clyde. Axel seemed bored, while Clyde seemed nervous. Axel noticed me tapping my foot on the ugly carpet, which is one of the things I do when I'm on edge. He gave me an encouraging smile then cleared his throat.

"Miss. Karissa?" he said. I had to admire his courage, especially when her neck snapped towards him, and she stared him down like a hawk getting ready to grab its prey. He stared right back, unflinchingly. "Can we get on with it, please?"

I wanted to wince at that, but I forced myself not to. Both Clyde and I were staring down into our laps. I had the feeling that Axel was use to getting in trouble, while Clyde and I...not so much.

"Mr. Vantwellez, I would think that you would have more respect than that." Her voice had a slight British accent to it, and she spoke with a high-and-mighty tone.

Axel gave a slight nod that was more like a shrug than anything else. "Of course, Miss. Karissa. I just thought that you were the one acting rude."

She just kept clicking that pen thoughtfully. I wish I could have ripped it from her hands and thrown it out the window, but we were in enough trouble as it was. Thankfully, she stopped a moment later, and set it on her desk, folding her hands on top of it. "Clyde Dabney, Axel Vantwellez, Roxas Peyton. I am _extremely_ disappointed in the three of you, and, as you know, we have a strict no-fighting policy. Do any of you have anything to say? Which one of you started this?"

Clyde made a strangling noise, which I assumed was him trying to speak. I was wondering if Axel was going to rat him out, or if, because we had made peace, he would keep quiet.

"It was my fault," Axel said.

"And why did you choose to use violence as a way to solve things?"

"I wanted—"

"No, I started it!" Clyde divulged. "I was beating Roxas up because I thought he was messing with my girlfriend, and Axel stopped me! That's all that happened!"

"Is this true?" she asked.

"Roxas didn't do anything," Axel said. "He never even tried to defend himself."

"From what Lexaeus told me..." she cleared her throat. "Let me get this straight: Clyde attacked Roxas, Roxas let him, and then Axel came and, in turn, attacked Clyde to defend Roxas?"

"Yes, ma'am," Clyde and Axel chimed in agreement.

"Clyde, Roxas never laid a finger on you?"

"No."

"Roxas, do you agree with this story?"

"I...I..." Axel looked at me, seeming like he really badly wanted to say something. Why should they take all the blame? "I kind of—"

"_Don't_," Axel growled, low enough so that only I could hear him. He knew that I was going to place some of the responsibility on myself.

"...yeah," I managed.

"Roxas, since you're new here, and your record is clean, I will let you get off with a warning. But I will have to inform your parents about this event. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Get to class."

I did so, even though I didn't want to leave them there.

The day pasted by slowly; I practically ran to Biology, just to find that Axel wasn't there. I sat down, pretending to read my textbook as I tried to think of what punishment they would have received.

The bell rang, and, after a quick trip to my locker, I dialed Axel's phone number.

I pushed through the buzzing crowd as I listened to the phone ring. There are many different clichés here, I thought as I waited; some Goth boy wearing trip pants practically ran into me as he texted on his phone. I pressed on before he could say anything, just so a girl wearing a revealing tank-top and skinny jeans could try to trip me. Her and her equally slutty friends giggled and sneered when I staggered. I ignored them, and walked out of the building to sit on the grass in the courtyard. This school is—

"Hello?" Axel finally answered.

"Hi Axel. What happened?"

"Not much. I got suspended." I pressed the phone closer to my ear in order to hear him above the loud, obnoxious voices of the other students heading home.

"For how long?"

"Til after Thanksgiving break." For some reason, he sounded distracted, which was unusual for him, because he always seemed to give me his full attention.

I sighed, disappointed. "That sucks. Are you grounded on top of that, or what?"

"Uh, Roxas, I have to go. I'll call you later, k?"

"Um, ok." I blinked when the line went silent.

"Hi Roxas!" Sora practically skipped up to me. Riku was behind him and he didn't bother greeting me. "Are you walking home with us today or are you getting a ride with Axel?"

"Walking," I sighed again.

Sora had forgiven me for pulling a prank on him, although Riku was still pissed about it. At least he hadn't tried to kill me yet.

The walk was all pain and suffering, a constant stream of words pouring out of Sora's mouth as Riku and I nodded and "Uh-huh"ed. Once we arrived home, Kelly tried to get us to eat some weird tofu thing. I outright refused while Sora and Riku tried to choke it down.

I sat at the table, spreading my Geometry homework in front of me. I guess I'll have time to do schoolwork since Axel's in trouble...I groaned, examining a really long word problem.

"Roxas, the school called today," Kelly said, sitting down across from me. I didn't bother to look up while I tried to find the keywords of the problem.

"Uh-huh."

"They said someone was trying to beat you up. Are you ok, sweetie? Do you need ice or bandages or medicine or—"

"I'm fine."

"They also said that your friend stood up for you. I would love to meet him sometime."

"Uh-huh."

"It just makes me so mad," she banged the table with her fist, causing me to glance up, "that the school system is this messed up to let little boys bully other little boys!"

If that was her mad, I wanted to see her furious. Her voice rose in pitch a little, the kind of voice that makes dogs wince, but other than that, she was the same as usual.

"Uh-huh," I supplied, bending back over my paper.

"Maybe we should go out to dinner or something. Would that make you feel better, sugar pie?"

"Not really."

I gathered my stuff in my arms, and locked myself up in my room.

The rest of the day was uneventful: I tried calling Naminé (no answer), and I tried calling Axel (no answer). After that, I gave up and went to bed.

XxXxX

There was only one week til Thanksgiving break, but it was torture. Instead of hanging out with Axel, I was forced to go home and either A. Hang out with my family or B. Avoid them. At lunch, I would mainly talk to Demyx (when I confronted him about the Clyde thing, he just said, "Hey, it proved my point, didn't it? Axel is freakin protective" with a half shrug) because, well, it was easy to keep the conversation going, since he'll just keep talking. They seemed to avoid talking about Axel for some reason.

I was getting worried. For that entire week, I talked to him once. And it went like this:

"Hello?"

"You finally answered!" I said, relieved.

"Sorry, Roxie, things have been crazy."

"I know it. Can you hang out sometime?"

"I don't know. I've been dealing with..."

"With what?"

But, no matter how hard I pressed, he wouldn't say. "Just things. I have to go, but I'll call you as soon as things calm down around here, ok?"

"Wait, Axel—"

"What?" His voice sounded completely miserable and it made my chest ache.

"I..." I stopped myself, swallowed hard, and started again. "What's wrong? Are you in a lot of trouble? Did your parents get mad?"

"You could say that," he laughed darkly.

"Is it my fault?" I asked, sounding just as miserable as him.

"No, o'course not. I'll talk to you later, Roxie."

"Ok. Bye Axel."

It was like we switched roles, and he was now the one with things to hide, the one who was overly sarcastic and temperamental.

I was already sleeping badly, but after that I could hardly sleep at all...

It was the first day of Thanksgiving break. I had spent the night tossing and turning, sleep coming in rough, short, patches. By the time I had fallen into a deep sleep, sunlight was streaming in the window.

"Good mooooooooorning, Roxas!"

Sora barged into my room, making as much noise as a herd of trampling elephants. I threw my pillow at him, my eyes still closed.

"If we don't leave soon, we'll be stuck in traffic!"

"Leave?" I mumbled, my thoughts fuzzy and confused.

"Yeah! Mom and dad are taking us to Six Flags for the day! And you..."

"ROXAS!"

I flinched awake as Sora yelled in my ear. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" I growled, shoving him away from me.

"You fell asleep while I was talking," he sniffed, hurt.

I sank deeper into my pillows, yawning. "Uh-huh."

"No! Don't fall back asleep!"

Desperate, he began whacking me upside the head with a pillow from my bed. "What's wrong with him?" he shrieked.

"Sora?" Kelly came in and Sora stopped hitting me. Not that I could see anything with my eyes closed.

She gently shook my shoulder, and my eyes slowly opened. "Wha?" I drawled. "I'm tired."

"Roxas, you're worrying me."

"Uh-huh."

I would have fallen asleep at that moment if she hadn't yanked me out of bed. Her hand gripped my arm, and, no matter how hard I struggled, she wouldn't let go. And it _hurt_.

"What?" I snapped, annoyed.

Her expression softened. "Are you sick? How do you feel?"

"I'm fine, just let go of me!"

She released me, leaving white finger-shaped marks on my arm. She put the back of her hand on my forehead, and I let her, too exhausted to do anything other than stand there. "Are you sure? Well, you're not warm at least."

I made myself step away from her. "Never felt better," I grumbled.

She clapped her hands together with a, "Emergency family meeting!"

"Wh—"

She grabbed Sora and me and dragged us downstairs to the living room. She had us sit on the couch while she rounded everyone else up.

I leaned back on the couch, not even bothering to fight back. I closed my eyes. Of course, right when I fall asleep, they come, I thought darkly.

"Roxas? You sure you feel ok?"

"Yeah."

"Is it because you haven't seen Axel for a while?"

"No," I muttered.

"I'm not stupid," he pouted. "I _know_."

I opened my eyes to give him a weird look. "Sure you do."

"Yep!"

Riku strode in, Kelly and my dad behind him. Kelly was marching without bending her elbows or knees, and it made her look like an over-excited soldier. My dad walked stiffly, as if dreading this "family meeting." Riku, at least, walked normally. He sat on the couch, pulling Sora onto his lap. I scooted away as far as the couch would allow.

Kelly and my dad stood in front of us, perfectly blocking the blank TV from view. Kelly was wearing a jean skirt that went down past her knees; she had on a black sweater and her hair was pulled back in a high, bouncy ponytail. My dad was wearing khakis and a button-up shirt.

"This is our first meeting as a family. Isn't it exciting?" Kelly sang.

"Remember why we called this meeting, honey," my dad said softly.

"Right!" She pointed at me enthusiastically. She made everything like a performance, I thought dully. "We got several emails from your teachers."

"Ok," I said slowly.

"Each and every one of them said the same thing: that you were having trouble concentrating in class, and that it looked like the cause was lack of sleep. Sora! Show us the evidence!" She pointed at her son.

Sora, delighted to be a part of the demonstration, jumped off Riku's lap. "The evidence," he exclaimed. "This morning, he fell asleep while I was talking. Secondly, the bags under his eyes, the blank expression on his face, and the way he keeps blinking!" At each thing he listed, he pointed them out, his finger almost jabbing my eyes out. He nodded passionately, and sat back down on Riku's lap.

"Riku! Explain our concerns!" Kelly exclaimed, practically dancing in place.

"Uh..." Riku stood up, dumping Sora next to me. "Our...concerns..." He looked at everyone in the room. "It makes you grumpy," he said finally.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Kelly bobbed her head. "And?"

He glanced at her with a sour look on his face. It reminded me of those flat-faced cats who always look like they're in a bad mood. "You're easily influenced when you're tired, which causes you to do stupid things. And—"

"The evidence!" Sora cried out, bolting out of his seat, and pointing straight up. "The trick you played on me that was _influenced_ by Axel!" He sat back down, evidently pleased with himself. Kelly beamed at him, and gave him a thumbs up.

"Thank you, Sora...and..." His voice seemed completely monotone and quiet in comparison to Kelly and Sora's voices. "It makes you act depressed...and...this concerns us because you could, uh, make more enemies, which means more people who would love beating you up...and you could become self destructive, or unstable...and you could start slacking off in school...and failing classes," he finished lamely. He quickly sat back down, with Sora on his lap in the next second.

"Next: how to solve the problem! First we must understand the nature of the problem." She put her hand on her hip, her other hand held out to her side, palm-up. "Roxas, when did this start?" she asked dramatically.

"Ever since you came into my life," I said darkly.

"Well, well, then," she tapped her chin thoughtfully, completely unphased. She was probably expecting a response like that. "The real question is, when did it get _worse_?"

"Ever since I started _living_ with you."

My dad shot me a dirty look, so I cleared my throat. "Um, I mean..." I shook my head. "I don't know."

"That's quite alright, dear. We must now differentiate the problem from the things we only _think_ are problems."

Does she even know what she's talking about? She did mention that she use to be a counselor...like that means anything, she's still an idiot.

"Roxas!" she exclaimed suddenly. "Would it be correct to say that you've been having trouble sleeping?"

What are you, a lawyer? "Yes," I said dryly.

"But you don't feel ill?"

"No."

"Have you noticed changes in your health?"

"Um, I'm tired."

She waved her arms in a circular motion. "And?"

"I seem to get a lot of headaches."

She didn't see the irony in that statement. "To sum up, Roxas is having trouble sleeping from an unknown cause, and it is causing him to lose focus in school, along with other negative effects, and we are all very worried about him. Did I miss anything?"

"No, you're doing great," my dad smiled at her.

"Thank you, darling," she purred. Then she was back to acting determined and theatrical. "We called this meeting to find a solution for our Roxas! Who has a suggestion?"

"Therapy." My dad's suggestion.

"Medicine." Riku's suggestion.

"A trip to the zoo!" Sora's suggestion.

"Peace and quiet." That was my suggestion, and it was, of course, muttered under my breath so that no one else could hear it.

"Those are all _great_ ideas," Kelly beamed. "Now we must pick the _best_ solution to the problem at hand!"

"Therapy costs a lot of money," my dad grumbled to himself.

"I think medicine is the easiest solution," Riku said, "since it would knock him right out."

"A trip to the zoo would make him happy and then he'd sleep like a baby!" Sora smiled at me.

I hated how, for the most part, it was like I wasn't there.

"It seems like there is more than one problem here," Kelly said. "Can anyone identify it?"

From counselor, to lawyer, to school teacher, I groaned mentally.

"He gets in trouble at school," my dad said.

"He bullies Sora and acts sadistic," Riku said.

"He's sad," Sora said meekly.

Kelly nodded at him. "Yes, Sora, exactly!"

"How about we put him on sleeping pills and happy pills?" my dad asked.

Kelly swatted at his head playfully, like he was a fly. "Shush. Roxas, why are you sad?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not!"

"Ok then." I looked her dead in the eyes. "To name a few, my mom's dead, I had to move across the country to live with a house full of brainless dopes, and my best friend got suspended because of me."

"Roxas, that was uncalled for," my dad growled.

"But it's the truth," I shrugged. I gain courage when there are people around.

"Ok, fair enough," Kelly said. "Now we must go through the same process to find a solution for this problem."

"Wait, what's the solution for his sleeping problem?" my dad asked.

"Pills," Kelly said matter-of-factly.

"Oh."

"Sora, the evidence!"

"The evidence," he exclaimed again, having already jumped up, "he cries a lot—"

"I do not!" I said crossly.

Sora put his hand over his heart. "It's ok, Roxas, we're brothers. And," he continued, "he hardly ever smiles, or laughs. He doesn't enjoy my singing, and he doesn't enjoy things that make normal people happy! Like candy and pictures of kittens!" He sat back down.

"Riku, the concerns!" Kelly said.

He waved his hand, not even bothering to stand up. "Same as before."

"Roxas, when did this start?"

"What is the point of this?" I asked impatiently.

"We're trying to help you! So, when did this start?"

"I don't remember."

"The real question is—"

"Can we just get to the solution?" I snapped.

"Ok, ok." She gestured around the room. "Suggestions?"

"Therapy." My dad's suggestion.

"Medicine." Riku's suggestion.

"A trip to the zoo!" Sora's suggestion.

I groaned. "Will you get on with it?"

"Let's vote as a family!" Kelly smiled.

"Pills," my dad said.

Everyone nodded their agreement.

"But that was our last solution. C'mon people, originality!" Kelly ranted.

"Did you ever think that he would be happier once he got more sleep?" Riku asked.

Kelly stopped. "Hmmmm..." she grinned, "you're absolutely right!"

"Are we done?" I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"I believe so, sweet pea!"

"Are we still going to Six Flags?" Sora asked, standing up.

"We'll go on Monday, as long as we can rush order the medicine."

"Ok, mom. Let's go watch Shrek, Riku!"

I went back upstairs, and laid in bed. Of course, _now_ I couldn't fall asleep.

I continued my routine: call Naminé (no answer), call Axel (no answer).

I decided to surf the Internet, because if I didn't, I would die of boredom. Eventually, Hayner was online; I hadn't talked to him in what seemed like ages.

Roxas: Hey

He took longer than usual to answer, but he did.

Hayner: Hey

Roxas: What r u doing?

Hayner: Nothing

Roxas: Have you talked to Nami?

Hayner: Yeah

Roxas: Do you know what's wrong?

Hayner: I don't think it's my place to say

Roxas: What? Tell me!

Hayner: No

Roxas: I need to know! Did I do something wrong?

Hayner: Think about it.

Roxas: What is there to think about?

Hayner: Don't ask me that.

Roxas: I'm confused

Hayner: You shouldn't be

Roxas: Are you mad at me or something?

Hayner: Yeah, kinda

Roxas: What did I do?

Hayner: What didn't you do?

Roxas: Please! Why was Naminé crying?

Hayner: Because of you, idiot

Roxas: What did I do?

Hayner: If you guess things, I'll say which is right

Roxas: Ok umm, not talking to her enough?

Hayner: Nope

Roxas: She misses me?

Hayner: Ha, in your dreams

Roxas: What did I do? I feel like a wrongly convicted prisoner who is on death row.

Hayner: You should

Roxas: Why?

Hayner: We know.

Roxas: What? That makes no sense!

Hayner: That's the biggest hint I have. Did you at least apologize to her?

Roxas: For what?

Hayner: You really have no idea?

Roxas: NO

Hayner: Then I don't think I can help you

He logged off, leaving me staring, dumbfounded, at the screen. First Naminé, now him?

I shook my head, dialing his number.

"Hello?" Hayner sighed. It was weird hearing his voice after all this time, and, through the phone, he sounded older.

"What did I do?" I demanded.

"The thing is, you should know what you did. I have to go," he said coldly.

"Since when do friends treat each other like this? What is wrong with all of you?" I growled.

"What's wrong with you?" he snapped before hanging up on me.

I was more confused than ever. And no one would answer their phones.

XxXxX

On Monday, Kelly picked up my sleeping pills: a small, white bottle with a twist-on cap. It had a giant label on it, reading: "WARNING: KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN." The pills themselves were oval-shaped and light blue.

I put them in my medicine cabinet hanging above my sink.

"Hurry up, Roxas, we want to have plenty of time at Six Flags!" Kelly called from downstairs.

"I don't want to go, I have a headache!" I yelled.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

She gave up easily, I thought a few minutes later, when I heard the front door close. Maybe they figured out that I needed some time alone.

I spent the morning and the beginning of the afternoon lounging around. Watching movies (especially horror ones), trying to find something good to eat (which proved unfruitful), and calling Naminé and Axel (also a failure)—

Wait, my phone was ringing. I snatched it up from where it was laying on the couch. I didn't recognize the caller ID, but I answered anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Roxas. It's Zexion."

"Hi Zexion," I said, confused. "How are you?" I asked after a second of awkward silence.

"Good, I guess," he said, an annoyed infliction leaking through his voice.

"What's up?"

"You don't think Axel's avoiding you, do you?"

"Um, no. Is he?"

"No, no," he said sternly. "But you must be worried, and I'm sure that he hasn't been telling you everything."

"What? Is he ok?"

"He's fine, it' s just—"

The door bell rang suddenly, making me jump and drop my cell phone. I had never heard the door bell before, and it sounded suspiciously like the Meow Mix song.

By the time I put the phone back to my ear, he was saying, "...and he thinks that if he tells you this—"

"Zexion, I didn't hear anything you just said," I said flatly. "And I have to go," I winced as the ringing continued to play over and over.

"It's kind of important," he said, aggravated.

"Ok, ok, keep going."

I walked to the door, which was only a few paces away, as Zexion said, "It's just that after he got suspended..."

By then I was opening the door. The ringing abruptly stopped, and I thought, thank god.

But then I saw who was at the door.

"Kairi?" I gasped.

She looked up at me. She was the same as always. She looked a lot like Naminé, except she was more filled out, had more defined curves, and her hair was a red shade. She appeared to be a little better than the last time I saw her, and she seemed to have put more effort in her appearance today. She had makeup on, and she was wearing a tight, pink blouse, and a short pink skirt to match. She allowed herself to smile slightly at me, although it struck me as sad.

I stared, speechless. Zexion was still talking, and I swallowed hard.

I cut him off. "I'll call you back."

"What? Ro—"

I hung up and waited for her to say something.


	12. Mental

I gawked at her and she started to fidget, uncomfortable. She shifted her weight from her left foot to her right, and back again; she tucked her hair behind her ears and muttered quietly, "Hi Roxas. How have you been?"

"What are you doing here, Kairi?" I asked, still shocked.

"I...I..." she finally looked me in the eyes. "Is Sora here?"

I shook my head. "I'm the only one home."

"Can I come in?" she asked timidly.

I held the door open for her, and she stepped inside. She attempted to give me a hug, but I sidestepped away from her.

"Too soon?" She twirled a ring around her finger, seeming forlorn.

I couldn't help but notice that she still wasn't back to her old self. She had become quiet, and submissive, in contrast to how she was before: tough and independent. It reminded me of Naminé...

At that thought, I peered outside to see if she was there. She wasn't, of course, and I closed the door.

Kairi stood next to the stairs awkwardly. I waited for her to say something. I mean, she was the one who had come across the country to knock on my door. She didn't say anything, and the silence stretched on, starting to make me uneasy. "Are you thirsty?" That was a stupid thing to ask, I thought, annoyed at myself.

She shook her head, her hair falling over her shoulders. "Could we sit and talk for a moment?"

I nodded, perhaps a little too eagerly, and led her to the kitchen where we sat at the table.

"Did you really come all this way to ask how I'm doing?" I asked. "If I recall, the last time I talked to you, you practically hung up on me."

She flinched at the hostility in my voice. "I'm sorry, Roxas, I was mad and..."

"Mad at what? What's wrong with Naminé?" I demanded.

"I don't want to talk about this now..."

"Well, then, I don't want to talk to you at all," I growled.

"Please, Roxas! I need your help!" she exclaimed desperately, trying to make eye contact with me. "I can't live without Sora!" Her voice cracked, but she didn't start crying.

"He seems perfectly happy without you," I said coldly.

"If I get a chance to talk to him, he'll understand!"

"Kairi, even if you did get back together, how would it work out? If you haven't noticed, we're living in _Maryland_ not _Montana_."

"I know," she sniveled. "But I have to try! I can deal with a long-distance relationship!"

"What about Riku? He's living with us too."

Her face became dark and angry. "I have plans for him," she laughed bitterly.

She was creeping me out; the way she said that sounded...well, insane. Who, other than Kairi, would try to get back together with a boy who had _cheated on her_, _moved thousands of miles away, _and then _acted like she had never existed? _"Kairi, how did you even get here?"

She blinked her blue eyes innocently. "I stole my daddy's credit card, of course. He bought me the airplane ticket and everything."

"Your family was ok with this?"

She looked away. "I didn't tell anyone, other than him. So nooooo...Naminé would have killed me if I told her..."

"You could've brought her with you," I muttered glumly.

"She wouldn't have let me come. So, when will everyone get home?"

"I have no idea."

"How has Sora been?"

"Idiotic."

"And?"

"And...cheerful and annoying."

"Him and Riku?"

"Same old, same old. Riku's over-protective of Sora, and Sora is," I paused. "Sora," I said, unable to think of a different way to describe it.

"And?"

"What else can I tell you, Kairi?" I snapped. "They're _happy_ without you!"

"You don't have to put it so bluntly," she pouted.

"Well, you don't take a hint!"

"How happy are they? What do they spend their time doing?"

"Very and they spend their time hanging out. Constantly." I'm like her little spy, I thought, still irritated.

"How far have they gone?"

I buried my face in my hands, embarrassed and aggravated. "How should I know?" I exclaimed.

"Have they hugged?"

"Yes."

"Kissed?"

"Yes."'

"Made out?"

"Probably."

She waved her hand. "Elaborate."

"Why should I, when you won't even tell me why Naminé's upset?"

"I don't know." She smiled maliciously. "Because I can tell Naminé that it's not true."

"What's not true?" I was getting more frustrated by the second, and I badly wanted to rip the smirk off her face and tell her how crazy she was sounding.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," she said in a childish, girly voice.

"I can't believe you," I jumped out of my seat, gnashing my teeth, "you're blackmailing me, but you won't even tell me what I did wrong!"

Her smile turned even sweeter. "I'm just a protective sister. You would do the same, I'm sure."

"If you loved Naminé, you wouldn't be doing this! She's probably worried sick!"

Her grin vanished, and she gave me a dirty look. "I know her better than you do."

I took a deep breath, letting my anger go, and sat back down."Probably. Can you just leave?" I added to myself, "I'm sure they'll find a way to blame this on me..."

"I have to talk to Sora," she whined.

"He doesn't want to talk to you."

"How do you know?"

"I've been living with him for a while now," I shook my head. "What do you see in him?"

Her eyes lit up. "He's sweet and funny and caring and—"

"He's also annoying, loud, and naive."

"He's actually pretty smart." She cocked her head to the side, beaming.

"If you say so..." I grumbled.

"So, Roxas, have you made any friends?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said, confused at the sudden topic change.

"Can I meet them sometime?"

"Sure...wait, how long are you staying?"

"For as long as I can get away with it," she grimaced determinedly.

"Where ar—"

"Don't worry, I'm going to stay in a hotel."

"Don't be surprised if Sora completely rejects you," I brought up.

"Hey, it's worth a shot, right?"

"Uh, sure."

"What should we do while we wait?" she asked suggestively.

I paled. "Uh, I—"

"I was kidding!" she laughed. "You know I love you like a little brother. At least I _use_ to."

"Use to?"

"Remember me saying that if you hurt Naminé, I would make it my goal to hurt you twice as bad?" she asked casually.

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"I was being completely honest." She raised her fist threateningly, but a joking smile played on her lips.

I automatically flinched, and she set her hands on her lap.

"Don't get me wrong, I would love to beat you to a pulp," she said, "and I am only here for Sora, I could care less about you...but did you get in a fight or something? You have the ugliest bruise on your cheek although it is almost healed."

I told her about Clyde, which made her laugh.

"I didn't think it was funny," I said sourly.

"If I was you, I would feel the same. I can't b—" she stopped abruptly. Her eyes widened as the door rasped open.

Accompanied with footsteps was Sora saying, "Next time we're going to go on that ride too!"

The four of them-my dad, Kelly, Sora and Riku-stepped into the kitchen, each of them grinning happily.

My dad and Kelly, walking hip-to-hip, entered first, looking for a brief moment at Kairi and I. Then they went to the refrigerator, presumably to make dinner.

Sora and Riku were behind them. Sora was laughing at something Riku said, so Riku noticed Kairi first. He stopped walking, and narrowed his eyes at her.

Sora, confused, glanced up to see why he stopped.

Sora and Kairi's eyes met; Sora immediately turned pale and blurted (sounding a lot like me), "What are you doing here?"

"Hi Sora," she said slyly. "Hi _Rikuuuu_." The way she said Riku made it sound like she was being polite, but what she really wanted to do was rip every hair from his head and watch him suffer.

My dad and Kelly were bustling around the kitchen. My dad set out the cutting board and a large butcher knife next to the sink. Kelly, while washing her hands feverishly, asked, "Who's your new friend?"

"I'm Kairi," she smiled pleasantly. "It is _very_ nice to meet you, _ma'am_."

Was I the only one who saw behind her kindness? Who heard the sarcasm, and spite in her voice? From the way Riku was glaring at her, and from the panicked look on Sora's face, I would say the children of this household are the smarter ones. Or maybe that was just their natural reactions to seeing her suddenly.

Kelly beamed at her, and my dad seemed indifferent. "I'm Kelly, and this is Oscar," she introduced.

"Mom?" Sora exclaimed. "It's _Kairi_!"

Kelly scrunched her forehead up in confusion, but a second later, her face flooded with understanding. "Kairi?" she echoed blankly, turning off the water and drying her hands off with the towel hanging off the stove.

"Am I the only one here who doesn't know this young lady?" my dad blinked.

Kairi stood up, and folded her hands in front of her thighs. "I just felt _so_ guilty. I couldn't live with myself!"

"Guilty? What for?" Riku asked distrustfully.

She looked from Kelly to him, tilting her head to the side and saying, "For all the mean things I said, of course!", as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I briefly wondered if her voice was annoying everyone else in the room too. It was falsely high-pitched, and innocent, reminding me of Larxene.

"Oh, that's sweet of you," Kelly said. She started chopping onions with loud, rapid "whack" noises that were issued whenever the knife was brought down on the cutting board.

Kairi stepped towards Sora, and he took an uncertain step back. "Can I talk to you?"

"Go ahead," he said unsteadily.

"In private?"

Riku stepped in front of Sora. "Can't you say it in front of everyone?"

Kairi met his eyes stubbornly. They stared at each other for a while, both of them waiting for the other to back down. It made an image pop in my head: two cartoon characters staring each other down with the same intensity, but with electricity sparking and shooting between the pairs of eyes. Kairi's jaw was set determinedly and her eyes had a fire to them. Riku crossed his arms, unimpressed, and stared her down unblinkingly. It lasted until Kairi rubbed her lips together and looked away, nervous, saying, "I think Sora would prefer—"

Sora shook his head frantically from behind Riku.

"Will you hurry up and say what you came here to say?" I spoke up. "So I can get to bed."

Kairi shot me an evil look, and twisted her hands in front of her. "Well, I...I..." she looked desperately at everyone in the room: Kelly met her gaze with a small smile, my dad squinted at her, puzzled, I smirked, knowing she was about to burst from the pressure, Sora avoided her eyes completely, and Riku frowned at her angrily.

She bowed her head, blushing. "Sora, please!" she cried. She pushed Riku out of the way, and tried to embrace Sora.

Sora screeched in fear, grabbing her arms and holding her away from himself while she squirmed.

Riku yanked her off Sora and she crumbled against the wall the second he let go. "Why..._why_, Sora?" Her pretty face distorted, and she started sobbing. "Why would you pick him over me?"

She pushed past Sora and Riku, and disappeared after slamming the front door shut.

My dad summed up everyone's feelings when he said, "That was...weird."

XxXxX

After dinner, I went upstairs and laid on my bed to read. Eventually, Sora and Riku showed up and sat down next to me.

"What do you want?" I asked, turning the page.

"What did you and Kairi talk about before we came home?" Sora inquired.

"Apparently she stole her dad's credit card, flew all the way here to win you back and is now staying at a hotel until her parents force her to go back home," I said imperturbably.

"She's crazy," Riku muttered.

Sora and I nodded in agreement.

"What are we suppose to do, Riku?" Sora whimpered.

"I have no idea...it's not like you didn't make it obvious that you weren't interested..."

"I know!" Sora sniffed. "She's _scary_."

"She's worse than you, Roxas."

I looked up from the paragraph I was reading to give him a dirty look. Then I thought better of it, and shrugged. "Thanks, I guess." From Riku, that certainly was a compliment.

"Riku, Roxas is way better than she is! And you can't insult my brother," Sora poked him.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just think—"

Sora lowered his voice. "We've had this discussion before. And not in front of him."

"Ok."

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Sora raised his voice cheerfully. "We could do something together!"

"Like?" I prompted.

"I've always wanted to go to that Egyptian mall! Sound good?"

Riku nodded and I shrugged indifferently.

"What are we suppose to do if Kairi comes back?" Riku asked.

"Hmmmm, lock the doors and ignore her!" Sora said happily.

They left, and I took a sleeping pill and fell asleep as soon as my head hit my pillow.

With everything that was going on, I completely forgot to call Zexion back. I still hadn't heard from Axel, which did leave me with an odd empty feeling. Meanwhile, I was just bidding my time.

I did go to the mall with Riku and Sora; it was pretty boring, all window shopping and walking, until I was leaving yet another store. Someone grabbed my arm and dragged me back.

It was none other than Kairi. Now she was wearing a white sweater that was lined with large buttons and a pink, pleated skirt. "How did you find us?" I asked suspiciously.

"I have ways," she grinned.

"You don't give up, do you?" I said.

"Never, I'm a Tippet!"

That struck me as funny, but before I could laugh, she continued, "Where did Sora and Riku go?"

"Uh..." I glanced out the window of the store to see them entering FYE. "Over there," I pointed it out.

"Good!" she exclaimed, determined as ever. "I can make this work for all of us."

"Meaning?"

"Get Sora and me alone, and I will _force_ Naminé to talk to you."

"More blackmail," I sighed.

"Everyone wins!"

"Really? What about Riku?"

She pursued her lips in thought. "Hmmmm...I know!" she snapped her fingers. "I'll invite him to the wedding!"

"Kairi, please give up," I groaned. "You sure are happy today."

"It's because I have willpower and self-discipline."

I snorted. "Sure, you do," I said sarcastically. "Will you just leave me alone..."

I started walking out of the store, but she grabbed me again. "Wait!"

She whipped out a cell phone (which was a hideous shade of hot pink) and pressed it to her ear. "Hi Naminé," she grinned as my eyes narrowed.

"Yes, I know...uh-huh...I'm working on it...duh..." Kairi blew her bangs out of her face, annoyed. "It wasn't a stupid thing to do!...like you'd know!...gah you're impossible!...no…I know...yeah..." she shook her head. "I'm getting sidetracked here. Naminé, answer your phone when Rox—"

I finally decided to grab the phone out of her hands. "Naminé?" I asked.

The line went silent.

"Roxas?" she said finally.

"GIVE ME THAT!" Kairi exclaimed, wrenching the phone from my grasp.

"Hey!" I growled.

She held the phone over her head as I tried to grab it. Each time I came close to reaching it, she would whip her hand in the opposite direction.

I finally gave up, and Kairi smiled, satisfied. Jerk, I thought resentfully. I should put _her_ on my hate list...

"Anyways, Nami," Kairi continued, twisting a strand of hair around her finger, "if Roxas calls you, answer, k?...yeah I know…no, I doubt it...he still has no clue...I don't know..."

My ears strained desperately to hear the other side of the conversation, but it was impossible to hear anything.

"Yes...ok...love ya too. Bye," Kairi hung up. "Now will you help me?"

"You're cruel," I clutched my teeth together. "..._fine_." I looked away from her, because I couldn't stand the selfish, gleeful look on her face.

"See, that wasn't hard! We need to come up with a plan...this could be tough..."

I laughed sullenly. "Not really. Just follow me, and keep out of sight."

"Ok," she agreed.

I found Sora and Riku as they walked out FYE. They were smiling, and holding hands. What more did Kairi need? Stupid, lying, malicious, evil-

"Hey, Roxas. Where did you go?"

"Nowhere," I made myself smile at Sora's question. "They're having this special brothers-only event over there!" I jerked my thumb back the way we had came.

"Really? What is it?"

"Anyone who comes in with their brother gets a free box of fudge!" I shook my arms, as if excited. "And we have to go now, or we'll miss it!"

Sora's face brightened at the mention of fudge. "What are we waiting for!"

He bounded ahead towards where I had pointed; unfortunately, Riku was following us.

"Sora," I whined. "They won't give us any fudge if he comes too."

Sora stopped, and turned to face us. "Riku, wait for us by Borders."

"But—" he complained.

"Go," Sora demanded. "I promise to share the fudge with everyone, ok?"

Like that was what he was worried about, I scoffed. Riku shrugged, giving me a wary look before retreating.

I followed Sora, bored, until he stopped when he reached the far end of the mall. "Where is it?" he asked.

"Somewhere around here," I said vaguely.

That's when Kairi came.

She strode up to Sora, and Sora's face fell when he saw her.

"K-K-Kairi!" he gasped.

"Happy to see me?" she smiled, scooting closer to him with each word she spoke.

Sora looked at me hysterically. "Roxas! We need to get going, huh? For the...the..."

He lost his train of thought as Kairi grabbed his hand and held onto it tightly. He leaned back as far as possible; he didn't pull away (yet) but it looked like he was mentally pushing her away with every fiber of his being. "Sora, please, just listen to what I have to say." She stepped even closer to him, so that they were practically touching. She looked up into his eyes with a melancholy look on her face. It was easy to see that Kairi was the last person Sora wanted to talk to; he was gulping and smiling nervously. He glanced at me again. "You can call her now..." she raised her voice to me.

I nodded, and pushed open the glass doors that led outside. I felt bad for leaving him with that crazy version of Kairi, but I really badly needed to talk to Naminé.

I leaned against the wall of the mall, having already dialed her number. I looked out across the parking lot, which was, like always, filled with cars and rowdy teenagers.

"Hi," she finally answered, her voice soft.

"Hi Naminé."

"What do you want?"

I was a little taken aback at her blunt question, but I waved it off. "What's wrong? What did I do?"

"I don't know why my sister wants me to talk to you," she said, "but, please, just make her come home."

"Naminé," I said, confused and hurt. "I need to kn—"

"Please don't. I'm sorry." Her voice saddened. "I need to hear you say something."

"What?"

"That it was a mistake."

"Why is no one making sense?"

"Fine, you don't have to say it...I just..." she trailed off. "Promise me you'll get Kairi home?"

"Yeah, of course—"

"Bye."

She hung up.

What is wrong with them? I finally snapped, and threw my phone against the concrete as hard as I could. The back popped off, and the screen cracked slightly, but other than that, it was unharmed. I wanted to scream insults or punch Kairi and Naminé and Hayner until they begged me to stop. Until they explained to me why they were acting this way.

I slid down the wall, and sat down. I grabbed my phone, and shoved it back into my pocket. What would make Naminé say those things? It was unlike her...considerate, soft-spoken, selfless, calm Naminé...acting like _that_, I thought disgustingly. What happened to the Naminé that was so easy to talk to? Who needs her? Who needs Hayner? They can do whatever the hell they want, it makes no difference to me.

I stood up; I could at least get revenge against Kairi...

I went back inside the mall. The second I opened the door, I saw Sora recklessly sprinting past, his clothes disheveled and his face flushed, with Kairi chasing after him, yelling, "Sora! No! Wait!"

I ran after them, but lost them quickly. Huh, I thought, standing in the center of the mall, where Egyptian statues decorate the area.

"Roxas!" Sora gasped, appearing behind me. "You have to hide me!"

"Um..." I glanced around.

Riku appeared, looking at us with a confused look on his face. "Wh—"

Sora yelped; Kairi was bowing out of a store a few yards away from where we were standing.

I shoved Sora behind a potted plant, and Riku and I followed suit. The potted plant, luckily, was tall and leafy, which should provide enough coverage. Unluckily, it was in a corner, only a foot away from the wall.

We were all crammed, and I was wedged between the two uncomfortably.

"Is she gone?" Sora breathed in my ear.

"I don't know," I hissed.

"Riku?" we heard Kairi ask.

I pushed Riku out into the open; if he had already been seen, there was no hope for him. Sora and I could at least remain hidden.

I peeked out. "Hey," Riku said sheepishly, obviously fighting the urge to look back at us.

Kairi smiled at him kindly. "Do you remember the day I found you and Sora in my room?"

"Yeah," Riku glanced behind, as if paranoid.

"And you were laying on my bed..."

"Yeah."

"And you were on top of Sora..."

"Yeah."

Each time she listed something, she took a step closer to him. Riku was ineptly agreeing with her. Just sock her in the face, I thought.

"And you guys were kissing..."

"Yeah."

Riku must have gotten over his paranoia, because he looked her in the eye when she said that, and didn't back up even though she was only a foot away from him.

"And do you remember how upset I was?" she said it pleasantly enough; she was even smiling, but her eyes burned with anger.

"Yeah."

"Do you know how long I've wanted to do this?" she asked, her voice more sugary than ever.

And she struck his cheek as hard as she could.

Riku frowned, and she snarled because it was obvious that it hadn't hurt. She made to slap his other cheek when Sora ran out and got in-between the two.

"Stop!" he yelled. I followed him to watch the scene unfold before me.

Kairi let her arm drop; she dropped her gaze away from him with a shameful look. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice shrill.

"Kairi, you've done it now. Get out of my sight," Sora spat. Sora mad, I thought. Interesting...

Her eyes widened. "But I—"

"Go home," he said sternly. "You can't just push yourself on me and expect me to give in."

"Sora, I _can't_," their eyes met, and her lip trembled.

Riku stepped forward. "Remember how it use to be?" he asked suddenly.

Kairi and Sora looked at him, surprised. Sora understood first. "Yeah..." he said softly. "When the three of us were friends and nothing more."

"That was a long time ago," Kairi narrowed her eyes; not in anger, but in sadness.

"You need to get home to your family."

"That's it?" she snapped, tears in her eyes. "No closure, no nothing! Just a 'get out of here'?"

"Kai.." he sighed.

"She deserves that, at least," I spoke up, and walked towards the three. "It would be more than I ever got."

Both Sora and Riku shot me a look that said "Why?". I shrugged. Why? Because I wanted to hear Sora explaining his actions? Because I enjoyed seeing them fight? I don't know why I said it. But the point is that I did, and now I couldn't take it back.

"Please, Sora?" Kairi asked gently.

"Fine," Sora said, obviously unhappy about the way things were turning out.

"What made you pick him over me? How long was it going on?"

Riku glared at his shoes as Sora began to talk, "Kairi, I can't explain something like that. And for..." he glanced at Riku uncertainly, "a few months, maybe?"

"_Months_?" Kairi exclaimed, hysterical.

"Kairi, _relax_," Riku said.

"How can I?"

Riku muttered something under his breath. "There isn't anything for us to talk about."

"I can think of a few things," she gave him a fiercely angry look. "What are the chances of you two breaking up?"

Riku stepped forward furiously. "Next to nothing."

"I bet I could change that," she growled, just as heated.

"Oh, really?" he laughed darkly. "It made _such_ a difference back then, didn't it?"

"Shut up!" she snapped, looking as if she wanted to slap him again.

"Can't you give up already?"

"Not until you give him back!"

"What is he, a trophy?"

Kairi and Riku were in each other's faces, yelling. Sora and I stood off to the side, our heads turning from Kairi to Riku, as if we were watching a tennis match. Sora had a conflicted look on his face; he was probably debating whether or not he should stop them.

"Do you know how much you hurt me?" Kairi was shrieking.

"It's all about you! It has _always_ been about you!"

"It is—"

"You can't even imagine how I felt when you two were going out! You didn't want me there, and don't say that you were surprised when you found me and Sora, because you knew, didn't you? You knew I liked him! And that's why you were trying to turn him against m—"

"I was not!"

"You were keeping him as far away from me as possible!"

"Ok, maybe I was! But I began to trust you! And look at what happened!" She gestured at him crossly. "At my own house, you—"

"It's not like you didn't get revenge on me! So why are you here now?"

"It will never be enough! Nothing you do can take it back!"

"The same goes for you! Don't you remember when you screamed at me—"

"It didn't matter what I said, you didn't care!"

"Kairi, if you want Sora to be happy, you wouldn't have come here!"

"He'd be happier with me!"

Riku rolled his eyes. "You clung to him, and it annoyed him."

"Did not!"

"Oh, are you mad because, even then, he was confiding in me instead of you?"

"You don't know anything! You—"

Sora inched forward. "Guys, stop. People are giving us weird looks."

Kairi frowned and Riku stepped away from her to wrap his arm around Sora's waist. She turned her head away from them, obviously pissed, but from the way she didn't say anything, I think she had given up.

"Sora, what do you think of me?" she asked a moment later.

Sora thought the question over carefully before answering, knowing he was treading on hot water. "I think that..." He glanced at Riku again.

"I don't think that matters," Riku said. "Kairi, we've moved on, and you need to do the same."

"Do you...do you think we could stay friends?"

"After this?" Sora asked. "We could try. But, Kairi, you would hate that."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I guess I should..."

"Go home?"

"Yeah," she sighed again.

I approached her. "I talked to Naminé."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing worth mentioning."

"I still want to meet your friends..."

"Why?"

"No reason," she smiled.

"Well, they seem to have disappeared off the face of the Earth."

"That's too bad."

"Do you need a ride back to wherever you're staying?" Riku asked.

"No, I think I'll walk." Her voice seemed to automatically turn cold when she talked to him.

He shrugged. "Ok. Bye Kairi."

"Bye _Riku_. Sora?"

"Yeah?" he asked cautiously.

"Keep in touch, k?"

"Ok."

"Bye," she smiled sadly.

"Bye Kairi."

She leaned towards me. "Sorry no one will tell you what's going on."

"Tell me before you leave," I suggested hopefully.

She straightened, and laughed cruelly. "I don't think so! Nami will, eventually."

"_Eventually_," I groaned.

"Yep. Bye Roxas."

"Bye."

She began walking away, just to turn back towards me. "Oh yeah, before I forget..."

She slapped me in the face, right where my bruise was. It stung for a second, then slowly vanished. "What was that for?" I complained.

"That's for you to decide," she smiled that falsely sweet smile, and left.


	13. Plans

I'm trying to come up with a name for a writing/poetry group. Any suggestions? (I was told to ask around...)

~KeedaxEmry

Before I knew it, it was Thanksgiving. Kelly had ensured that her family was not coming. "It'll be nice for it to be just us, won't it?" she had sang. That morning, she put us into teams so that we could get everything ready. Her and Sora were in charge of getting the food; Riku, my dad, and I were in charge of cleaning, setting the table, things like that. Now, Kelly is bustling around, cooking, and everyone else is watching football (even though Sora doesn't understand it one bit).

I sat on my bed, letting my thoughts drift. Normally, I keep certain thoughts guarded. They're locked up in the back of my consciousness, behind feet of steel and chains. Those are the thoughts that use to keep me up to ungodly hours, when they would slip past my defenses and creep up on me. Just like they were doing now.

"Don't think about that," I heard myself say for the umpteenth time. At least when Kairi was here, I had something to occupy myself with. She was annoying, and she made me want to punch something, but that was better than this. Now, with nothing to do and no one to talk to, it was hard to keep my mind focused on things that don't affect me in the slightest, things like schoolwork and books, instead of family and friends. To be more specific, things like my mom, why Naminé was upset, why Axel wasn't answering his phone, why, why, why.

No matter how much I blocked it out, no matter how careful I was, it would slither in, more venomous than a snake and more lethal than a bullet.

It seemed like no matter what I do, things would go astray. Anything good in my life never lasts for long; I can cling to it and hope and pray, but, in the end, it will be consumed. Naminé is the perfect example of this: we were going great until I was forced to move and now...now...

I wrung my bedspread in my hands. Now she couldn't care less about me, I thought. Do you need any more evidence?

Another obvious one: Axel. I already, somehow, ruined that friendship. I haven't talked to him in what seems like eternity, much less _seen_ him. Did I make him mad or something? We use to hang out practically every day and now it's like we never knew each other. Maybe he got grounded because he got in a fight with Clyde, I thought optimistically. But then, why would he be avoiding me, and why would he evade any questions I asked?

Of course I couldn't just make myself believe that simple lie, I laughed bitterly. That it was Clyde's fault and not mine.

What's worse is when I _forget_ about all this, when I let myself feel the tiniest bit happy; then reality comes crashing down around me, and, as I watch the scenery burn and twist, I feel more miserable and resentful than before. It's easier to wallow in it, just a little bit, so that I don't forget, but it doesn't devour me. My mind tells me that I don't deserve to be happy, and I believe it. I believe every word it whispers in my ear, every negative complaint and every harmful notion.

I pressed my back against the wall, wishing I could cry. But, no, it was inevitable for me to feel this way, but impossible to do a simple act like that, something that would make my mind too numb to feel anything. I was at that stage where tears don't come, instead your insides rip and tear and every fiber of your being aches.

I can't—

"I'm going, Demyx! I'm already there!"

I froze. Axel? I crawled off my bed, hopping down onto the floor and going up to the doors that lead to the balcony.

Sure enough, he was standing outside, agitatedly talking on the phone. I opened the door a crack, unsure. He was wearing just a t-shirt even though the air was cold and frigid.

"Will you guys just stay out of my business?" he exclaimed. "...he did _what_?...no, I didn't know that!..." He sighed, shoving his unoccupied hand in his pocket and glancing around my backyard. "I guess...I don't need your advice...like he cares...uh-huh..."

Should I go outside and say something? That would probably be better than standing here eavesdropping...

I opened the door wider, and slipped outside, closing it behind me. Axel looked up at the noise, and he gave an oddly embarrassed choke-like cough and said hurriedly, "I gotta go."

He closed his phone and put it in his pocket with a, "Hey," to me.

"Hey."

"Um, sorry 'bout," he paused and rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, "'bout not answering my phone."

"You practically disappeared," I accused. I was kind of regretting having come outside, especially because by this point goose bumps covered a good portion of my skin, although I will admit it was good to see Axel again.

"Yeah, I know," he sighed.

"What happened?"

"Let's just say it's too hard to explain."

I groaned. "Why won't people tell me things?"

"Naminé?" he guessed.

"Yeah. Her crazy sister came and..." I waved my hand. "What are you doing here? It's Thanksgiving, shouldn't you be home?"

"Should be, but people kept bugging me to come over here."

We were quiet for a moment; I had started shivering, and I wrapped my arms around myself. Axel noticed and began to say, "Are—"

"I'm _fine_," I insisted, already knowing what he was going to ask.

"You can go get a sweater or—"

"It doesn't matter," I dismissed it. "I'm use to this."

He looked at me questioningly and I muttered, "Montana, remember?"

"Oh, right," he said. "We can talk later."

"No, I've been trying to get a hold of you for over a week now, do you really think I'll let you leave just like that?"

"But you'll turn into a popsicle," he complained.

"No, you will."

"I'm hot-blooded; it's perfect out here."

I rolled my eyes. "You can come inside."

"Nah, Roxie, I should get going."

"You just got here. And you can't leave until you tell me what's going on."

"Nothing's going on," he muttered, kicking a rock with his foot.

"You can't lie. At all," I said flatly.

"And you can?" he dared, now looking up at me.

I bit my tongue, even though I knew he was joking; he was just trying to change the subject. "Axel," I whined.

"I'm sorry! I can't talk about this now, you would just..." He looked up at me, and his face turned, like always, worried. He seems to constantly worry about me, while everyone else pretends to not notice things, I thought. "You sure you're-"

"Yes," I said exasperated. "You know Zexion called me."

"How'd that go?"

"He was trying to tell me something about you. I think."

"Really? What'd he say?"

"I don't know. I was...um..._preoccupied_ with Kairi."

"Kairi?"

"Naminé's sister. She use to date Sora and he cheated on her and blah blah blah."

"As much as this story fascinates me, I should be going," he repeated.

"Are you grounded?"

"No," he shook his head. "Just busy."

"Are your parents really strict? Did they freak out when you were suspended?"

He paused. "Not really."

"You know, your lying skills improved _immensely_ in the past ten seconds."

He laughed, although he still refused to explain himself.

"Do you have to go eat Thanksgiving dinner or something?"

I knew I was throwing him an excuse, but he was being _impossible._ "Yeah," he nodded.

"I'll see you later then."

"Yeah. Bye."

He began walking away, his head bowed and his hands pulling out a tangle of wire, which I assumed was attached to headphones and, thus, an iPod. Standing there, watching his back grow smaller and smaller as he lengthened his stride, was when I came to a rash, irrational decision. I would follow him. I would figure things out for myself and, hopefully, solve one mystery that was rattling around in my head.

I rushed back inside to grab a hoodie. I shoved my shoes on as quickly as I could, and ran downstairs and out the door, completely ignoring the questions Sora and Kelly hurled at me. ("Roxas it's almost dinner time! Where are you going?"; "Are you going for a pre-dinner walk? Can I come?")

I went around the side of the house and into the backyard, where I had last saw Axel. I walked in the direction he had been going, thinking, he's long gone by now.

But, no, he was a good distance ahead of me, although I could easily catch up if I wanted to. I thought better of that, and decided to just barely keep him in sight.

I must have been following him for at least twenty minutes; twenty minutes of "where the heck is he going?" and "hopefully he doesn't turn around." There was little to no chance of the latter happening, when I was confident that he was listening to music, and, besides, I was a ways behind him.

He mostly walked through the woods, but eventually he stepped out onto a street. A few more turns, and a few minutes later, we arrived at our destination.

I had an inkling that I had been on this street before. Yeah, I have, I thought, my eyes surveying the houses. I was here on that night when I couldn't sleep. So this must be where Axel lives.

He had slipped inside a large, cobblestone building. I stood outside a safe distance from it, studying it uncertainly. It looked old-fashioned, but could have qualified as a mansion; it had a pleasant, welcoming feel to it besides the white picket fence that seemed sharp enough to cut through skin and bone alike. Axel's car was parked in the street next to it.

I shuffled closer, thinking, what kind of home is this?

I gasped a little as the door flew open, revealing Larxene. She was upset about something, and she slammed the door behind her, strutting down the yard and out onto the street with a fed-up look on her face.

A thousand thoughts raced through my head, mainly concerning my well-being and whether or not I should hide. I wasn't fast enough, and Larxene was smirking at the sight of me.

Before I knew it, she was in front of me, one hand on her hip, one hand resting by her side. "Well, well," she said, in a harshly high-pitched and exaggeratedly girly voice she used when talking to me, "what do we have here? A squealing piglet who lost his way?"

"What are you doing at Axel's house?" I asked, because I couldn't think of anything else to say that she wouldn't use against me.

She glanced behind her for a split-second and a torrent of giggling flew out of her lips. "You...you..." she choked out in-between her laughter. She wrapped her arms around her stomach, as if what I had said was the funniest thing in the world.

I waited, irritated, for her to stop. She was wearing a tight, black tank top; on the far left of it was the image of a single flower. It looked like a white dandelion, and it started at the bottom edge of the tank top with the pale roots and ended up near her neck with the petals. It had a swooping, circular neckline despite the weather. She was also wearing light-blue jeans that bent over her black-and-pink skater shoes.

She let her arms drop as she finally stopped laughing. "This is _too _perfect," she snickered. "You really don't know?"

"Know what?" I frowned.

"I guess he doesn't trust you enough to tell you. Isn't that a shame? Even _I _know."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I don't know if I should tell," she purred. "It could get me in trouble."

"I'll just ask him myself," I snapped. I attempted to storm past her, but she held her arm out to block me.

"That won't do. Tsk, tsk. I would think, you, of all people, would know," she chided.

This is getting nowhere, I thought. "I didn't come here to be insulted."

"Then why did you come? To whine to Axel about your absolutely _dreadful_ life?" she trilled sarcastically. "Oh, poor baby. Do you need someone to bottle feed you and change your diapers?"

"Get out of my way," I snarled through my teeth, pushing past her.

"Have it your way! And don't let Uncle Xemmy scare you!" she yelled after me.

I forced myself to keep walking; she was just baiting me, I told myself, and it wasn't worth it.

I knocked on the door, despite the bad feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. It took a moment for anyone to come, but soon I heard footsteps and I unconsciously tensed up, my breath getting caught in my throat.

"Hello?" Axel swung the door open; the door screeched, obviously in need of oil, and Axel stopped. "_Roxas_?" His eyes widened at the sight of me, and he stared, dumbfounded.

"Hi," I said hesitantly. Maybe I actually made things _worse_ by coming because he must have had a reason behind his actions for the past two weeks, and I was just being nosey, really, and it was none of my business, he didn't need to spend every second with me, he obviously had his own life and...

Thankfully, that is not what I said. The noise coming out of my mouth was oddly like a grinding noise, as if my throat was closing in on itself while air desperately tried to escape. The second I noticed it, I made it stop, although that didn't stop me from feeling like a gigantic idiot.

We stood there in silence for a few more awkward seconds. He wasn't inviting me in, but I wasn't asking to come in.

"What are you..." he shook his head. "Did you _follow_ me?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "Can I come in?" I asked timorously.

He sighed, and opened the door all the way.

The living room was decorated lavishly; it had a plush, deep red carpet, thick curtains that matched, an open fire place, and a large plasma screen TV. Axel scurried around, doing things to clean the spotlessly clean room.

I watched, slightly dismayed, as he tidied up by moving the papers on the coffee table around, and by straightening the pillows on the couch.

"Axel, what are you doing?" I asked, momentarily distracted by his behavior.

"Nothing," he muttered, dropping a pillow onto the couch. "Shouldn't you be with your family?"

I shrugged. "Seriously, what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing," he said again.

He started to say something else, but at that moment, Zexion walked in, a book tucked under his arm. "Dinner's done," he said. He saw me, his face staying stoic and uncaring. "Roxas, you never called me back," he said, annoyed.

"Oh," I muttered, guilty, "I kind of...forgot. What are you doing here?"

They both ignored me, because at that point, Axel turned to Zexion angrily. "Without saying a thing to me—"

"You needed a push," Zexion said coolly, narrowing his eyes.

"I don't need your help! Everything's great!"

Zexion looked from me to him; I'm sure I looked as bewildered as I felt, while Axel just seemed mad. "Really?" he asked wryly.

"Yes!"

"Then you told him? You told him about Beatrice and Marcus?"

Axel shot him a look. "It's not like that matters."

"To you it does. And if you expect to get any—"

Axel suddenly jumped towards him and ripped the book out of Zexion's hands. He opened it threateningly, looking at Zexion expectantly.

Zexion actually blushed and tried to get it back. Axel laughed coldly, holding it above his head. "Let's see here." He opened it and began flipping through the pages.

"Give it back!" Zexion attempted to grab it, but Axel's long arms put it out of reach, even if he jumped.

"Hmmm..."Last night Xemnas actually let me stay at Demyx's house and—"

"I won't say anything. Just give it back," Zexion said, trying to sound calm. He was actually so furious, his voice was low and shaking.

"You should've said that in the first place!" Axel laughed and threw it at him. Zexion took it, gave him a dirty look, and left before Axel could change his mind.

"What was that about?" I blinked.

"It's his _diary_," Axel smirked.

"Who's Beatrice? And M...Mmmm...the other person?"

"No one. What are you doing for the rest of Thanksgiving break?"

"Nothing."

"We could hang out."

"And do what?"

"I have no idea. I'm kinda curious to see what your house looks like," he grinned.

"Ok. You can come over tomorrow if you want to."

"I know what we can do tomorrow. We can keep playing Truth so I can win."

I rolled my eyes at that conceited remark and he leaned towards me with a smug look on his face. "Just you wait and see," he smirked.

"I can think of a million questions you don't want to answer," I snorted. "And if we're playing, you'll _have_ to answer them."

"I'll just have to ask harder questions," he said, unconcerned. He straightened so that he was no longer leaning towards me as someone yelled that dinner was getting cold. "Arg," he groaned.

"Miss me or something?"

"Yep," he said happily. "Like a cat misses honey."

"That doesn't even make sense."

"No, it doesn't," he tapped his head thoughtfully. "Like a cat misses catnip...?"

"If you missed me, you could have called." I let my annoyance seep through that statement.

"I know, Roxie. I'm sorry, like I said, things were crazy."

"If you say so. Call me before you come, ok?"

"Ok."

"And ignore anything that comes out of Kelly's mouth," I warned beforehand.

"Gotchya."

"And ignore anything that comes out of Sora's mouth."

"Gotchya," he laughed.

"I'm being serious."

"I'm being just as serious." He frowned in an exaggeratingly grave way and looked at the indignant look on my face, which just made him laugh.

"Idiot," I muttered, stepping around him to get to the door.

"I heard that," he pouted.

"You were suppose to."

"Wh—"

He was cut off as someone yelled at him to "hurry up and get in here so we can eat."

"Bye," I shook my head as Axel sulked.

"Bye."

I left. A second later, I turned around and knocked on the door, annoyed with myself. Axel answered, confused.

"I can't remember how to get back," I explained, disgruntled.

"Roxas, geez," he chuckled. "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK!" he yelled over his shoulder, grabbing his keys off a hook near the door.

I followed him to his car; it took only a few minutes to get back to my house. In that short time, Axel managed to annoy me even further. When I got out, he was laughing, and I ignored him as he said, "See you tomorrow!"

I let myself inside. There was no sign that anyone was home. I peeked in the living room to find it empty. Then I heard the clinking of silverware and dishes.

They were all in the kitchen, seated around the table, happily gorging themselves with turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, the works.

Kelly was facing me and she looked up, smiling. "Roxas. Join us," she invited, raising a wine glass full of ruby-colored liquid to her lips.

I was about to sit down when a wave of anger hit me; I stood there, shaking, as they continued with their meal as if I wasn't there. A few seconds passed and I listened to Riku and my dad cracking jokes that were directed towards some rival football team. Sora was watching me carefully. "It's delicious," he smiled at me, trying to get me to sit.

I bit back a mean retort, instead I glared at each of them, and left to my room. "Roxas!" Kelly called after me.

I ignored her, already bounding up the stairs. A slam of my door, a twist of the lock, and I had some alone time.

"What is wrong with me?" I asked as jealousy curled around me, its nails painfully digging into my skin. It's probably just the fact that he treats them like his real family, I thought, while...

I shook my head, putting on headphones and blasting music. Let them enjoy Thanksgiving, let my dad indulge in his ideal and much-more-perfect family. I don't want to hang out with them anyway.

"Roxas?" Kelly knocked softly. "Please come and have dinner with us."

I turned up my music a notch and stretched out on my bed.

"Roxas?" she knocked louder. "Maybe in a few minutes, you could come downstairs for dessert? I made pumpkin pie and...so, I'll see you in the kitchen, okey dokey?"

Dang, her voice is loud...I raised the volume even more, but she was gone.

She came back a few times; each time I successfully drowned her out with whatever was playing on my iPod.

Just when I started thinking about going to bed, Sora came. I could hear him shuffling his feet outside my door, and I could see his shadow blocking the hall light from falling into my room.

"Roxas?" he rasped his knuckles on the door. "What are you doing?"

"Sleeping," I muttered, even though I was still sprawled on my bed, in the exact same position. I hadn't even put my pajamas on yet.

"Did you have fun at Axel's?"

"How did you know I—"

"So you're friends with him again?"

"I've _been_ friends with him," I paused. "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"You want to hang out with me and Riku?" he asked hopeful.

"No. Just stay out of my way."

"I always—"

"Leave me alone tomorrow. Got it?"

"Um, sure. Why?"

"Axel's coming over."

"Oh, really?" he perked up. "The four of us could—"

"No," I said dryly. "Can I go to bed now?"

"But you didn't eat yet," he whined.

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"_No,_ Sora, I'm not," I growled.

"Don't make me tell Axel," he threatened.

I laughed darkly. "You don't even have his phone number."

"It's right here!" he chirped.

"Right here...?" I trailed off in thought. Then, once realization hit, I was frantically searching through my pockets. "You...you little—"

I clenched my teeth, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Sora was standing there with a gleeful look on his face as he pressed a button on my phone and held it to his ear.

I jumped at him, and a frenzy of me trying to grab it, and him dancing away from me, ensued.

"Hello?" he giggled into the phone, running down the hall to his room.

I snarled, bolting after him. He disappeared, and I caught up a second later to stand in the doorway, breathing heavily.

Sora was standing in the middle of the room, saying, "It's Sora! And I wanted to tell you that Roxas didn't eat his din—"

I tackled him, and we fell backwards onto his bed. My phone fell out of his grasp, and vanished; he pouted at me, moaning.

I glanced around, finding my phone when I heard a confused Axel ask, "Hello? Sora?"

"Hi," I picked it up.

"Hi Roxas."

I shot Sora a look, noting the pleased look on his face, and went back to my room, locking the door once more.

"Sorry," I said. "Sora's being an idiot."

"Is what he said true, Roxie?" he whimpered, sounding a lot like Sora.

"That I haven't eaten?"

"Yeah."

"Roxas! Open up!" Sora yelled from outside.

"One sec," I murmured into the phone. I turned towards the door. "Can't you go hang out with Riku or your mom or _someone _other than me?"

"No," he sniffed. "They're busy having fun without me."

"Learn how to entertain yourself!" I was about to say something into the phone when he asked me how. "That's for you to figure out!..."

I waited until I heard him shamble back to his room, and then I said, "You there?"

"Yep," Axel said brightly. "Your family's insane."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically, although I couldn't agree more.

"Your welcome. I can still come over tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

I plugged my phone to the wall to let it charge, got into pajamas, took a sleeping pill, and sank onto my bed, pulling the covers up to my chin. Sleep, I demanded out of habit. My eyes were closing, despite the annoying voice that was still blabbering outside my door. It was Sora, of course, being concerned and needy and whiny and clingy.

My thoughts floated onto other things, waiting for the medicine to kick in, but I would be pulled back down to reality as Sora's voice rose in pitch.

"Sora! I'm trying to sleep! Shut up!" I yelled angrily.

The hall fell silent, and I shifted positions, closing my eyes.

A while later, when I was on the verge of falling asleep, I heard a bang and I shot up in bed. What the...

I rubbed my eyes, wobbling out of bed to flick the light on as the banging continued; it sounded like it was coming from...

I flinched at the sight of someone standing on my balcony, using his (her?) knuckles to knock on the glass of the door. Then I realized that it was Sora. I smirked at the sight of him.

"Roxas! Open up!" I could barely hear him, or see him. The only things I could see was the outline of his spiky hair, and the arm he held up to knock.

I went back to bed after turning the light off, thinking about how happy I was that the balcony had a lock on it. How did he even get there, I thought, tucking the blankets closer to me. Despite the slight tinge of guilt that ran through me, I ignored the hysterical hammering Sora was making.

I don't remember when I fell asleep. What I do remember is this:

"I'm gonna smash your skull in..."

I opened my eyes to see Riku's face a centimeter from mine, the smell of alcohol becoming stronger with each word he spoke. I cringed, scooting backwards from him, and he fell over onto my bed; my light was on, and Sora, Kelly, and my dad were in the corner of my room. Sora was crying, while Kelly clung to him, and my dad reassured them.

I stood up, and Riku grabbed my shirt to try to pull himself up. His clothes were disheveled and his face was flushed. "Get...back...here," he slurred. He managed to stand up, holding a beer bottle up and swinging it, obviously aiming for my head.

I ducked, and he ended up on the floor, a string of curses and profanity spilling out of his mouth.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking outside (it was still dark), and then looking at my family huddled in the corner, and then at Riku, who was trying, unsuccessfully, to stand up. He had dropped the beer bottle, which, luckily, was empty.

"You are grounded," my dad glowered, "until you're thirty-five."

"What'd I do?" I asked just as angrily. I know, it's was a stupid question to ask.

"You left Sora outside to freeze to death."

"What was he doing there in the first place?"

"He was _worried_ about you! And you—"

Kelly grabbed his arm gently, and whispered something. He nodded, then stood up and helped both Kelly and Sora to their feet.

They left me alone with Riku who, by the looks of it, had passed out.

I glanced at the clock; Sora hadn't been out there for too long...just an hour or so...

"Roxas?" Kelly came back. "Your father wants you to go downstairs and apologize."

"What about him?" I gestured towards Riku.

"I'll get him." She picked him up and threw him over her shoulder like a handbag.

Sora was sitting at the table, sipping at steaming hot chocolate in a blue mug; my dad was nowhere to be seen.

"Sorry," I said, leaning against the doorpost. Sora looked up at me, his eyes red and his childish features disoriented with fear.

"Why didn't you open the door?" he rasped.

I shrugged, turning away.

"You'll never get anywhere if you keep acting like this." I paused, and he went on to say something about the boogie man.

I walked away to escape from his yapping. Before I could get out of the kitchen, my dad and Kelly appeared, and made me sit at the table next to Sora.

They sat too.

"We're waiting," my dad spoke calmly although I'm sure on the inside he was furious.

"I already said it," I muttered.

"Then say it like you mean it."

"I'm sorry," I said spitefully.

"To him."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, _Sora_."

"Good; Sora you can go to bed now."

"The boogie man will get me if I go alone," he frowned.

"Riku's waiting for you, sweetie," Kelly gave him a little smile.

"I don't like it when he acts like this," he moped.

"Then don't let him drink," I muttered darkly.

"What did you say?" my dad asked in his "I'm-warning-you" voice.

"I said, sleep well," I said, my voice dripping in disdain.

"That's what I thought you said."

"I'll be there in a moment, ok?" Kelly said. "And the bad oogie oogie won't be able to get you while you're inside."

He agreed, getting up and finally leaving.

"Roxas, we've very concerned," Kelly began, "that you would do something like this."

"Let's discuss the repercussions," my dad said.

"No TV privileges."

"No phone privileges."

"No computer privileges."

I just sat there and took it, waiting them to hurry up and finish so that I could go back to bed.

"No reading privileges."

"No friend privileges."

I narrowed my eyes. "What does that mean?"

"if you're not at school, you're at home. And you can't have friends over either," my dad said.

"That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair. What you did to Sora isn't fair."

"What _am _I allowed to do?" I asked, annoyed.

"You can hang out with your family or do homework or help around the house," Kelly said.

"What about Sora? What about Riku?" I snapped. "Why aren't they in trouble?"

Kelly blinked. "They didn't do anything."

"Didn't do anything?" I exclaimed, disgusted. "Sora wouldn't let me sleep and then he snuck onto my balcony! And Riku got drunk and tried to kill me!"

"I'm sure they were both just trying to help," Kelly said, uncertain, glancing at my dad.

"He was trying to _kill_ me!" I repeated. "With a beer bottle!"

"This isn't about them, it's about you," my dad cut in. "What made you think this was ok?"

"If it's ok to attack someone in the middle of the night, I thought it would be ok to leave someone outside."

"Don't get smart with me."

"Smart? Me? Never!" I mocked.

"You're just making this worse for yourself."

"Oscar," Kelly murmured. "You're both tired and..."

He nodded. "Go to bed, Roxas."

"I shouldn't—"

"We're not discussing this now. Go."

"You can punish me. Whatever. It's not like I'm your son or anything; _they_ obviously are. Good night," I droned.

He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't and I went back upstairs.


	14. Threats

A/N: Ok, I do believe that I have been reading too many mystery novels. =.=

Roxas, obviously, doesn't treat his family with any respect whatsoever, and I did this on purpose. Don't worry, it'll get better, and, in the meantime, I will try to tone it down.

And now we can get back to Axel. :)

~KeedaxEmry

"Hello?"

"Hi. You sound like you're half asleep."

Axel laughed slightly. "That's because I am," he yawned. "Anxious to see me again?"

"I had to call you before someone remembers to take my phone away."

"Why would they do that?" I heard a creak, which I assumed was his mattress.

"They grounded me last night," I sighed, shifting my phone to my other ear. I was sitting on my bed at ten in the morning, having woken up at seven; I waited for Axel to call me, staying in my room and ignoring the noises of my "family" as they started their day. I had gotten impatient and eventually, I called Axel.

"What'd you do?" he said softly, like he was a second from falling asleep.

"I basically locked Sora outside."

"Heh, good job."

"I don't know how long I'll be grounded..." It was silent for a moment, and I could hear Axel breathing evenly. "Axel?" No answer. "AXEL?"

"What, what?" he asked quickly.

"Did you fall asleep?"

"No!...maybe...yeah," he muttered. "What were you saying?"

"I'm grounded."

"Yep."

"I'm _grounded_."

"Wha?..._Oh_," he said, finally realizing what I meant. "We were going to hang out today," he pointed out.

"Yeah."

"I could sneak in."

"I don't know. Maybe they forgot all about it."

"I seriously doubt that, Roxie."

"I can't believe _I_ got in trouble and _they_ didn't."

"They?"

I told him everything about last night; he responded with a, "Wow, that sucks. You probably should have let him in, y'know."

"Yeah. Maybe I could sneak out," I suggested.

"I could sneak in, you could sneak out. Either way."

"I'll call you back, ok?"

"Ok," he said, confused.

I hung up and left my room. I searched the house; Sora and Riku were still in their room and, from the sound of it, Riku had a major hangover. Kelly was cleaning the bathroom, scrubbing the bathtub viciously; my dad, fortunately, was at work. His workaholic tendencies are proving useful, I thought to myself, hopping back up the stairs.

I called Axel back then shoved my phone in my pocket out of habit; a few minutes later, I was tiptoeing past Kelly, and jumping in Axel's car, a mysterious tingling feeling creeping up and down my spine. It was probably my joy at deliberately ignoring an order from my dad.

Axel was speeding away from my house before I had my seatbelt buckled.

"I never thought you had it in you," Axel mocked. "Sneaking out like that."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure I'll regret it later."

"What time are you going home?" Axel put a can to his lips and drained its contents. It looked suspiciously like an 18-and-older energy drink.

"I don't know, probably before six. That's when my dad gets home."

"Not like that'll help. They'll notice that you're gone in five minutes."

"Yeah, probably. I'll go home whenever, I guess. Where are we going?"

"My humble abode."

"Amazing. Did you give up on hiding things from me?" I asked sarcastically.

"I can lie to anyone," he paused, "but you. It must be my one flaw."

"Your _one_ flaw?"

He batted my arm. "Don't be mean."

"I'll be whatever I want."

"Like always."

I nodded curtly, as if we were having a serious conversation.

We parked next to his house. He cut off the engine, pulled his keys out, and yanked his door open. He bowed out, and I followed suit.

We walked up to the door; Axel was jingling his keys, throwing them a few inches in the air every few feet. He opened the door for me.

I found myself glancing around again, amazed at the state of his house; why had he not wanted me here? It was so...luxurious and lush. A small area of tile covered the floor, then the carpet. To the left were two comfortable-looking couches, which faced the fire place and the TV, which was hooked up above the fire place. There were two windows situated next to the front door; the curtains were open to let harshly bright sunlight stream in. The walls were painted white, with brown trimming. Everything about it was welcoming and pleasant.

"C'mon," Axel gestured to me, "let's go meet everyone."

The next room we came to was a wide hallway with a staircase. He led me past the staircase and deeper inside. There were too many rooms to count: a library, a dining room (complete with a long, shiny wooden table), a kitchen, and several closed doors that could have been anything.

Eventually we came to a single door, and Axel rasped his knuckles on it. I heard someone cough and then it swung open smoothly to reveal a man. He had a tan-ish skin tone, silver hair that pooled over his shoulders, and a sour look on his face.

"Yes, Axel? What do you need?" he asked lucidly.

"Xemnas, this is Roxas. Roxas, this is Xemnas," Axel introduced.

He nodded towards me.

"Is Saix around?"

"No, I'm afraid he's out grocery shopping at the moment. So, if you'll excuse me..." He closed the door gently.

"Ok," I said confused. "Is he your dad?"

"Not exactly. It's a long story," he rubbed his head. "I'll explain when the tour's over."

The only other people I met was Luxord, Xemnas's personal bartender, and Xaldin, Xemnas's personal cook. Luxord had blonde hair and multiple piercings; he seem to take no notice of me as he sorted through endless wine bottles. This place is a mansion, I thought, if it has its own bar and everything! Xaldin had black, dreadlocked hair; he also seem to take no notice of me as he chopped his way through a pile of tomatoes. Then we went upstairs to another long hall with neat doors on either side. I counted twelve of them in total. Axel looped in front of me to open the third door on the right.

It was his room. At first I couldn't see anything past Axel's back but then he stepped to the side and out of my way. The entryway was a few feet of polished wooden floor, and past that, it opened up. To the left was a twin sized bed that had a simple black-and-red bedspread on it; it wasn't pressed against the wall, instead it was placed a little ways away from brown sliding doors that seem to lead to a closet. At the foot of his bed was a bedside table with a plain, white alarm clock. The only other thing notable was a simple desk, a computer chair, and a small, red shade lamp. His backpack was thrown in the corner, but other than that, it looked like a guest room. Like the rest of the house, it was nice, if simply furbished. To be honest, I had expected it to be a mess: like a tornado had passed through, throwing clothes, school papers, and CDS everywhere, causing chaos and disarray.

"Cool," I said uncertainly.

"Isn't it?" he kind of sighed. "Real quick."

I followed him back into the hall. He pointed at the last door to the left. "Zexion's room," he muttered. "Larxene's room," he pointed at the room across from his, then at the second door on the right. "Demyx's old room and Xion's room," he pointed at the first door on the left.

I narrowed my eyes, confused. "Is this an orphanage?"

"No," Axel went back into his room and sat on his bed.

"Then what is it?"

He shrugged. "Xemnas calls it "youth housing" but we're all just charity cases."

He looked up at the bewildered look on my face and continued. "Xemnas has never been liked by the community. People see him as rich, lazy, selfish," he waved his hand, "so, to make himself look good, he started Organization 13, which is, basically, a place for children who are waiting for foster parents. When it first started up, he had twelve children, including himself it made thirteen, hence the name. The problem was that most of them were teenagers. Teenagers who had shady past; no one wanted them, and since they were basically spat up by the city, they ended up living here permanently. Some go into new foster homes while others, like Demyx, are adopted."

He leaned back on his bedpost, an expectant look on his face. I could tell he was trying to gauge my reaction, and I could tell he expected a bad one.

"Ok," I said slowly.

"Yeah, it's kind of..." he trailed off, glancing around the room. "A work in progress."

"How long have you been living here?"

"Two weeks. Well...a long time, really."

"What happened to your parents?"

He sat up, sighing. "For the record, these count as questions. So you owe me."

"Fine, I owe you," I said exasperated.

"Ok," he gave me a lopsided smile. "My parents...hmmm...where to start..." He tapped his bed thoughtfully.

"The beginning's always good."

"My mom disappeared when I was really young. My dad said that she was going to vacation to the Caribbean, but she never returned. I always had this hope that she would come back with an armful of presents and a giant grin on her face. Eventually, I figured out that my parents divorced, even though no one bothered to tell me about it. My dad tried, but he was completely clueless. Anyway, when I was six, there was a freak accident at his work and he drowned."

"Where did he work?"

"He installed swimming pools," he said frankly. "I bounced from foster home to foster home, and ended up here. You running for your life yet?"

He said it all easily, and truthfully, although his question was falsely playful; he was worried again, I thought. "Not really. My family is more screwed up then yours," I laughed darkly.

"I doubt that, Roxie." I was about to tell him about it, but he cut me off. "Sora told me everything."

"Everything?"

"_Everything_. And then he said if I hurt you, he'd get Riku to kill me," he chuckled. "It would have been threatening if it had been anyone besides him."

I looked away from him, unnerved.

"None of that matters." I heard his mattress groan, and he was in front of me, scrutinizing my face. "My parents are as good as dead."

"It doesn't seem to affect you much," I mumbled.

"I've gotten use to the idea."

"Yeah, I guess," I made myself look up. "What are we going all day?"

"Now that I've poured my soul out, that's all you have to say?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Good to know," he grinned.

"Why were you so worried about telling me about this?"

"You react badly sometimes. And it's not like I could go up to you and say, "By the way, my dad is dead and I don't even know my mother. Are you going to eat that?""

"Better than avoiding me," I complained.

"I wasn't avoiding you, per say."

"Then what were you doing?"

"Taking a vacation, a hiatus, a break? Something along those lines."

I shook my head. "If you say so. What are we going to do now?"

"Oh, I have a few ideas," he smirked.

"Are you saying that to annoy me, or because you actually have a few ideas?"

"To annoy you, mostly."

"Of course," I groaned.

"We can just hang out here."

I shrugged. "Why not?"

Axel put on music-he had a stereo, something that I hadn't noticed. Then he stretched out on his bed, leaving me to sit on the lone computer chair. I tilted back in the chair as Axel yawned, closing his eyes.

"I didn't come here to watch you sleep," I complained.

"You're the one who decided to wake me up early," he complained right back. His eyes fluttered open to glance at me. Then he put his arms underneath his head, and stared up at the ceiling.

"What happened the first time you tried alcohol?" I asked.

"I thought you were going to ask questions I wouldn't want to answer," he snickered.

"You pretty much answered all my questions," I shrugged. "Except I feel like I'm forgetting about something."

"I just got home, and it was when Demyx was still living here. I must've looked horrible because he gave me a glass and ordered me to drink it. I did," he gave a half shrug. "I got drunk, somehow. It was probably really strong stuff. In the morning, Demyx said I tried to make jell-o in the toilet."

"You...did _what_?" I laughed in an exasperated sort of way.

"I was drunk, remember? And why are you the one asking all the questions?" he pouted.

"Because I feel like it? And get over yourself, I asked _one_ question."

"If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?"

"I don't know. Physically, or what?"

"Sure."

"I'd make myself taller."

"Is that comment still bugging you?"

"What comment?" I asked, confused.

"The airbag will crush you," he smirked.

"It is _not_ bugging me," I shot him a dirty look. "I just want to be taller, that's all."

"If you say so, Roxie," he laughed. "What's the best thing about your life right now?"

"I am not trying to be corny," I warned. "And don't think I've started acting like you."

"Who wouldn't want to act like me?"

I kicked his foot, which was hanging off the edge of his bed. He grinned. "How can you stand sleeping on that?" I asked, momentarily distracted.

"What do you mean?"

"You're so freakin tall, how do you fit?"

"Like this." He swung his legs onto the bed, and pushed backwards. He laid down with his head on his pillow and, sure enough, his feet ended a few inches short from the end of the bed. "You didn't answer my question," he accused.

"What was the question?"

He lifted his head to stare at me. "You seriously forgot that quickly?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"What's the best thing about your life right now?"

"Oh right."

"Well?" he laid back down.

"You."

"Really? Score," he gave me a thumbs up and an enthusiastic smile.

"Don't let it go to your head," I said dryly. "My life sucks."

"It can't suck _that_ bad."

"Anything you say, Axel," I muttered.

He kicked the side of my head gently; thankfully, he was only wearing socks. "Look on the bright side, I'll be back in school on Monday!"

"And then you'll be able to help me in Biology!" I said with false excitement.

"Don't you just _love_ school?"

"No," I said flatly.

"I had no idea!" he mocked. "Don't you worry your pretty little head about it! Axel is here to make it all better!"

"Please, don't," I shook my head.

"Awww, it was going to be fun!"

"It's impossible for school to be fun."

"I will make you regret saying that."

"Sure you will."

"Yep. Ok, let's see here..." He pursed his lips in thought. "Would you rather be rich and famous?"

"I would rather have a magical spray that repels annoying people."

"For you, that would be everyone," he joked. "And answer the question."

"Rich. If I was famous, everyone would annoy me."

"If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"A creative one."

"I don't care what he says, but it would probably be something along the lines of "it's a miracle you didn't go to hell!""

"Optimistic one, aren't you?"

"Optimism is my middle name," I replied dully. Axel frowned at me and I asked, "What?"

"I will wring all the sarcasm out of you."

"Good luck with that."

"Thank you!"

"Now you're the one being sarcastic."

"It rubs off on you, y'know? What kinds of things make you happy?"

"When will it be my turn to ask the questions?" I sighed.

"Never!...ok, in a little while, I promise," he grinned at me eagerly.

"Um..." I thought for a moment, then said, "Whatever gets my mind off things."

"Like?"

"Like," I paused, thinking, "reading, listening to music, hanging out with friends."

"Ha! I triple win!" he exclaimed, throwing something at my face. It hit me and fell to the floor. It was a single, white envelope. I picked it up, and examined it; it was small, and sealed.

"What's this?" I asked suspiciously, about to tear it open.

"Don't open it yet."

"Why'd you give it to me then?"

"So I don't lose it, of course."

"When can I open it?"

"When I tell you that you can."

"Why can't I open it now?"

"Maybe it's a Christmas present."

"Maybe? Christmas isn't until December."

"Maybe it's a Thanksgiving present."

"Thanksgiving was _yesterday_ and I've never heard of someone giving out presents for it."

"It just makes me original."

"Why can't I open it now?" I whined.

"Impatient," he grumbled. "Fine, I'll take it back."

He sat up and took a swipe towards it. I jumped out of the chair and held it out of reach. "Ok! I won't open it!"

"Promise?"

"Yes."

He scooted back and leaned against the bedpost.

I tucked the envelope under my hand. After a few moments of silence, I meekly asked, "When do you _think_ you'll tell me I can open it?"

"At this rate, May."

"That's not fair!" I laughed at the annoyed look on his face. "I'm kidding, Axel."

He continued to mutter under his breath.

"I'm _kidding_," I repeated. "Have you ever cheated on a test?"

"What do you think?"

"Yes."

"I would never cheat!...as in, yes, I have," he brightened. "What was your mom like?"

I paused for a split second, taken aback by the straightforward question. I caught myself in time and said, "She was really nice and outgoing. Like a typical mother, except she was slightly eccentric."

"How so?"

"She bought me blue carpet."

Axel chuckled and I continued. "Sometimes I would hear her taking showers in the middle of the night. And she had the strangest beliefs; like that dream catchers keep away nightmares, things like that."

"That's what they're supposed to do," he pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. "

"What was your favorite game as a kid?"

"And, again, why do you get to ask all the questions?"

"Because I am awesome."

I snorted. "I'll take you up on that."

"Go right ahead. Ask anyone, and they'll agree."

I shook my head. "You are the most egotistical person I have ever met."

"It's one of my greatest accomplishments."

"What are your other great accomplishments? Waking up before noon?" I snorted.

"Yes," he grinned. "Now stop getting me sidetracked and answer the question."

"My favorite game was Candyland."

He looked at me for a second, then cracked up. "Candyland? Seriously?"

"What's so funny about that? What was _your_ favorite game, huh?" I asked, annoyed.

"For some reason, I absolutely loved Sonic the Hedgehog."

"It's probably the hair," I muttered.

"What'd you say, Roxie?"

"Nothing. What do you spend most of your money on?"

"Anything that suits my fancy. CDs, other stuff."

"Shouldn't you be more conservative than that?"

"Nah, I have a rich uncle who sends me money. He feels bad."

"Then why do you have a job?"

"I'm not going to use his money when he's only sending it because he feels guilty. I just shove it all in my bank account and let it sit there."

"We're back to my original question. Shouldn't you be more conservative than that?"

"That would be no fun."

"What's the last thing you bought?"

"A muffin," he paused, "or ice cream."

"All you do is eat."

"Do not! Which reminds me..." he wiggled and pulled out his phone. "It's already eleven o' clock and I haven't had breakfast or lunch."

"I haven't either."

"This calls for pizza!"

He ordered a pizza and, while I was waiting for him to finish the call, I got a text message. I took my phone out, seeing that I had 5 New Calls, all from Kelly. I deleted them, thankful that my phone was on vibrate.

The text message read: **I'm watching you**

I looked up from my phone to see Axel hanging up. "Don't be an idiot," I said.

"What do you mean? I bet we could eat _more than _that," he said, thinking that I was talking about the pizza.

"You're right here. I know you're watching me."

"What?" he asked, narrowing his eyes in confusion.

I held my phone up so he could read it. "The Caller ID is restricted," he muttered. "Not me."

"Sure it isn't," I said wryly.

"_This_ is my texting you." He clicked something into his phone, and sure enough, my phone vibrated in my hand.

This one read: **Hey Roxie :) **

The Caller ID clearly said "Axel Vantwellez."

"Can't you block your number when you feel like it?" I asked.

"I don't know how."

I shook my head.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"No. Who else would do this?" I stopped as my phone vibrated again.

**I can think of a few.**

"See? That can't be me, I wasn't even touching my phone," Axel said.

"Who is it then?" I asked, slightly worried.

"Someone is just screwing with us." He swung off his bed, and yanked the door to his room open. No one was there. "C'mon."

I followed him. He knocked on Larxene's door first.

"What?" she scowled when she answered.

"Are you sending threatening texts again?" Axel asked.

"Of course," she giggled.

"You had better knock it off."

"Why? It isn't harming anybody. Do you want me to text you?"

"No."

"Whoops," she smiled.

Axel glanced at his phone with a disgusted look on his face. He proceeded to threaten her.

"You would _never _hurt me!" She draped her arm over his shoulders and he carefully shrugged her off. That's when she saw me; her eyes turned into slits and her lips turned upwards in a leering smirk. She leaned against the doorframe saying, "He finally decided to trust you? I bet you are so _very_ proud of yourself, aren't you?"

"How'd you get my number?" I asked.

"I don't want your number," she sneered.

"So you haven't been texting me?"

"No, if I did that, I would have to wash my fingers off with bleach."

"Shut your mouth," Axel growled. He left her standing there, and knocked on Zexion's door next. There was no answer.

The last door he knocked on was Xion's. She opened it, giving a start when she saw me behind Axel.

"Y-Y-Y-Y-Yes?" she stuttered, blushing profusely.

"Do you even have a phone?" Axel asked, cutting to the chase.

"I...I..."

"Well?" He was obviously getting annoyed; she noticed and bowed her head.

"Phone?" she rasped.

"Yes, do you have a phone?" he agitatedly spat out.

"Like...a..."

"Cell phone," he finished.

She didn't say anything, and Axel gave up with a, "Fine, don't answer."

We went back to his room.

**That went well, didn't it?**

I groaned and set my phone on Axel's desk, sitting back down. Axel sat back on his bed. "Whoever it is will stop soon."

"You think?" I asked.

"Yeah. They're probably just bored. Maybe it's Sora."

"How would he know everything we're doing?"

"He's spying on us."

"He would have to know where you live," I shook my head. "_Someone_ is spying on us though."

At that, Axel got paranoid and searched his room. There was no one under the bed, or in the closet. "That's confusing," he muttered.

"No kidding."

**Very confusing, isn't it?**

"Shut up, whoever you are," I griped.

**Never**

"You can text really fast."

"Roxas, you're basically talking to yourself," Axel said.

"Basically," I sighed.

The pizza came and Axel carried the box in and set it on the desk. We each grabbed a piece and ate it without any plates.

"What's the longest you've gone without sleeping?" I asked in-between bites.

"Two days. I don't recommend it. Do you know how to drive?"

"No. Have you ever been hit by a girl?"

"Yeah."

"Who?"

"It's my turn."

"Now we're taking turns?"

"Weren't we doing that the entire time?" he chuckled. "What'd you do all Thanksgiving break?"

"Call you and sleep."

"You never cease to amaze me," he shook his head.

"What?"

"You spend all your time saying that I'm lazy when you're the one who sleeps all Thanksgiving break."

"I never called you lazy. And what time do you usually wake up in the morning?"

"On school days, seven."

"When you don't have school."

"Around eleven."

"I usually wake up at seven, regardless. Who sleeps more now?"

"Why are we arguing about this?"

"I don't know, you started it!"

My phone vibrated again, and I shoved the rest of my slice in my mouth, and wiped my hands off to read the message.

**Enjoy the time you have with him.**

"What's that mean?" I asked out loud. Axel gave me a weird look, and I cut him off before he could say anything.

**It means you die tonight.**

A/N: Cue dramatic music. I'm curious to see who you all think is sending the texts, so please leave a review.

~KeedaxEmry


	15. Alibi

A/N: Good guesses. They made me laugh...and, no, I'm not telling you why I found them so amusing. My lips are sealed. :)

~KeedaxEmry

"Um, ok?"

"What?" Axel asked, looking up at me.

I showed him the text messages, and he got mad, swore, and deleted them. "Whoever is doing this, _it's not funny_," he growled.

"I'm just going to ignore it," I shook my head.

"But—"

"What else can we do?"

"I guess you're right," he grumbled. "But when I find out who—"

"Yes, I know," I said nonchalantly. "You'll claw their eyes out, or something to that effect."

"I was thinking of something more painful, but, yeah, basically," he smiled.

"Yeah, of course," I droned. "Like I said, protective like a puppy or a mother. Or better yet, a puppy's mother, which would make you a..." I blinked.

"A bitch? Yes, I'm your bitch," he smirked. "Which would make you a puppy."

I rolled my eyes. "You think you're so clever."

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do think that. How'd you know?"

"If you're so clever, you can beat me at this game."

"What game? Truth?"

"No, I forget what it's called, but that's beside the point. I'll make it easy for you. Choose a category."

He thought for a second, then said, "Ways to have fun."

"O-kkkk. Swimming. Now you have to name something in the category that starts with a "g" because "swimming" ends in a "g." Get it?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Golf."

I snorted. "Golf? When has that become fun?"

"Since always."

I gave him a dirty look. "Frisbee."

"Eating."

"Gardening."

"Ghost stories."

"Scavenger hunt." We were firing answers at each other, although Axel seemed bored.

"Tour a brewery."

I glared at him fiercely. "Yoga."

"Air hockey."

"You're impossible!"

"What'd I do?"

"You keep giving me a "y"!" I accused.

"It's not that hard to think of a word that starts with a "y"," he mused.

"Then you do it."

"Yodeling."

"Gambling," I shot right back.

"What are you, a criminal?"

"Shut up."

"You're just frustrated that I can come up with "y" words."

"Am not," I lied.

"Are to."

"Am not!"

"Are to. Has anyone ever told you that when you're mad, you puff out your cheeks and your eyes get really narrow?" he said, amused.

"It's your turn," I snapped.

"Games."

"Sport."

"Tae kwon do."

I racked my brain viciously, while he sat there, grinning and balancing a piece of pizza on his hand. He nibbled at it, looking at me expectantly. The only words that came to my mind were: octopus, opportunity, and octagon. There _has_ to be something; something blatantly obvious...

"Well?"

"Well what?" I frowned.

"I'm waiting."

"Fine, you win!"

"Say it," he beamed.

"Say what?"

"Say Axel, you are so clever and I will never doubt your geniusness again!"

"Geniusness isn't a word," I complained.

"And therefore you refuse to say it?"

"Yes."

"Ok, you can just say I will never doubt your greatness again."

"You're full of it."

"No, you're just a sore loser."

"And you're a smart alec." I looked down at my phone, which was vibrating violently. It was Kelly again, so I clicked ignore. I also had a text message: **Opera**. "Opera!" I exclaimed triumphantly.

"That doesn't count."

"Why not? You can't be getting _competitive_ on me, can you?" I mocked.

"You should already know that I'm competitive. And, besides, you took too long answering and I'm ninety-nine point nine percent sure that someone texted you that."

"So?" I griped. "I like playing Truth more."

"Until I win at that, too."

"Shut up," I repeated.

**That's not a very nice thing to say. Although those black Rustler jeans are VERY nice.**

"What the..." I muttered, looking down at my jeans. "How did he know?"

"Know what?" Axel asked, unceremoniously dumping the now-empty pizza box in the trash.

"Know what I'm wearing."

"Give me that." Axel snatched my phone out of my hand. He began to text something in angrily, even though I told him that you can't text a restricted number back. I watched as his eyes widened and he gawked at my phone is disbelief.

"What?" I asked.

"It's dissing me!"

"You seem shocked," I smirked. I promptly stopped as Axel frowned deeply, and continued to stare at my phone. "What's it saying?"

"It's saying to give you back your phone and..." his voice faded. "How...only Demyx..." His face cleared as he realized something. He looked up at me. "_Demyx_."

He tossed me my phone after pressing something in, then used his own phone to call Demyx.

"Hello?" he said, holding it face-up on his palm.

"Hi Axel," I heard Demyx say. Axel had put him on speaker phone.

"Are you home?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Can I come over?"

"I'm kind of busy," he said, annoyed.

"I know," Axel said, sounding just as annoyed. "I'm coming over anyway. In fact, I'm almost there."

"Hate to break this to you, but I'm not home."

"Oh, really?" Axel said wryly. "Where are you then?"

"I'm—"

There was a swooshing sound then: "Axel?"

"Zexion?" Axel asked, confused.

"Leave us alone," he said sternly.

"Where are you guys?"

"We're somewhere," he said, sounding, for some reason, embarrassed. "Now please go away."

"Tell Demyx to stop it, or I'll beat him into next month," he said cheerfully.

"What'd he do this time?"

"Oh, just sent Roxas a bunch of threats. The usual."

"Did you really, Demyx?"

There was some inaudible mumbling in the background, then Zexion said coolly, "He doesn't know what you're talking about."

"Then he must have been telling everyone about me," Axel said crossly.

"Like?"

"I'm sure he's told you," he muttered. "Where are you, again?"

"Mind your own business."

"How can I, when—"

"Go bug someone else. Bye."

"Damn." Axel snapped his phone closed.

"Whoever it is, they've seen me today, and they can obviously hear us," I pointed out.

"It has to be Larxene or Xion or Xemnas or Luxord or Xaldin."

**Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong.** I ignored it, saying, "I bet it's Larxene."

"More interrogations," he murmured.

We found Larxene in her room. She looked up as we barged inside; she was sitting on a fancy white loveseat in the corner of the room, fiddling with her nails. Her feet were pulled up next to her, and I could see the cotton balls in-between each of her toes.

"What do you want?" she growled. She held out her hand towards Axel so that we could see her French manicure. "I did a pretty good job, didn't I?"

"Don't you have anything better to do?" He shook his head. "Never mind, don't answer that. Just give us your phone."

"Why?"

"So you can't text Roxas."

"Oh, _Roxas_," she wiggled her fingers at me. "I didn't see you there. I hope you're having a simply marvelous time."

"Stop talking like that, it's annoying," I snapped.

"But I learned it just for you," she pouted, still using that annoying baby voice.

"Well, _un_learn it."

"Oh, that takes _such _a long time though!"

"Will you stop playing games?" Axel held out his hand for her phone.

"I'm not giving you my phone." She switched back to her normal voice which was only a little bit better.

"Give me your phone," Axel said, starting to get angry.

"You have no proof it was me. Instead of making pointless requests," she stood up, smiling like a fox, "why don't you ditch the kid and take me to The Cat's Eye?" She wrapped her arm around his waist, so that the white tips of her fingernails were digging into the fabric of his shirt.

"First off, he's not a kid," he carefully unwrapped himself and stepped away from her, "and second, that's illegal."

"That never stopped you in the past," she laughed shrilly and enthusiastically.

"That was just because I knew the owner."

"She adored you, I swear to god."

"Not really."

"Yes, she did! Remember when she was getting—"

"And she—"

They both suddenly broke off and started laughing. Larxene slipped her hand onto his and clutched it tightly. He didn't seem to notice as he continued to laugh.

I stood there, watching them. Suddenly, my stomach ached and a wave of dizziness passed over me. I ran out of the room and down the hall; I didn't even know why I was doing it, it was like an instinct. I jumped down the stairs a few at a time even while somewhere in the back of my mind I was asking myself what the hell I was doing.

I stopped when I reached the living room. I sat down on one of the couches, setting my head in my knees. It was quiet, besides the steady ticking of a clock somewhere, and it made me relax. My heart rate slowed as I waited for my stomach to calm down. It felt like it was tied into a knot-a knot full of burning acid.

I groaned as my phone vibrated again: **Are you afraid of Larxene? Coward.**

"I'm not afraid of her," I spat out in-between my clenched teeth.

**Then why'd you run away like that?**

"I know who you are."

**Puh-lease. As if.**

"It was pretty obvious."

**I'm still watching you.**

"Are you now? That is so scary." I let my breath out in a long swish to show that I was exasperated, but by no means afraid.

**I have a knife and I'm behind you right now. Did you say good-bye to everyone?**

I looked up, and glanced behind me; there was nothing there, of course. The area behind the couches is pretty open, and there are no good places to hide. "Funny, Larxene, you're a riot."

It was silent for awhile, and I mentally shrugged. I was kind of hoping that someone-namely Axel-would follow me down here but I guess he's too busy with that slut, I thought somewhat resentfully. Then if occurred to me: how would Larxene be texting me right now if she was still talking to Axel?

I glanced around, suspicious. The only places to hide would be directly behind the couch, or in the closet near the front door. I shook, getting the chills. I sat up and leaned over the base of the couch, expecting to see a huddled figure clutching a knife. Maybe the knife would already be stained red, and maybe the figure would jump up in a heartbeat and thrust the knife into my chest. Unbearable pain, tons of blood...I'd die of course, falling over backwards, but before that, I would make sure to get a good look at my killer. Someone would find me soon enough. A shocked Axel? Staring at my stone-cold body and the pool of blood? A disgusted Larxene, screaming?

I was expecting to see cold eyes, a glint of silver, a harsh smile...but what I got was...

Nothing. I've been watching too many horror movies, I told myself, sitting back down.

I settled deeper into the cushions, sighing. Maybe I should just go home.

I heard a rustling and my neck cracked in the direction of the window. "Who's there?" I asked, my voice shaking as adrenalin filled my veins and made the blood pound in my ears. I flinched as something landed in my lap.

It was an elephant hand puppet. It was gray and a little frayed looking, although the pink bow around its neck looked silky and brand new. I picked it up, the soft fur brushing across my skin as I got another text message: **Put it on.**

"This isn't funny," I choked out.

I slipped it on; it fit perfectly. "Ooh, this is so scary," I mocked. I stopped short as I felt something on my hand. It wasn't soft like it should be, instead, it was wet.

I lifted my hand suspiciously and the puppet's head bobbed lifelessly. I shrieked as warm blood ran down my arm. I ripped it off my hand and dropped it as if it was a hot coal; it fell to the floor, it's head turned so its button eyes could stare at me.

Blood covered my hand, getting stuck under my nails but otherwise dripping freely.

**Like it? It's my own blood.**

I threw my phone somewhere, my heart beating frantically; my eyes darted around the room, but I couldn't find anything that seemed out of place.

"Roxas?"

I jumped up off of the couch like some petrified animal that has heard a gunshot, but it was only Axel.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked. He stepped around the couch and stopped. His eyes fell upon my hand and he stared. "Holy shit," he said finally.

I stood there, shaking, holding my hand out away from me.

"Are you bleeding?" he asked, stepping closer to me. He grabbed my wrist and held my hand up to inspect it.

"No. It came from that puppet. It just...landed on my lap," I rasped.

"All that blood," he swooped down to pick it up, "came from this?"

I nodded blankly. "The texts..."

He set the puppet down, and grabbed my phone off the floor to scan through the messages. He started to say something when there was a loud bang from the closet.

Axel looped behind the couch to open it and Luxord fell out onto the floor.

"What are you doing?" Axel demanded.

Luxord struggled to straighten his bow tie. "Please, don't tell Xemnas," he slurred.

"Are you drunk?" Axel asked, disgusted.

"No." He tried to grab Axel's leg, and Axel gracefully stepped around his hand.

"What were you doing in the closet?"

"You're...so...tall...Axel," he looked up at him, his eyes hazy and unfocused from his stupor.

"What were you doing in the closet?" Axel repeated calmly.

Luxord didn't say anything, no matter how many times Axel repeated himself; he had passed out. Axel hoisted him up onto his shoulders, saying, "I'll take him to his room."

I followed him past the stairs and to Luxord's room, glancing behind myself constantly.

Axel deposited Luxord onto his bed with a slight groan. "Xemnas is going to kill him for getting drunk again." He turned to me. "C'mon."

He showed me where the bathroom was, and I washed all the blood off. He rinsed the smear of blood he had gotten on himself as well. He still had my phone, and he read the next message out loud, "Ask him if he feels safer now that he's not alone. What the hell?" He raised his voice. "Whoever is doing this is the most sick and revolting human being on the face of the Earth." He looked down at my phone again. "Oh, did I offend you?"

"Give me my phone."

Axel looked taken aback. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

He handed it to me and without a word I turned it off and shoved it in my pocket.

"Who would be that messed up?" Axel asked to himself. "Messed up enough to put blood in a puppet..." he trailed off, looking up at me. "You're really, really pale." Now his voice was shaking, and it scared me more than the threatening texts or the bloody elephant.

I looked away from him and wiped my hands off on a towel hanging by the sink.

"Roxas? Are you ok?" He put his hands on my shoulders and turned my body so that I was forced to look at him.

"Yeah, it was just...creepy," I said weakly. "The blood was probably fake."

"You don't sound convinced."

"It was ketchup or something."

His eyes were searching my face, and he finally nodded, and let go of me. "You're probably right. But still."

I followed him to Xemnas's room. He knocked impatiently, and a man with long, blue hair and an x-shaped scar on his face answered. I would have been more surprised if I wasn't feeling so drained.

"Saix," Axel greeted him. "Where's Xemnas?"

"He's taking a nap," the man, Saix, barked before slamming the door closed.

"That was rude, god," Axel blinked. He looked down at me, and his face softened. "Maybe I should get you home."

"I don't want to go home."

"That _freak_ is probably still around," he said, his voice disdainful.

"We could go somewhere," I suggested.

"I guess," he half agreed. "I have the feeling that this is just a prank of Demyx's."

"He would do that?"

"Yeah, but he wouldn't think that it would have this effect on you. How about we go beat the shit out of him? Does that sound good?"

I allowed myself to laugh at that, feeling a tad better. "Why not?"

I followed him back to the living room, where he picked up the puppet and then grabbed his keys. "Then we can figure out if he's home or not. See if he has a...ummm...what are those things called, Roxas?"

We walked towards his car. "Alibi?"

"Yeah, those things," he chuckled, unlocking his car. I was thankful that night hadn't fallen yet; the sun was shining weakly through dark storm clouds.

I slid into the passenger seat, closing the door behind me softly, and clicking my seat belt in place.

"We can even get ice cream on the way there," Axel tapped the steering wheel as we pulled onto the street. It was easy to tell that he was trying to cheer me up, because I'm sure that I looked like a wreck.

"Ok," I murmured. "What took you so long, anyway?"

"Huh?"

"When I was in the living room."

"Oh. She was attacking me."

I gave him a skeptical look and he continued, "To be honest, we started arguing about you."

"About me?"

"Basically, I got mad, and she was being impossible and yeah."

"Oh."

He glanced at me. "Let's keep playing."

"Truth?"

"Yeah. Hmmm. What's your favorite season?"

"Spring."

"What's wrong with winter?"

"It's too cold. I hate it."

"You seem to hate a lot of things," he mused.

"So what if I do?"

"What things do you love?"

I thought about it seriously for a little while.

"It's really that hard to come up with?" Axel asked.

"Ice cream," I said finally.

"And?"

"Spring."

"Name five things that you love."

"That's not a question," I pointed out.

"I'm just trying to get you to talk," he shrugged. "And it's a new rule."

"What rule?"

"It doesn't have to be a question," he said, matter-of-factly.

"How come you can make new rules whenever you feel like it?"

"I dunno, cause I'm special? Something like that. Feel free to answer whenever you're ready."

I stared out the window, and a few minutes passed by in silence. I smirked as Axel began fidgeting, growing more impatient with each second.

"New rule," he said finally.

"What?"

"You can't take longer than a minute to answer, and if you do, it means you're forfeiting."

"Whatever you say. Ok, five things Roxas loves. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

I wanted to laugh at the eager look on his face. "Do you want me to get you a pen so you can take notes?"

"That would be very helpful, thank you!"

I shook my head. "You're an idiot."

"Remember that I am the driver here."

"Was that a threat?"

"No," he laughed, "if we crashed, it wouldn't just be you who'd get hurt."

"You're right," I said seriously. "The damages your car would take!"

"True," he nodded solemnly.

"Anyway, like I said, ice cream and spring."

"You need three more."

"Days off of school, music, and when people aren't being annoying."

Axel was silent for a while, and I thought that he was shocked, or something. But then he said, "I just realized something."

"What?"

"I left my stereo on."

"Nice going."

He laughed. "Y'know, you had too think too hard for that."

"That's because a hate list is easier," I muttered to myself.

He happened to hear that, which I hadn't planned on. "You have a hate list?"

"Well, yeah," I admitted, afraid he would take it wrong, like most sane people. I can see their reactions now: Kelly-Oh, you poor thing, how can I help? My dad-Get over yourself. Sora-Um...um...here, Roxas, have a puppy! Riku-I bet I'm on it.

Instead of saying anything like that, he said, rather cheerfully, "Then you should have a love list, or a like list, or something to that effect as well."

"That's going to be a short list."

"Not if you list all the kinds of ice cream," he grinned.

Trust Axel to take some dark remark of mine and make it into a joke, I thought. "That'll increase the length by ten-fold," I paused. "It's my turn."

"Ask away." He made a bowing gesture with his hand.

"What's it like living with Xemnas?"

"That place is like my home. Like...I don't know how to explain it...I feel more comfortable there than anywhere else. Xemnas and Saix get on my nerves sometimes," he shrugged, "but we're always there for each other. Example: when Demyx got adopted, we threw a party for him, even though it meant we were going to be seeing a lot less of him."

"This is kind of random, but you guys like form an Organization 13 gang or something, Maybe a cult..."

"It sounds like that, huh?"

"Where do I fit in to all of this?"

"You can be our mascot."

I shot him a dirty look and he added gravely, "Do you, Roxas...uh...what's your last name again?"

"Peyton."

"Ok," he continued just as gravely. "Do you, Roxas Peyton, accept the terms and policies that come with being a member of the highly secretive elite cult Organization 13?"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I feel stupider just for listening to all of that."

"Mean."

"I only speak the truth."

"Are you mocking me?" he pretended to gasp, horrified.

"Maybe. I have another question."

"Yeah?"

"It's about your mom. I won't ask it if you don't want me to."

"Hit me. And you're suppose to ask questions I don't want to answer, remember? That's the point of this game."

"Ok then. After your dad died, wouldn't your mom have complete custody over you?"

"No. The only thing I know about that is that authorities or whoever contacted her, and that she refused to have custody over me. That, or she was "unfit." I lived with Xemnas for the first time, while waiting for foster parents. Name three things you've never done and don't want to."

"I never want to be hospitalized, I never want to go cliff diving, and I never want to skip class."

"That last one was out of spite, wasn't it?" Axel asked flatly.

"I just wanted to see if it annoyed you or not. Ok, I take that one back. I never want to murder someone."

"Ok, I can understand that one. But why don't you want to go cliff diving?"

"For fears of cracking my skull open."

"And you've never been hospitalized?"

"No."

"Never?"

"No."

"_Never_?" he pressed.

"I'm not reckless like some people."

"Hey, I've only been hospitalized for a few broken bones, that time I stepped on a nail, and that time I accidently cut my torso open. Wait, is visiting the ER the same as being hospitalized?"

"I don't know."

"Probably. Does that change your answer?"

"No."

"Do you spend all your time at home?"

"I'll have you know that my home is a very dangerous place. Remember, I basically fell out of a window."

Axel laughed. "Good point. Ok, you are at the doctor's office and he has informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone that you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? And would you be afraid?"

I stared at Axel. "How?"

"What do you mean, how?"

"How do you come up with this stuff?"

"Talent."

"I'll answer it if you do too."

"Ok," he shrugged.

"I probably wouldn't tell anyone, except maybe you. Maybe. I would do everything that I can't get away with and what is there to be afraid of?"

"What kinds of things can you not get away with?"

"I don't know. Yell at my dad, stuff like that. You?"

"I would tell everyone I know, I would do whatever the hell I wanted to including, but not excluded to, taking a permanent break from school, going on a road trip, maybe breaking a few laws. I wouldn't be afraid, as long as I got to do everything I wanted to." He focused on the road, and his eyes appeared blank.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked after it was silent for a while.

Axel shook himself out of his thoughts, glancing at me. "Different stuff. Mostly things you don't want to hear."

"Say it anyway."

"Ok, if you insist," he sighed. "I was thinking about how it's better to open up to people, instead of keeping things hidden. Even if it hurts them, or makes them worry, it..." He shook his head. "I don't know what I'm talking about. Also, I was thinking about how much fun a road trip would be. And I have a completely honest question for you."

"Ok."

"Are you going to die in a month?"

I shot him a look, and a smile broke across his face.

"Ok, I was joking, if you couldn't tell," he said. "When was the last time you were mad?"

"Five seconds ago."

"Really? Oh my god, what happened? Is it Kelly's fault? Is it..._my fault?_"

I ducked my head to hide the fact that I was smiling. When I straightened again, I said, "When I was grounded. Or when I was talking to Larxene."

"You two do not get along. At all."

"Glad you noticed."

"She's not that bad, once you learn how to bring out her good side."

"She has a good side?" I gasped, pretending to be stunned.

"Yeah. One time, she punched someone who was giving Demyx a hard time. She just has to get use to you, I think."

"If that ever happens."

"I forgot to tell you, but I sprinkled your room with a special concoction that I made. It automatically turns anyone who encounters it into a loveable, optimistic person."

"Sora probably ate it all."

Axel laughed. "You think?"

We pulled up to some ice cream parlor I have never heard of; I kind of wanted to go inside, but they had a drive through, so Axel pulled the car up and ordered.

We got sea salt ice cream, of course, which we ate on the way to Demyx's house. Like I have probably mentioned before, he lives in a desolate area and it takes a little while to get there.

"It looks like he's home," Axel said as we walked up to the door. The lights were on inside; out here, however, it was dark. Clouds had engulfed the sky and it seemed eerily silent, which obviously meant that it was going to rain. I shivered as the wind picked up and blew my coat open. Axel knocked on the door. There was a scuffling noise inside, some giggling, and then Demyx appeared.

"Hey, you guys," he grinned at us. "What are you doing here?"

"We've come to beat the shit out of you," Axel said happily.

"What'd I do?" he half whimpered, half accused.

"You should know. Now let us in, it's freezing."

"I don't feel like it."

Axel shoved him out of the way, and the two of us entered while he was still confused.

"Ahh, it's so much warmer in here," Axel murmured, rubbing his hands together.

His house was bathed in friendly light, and heat was being blasted from vents. It seemed more open and, without hoards of high scholars, it was less muggy and overwhelming. And, unless I was mistaken, the whole place smelled like cookies.

"Demyx, I'm going to my meeting." A woman appeared, wearing a purple blouse and a pencil skirt. Her hair was brown and short; it curled out at the ends in an orderly manner. She smiled at the sight of Axel and me, and said, "Who do we have here?"

"This is Axel and Roxas," Demyx introduced.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, really, but I'm in a hurry. If you get hungry, there's a keish in the refrigerator." With that, she marched business-like out the door.

"Was that your mom?" Axel asked.

"Yep."

We followed him to the living room, where I completely halted to a stop.

"Now that you're here, it's like a party!" Sora exclaimed.


	16. Elucidate

A/N: My updating in May will be extremely hectic-busy, busy, unspeakably busy. I am rushing to upload this, so I apologize in advance for bad spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc, etc. Oh and I am not very good at writing mystery-like things, so please tell me if you find any holes. You know, anything that just doesn't make sense. I'd appreciate it; and sorry if this disappoints you...:(

~KeedaxEmry

"What. Are. You. Doing. Here?"

No one else seemed particularly surprised; Sora and Riku were sitting next to each other on the couch, Demyx was standing there, smiling, while Axel helped himself to the plate of cookies sitting on the coffee table.

"There was nothing to do at home," Sora shrugged.

"How do you even know each other?" I asked.

"We have math together," Demyx beamed.

I glanced at Axel, and he stopped, holding a cookie halfway towards his mouth. "Oh yeah," he said, shoving the rest of the cookie in his mouth. "I'm going to kill you, Demyx."

"Why?"

"I got suspended because of you. And Clyde could've-"

"That was to help you!"

"You just make things worse!" With that, Axel picked up the closet thing he could find, which happened to be a bottle of Gatorade. He promptly chucked it at Demyx's face. Demyx winced as it bounced off his forehead and landed on the floor near his feet.

Demyx clutched his head, yelling, "If you didn't want my help, you could have said so! What is wrong with you? You didn't seem mad when I called you the other day!"

"That's because," Axel yelled back, "you just won't quit! Giving Roxas a bloody puppet-"

Zexion chose that moment to walk in; he was carrying a Wii remote, and he was looking at it, preoccupied. Axel stopped as Zexion asked, blinking, "Am I interrupting something?"

"You should put him on a leash," Axel snarled.

"Puppet?" Demyx asked, blankly. "What puppet?"

Axel turned to him furiously. "The elephant."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Do you?" He glanced behind at Zexion.

"No. I could only find one remote."

Sora pranced over to Zexion and grabbed the remote from him. "We're going to play Mario Kart," he informed me before going over to the Wii.

"I know it was you," Axel accused.

"What'd I do?" Demyx asked.

"You were texting Roxas."

"No, I wasn't," Demyx said slowly.

"Give me your phone then."

"Sure." Demyx handed it over.

I looked over Axel's shoulder as he scrolled through sent text messages. They all seemed to be for his mom, not for me.

Axel gave him back his phone, scowling.

"Told you," Demyx muttered.

"I still think it was you," Axel frowned. "Where were you all day?"

"I was at Cherry Creek. After that, I've been hanging out here," he shrugged.

"What now?" I asked Axel. Demyx had decided to dismiss the conversation and was now playing Mario Kart with Sora; Riku and Zexion were sitting near them, watching. I, of course, was still standing there next to Axel.

"We can leave."

At that, Demyx looked in our direction, raising his voice to say, "When it stops raining, I have something to show you, Axel."

"It's raining?" Axel asked himself. He pulled back the curtains and, sure enough, it was. He let go and the curtains swung back into place. "Are you sure you didn't-"

"Axel, for the last time, I had nothing to do with it!" Demyx exclaimed.

"Whatever," Axel muttered. "Do you mind?" he asked me.

"If we stay here?"

"Yeah."

I shrugged.

"You're supposed to be at home," Riku mumbled.

"We can vouch for him," Sora smiled at me. Riku crossed his arms over his chest but didn't say anything.

That's how I found myself playing board games while waiting for the rain to let up. I mostly played card games with Axel and, sometimes, Demyx. By the time the sound of rain pattering on the roof disappeared, it was late. The sun had set a while ago, although I had no clue what time it was. I didn't want to turn my phone back on, and all the clocks at Demyx's house say different things.

I leaned against a door in the entryway; it must lead to another room, or to a basement. Demyx and Axel were getting ready to leave while everyone else was still in the living room.

"This'll be great," Demyx grinned, his fingers swiftly buttoning up his jacket.

"Sure," Axel said, much less enthusiastic. You could tell he still blamed Demyx, so he was acting peeved whenever he was around him. "Do you have another coat, Roxas?"

"No, but-"

"He can't come," Demyx cut in.

"And why not?" Axel frowned.

"Because it's for your eyes only."

"Don't let Zexion hear you saying that."

Demyx glared at him. "Roxas wouldn't understand, ok?"

"If you say so."

"Yes, I do say so. Now come on."

Demyx dragged Axel out into the cold. He slammed the door and the freezing air abruptly stopped blowing over me.

I went back to the living room after catching a glimpse of Demyx and Axel walking out towards the left side of the house and deeper into the forest.

I sat down against the wall; Sora, Riku, and Zexion were just lounging around, talking.

"…that's my favorite part," Sora was saying.

Riku stood up. "I have to go to the bathroom."

He disappeared upstairs.

"I have to go too," Sora bounded happily after him.

"I'm not even going to ask," I muttered.

Zexion and I continued to sit there, and it would have been awkward, if he hadn't stood up a second later. "They're ridiculous," he nodded towards me before leaving.

Ok, I thought, they all ditched me. Not that it matters, because once Axel gets back, we'll probably leave.

A few minutes of solitude passed; I kept my thoughts trained on the new book I'm reading. It's was a fantasy-horror type thing where characters will die without any evidence to point out the killer, and it's your job to figure out who did it. It's going to be the housekeeper, I thought, and the cheerful florist is going to die next.

I sighed, and looked around at the room. It appeared too orderly and clean, showing that Demyx's mom was probably the obsessive type.

The lights suddenly blinked off. I stood up, my eyes straining to see anything that was more than two inches away. I felt my way towards the doorway-banging my knee painfully on the coffee table. I doubled over, groaning; I must have hit a nerve because it throbbed more than it should have.

I looked up and my eye caught on something that seemed off. It was a slight movement that was barely discernible. It reminded me of the evaporation that bends the air on really hot days or the shadows that seem to shift and twist when you're home alone after watching a particularly scary movie. Practically invisible, but still there. The second I noticed it, it was gone and my eyes searched for it blindly. The pattern seemed to go on forever: black upon black upon black.

I took a few uncertain steps forward, the nerves in my leg jolting. I held my hands in front of me and took tiny, shuffling steps, not wanting to run into any other hard objects. It was probably a power out, I told myself, ignoring a few obvious facts that wanted to hurl themselves in my face. Like the fact that it was no longer raining.

If it's a power out, I thought suddenly, what am I doing? I should just wait for the lights to come back on…

That's when I saw it again: a slight movement from the direction of the doorway.

"Sora?" I called out, louder than I had intended to.

The movement vanished and I thought I heard a sharp intake of breath. Or maybe that was my overactive imagination.

"Riku? Zexion?" I stepped forward, and my hand fell on the door frame. My fingers wrapped around it and my eyes continued their desperate search, the words 'It means you die tonight' popping in my head; I shook it away even as my heart tried to tear its way out of my ribcage and a cold sweat broke over me. I ignored the lead in my legs, and left the living room.

"Sora?" I called again. it has to be Sora trying to scare me; who else-

A hand gripped my shoulder and my breath got stuck in my throat. I was rooted to the spot, paralyzed like a deer caught in headlights. I heard raspy, rattling laughter that sent me more on edge. Then the person leaned forward, letting their hot breath blow over my ear before speaking.

"I wasn't kidding," the hoarse, scratchy voice whispered.

I was late reacting, but I did react. I violently jerked forward out of the person's grip and spun around to protect myself. Whoever it was decided it was best to bolt; I saw a blur of movement, then nothing. It was just too freaking dark to see much of anything.

I stumbled forwards towards what I hoped was the front door. There was a deafening crashing sound of shattering glass. I glanced behind, my hand already yanking the door open.

The motion-censer light outside flickered on, enabling me to catch a glimpse of the person behind me.

The person was wearing bulky, black clothing; a pulled-up hood cast shadows across his face, so I couldn't see who it was. But that's not what bothered me. What bothered me was the large, butcher knife he was holding up. As the light fell on it, it glinted.

The person took a step forward and I ran blindly. I raced to the left side of the house, praying that Axel and Demyx were done doing whatever they had been doing; it would have been more logical to go to a neighbor's house, but Demyx has no neighbors, and I wasn't thinking but acting. My adrenalin and fear was controlling me, and I couldn't think about more than one thing at a time. The thought occupying most of my time at the moment was: someone insane is trying to kill me.

I managed to catch the sound of Demyx laughing. It sounded like it was coming from the forest, so that's where I was headed.

It only took me a few seconds to find them. They were a few yards into the woods, walking back to Demyx's house. They looked up at me, alarmed.

I skidded to a stop, one last branch cracking under my feet. I glanced back, but the only things I could see were the dark outlines of trees.

Demyx promptly bursted out laughing. I tried to slow my breathing down so that I could say something. When I finally could, I said, "Someone is trying to kill me."

"I think you're jumping to conclusions." Demyx was practically doubled-over in his laughter.

Axel took this as initiative to glare at him. "What did you do?"

They started arguing but I was finding it hard to concentrate. My lungs screamed for oxygen, and my throat stung. My body hadn't had this kind of reaction since the beginning of track last year; not only that, the presence of Axel and Demyx did nothing to calm me down. I was still tensed, ready to run at any given second, and I could feel my heart beating rapidly like a bass drum.

Axel cut off the argument abruptly. He strode past me, grabbing my elbow and dragging me with him. The only time I had seen him this pissed was when I told him Clyde had caused the bruise on my face.

"Wait, it was a joke!" Demyx yelled, jogging to catch up with us.

Axel refused to acknowledge him. Instead, he turned to me and asked if I was ok.

I nodded vacantly, unsure of what was going on.

"Axel," Demyx whined. "We just turned off the lights! That's it, I swear!"

"Then who was the person with the knife?" I asked. I was already calming down, after hearing that it was just a stupid joke. I would have been mad if I hadn't been so void of thoughts or emotions; slowly the shock would ebb away and I would be as mad as Axel.

"Knife?" Axel let go of me and spun around to face Demyx. "You had someone threaten him with a knife?"

Whoops, I thought. Demyx bit his lip, uncertain. "That wasn't a part of the plan," he said weakly.

"What plan?" Axel barked.

"The...plan..." Demyx choked out. Axel advanced towards him, and he backed away.

"I knew it was you. It's always you," he spat, grabbing Demyx's collar roughly.

From where I was standing, I could only see a part of Demyx's face and Axel's back. Demyx gulped and sputtered, "I'll tell you everything! Just let go!"

Axel did let go, but then roughly shoved Demyx away from him.

I expected them to start fighting right there, and I wasn't in the mood to watch another Axel-and-whoever-had-been-messing-with-me-tussle. "Can we just leave?" I asked.

Axel left Demyx and led me out of the forest.

"Remember those family meetings we use to have?" Demyx kept an even pace with us. I couldn't help thinking, does he want Axel to hurt him?

Axel, of course, ignored him and he continued. "We can have another one of those. With everyone. And I'll explain, because Roxas makes it sound bad," he laughed nervously.

We reached the house; the lights were on inside. Axel ignored that as well, and unlocked his car.

"I'll meet you there, ok?" Demyx kept at it.

"Whatever." Axel practically ripped his door off its hinges and fell into the seat, shoving his keys in the ignition.

I skirted around to the other side and got in as well. I wanted to get as far away from here as possible.

"Thirty minutes," Demyx called over his shoulder, running back into the house.

"Why am I friends with that idiot?" Axel muttered, putting the car in reverse.

I stayed quiet, staring out the window.

I tried my best to stay awake through the car ride, but the gentle rocking got to me and I nodded off.

"Roxas," Axel shook my shoulder.

I blinked awake, sitting up a little straighter. "What are we doing here?" I asked, seeing my house in front of us.

"I'm not doing anything. You're going to bed. C'mon."

He got out of the car and beckoned to me. I shook my head, which made him come to the other side of the car and open my door.

"C'mon," he said again. I wrapped my arms tightly across my stomach as the cold hit me.

"No. Aren't you going to a meeting or something?"

Axel sighed, saying, "Yes, so I can figure out what the hell is going on."

"Can't I go?"

"That's not necessary. I'll tell you everything tomorrow."

"I'm the one who was attacked. I have the right to go."

"You'll fall asleep there. And what do you expect? It's just going to be Demyx saying that it was his idea, etc, etc."

"I don't care."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Axel, I'm sure," I groaned. "Can you shut the door now? It's freezing."

He did so, and slid back into the driver's seat. We were silent on the drive there, other than a few scattered curses towards Demyx that Axel muttered under his breath. This time, at least, I was able to stay awake.

When we arrived there, everyone was waiting for us. They were all situated around the long dining room table: at the head of the table was Xemnas, to his left was Saix, Luxord, Xaldin, Xion and Larxene. To his right were Demyx, Zexion, Sora, and Riku. There was one empty seat next to Riku, and one at the other head of the table. Axel sat in the former, so I found myself sitting directly across from Xemnas.

"What's the meaning of this, Demyx? And who are you?" Xemnas's voice rumbled over the room. It was a little imitating, although I got the feeling that he wasn't trying to scare us, he was just making sure everyone could hear him.

Sora gave a slight start at that. Then he recovered, piping up, "I'm Sora and this is Riku. That's my brother Roxas."

"Are you all aware that it's practically midnight?" Xemnas frowned.

"Yes," Zexion spoke, "but we decided it was in our best interest to sort this out as soon as possible."

"Do I have to be here?" Luxord slurred. I could only see his blonde hair, since he was resting his head on the table.

"I know you handle alcohol all day, but why do you insist on getting so drunk you can't stand up?" Xemnas said.

"I had nothing to do with it, can I go back to bed?" Larxene muttered.

Saix shot her a dirty look and she leaned back in her seat, scowling.

"From what I understand," Xemnas continued, "one of you pulled a prank on that kid?" He nodded towards me. "And now you want me to sort it out when it's your own problem?"

"This was just to get Axel here," Demyx said.

"Ok, so what happened?"

"I was at Demyx's house one day," Sora said, "and I was telling him about a trick Roxas and Axel pulled on me when this Geico commercial came on."

"It was the one where the money thing is texting that woman," Demyx filled in.

"That's how we got the idea. Oh, Roxas, I'm so sorry! This is all my fault!" Sora cried.

I blinked. Well, it was more like I closed my eyes for a few fleeting seconds than forced them back open. I wasn't surprised or anything, just tired.

Demyx continued, "So this morning, I set up the texts. Then when you were at my house, I got Zexion to go downstairs to turn off the lights by using the circuit breaker."

"Who grabbed me?" I asked.

Riku put up his pointer finger up, which was an equivalent to "It was me."

"Then who had the knife?"

Most of the people around the table stirred, and glanced around. "Riku?" Sora poked him after it was quiet for a few moments.

He shook his head.

"That's the thing," Zexion said, "we don't know who you're talking about."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Axel scowled.

"Demyx and Axel were in the forest. I was in the basement, getting ready to turn the lights back on; Riku and Sora were upstairs."

Everyone nodded confirmation when their name was said.

"One of you had to have done it," Axel said accusingly. "_Zexion_."

"I didn't do it," he said flatly, the expression on his face the same as always: stoic and imperturbable.

"That's not all," I said. "Who was texting me?"

"Oh. That was Xion, of course," Demyx said.

"I told you so," Larxene said with a sneer directed towards Axel and me.

Xion gave a small, weak nod from where she was staring into her lap.

"What about the puppet?" Axel asked.

"I only planned the texts," Demyx said, perplexed.

"Wait. I'll go get it." Axel stood up, his chair scrapping against the floor. He left us sitting there, unsure of what to do.

Hushed conversations whirled around the room. I only managed to catch some of them:

"This is starting to freak me out, Riku," Sora whined.

"It doesn't make sense," Riku shook his head. "Did you tell your mom where you are?"

"No..."

From what I could tell, Luxord and Xaldin were complaining about having to stay up late for this. The most interesting conversation, though, was Xemnas and Xion's. Maybe it was because Xion seemed to have trouble stringing more than two coherent words together.

"Why did you do their dirty work?" Xemnas asked, reminding me of a concerned father.

"I didn't want to. And I only did what they asked," Xion murmured, her voice soft and practically inaudible.

"You mustn't let yourself be influenced by the wrong people."

"I know. I…can't…"

"Remember what I told you about Hailey-"

"I get it," she said, actually interrupting him.

"And Aerith-"

"_Don't_," she snapped. Xemnas drew himself up to full height, to seem more threatening, or to put some distance between the two, I don't know.

"I'm sorry-"

Saix cut him off by saying, "He's back, sir."

"For the last time, don't call me sir."

I twisted in my seat, and sure enough, Axel strode into the room, carrying the puppet gingerly as if it was poisonous.

He set on the table, sitting back down.

Sora quickly scooped it up. "What is-" he yelped, and dropped it. "Blood?" he croaked, rubbing his fingers together to get it off.

"What the hell?" Riku examined it.

"It's chicken blood," Xaldin said gruffly.

Xemnas looked at him curiously and he continued, "How was I suppose to know she'd give it to him? All she said was that she wanted it." He shrugged.

"She?" Xemnas inquired.

"Xion, who else?"

"You thought it was ok to give a girl chicken blood?" he asked slowly.

"I don't see why not. She had me put it in that thing."

Everyone was now staring at Xion. To think someone as shy and skittish as her could scare me that badly was laughable, really.

"I…was….t-t-told to," she bit her lip, not meeting eye contact with anyone.

"That is _not_ what I told you," Demyx exclaimed. "I told you to shake him up a little, that's all!"

"….trying to….do…..s-s-s-something right..."

"What's wrong with you?" Axel snapped. "You can barely say a thing, but somehow you find it appropriate to put blood in a puppet and give it to someone?"

"I….I…." She gave a loud sob, jumped out of her chair, and ran out of the room.

Xemnas watched her go, somewhat sadly. Saix, Xaldin, and Larxene seemed bored, while both Axel and Demyx were furious; Sora was scrunching his forehead up in confusion, and Riku was tapping the table with his fingers as if this was a same-old-same-old situation. Zexion's face was impassive-we could have been talking about the school or the weather, not about some twisted prank pulled by an insecure teenage girl.

"I have to admit, I think she was the one with the knife," Xemnas spoke loudly and clearly like a college professor. "She asked me to drive her over to Demyx's house and I did."

"Why would she want to do this?" Zexion asked.

"You must understand, she's had a lot of problems."

"Enough to make her chase after someone while carrying a knife?" Axel asked, his voice skeptical and bitter. "It's demented."

"She probably thought she was doing the right thing."

"Don't stand up for her!" Axel bursted out.

"Yeah, she could've given Roxas a heart attack!" Demyx exclaimed.

"You stay out of this," Axel growled at him.

"I told her to send one or two text messages! And it was for Sora's revenge!" Demyx pleaded.

"Guys," Saix rubbed his temples, "it's too late to talk that loudly."

"Yeah, I think I'm going to bed," Xaldin said. A few people muttered in agreement.

Xaldin carried Luxord off (he was out), and Larxene and Saix followed suit.

"Good night," Xemnas called after them. He was a very polite guy, I noted.

"Xion is the spawn of satin," Axel grumbled.

"I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear!" Demyx tried again.

"Sure you didn't."

"Axel," Sora said, "we didn't think Roxas would get scared. We expected him to see through it in five seconds, get annoyed, and move on. And I didn't know Xion, of course, but I trusted her to do what Demyx said."

"Don't say me and Zexion didn't try to stop you," Riku said.

"We did tell you it would end badly," Zexion agreed.

"God, how many people knew about this?" I moaned.

Everyone turned to me, as if noticing me for the first time. "I'm sorry, Roxas," the culprits cried in union after Axel prompted them to.

They started complaining about Xion, but Xemnas cut them off. "Whether or not what she did was justified," he said, "is beside the point. We-"

"It is not beside the point! She needs to be punished!"

"Severely!"

The first part was Axel, of course, and the second part was Demyx, trying to be helpful.

"That is in my hands." Axel was about to protest, but he put his hand up to stop him. "She won't go unpunished, as you understand. Now, Roxas," he smiled at me, "you've barely said anything. Are you ok?"

"Yeah. Just tired."

"Oh, but of course you are. It is," he checked his watch, "_extremely_ late. If we're done here..."

Everyone scattered; Axel drove me home, and we arrived right after Sora and Riku did.

I said good bye to Axel, and met the two on the porch.

"I hope we're not in trouble," Sora whimpered, pushing the door open.

He glanced at us gravely before going to the living room where Kelly was waiting.

"I was so worried!" she exclaimed the second we were all there. From the looks of it, she thought we were dead. All of the lights were on, the TV showed some reality show that was muted, a box of tissues sat on her lap, and her eyes were bloodshot. "I tried calling," she took a deep, trembling breath, "but no one was answering and-"

"Mom, my phone died, remember?" Sora cut in.

"I left my phone upstairs," Riku said.

"My phone has been off," I muttered.

She paused, then completely broke down; Sora embraced her as she cried. It was hard to tell what she was saying, although in-between the blubbering, I heard: "….thank goodness….didn't…worst….."

"Where were you?" she finally asked, having stopped crying.

Sora stepped away from her, and smiled. "We met Roxas at Demyx's house."

"What were you doing there and why did you get home so late?"

"We were playing Mario Kart. And then we were figuring out who was trying to kill Roxas," Sora said, still sounding as happy as ever.

Kelly, who had by then calmed down, lost it. She made it to my side in a split second, grabbed my shoulders, and, panic-stricken, blurted out question after question.

"It was just a prank," I said when she had to take a breath. Sora was biting his lip regretfully, like 'whoops, maybe I should learn to shut my mouth'; Riku was watching us, like 'I want to go to bed, but I am obliged to stay here, because if I don't, Sora will get upset'. At least, that's what it seemed like.

"Are you sure? How do you know?"

"Yes. I know who did it and everything," I said, not sure if I hid my exasperation or not.

"Oh, you three," she paused, as if for effect, "are going to give me a heart attack. Roxas, I had no idea where you were, and then you three show up really late and tell me this! I was _so _worried! I thought you had been kidnapped, or assaulted, or hurt, or that you were bleeding by a highway, or m-m-m-m-m-"

She broke off abruptly, fighting back tears. I'm assuming that she was trying to say 'murder', but even acknowledging the word was too much for her to bear. Even while raving hysterically, her voice had a perky, sing-song quality to it, which annoyed me more than the fact that she was still holding on to me.

"Kelly?" my dad appeared in the doorway, wearing pajamas and a concerned look.

She let her arms drop, and dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve.

My dad glared at me for a second, like this whole situation was my fault. Then he said, "Explain yourselves."

Sora's eyes widened, probably because he was surprised by the harsh tone in my dad's voice. He proceeded to tell the entire story (or most of it) with little details provided by me and Riku.

"Sora," Kelly said, trying to sound stern, "what do you say?"

"I'm sorry Roxas," he chimed. I got the feeling that he had said this before. "And in the future, I will try to solve problems with _words_ not _violence_ or _cruel pranks_. I hope that you will do the same."

Psychology talk, I thought.

"Roxas," Kelly said slowly, "when two people disagree…"

That's all I heard, because I have learned to automatically zone her out. Especially when I am tired, and my goal is to shut her up as soon as possible. She continued talking in her weird mumbo-jumbo ex-counselor talk for a few minutes, while I nodded stupidly and pretended to be listening.

"….do you understand?"

"Uh-huh," I drawled.

"So, Roxas, what do you say?"

"Uhhhhh, I'm sorry Sora, and in the future, I will try to…solve problems…..with words instead of pranks."

"That was good for your first time," she beamed at me.

I wasn't even listening, I thought. Idiot.

"Maybe we should discuss a few house rules, including a curfew," my dad said, walking around us to sit on the couch.

Kelly sat next to him, still looking flustered. "Oscar, it is rather late, and school starts on Monday."

"But, if things like _this_ keep happening, we are going to have a lot of late nights as it is."

He could have just pointed at me, since it was obviously who he was talking about.

"Ok, what do you think would be a good curfew?" Kelly asked.

"I was thinking ten on school nights and midnight on weekends."

"I think that sounds fair."

"Roxas, you do remember that you are grounded?"

I nodded.

"And that you left without saying anything?"

I nodded; Sora glanced at me nervously.

"Well?" my dad asked simply.

"I forgot to tell mom," Sora said, "that he was going to hang out with me and Riku today."

"And, if I remember correctly, you said I could hang out with family," I pointed out.

Both Sora and Kelly were happy that I had called them 'family' but my dad didn't appear to care. "That didn't include friends," he said.

"Demyx is their friend," I shrugged, "and I was just going along with what they wanted to do."

"If-"

"Oscar, it's fine. And don't you think that our punishment was a little insensitive?" Kelly murmured.

"Yes, dear, but-"

"Then it's settled! Everyone up to bed!" she smiled at us.

"Sounds good to me…" I muttered to myself.

Sora and Riku followed me upstairs, and, while passing me on the way to their room, Sora gave me an encouraging smile.

I was getting ready for bed, when I came upon the envelope Axel had given me.

I stood there in the bathroom, one of my hands still hovering above my pajamas.

I looked at the front side of it, where the address goes. It was smaller than I had first thought; I flipped it over to the other side, my finger already underneath the flap.

I stopped when it was halfway open. I really badly wanted to open it and see what was inside but…

Axel didn't want me to. Opening it would be a selfish act on my part, and he had trusted me enough to give it to me early.

So I put it away, telling myself that I would open it before May, regardless of what Axel tells me.

A/N: Was that what you were expecting? I don't think it was that exciting, to be honest, but I really did try. And if you couldn't tell, I really don't like Xion. =.=

~KeedaxEmry


	17. Obscure

A/N: For those of you who don't speak Spanish, you can ask me for a translation. However, if you do speak Spanish, feel free to correct me because I used Google Translate. (I speak very little Spanish...) And I'm sorry it's taking me forever to get to any Akuroku, I am easily distracted and I write way too much. Soon, I promise! :)

~KeedaxEmry

I was walking to gym class, weaving my way past people so that I wouldn't be late. Axel wasn't following me for once; maybe he had given up on the idea of getting me to ditch class.

The gym teacher was going through the attendance when it happened. One second, Clyde was giving me a sheepish smile (he still felt guilty) and the next, everyone was covering their ears. The fire alarm was going off. People jumped up, seeming pleased at the prospect of missing class.

The fire alarm was jarring and high pitched, going off every second with a long, blaring tone. It made the pressure in my ears go haywire, and the pounding in my skull increased in intensity.

The students marched to the exit, and I followed suit. Anything to stop the alarm from making my head explode.

It was a frenzy outside: students and faculty alike rushed around like ants, trying to get where they needed to go. I had no idea where that was. Small groups of kids were standing near a specific teacher, while others were messing around, throwing snow at each other.

The small layer of snow was nothing compared to what I was use to, but that didn't make me like it any more. Mainly, I didn't like the fact that I had to endure the cold while things were sorted out. In Montana, it would have been around twenty degrees. Here, it wasn't even below freezing. Still, I hated the cold and everything that goes with it: snow, ice, frost. At the same time, I wanted to laugh at the people who thought this was freezing; the people wrapping their arms around themselves and huddling together.

I walked aimlessly through the crowd, the snow crunching under my feet.

"Hey."

Axel appeared out of nowhere and looped next to me.

I nodded at him, asking, "Where are we suppose to go?"

"Your first hour class."

I was about to head over towards my history teacher when Axel stopped me. "School's fun now, huh?"

"No," I paused, glancing at him. "Let me guess. You had something to do with this?"

"Maybe," he grinned.

"You're going to get in trouble again."

"Nah, I used plastic bags so they can't track me."

"Ok?"

"When I pulled the alarm, silly," he smirked.

"People are going to hear you," I hissed as a group of girls stared at us. Or maybe they were staring at Axel, considering that was pretty normal.

"I'm not w-" he stopped short. I looked up from my feet to see a blushing girl in front of us. I recognized her: she was one of the girls in my history class who spent her time drooling over guys. She was wearing a gray sweater, and pink cargo boots that had pompoms dangling from the tops; her bangs kept falling into her eyes and making her flick her neck to get them out.

"Hi," she beamed.

"Hi," Axel barely acknowledged her, already stepping around to her right.

She matched his pace. "Your name is Axel Vantwellez, right?"

"Yeah."

"I love the name Vantwellez, I really do," she gushed. "Is it Hispanic?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"Well, people say-"

"What do people say?"

"They, um," she paused, daunted and slightly startled from the way Axel had snapped at her. It was clear that Axel was getting annoyed, but she quickly composed herself. "They say that you're really good at speaking Spanish, which I am really, really terrible at."

"No sé adónde vas con esta mi querida."

She giggled. "I was wondering if you could tutor me. I _can't_ fail another class."

"Hmm." They both stopped walking and stood facing each other. "When would this be?"

"After school."

"Uh-huh." His tone of voice made it obvious that he wasn't interested, but she didn't seem to pick up on it. "And where?"

"At my house."

"I see...and, by chance, who would be there?"

"Just us."

"Oh. In that case..." Axel went on to rapidly spit out words in Spanish. He said it with such venom, that the girl flinched. Or it could have been _what _he said, which I concluded was something profane. Not that I speak Spanish.

"I...didn't..." she muttered, at a loss for words.

"Oh, estoy seguro de que no es lo que tenia en mente," he said sarcastically.

We left her standing there.

"What did you say?" I asked, curious.

"Nothing much."

"You should have taken her up on that, she was pretty cute."

He gave me a look, knowing that I was trying to annoy him.

"She obviously knew Spanish," he griped.

"How did you know?"

"Her reactions to what I was saying. And besides, I don't think she's ever failed a class."

"What were you saying?"

"Nothing much. Anyway," he said firmly. "I have a surprise for you, but we'll have to leave."

"What is it?"

"A surprise."

"Which is?"

"Something you won't know about until you see it."

"How long will it take?"

"A while."

"I was just grounded, if you recall."

"But you aren't anymore."

"And I don't want to be grounded again. How would you like spending your weeknights doing homework and enduring family night?"

"Family night?"

"It's something Kelly made up. Immediately after dinner, we all do something together. Watch a movie, or play a game Kelly learned when she was counselor," I shuddered.

"In that case, I think I would rather use a hammer to crack my skull in."

I shot him a dirty look.

"What? It can't be that bad," he reasoned.

"I'll invite you to the next one. You'll regret it, trust me."

"Ok, Roxie. But not tonight."

"Delaying the pain?"

"No," he laughed. "Demyx is having a bonfire."

"Oh, right."

"He's trying to make it up to us. Y'know, for being a complete and total-"

"Where are you suppose to be?" Mr. Frijol, our Biology teacher, was standing in front of us. He made me want to laugh because of the way he had said that; he spoke like he was incredibly nervous and like he was trying, unsuccessfully, to sound authoritative. We could have said 'We're going to the circus!' and he would have nodded and agreed with us.

Axel gestured around the school building, towards the front. "Our teacher's over there."

"Is she? Oh, ok," he straightened his coat a little. "Well, go ahead."

"Yes, sir," Axel saluted him, obviously taunting him.

We walked in the direction Axel had pointed out; it was completely empty.

"Let's go," he said cheerfully.

"Um," I glanced behind me at where everyone was still gathered. "I don't want to get grounded. Or suspended."

"They never notice anything," he reassured. "If your parents find out, make something up."

"That's easier said than done."

"No, it's pretty easy." We cut across the street, and soon the school was out of sight. I didn't really think about the fact that I was skipping class. I walked next to him, the conversation preoccupying my thoughts.

"Really."

"Yep. Ask me what I did last night."

"Ok, what'd you do last night?"

"I was invited to the White House to have dinner with the president," he said seriously. "Halfway through the meal, he started choking and I saved him by using the Heimlich maneuver."

He made it sound believable until the very end. When he said "Heimlich maneuver" he looked at me fleetingly, and bursted out laughing, causing the "er" to stretch out.

"I can't lie to you," he said. "It sucks."

"Thanks."

"Every time you say something sarcastic, you owe me a nickel."

"As much as I would love to give you my money, I'm afraid I can't. I have to pay off the mortgage."

"Aww, I was going to be rich."

"Better luck next time. How long is it going to take to get to the surprise?"

"I don't know."

"Did we have to walk? In case you didn't notice, it's December. And in case you didn't know, December is in winter."

"I think someone would have noticed us."

"Someone probably did."

"Lighten up. What's the worst they can do? You got to keep your phone for the week you were grounded."

"That's because Kelly was paranoid."

"Tsk, she had the right to. Xion is a nutcase."

"Where has she been all week, anyway?"

Axel shrugged. "Xemnas told me that she's sick."

"Ok. Where are we going?"

We had somehow ended up in a forest; the trees struck me as huge. I craned my neck up to try and see the tops. They were as tall as they were wide. The leaves had fallen off, and it left them looking desolate and bear. It was eerie.

"We're going to the land of the elves."

"That's impossible. The elves live in my backyard."

"Little boys who lie end up getting eaten by fish."

"...what?"

"Y'know, that Disney movie where the boy's nose grows longer every time he lies."

"Pinocchio?"

"Yeah, that."

"He doesn't get eaten by a fish."

"He doesn't?"

"No. It's a whale."

"That's what I meant," he waved dismissively.

"How can you forget that?"

"How can you remember that?"

"Sora and Kelly."

"Oh," Axel smiled knowingly. I had complained about them on countless occasions, so he probably knew more about them than he wanted to. At least I avoided talking about my dad or Riku; there wasn't much to say there, considering Riku spent his time avoiding me whenever it was possible to do so. And my dad-

"You're lucky that you're a freshman," he said, snapping me away from my thoughts.

"Why?"

"I have been scrambling around all year to make sure I graduate."

"That sounds like a personal problem."

"But when you're a freshman," he continued, "you can pretty much slack off all day."

"I think you still do that."

"Do not," he shook his head.

"I don't think I've ever seen you work hard or study or do homework."

"I do that once you leave."

"So you stay up til midnight every day?"

"No, it doesn't take that long."

"I don't see how you have the time. I sure don't."

"If hanging out with me disrupts your studying time, then by all means-"

"No, my grades are fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Really really?"

"Yeah, geez."

"Really, really, really?"

"God, shut up."

"You hurt my feelings," he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out.

"How are your grades then?"

"You tell me first."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes at him. "I am passing all my classes."

"That's splendid, Roxie."

"Never say that word again. it gives me the urge to hurt small animals."

"Which word? That? Splendid? Roxie?"

"All of them."

"Can I say wonderful? Or supercalifragilistic-"

He cut off abruptly when I chucked snow at his face. He blinked, the slushy snow sliding down the side of his cheek. I laughed as he glared at me, but then he smirked, giving me a look I didn't like at all.

"No," I said, trying to sound stern; I probably sounded like Mr. Frijol. I took a step back, Axel advancing towards me, and made the sign to ward off evil. "Back demon!"

"As great as that was," he said, knowing to what I was referring to. "I am going to have to kill you now."

I ran, and snow whirled past my ear. "Ha, you mi-"

Of course, that's when he hit me. The snow seemed to explode all over my face; within seconds, the cold irritated my skin, stinging viciously. The shards felt like they were digging into me.

I wiped it off with my sleeve, grimacing. Axel was laughing, and, for a brief moment, it reminded me of Hayner. We use to have wars like this, I thought. And he would always win. That still hasn't changed, apparently.

Out of nowhere, I was very, very angry. Angry enough to scream in Axel's face or to storm off. My instincts guided me, choosing the latter. I turned my back to him, my hands balled into fists. I walked fast and stiffly, my shoulders squared as if I was trying to say "I'm too good for this." My mind could only focus on Axel's obnoxious laughter.

I only got a few yards away before Axel was in front of me, walking backwards, perfectly in step with my long strides.

"Roxas, I'm sorry."

"Get out of my way." I stepped around him.

"Wait."

I ignored him.

"Wait, Roxas!"

I ignored him.

"Can't you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

I stopped, feeling like I had been slapped in the face. Not because it was corny, or random, or anything like that...my mom use to say that to me. When she forgot to pay the electric bill and I couldn't watch my favorite cartoons; when she would embarrass me by putting an "I love you" note in my school lunch; when she told Hayner's parents off for not paying enough attention to him, and he got in trouble, and was mad at me for a day. It was pretty much the same phrase she would use consistently, although she would usually tackle 'your crazy mother' on to the end. Tears welled up in my eyes. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of an ocean, and at any second, a wave would crash over me, pulling my head under for good. I could tread for days on end, but eventually, I would get tired and my muscles would stop working. It was no use. And I hated it. No matter how hard I tried, she would pop back in my head and I would break down because of how weak I was. I was covering a flesh wound with gauze and although I couldn't see it, it was still raw and pulsating and bleeding. I wiped my eyes off before Axel could notice. He decided to notice anyway.

"Hey, it's ok," he said softly.

I didn't look up from my shoes. I was sure he was scrutinizing my face, overly worried. I didn't even understand what had made me so angry in the first place, it was just a little snow, for god's sake.

"Roxas, did I do something wrong?"

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. If I tried, I would end up bawling or telling him off; if I opened my mouth, I would screw everything up, like always. It was better to keep my mouth shut.

"Please say something. Roxas?"

Or maybe I would screw everything up by _not_ speaking. Screw what up, I thought bitterly. I ruined anything good in my life a long time ago. I can't do anything right, so why bother?

"What's wrong?"

I swallowed hard. I couldn't bear hearing him sound so anxious and upset, especially when it was caused by the stupid things bouncing around in my mind. My head screamed at me to say something. My mouth opened, but my vocals either gave up on me, or straight up refused. I shut my mouth quickly, probably looking like a suffocating guppy.

"You don't have to tell me."

"I've been lying to you," I finally choked out.

"What?"

"I...I...I'm failing math."

"I can help you."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"C'mon, we still have to make it to the land of elves before school ends."

I looked up, and he smiled at me. It looked less like the Cheshire Cat than it normally did. It was more sincere or sad or...something that I couldn't quite place my finger on it yet. I nodded weakly, and we were back to walking through the clumps of trees. Axel had perked right up. Lucky him. He didn't seem to notice that I felt like curling up in a ball and screaming until I couldn't breathe anymore.

"Are you ok?" Never mind, he notices everything. If I don't want him to notice something, I can't think about it at all...that probably wouldn't help...

"I'm fine," I managed.

"You coulda told me that you were failing math."

That, at least, wasn't a lie. I had never been particularly good with numbers and in-between class, and hanging out with Axel...well, what was of math point anyway? "Yeah," I said.

"I bet Sora could help you," he snorted.

"I don't need his help," I replied dully. "You must have really easy classes."

"The easiest class I have is college algebra."

"What happened to 'college is what adults have rammed into your head'?"

"Who said that?"

"You did."

"I don't remember that," he laughed. "I'll have you know that college is reserved for successful, soon-to-be-very-wealthy people."

"Ok, then."

"Don't I make you want to go to college?"

"Not really."

"Dang, I must not be trying hard enough."

"I guess not."

"When-"

His phone starting going off and he answered it, an annoyed look on his face. It had to be Demyx.

"What do you want?" he asked. "Ok...that's all? I thought you weren't allowed to use phones in class?...don't blame me...ok then."

He snapped his phone closed, and relayed the conversation back to me. Demyx's bonfire had been delayed to an undetermined date.

"You know what that means?"

"What?" I asked.

"I can go to family night."

"Urgg," I groaned.

"I can't wait," Axel beamed.

A little while later, I ended up snapping, "Are we there yet?"

"To the land of the elves?"

"The surprise."

"Oh. I just said that to get you to skip class. And it worked."

"You mean to tell me that we're been walking around mindlessly?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"What was the point of this?" I glared at him.

"I got you to ditch class," he said, obviously pleased with himself.

"And I bet you are very proud of yourself."

"Yes, I am."

"When are we going back?"

"Are you saying that going to school is more entertaining than walking through a forest with yours truly?"

"Sure."

"Well, if we left now, we would get back in time for Biology."

"It's cold."

"Ok, that settles it."

He turned one hundred eight degrees and walked back the way we had come.

"That's weird," he muttered.

I didn't have to ask. It looked like fog had condensed, wrapping around the trunks of trees, and distorting the surroundings. I hadn't noticed it until now. We both shrugged, and kept heading back.

Mr. Frijol didn't even ask why we were late. He was wrapped in up some experiment, test tubes and graphs scattered in front of him. Axel dropped a counterfeit pass on his desk, and sat down in his seat, slouched over as if he was bored out of his mind. Knowing him, he probably was.

I sat next to him, where Wendell usually sits. "What are we suppose to be doing?"

"Waiting til the bell rings," Axel yawned.

Mr. Frijol approached us, and set a plastic Ziploc bag on our table. The contents spilled out: splashes of different colors that reminded me of Legos. There were short pegs, and gray connectors. He gave us two packets.

"We're working on DNA transcription and replication. It's due at the end of the hour," he said briskly, returning to his desk.

I read through the instructions. Every word went over my head, and halfway through the third sentence, my eyes stopped scanning and tried to make sense out of the gibberish. Something about ribonucleic acid...translation...mRNA. It was written in a round-about way that, to me, were just empty words that meant nothing. I stared at it blankly, thinking, weren't we just learning about cell structure? Where did this come from?

I dropped the confusing packet, and it landed with a muted thud. Axel's thin fingers were swiftly assembling something with the Lego-like things we were given. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it seemed to follow a color-coded pattern, that it was DNA (duh) and that he was finished building it. How he had understood the instructions, I have no idea.

"There," Axel admired his handy work. "You want to replicate it?"

"Um, why'd you make two?"

"I didn't make two, those are nucleotides. So you can match the colors up."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Adenine, the orange one, matches with thymine, the green one, etc, etc."

"Adenine?"

He could obviously see that I was confused. He scooted his chair closer to mine so that he could point at some of the text while he explained.

He said it all simply and directly, without any of the scientific words that were stretched out in front of me.

"…and that's what we're doing now," he concluded.

All of a sudden, it made perfect sense.

I helped him with the rest of the work, slightly awed that anyone could understand it. I got the gist of it all, but that was only the surface.

"How did you fail this class? God," I said as we swept the pieces back into the bag. We had finished before anyone else in the class.

"I don't know. I slacked off, I guess."

"What was the point? It's not like you don't know what they're talking about."

He proceeded to mutter something that sounded like mumble work mumble.

"Um, what?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"I wouldn't understand what?"

Axel quickly stood up to give our stuff, the packets and the Lego things, to the teacher. He came back and I asked again.

"Nothing," he said.

"Nothing?"

He nodded.

"I don't understand nothing?"

"You're confusing me."

"I don't think that's possible."

"It's very possible," he shoved my shoulder. "Every day you say something that confuses me."

"Like?"

"Like..." he glanced around, as if looking for inspiration. "Like things."

"Things?"

"Things you say."

"And some examples would be..."

"Things! Stop questioning everything!"

"That wasn't a question."

"It pretty much was," he grumbled.

"I'll stop asking questions if you stop distracting me."

"Distracting you? I would never dream of it."

I shot him a look, and he agreed nonchalantly, shrugging and looking the other way.

"Will you answer my question if I ask it for Truth?" I shoved my things in my backpack and sat back in my chair.

"You're not allowed to ask questions. And that was most conceivably a question."

"You could have just said yes or no."

"That's no fun."

"You want to play Truth?"

"No."

"Ha, you answered me."

"So what?"

"So am I allowed to ask questions now?"

"No."

"But I just did," I pointed out. "Are you sure I'm not allowed to ask questions?"

"Does it matter what I say? You'll just keep asking anyway."

"Am I annoying you?"

"What do you think?" Axel exclaimed, frustrated.

"Hmm, possibly."

Axel laughed. "Possibly?"

I smirked. "You have the weirdest mood swings."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"You went from annoyed to happy in a second."

"I wasn't _that_ annoyed."

"It sure seemed like it."

The class was putting things away and crowding around the door. It must be time to go, I thought. Sure enough, the bell rang as if on cue, and everyone poured out into the hallway.

Axel and I were the last two out.

"Roxas," Sora chirped. He and Riku were waiting for us right outside Mr. Frijol's room; they fell in step with us, Sora and Axel flocking around me while Riku trailed behind us, distancing himself by walking slowly.

"Hi Sora," I droned.

"Did you have a good day?"

"Sure."

"Did _you_ have a good day, Axel?" He peered past me to Axel.

"Yes," he said, "as a matter of fact, I did. I got to go outside because of a fire that could have burned the school to the ground, I ditched most of my classes, oh and I got to pour paint onto some girl's head. It was green. She looks like Fiona now."

"Fiona?" Sora asked happily. He paused, then slowly realized what Axel had said. "Why did you do such a mean thing?"

"It was exhilarating. Did I tell you," Axel said, pretending to be excited, "that I trashed the teacher's work room? I could go to Juvie, but, eh, what are you gonna do?" He shrugged indifferently.

"You did?" he whimpered.

"Sora," Riku called from behind us. "He's pulling your leg."

"What?" Sora examined his leg, taking Riku seriously. "No, he's not."

"He's kidding."

"Ohh. You're kidding?"

Axel shifted his backpack to his other shoulder. "This is no joking matter. If they find out, you'll never see me again. Especially after the cocaine."

"Cocaine?"

"It's that powdery stuff."

"Pixie stix? Those things are really yummy. Mmmm."

"Cocaine's a branch off that. It's like pixie stix but ten thousand times more yummy."

"Can you bring me some? Pleasepleasepleaseplease!"

"Sure, I'll bring you as much cocaine as you want."

"Yay," Sora grinned, enthusiastic. "Riku, you want some cocaine?"

Riku jumped when Sora yelled; he had fallen even farther behind, distracted by something on the wall. Apparently, he was no longer paying attention to the conversation. "Where'd you hear that word?" he yelled back.

Sora skipped over to him. "What are you looking at?" he exclaimed.

Axel and I watched as Riku tried to push Sora away from some poster.

"A hotline?" Sora puzzled over it.

Riku gave him another shove, and Sora almost fell over sideways. Sora gave up, and they both came back.

"Why were you telling him about cocaine?" Riku accused me.

"Cocaine?" I blinked innocently. "What's that?"

"It's candy, Roxas," Sora smiled.

"Sora, it's not candy," Riku said flatly. "And if Kelly hears you saying that, she'll freak."

"Saying what? Cocaine is like pixie stix but a gazillion times more yummy?"

"Sora," Riku said, sounding exasperated. "Remember how there are certain words that we don't say in front of your mom?"

We stepped out into the harsh sunlight, each of us squinting. "Yeah like Blue Moon and for some reason, monster."

"You can say Blue Moon all you want, since I screwed that up," he frowned. "And I still can't believe she figured out what monster means."

"You can't say monster?" Axel asked skeptically.

Riku looked at him as if he hadn't noticed him before (that's how he always looked at him). "No," he said eminently. "So, Sora, you can't say cocaine because she'll think someone tricked you into taking it and now you're addicted and you're going to end up spending your life in jail, and whatever else she can think of."

"I still don't see why I can't say monster. Monsters are scary," Sora pouted.

"Do you remember when...never mind," he added hurriedly.

"Sorry to break up this enchanting conversation, but I think I'm going to leave now," Axel said, indicating that we were near his car.

"But I forgot to invite you to-"

"Family night?" Axel asked, cutting Sora off.

"Yeah."

"That starts after dinner, correct?"

"Uh-huh, but I bet mom wants you to come for dinner too."

"You've been planning this for a while, haven't you?"

"Yeah..."

"You see, I have a car."

Sora nodded uncertainly.

"And I can drive it."

He hesitated, then nodded.

"I can drive it over to your house."

"Ohh," Sora had another moment of realization. "Can we all go with you?"

"Not enough room."

"What if I sat on Riku's lap?"

"Not enough room."

"What if I sat on Riku's lap, and Roxas sat on your lap?"

"Still not enough room and, besides, that's dangerous."

"Why is it dangerous?"

Axel groaned. "I wouldn't be able to see, nitwit."

"I'll sit on Riku's lap, and Roxas will sit on my lap."

"Come on, Sora," Riku growled, a sound that was obviously directed towards Axel. He grabbed Sora's arm and attempted to drag him away. Sora squirmed and tried to get out of his grasp. He managed to get Riku off, probably because Riku wasn't holding on hard enough and Sora was wearing a jacket. Sora wiggled the jacket off and ran back to Axel and me.

"We could all walk together," he suggested. He glanced from Axel to me, and I hope I gave him a dirty enough look to make him back off. I didn't. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Not really," Axel complained.

"It'll be funnnnn!"

It appeared like our attempts to ditch them weren't working.

Riku stood next to Sora, his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for Sora to give up. It didn't look like that would happen any time soon.

"…and we can find interesting things on the way and-"

"Sora," Riku interrupted.

"What?"

"I will drag you home."

"No, you won't."

"Yes, I will."

"No."

"Yes."

"Do you want me to?"

"No."

"If you don't want me to, then will you just come with me?"

"But I want them to come too!"

"You leave me no choice."

"No, Rik-"

Riku grabbed Sora's waist and threw him over his shoulder. They proceeded down the street, Riku walking calmly while Sora screamed and struggled.

"Riku, put me down! Riku! Let go!" Sora cried, kicking Riku's back multiple times.

We watched them until they disappeared. I was appalled, but I think Axel was amused.

"Are you coming to family night?" I finally asked.

"Of course. As long as they keep that up, I should be entertained all night long."


	18. Family Night

"Whoa."

"Damn, that's a lot of electricity."

Axel and I were standing in front of my house, staring at all the Christmas decorations that had magically appeared while I was at school. There was a full set of reindeer on the roof, complete with harnesses and Santa's red sleigh. Multi-colored lights were strung all over the trees, and the rock pathway was outlined with glowing red candy canes that stuck out of the ground. Fake icicles hung off the side of the house, and there was a huge wreath on the door. That wasn't all. There was a family of blown-up snowmen occupying the yard, and lights shone in every possible nook and cranny.

"Stop cursing," I said, still preoccupied with what use to look like a house.

"You know, for someone who chastises cussing as much as you do, you cuss a lot."

"What? Do not."

"When you're mad you do."

"That's different," I said, just to have a comeback of some sort.

"Oh, it is? So I'm allowed to say…"

He started listing any and all curse words that popped in his head; I wasn't really listening anymore. It had started snowing, and I felt the light snow settle onto my head and shoulders. I couldn't feel the cold radiating from it through my clothing. At least, not yet.

"Oh my gosh, snow!"

Riku stepped into the yard, and dumped an ecstatic Sora off his shoulder. Sora proceeded to twirl around as snowflakes drifted down, looking like some little girl. He got dizzy, and fell over onto Riku, giggling. Riku caught him, laughing as well. This lead to them kissing, which in turn lead to me averting my eyes awkwardly. I could usually deal with their couple-ish behavior (i.e. hugging, holding hands, kissing) because I was around it so often. It was a normal part of my day, however much I wanted to steer clear of it (it meaning them in general). For some reason, seeing them right now made me feel weird. Maybe it was because it was peculiar seeing Riku looking happy…but, no, he was a generally content, if an indifferent, person, as long as he wasn't looking at me or most of my friends. Maybe Sora was embarrassing me with his childish behavior? Or maybe it was because of how seriously they took their relationship? They were looking at each other with such intensity and compassion that I was shuffling my feet and digging around in the snow with the toes of my shoes. But they did that on a daily basis too. The only thing different about today was that Axel was there. That shouldn't make me uncomfortable, I thought, because Axel had noticed them for a split second, then went back to scanning the Christmas enthusiasm engulfing the house. It had been an off day, so maybe that was why.

The four of us walked onto the porch.

"I can't wait to see what the _inside_ looks like," Axel joked.

The inside was worse than the outside, if that was possible. It appeared that Kelly had spent the day transforming anything and everything she could find so that it looked like it came straight from a child's storybook. Tinsel and bells swallowed up the handrail that led to upstairs. I couldn't see past the shiny, plastic, glimmering material that it was made out of. In the living room were five stockings, and little statues occupied any free space on the bookshelf. They were of Jesus, I think, and tiny animals. There were even more lights strung around doorways, but I couldn't tear my eyes off of the tree. For one thing, it was massive; it looked cramped sitting in the corner by itself. It left me flabbergasted. Not because it went overboard. It was the _one_ thing that Kelly hadn't exaggerated. It was a Christmas tree, but it didn't scream "IT'S CHRISTMAS" like everything else did. There was nothing on the branches, no lights, no ornaments. It was, really, just an overgrown pine tree that was stuffed in the room.

"Wow!" Sora admired everything, his neck craning as he tried to take it all in. "Mom, this is amazing!"

Kelly appeared, smiling at the four of us as we looked around the room. She was wearing all red; a plain blouse, and a silky-looking, checkered skirt. It hurt my eyes, considering we were already swimming in red and green.

"Thank you, my Lalu," she coed. She made Lalu sound like laaaaaloooooooooo, and if I hadn't know better, I would have thought she was singing. But since I was well educated in the nature of Kelly, I knew it was one nickname out of an unlimited stash of them.

"Lalu?" Axel asked me, cynical. He turned towards her.

When Kelly saw him, her face broke out in a large grin. "Axel!" she exclaimed. She bounded over to him and shook his hand enthusiastically. Axel looked scared. She was as animated and bubbly as ever. That's probably what scared him.

"Uh, hi, ma'am," he glanced at me uncertainly.

"Don't call me ma'am! I'm Kelly!"

"Nice to meet you, Kelly," he said slowly.

"I've been dying to meet you! You don't know how grateful I am! I would kiss your hand or bow down to you but that would be….weird," she gave a nervous giggle. "I owe you so much!"

"You can start to repay me by letting go."

"Oh!" She dropped his hand quickly, looking flustered. "I'm so sorry!"

"No problem," he muttered.

"I was expecting you to be the most amazing person ever...and you live up to those expectations," she amended.

"And why were you expecting such a person?"

"Everything you've done for my son!"

"I think you're referring to someone else," Axel hesitated, his eyes traveling over to where Sora was examining a statue of a lamb.

"No, I'm talking about Roxas! For befriending him, and taking care of that bully, and for," she paused, "well, I could go on for quite awhile, as you can imagine."

"Uh-huh," he said dully.

"You're staying for dinner and family night, right?" She gasped. "I didn't know you were going to be here! We'll need a lot more food!"

"Er, it's ok—"

"No, no, no, no!" she exclaimed rapidly. "I'll take care of it. I'll make something extra special."

"Chocolate cake?" Sora asked hopefully, looking up as he put the lamb back.

"It is saved for occasions such as this one," she beamed.

Sora perked up. "And when are we going to decorate the tree?"

"Tonight or tomorrow. Promise, k? Let's see...I'll need shrimp, peppers, onions, pasta, eggplant, zucchini, bread, olive oil, oregano, chicken—"

"Mom, what if Axel's a vegetarian?"

Kelly pursed her lips. "Then I would have to substitute chicken for—"

"Why don't you just ask him?" Riku asked.

"Axel, are you a vegetarian?"

"Only on Fridays," he said.

"Is today Friday?" she cocked her head, confused.

"Yes, ma'am."

"We'll have none of that ma'am stuff!" she insisted.

"Are you a vegetarian or not?" Riku was obviously starting to get annoyed. I don't think he likes Axel much.

"That last time I checked, I'm not."

"So you can eat chicken?" Kelly verified.

"Yep."

"Great! Sora, can you come with me to the store?"

"Sure," Sora went over to her.

"And Roxas? Can you check on the rice pilaf? We'll be back soon! Make yourself at home," she smiled at Axel.

They disappeared, leaving me with Axel and Riku. Riku looked at Axel and me; he was either bored or irritated, I couldn't really tell. I guess it didn't matter, because he immediately went upstairs.

Axel followed me to the kitchen, where a variety of rice was browning in a wide skillet. I picked up the spatula sitting next to it, and began to shift through it.

"You're suppose to stir it constantly," I muttered. It was already burned to the bottom of the skillet, and I dug into it viciously with the edge of the spatula.

"That was kind of creepy," Axel noted, leaning against the counter.

"She's just as bad as Sora."

"They _are_ related," Axel pointed out.

"So Sora got his spastic behavior from her?"

"It would appear so."

"I thought she was going to start swooning over you."

"Shut up," he looked at me fiercely.

"Uh, sorry?"

"I'm just kidding," he smiled. "You musta told her some great things about me."

"That's what you think."

"Sooo, what'd you tell her?"

"She knows about Clyde, and god knows what Sora has told her."

"You didn't mention the fact that I am incredibly rich and famous?"

"Last time I checked," I shot him a look, "you were neither of those things."

"What about my charming personality?"

"Not a word. I have no idea why she was acting so nervously around you."

"It comes naturally to most people."

"I'm sure."

"Ok, first question of the day. Prepare yourself."

"Preparations complete," I said flatly. "And _now_ I'm allowed to ask questions?"

"No, this game will be one-sided."

"That's not fair."

"Life's not fair."

"Fine, I won't play."

"Roxas, geez, you can ask as many questions as you want."

"Good." I nodded curtly, indicating that he could ask his question.

"Who was your first crush?"

"Naminé."

"Isn't that—"

"Yeah. I had a crush on her for years, and I was too shy to say anything, then I finally did, but then I moved, and she broke up with me for no reason. There's my entire history of girls in one sentence."

"That was quite the story," he whistled.

"What would I not understand?"

"From what I myself understand, you do not understand Biological terms, words that start with 'y', and the meaning of life."

"Where did the meaning of life come from? And, Axel, answer the question."

"What's the context?"

"You very well know what the context is. You have a better memory than I do." He looked at me with mock confusion. "You said I wouldn't understand why you flunked Biology."

"No, it was why I slacked off in that class."

"See, you have better memory," I grumbled.

"I failed classes to push people away."

I gave him a questioning look, and he continued, "I went through foster parents like a fat person goes through candy bars." He chuckled. "I never lifted a finger in that class on purpose, whether I was consciously aware of it or not. Logically, it made no sense, but I behaved horribly so that I wouldn't get close to my parents, because they would just end up sending me back to the agency. I got really bad grades, and basically acted like I didn't care about anyone or anything. I hurt them before they could hurt me…" he paused, somewhat thoughtfully. "But at least with Xemnas, and everyone there, it was different. They understood all the crap I'd been through and...I don't know. I guess they were the first people that I felt like I could be myself around."

"How many foster parents have you had?"

"I dunno, lost count."

I stayed silent. What could I say? I found the whole thing awkward, even though it was apparent that Axel didn't mind at all. He was lightheartedly flicking grains of rice at me. Some had spilled over the side, which I hadn't noticed until now. One bounced off my arm, and Axel beamed as if he had scored the winning goal or something. I continued to focus on the pilaf, although I couldn't help but feel sorry for him, and I couldn't help thinking about how selfish I'd been. I mean, I probably spent eighty percent of my time moaning about how stupid my family is, and how obnoxious they are, and how difficult they are to live with, and how they have no manners to speak of. Axel listened to every word of it, and sympathized. Axel, the person whose dad died when he was six. My mom…Axel was _six_. And it doesn't seem like he has ever really had a family. Not really, unless you count his toddler years or Xemnas.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Axel voice shook me out of my thoughts.

"What?...oh, nothing."

"You've been quiet for a while now. Were you trying to figure out what infinity divided by two is? I spent all of yesterday thinking about that, and I came to the conclusion that it is three."

"Three?"

"Yes, three."

"Ok?"

"What, you don't believe me?"

"Never have, never will."

"Would you believe me if I said...hmm...an estimated one billion birds die each year in the U.S. from smashing into windows."

"Did you make that up?"

"No, Demyx told me that. He knows the randomest things, ever since his mom got him a book of pointless facts."

"Those poor birds."

"They must be pretty stupid to hit windows like that."

"No kidding."

"Ok, my turn," Axel rubbed his hands together. "What values do you consider the most important?"

"What are my choices?"

"Anything you can think of."

"Uhhh honesty, sincerity, loyalty. You?"

"Ditto."

"Oh, come on. I had to list all those words, and all you have to say is 'ditto'?"

"Ok, fine. I'll add some….adventure, familiarity, health, fun, kindness. Happy?"

"Si."

"You speak Spanish?" Axel asked, surprised.

"No, you idiot. Everyone knows si."

"Oh yeah?" he challenged. "Not everyone knows hirnlose trottel."

"What's that mean?"

"Brainless halfwit. And it's in German."

"You know Spanish _and _German?"

"No, that's the only German I know. I think some foster parent taught me...I think."

"Ok, how did you learn Spanish?"

"Like any language. You start with simple words like hello and work your way up."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh? It's not?"

"No."

"Fine. I picked up Spanish from my mother when I was young and somehow never forgot it."

"So she was Hispanic?"

"What do you think about yourself?"

I sighed. "I don't know. And you are very good at ignoring my questions."

"You mean, I win?" he grinned.

"No," I paused, my arm still stirring the rice. "I think that there's not much to think about."

"That's not what I meant."

"Ok," I groaned. "I think that I am like everyone else, and that there is nothing interesting I could say. What chore do you absolutely hate doing?"

"Nice topic change."

"Hey, it was my turn," I complained.

"That's what you say now…hmmm, I don't have many chores. Saix takes care of it. My dad use to make me take out the trash. I would avoid it for as long as possible, and he would keep asking. Eventually he would give up, and he's not the type to yell or use punishments, so he would start tying up the trash bag. I would yank it out of his hands, because if I let him do it, I'd feel guilty. I'd tell him that I was just about to get it, even though I had no intention of going within ten feet of the trash can. I don't know why I dreaded it so much; it's not like it's time consuming or anything. It was probably just me being lazy."

"Probably?"

"Yes, probably. Now, Roxie, back to what I was saying. What makes you a unique person?"

"I get this weird twitch whenever someone is talking. I'm pretty sure that's not normal."

He laughed. "Hey, do you want some help?"

I had been switching the spatula back and forth from my right hand to my left as my muscles would cramp up. "Nah, it's fine."

My dad appeared, seeming surprised at the sight of Axel. I'm assuming he had been in his study when we arrived home."Hello," he said, using a pleasant tone of voice. It wasn't as deep and gruff as usual, but it still made me want to vomit. It reminded me of when I was young; of riding on his shoulders, him teaching me to play darts, him letting me play with extra Play-Doh. Must not puke.

"I'm Oscar, Roxas's father." Axel stopped slouching to shake hands with him. It was formal and brisk, the opposite of Kelly's.

"I'm Axel."

"Do you want a drink?" my dad asked, pulling the refrigerator open. He grabbed a can of Coke, and cracked it open, the carbonation making it hiss.

"Sure. At least _someone_ around here has hospitality." Axel glanced at me, trying to gauge my reaction. I frowned, and he continued to grin.

My dad's laughter bellowed throughout the room. It made my brain bounce around in my skull, and I used the spatula to stab through the rice a little bit. It should be illegal to laugh like that. It's creepy. It scares children. It's so loud and overpowering, that it made you want to duck under the table, as if preparing for a nuclear bomb. Axel, somehow, didn't seem to mind.

"What do you want? We have Coke, different kinds of fruit juice, milk, some weird health drinks my wife keeps around…"

"Wife?" I mouthed angrily to myself. He might as well have stabbed me in the gut.

"Do they taste good?" Axel asked.

"Not at all, heh. I would offer you a beer, but my wife has been touchy about that lately."

"Why is that?"

"It's kind of a funny story, actually," he took a sip. "On Thanksgiving, Riku and I were drinking. You know Riku?"

"Yeah."

He nodded. "I didn't know he would get drunk. And I mean drunk. He was stumbling around everywhere, slurring his words together. The stuff that poured out of his mouth…" he smiled, amused. "Kelly—"

"Your wife?"

"Yeah. She never liked underage drinking to begin with, but when she saw Riku like that, she freaked out. Not to mention, the next day was hell, from what she told me. I wasn't there, lucky me, 'cause apparently Riku had the worst hangover of his life," he laughed. "She told him to stop drinking, to be a positive role model for her son, things like that."

"I bet he still drinks."

My dad paused for a second, taken aback by Axel's straightforward comment. Then he laughed even harder. "He certainly does. Roxas?" he addressed me, his voice slightly louder.

I tensed. "What?"

"You want a beer?"

"No," I spat.

"I don't know what's wrong with him," he said to Axel. "My own son never wants to drink with me."

"I don't know what's wrong with him either," Axel mused.

They were both teasing me. I ignored it, keeping my face stoic to show them that it didn't bother me in the slightest.

My dad just laughed again, and grabbed a glass from the cabinet. He busied himself with getting a drink for Axel, asking in passing, "Where's Kelly, anyway?"

"At the store," I said.

He nodded, pressed a cup in Axel's hands, and left.

"I always wondered what your dad was like," Axel said thoughtfully. "Since you never seem to talk about him."

He took a gulp, and abruptly sputtered, practically choking on the dark liquid. "He spiked it!" he exclaimed.

I smirked. "And you're surprised?"

"Well…" he tentatively sipped at it. "It's actually pretty good. Tastes like a very fruity Coke."

"Amazing," I rolled my eyes.

"Here, try it." He held the drink in front of me.

I pushed it away. "No."

"I can't drink it all," he persisted. "I have to drive home."

"I said no."

"Haven't you learned anything at school? When an upperclassmen offers you alcohol, you take it, and drink as much as possible. If you don't, you'll become a social reject. Everyone knows that."

"I don't want any."

"C'mon, it's good," he shoved it in my face again.

"No." I turned away.

"It tastes like cherries," he tried to tempt me.

"Why do you want me to drink it so bad?"

Axel stopped, and swirled the liquid around in the glass. "I don't know. Because it's the perfect blend of caffeine and alcohol?"

"Both of which are drugs."

"Ohh, that's why it tastes so good. Try a sip. Just a sip. A tiny, microscopic sip."

"For the last time, no."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"One sip isn't going to get you drunk."

"I know."

"Then..?"

"I'm…it has your germs."

"You're afraid of getting my germs?" Axel asked skeptically.

"Yes, you could be sick for all I know."

"I'm not sick. Now try it."

"No! I'm not going to drink the stupid thing."

"Are you really this against alcohol?"

"Yes. No. Sure, why not?" I said, frustrated.

"When did this happen?"

"You sound like a therapist."

"If you don't tell me why you don't want to drink it, I will force it down your throat."

I shook my head. "You say that like it's a good thing." He was about to protest, but I cut him off. "Ok, ok. Sheesh. My friend from Montana, Hayner, had a drinking problem. He would sometimes bring wine and stuff to my house, and I would dump it down the drain before anyone could find out. I made him quit, but that didn't, uh, really work. I just have really bad experiences with alcohol, ok? Like when Riku was attacking me."

"But _you_ don't have a drinking problem and _I_ don't have a drinking problem."

"So? Alcohol makes people act like idiots."

"Only if they drink enough."

"Seriously, what's the point of getting me to drink it?"

"It will be a cultural experience of sorts."

"I don't believe that."

"Just try it, Roxas."

I set the spatula down. "If I try it, will you stop bugging me?"

"Yes."

"Fine," I sighed, taking the glass from him. I took a small sip; it was fizzy and I swallowed it quickly, ignoring the bitter taste of whatever my dad had put in it. "That doesn't taste fruity," I winced, and gave it back to Axel.

"I think it does," he said, happily taking another swig.

Kelly and Sora burst into the room, carrying large, brown paper bags. They set them on the counter.

"Thank you for watching the rice," Kelly chimed. "Now, the both of you, shoo."

I shrugged passively, and left. Axel and I hung out in my room until Kelly called us down for dinner. Axel thought it was amazing that I had a TV and my own bathroom; I could care less about the TV, but at least the bathroom allowed me to stay in my room for long periods of time.

Dinner was uneventful. My dad told work stories, while Sora and Kelly added their own comments whenever humanely possible. They were all very nice to Axel, who mainly just sat there eating. When we were done, Kelly jumped up and cleaned the table off.

"Come on everyone," she grinned. She herded us into the living room and we sat around as she began the long, horrible process of family night. "Today we _were_ going to focus on listening skills. But today I have a special treat for you all!"

With a grand flourish, she held up a black VHS.

"What's this, dear?" my dad asked, voicing our confusion.

Instead of answering, she put it in her practically-antique VHS player and sat down, excited.

I was only slightly wary at this point, watching the static on the TV clear. It seemed to flicker for a moment, and then I saw a child, who was sitting at a table and banging a sippy cup. He was singing "Jingle Bells", his voice badly out of tune. He faded out, looking towards the camera and, I'm assuming, the person who was holding it waved. Frantic waving ensued.

"Are you going to be the next American Idol?" a woman asked.

"Yes! Yes!" the child screeched. "Jingle bells!"

I tensed. I knew that voice. The child had messy blonde hair, and was wearing blue overalls that stirred something in my memory….

"Can you sing a different song for Mommy?"

Oh god.

"OH, CHRISTMAS TREE! LALALALALALA JINGLE BELLS!"

This can't be happening.

Kelly beamed at me. My dad shot me an amused look. Sora cooed something about how cute I was, while Riku seemed to be fighting back laughter. Axel raised his eyebrow, asking me, "Is that you?"

I continued to stare at it incredulously as the screen shook, and then as my mom walked in front of it. She looked just how I remembered her, if a little younger. Her hair was pulled back, and a huge smile was plastered on her face as she squatted down next to me. "Are you excited for Christmas?" she asked.

"Yeah!" the child screamed.

"What did you ask Santa for?"

"I want a Gameboy!"

"Have you been good?"

The child glanced around, suspicious. "Yes, mommy," he chimed.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

She laughed, picking the child up.

I averted my eyes, unable to take it anymore. Now Axel had a gigantic grin on his face, and he kept peeking at me, waiting for a response of some sort.

"Where did you find this?" I managed to growl.

"Oh, I was looking through some stuff in the garage, and I thought it was too adorable not to show everyone!" Kelly giggled.

I didn't want to watch anymore, although I couldn't help but see it in the corner of my vision.

My mom was spinning me in my arms, her hair whipping around her as she laughed. The child, I mean I, was laughing gleefully. It created a lump in my throat that made breathing awkward, and I felt my face flush as everyone else stared at the TV, thoroughly amused.

"You're as cute as a button!" Sora sang.

"Yeah," Axel agreed.

I shot him a look, and he asked, "What? It's true. Look."

I allowed myself a second more of the dreadful home movie, and guess what? Now my dad was arriving home from work, giving my Play-Doh.

"Promise not to eat it this time, ok?" he laughed.

The four-year-old me yanked it away from him impatiently. "I promise!"

My dad then swept my mom up and kissed her gently.

"Ewwwww!" came my shriek.

Everyone started to laugh.

Something was wrong about this picture, I thought, looking over at all of them. No, everything about it was wrong. Kelly showing a home video of my mom? And while I have a friend over? She doesn't find that offensive in the slightest?

"Awwww!" Both Kelly and Sora swooned in response to the way I couldn't pronounce my "R"s. When I was younger, I mean. Oh, geez...

"Turn it off," I demanded.

"But you're so little!" Sora cried.

"Wait til you see the next one," Kelly said, eager, as they all remained glued to the screen, "he's wearing an Indian costume!"

Not that, I thought, please no. My mom made me dress up for Halloween, and it would've been fine if she hadn't ordered the wrong one. Although, at the time, I didn't realize that skirts are only for girls….

"I'm leaving," I announced, mortified.

"No, you're not," my dad said sternly, still watching.

I stood up. "Yes, I am."

"But, Roxas, baby boo, doesn't it bring back good memories? And this is so _sweet_," Kelly gave Sora a side hug. "It reminds me of when you were my cuddly-wuddly."

"That's because we're brothers!" Sora claimed. "So we look alike!"

"Yeah," Riku agreed, snickering.

I swooped down and pressed STOP. It froze, and I received puppy-dog eyes from Sora.

"Roxas!" my dad snapped.

I glanced away; Axel narrowed his eyes in concern as I cursed silently to myself. I should've kept quiet, should've just dealt with it—

"Oh, muffin!" Kelly cried, jumping up.

She's really breaking out the nicknames today, I thought just before she was attempting to crush the life out of me.

"It must be so hard for you to see your mom! I am so very sorry, I wasn't thinking, please forgive me!" she practically yelled into my ear.

"It's ok," I muttered.

"I ruined this night!" she pulled away from me dramatically, her eyes misty.

"You're intentions were good," my dad soothed.

Sora sniffed. "I didn't realize…."

And so Riku took to comforting him. The whole thing turned into a couple-fest, and I looked away uneasily.

Suddenly, Axel grabbed my arm. "Good night, thank you," he said swiftly to Kelly, attempting to sneak past them.

No go. Kelly soon was smothering him, and he let go of me, a surprised look on his face.

"Do you have to be home in time for curfew?" she practically pouted. "Because I did have some other activities lined up as well."

He nodded, glancing at me. I could tell by the way he was slouched over that he was more than ready to leave.

"Did you have a good time, Axel?" she asked, pulling away.

"Yes," he smirked.

"You're welcome here whenever."

Everyone shuffled towards the door.

"It was nice meeting you," my dad shook his hand again.

Axel nodded. "It's been…interesting."

"Come back soon!" Sora exclaimed.

"We'll let you two say good-bye," Kelly said.

I was confused until they all left me and Axel alone.

"Ok, then," I murmured to myself.

"Hey," Axel said softly. I looked up at him, surprised at how serious he sounded.

"What?"

"Come here."

I followed him outside, my heart going crazy. I told it to shut up as we faced each other on the porch. Why did this make me so anxious, my palms getting sweaty as I constantly shifted positions? I readjusted my weight to my left foot for the fourth time in the past second, swallowing. "What?" I repeated.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For pushing that drink on you. It was stupid, just forget it."

"It's fine," I shook my head, still confused.

"And I'm not going to be here Monday."

"Why not?" I paused at my forceful tone. "I mean...uhh..."

"I know this will be hard," he put his hand on my shoulder gravely, "but I know you can do it."

"Where are you going?"

"College-tour," he said happily. "Get to miss a whole day of school."

Oh. That's what he was happy about. "Can we hang out tomorrow?"

"Of course, Roxie. And, um…" he paused, our eyes locking.

I broke eye contact first, feeling oddly anxious. "Yeah?"

"Y'know," he shook his head, "never mind."

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing," he said innocently.

"No, really?"

He started down the stairs, leaving me there. He threw a "good night" over his shoulder before disappearing.

"Night," I muttered, dejected. I could already tell that Monday was going to be a bad day...

A/N: **Poll! (And you can tell I'm serious because it's in bold.) Like I have probably said before, I write A LOT and it's taking me a while to get to any Akuroku….I don't want anyone getting annoyed/impatient, etc, but the way I have it planned out….I mean, soonish...well, I don't want to give anything away. Should I speed things up or just keep the pacing the same? Ok, just leave a review on your opinion! Majority rules! :)  
**

~KeedaxEmry


	19. Classified

I know loads of pointless facts about Axel: he once shoved forty-eight grapes in his mouth, he breaks his car regularly, and he couldn't run if his life depended on it. I really didn't understand exactly why we kept playing Truth, other than a desire to win. It didn't seem like either of us were trying to win, though, because most of the questions were simple and to-the-point. Who cares if I told him about people I use to know? It didn't mean anything. When he happened to ask something that was meaningful, I would blow it off. He would noticed when I blatantly avoided answering a question, but he didn't notice when I lied. So I lied. And lied. I felt horrible whenever I did, but I couldn't help it. Everything about it was easier, and even when I tried to tell the truth, I couldn't. My body would seize up and my stomach would bubble up with acid. Then, almost on instinct, I would stretch the truth, and without pause, he'd believe me. He was too trusting, which only added to my guilt. I'd probably feel a tad better if he was lying straight back to me, but something told me otherwise; that he was honest, however difficult it was. It was impossible for me to do that, which is pretty pathetic. Dishonesty is my defense mechanism. And I hate it. Not that I have much say in the matter…

I stared down into the lumpy, gray stuff that filled my bowl to the brim. It was steaming oatmeal, another healthy choice forced on my by Kelly. My spoon was practically stuck in the concrete-like substance. I pulled on it, and it moved through my thick breakfast slowly. Oats and hot water, I thought. Yum.

Sora smiled at me from across the table. He had been running his mouth a mile a minute since I sat down, and now he paused, his mouth slightly open as if preparing to talk again. He was waiting for my response. I nodded as if I cared-or knew-about what he was saying. I'm going to have to stop daydreaming, I thought, if I want to pass my Geometry test today.

Sora continued to rant. The constant hum of his excited voice attempted to lull me to sleep. I had taken up the habit of using extra sleeping pills lately, because they've seemed to lost their effectiveness and I badly need the rest. Maybe my body is becoming immune to them, even thought it has only been what, three or four weeks since I started taking them.

"How's the oatmeal taste?" Kelly asked, bustling around the kitchen. Of all the things she could be doing, she was cleaning. She has _way_ too much time on her hands.

"It's good," Sora chimed. Good. From him, I'd expect: yummy, delicious, perfect, scrumptious, amazing. But not good.

I guess he said that because he didn't have much of an opinion about the matter. The second his mom's back was turned as she wiped down the stovetop, he dipped his spoon into the jar of honey. He added multiple spoonfuls of the golden, sticky liquid to his bowl and stirred it in. Kelly didn't notice. If she had noticed, she probably would have freaked out. I swear, she thinks sugar is an illegal drug.

Sora sheepishly mouthed, "You won't tell, will you?"

I shook my head, and he pealed on about guardian angels, or something to that effect.

I cautiously nipped at my oatmeal-caked spoon. It slithered down my throat, grimy, starchy, and somehow dry. It's swimming in water, I thought. How can it be dry?

Kelly turned towards us just as Sora was tipping a honey-filled bite into his mouth. He quickly shoved it all in, a guilty look on his face.

"Sora?" Kelly inquired, curious. "Is something wrong?"

Sora's cheeks were puffed out with the amount of food he had taken. "Uh-uh."

She stepped up closer to him. "What's in your mouth?"

He shook his head.

"Sora," she warned.

He made a choking, whiny-like noise and swallowed. "What, mom?" he asked.

"What did you eat?"

"Nothing," he sniffed.

"Don't make me ask again."

"Honey," he muttered, barely audible.

"Did you put it in your oatmeal?"

He nodded weakly.

"Now I'm going to have to make a whole new bowl," she sighed.

"I'm sorry, mom."

"It's ok," she hugged his dejected form, "but you know that eating nutritiously helps you to lead a healthy lifestyle."

She picked up his bowl and dumped it out. I wish she'd do that to mine. "Here, Sora," I said, pushing my oatmeal towards him.

"No, it's yours!" he exclaimed, sounding like a three-year-old trying to prove that he knows how to share.

"I don't want it." I stood up, my legs muscles stretching out comfortably.

"Roxas, breakfast is the most important meal of the day," Kelly said, discouraged.

"I don't want it," I repeated. "I'll just pick something up on the way to school."

I was about to leave the room, when I paused, realizing something. I groaned inwardly.

Sora voiced my dread. "I thought you were getting a ride with us today."

"Yeah, because Axel's visiting a college today with the rest of the juniors and seniors," Kelly finished.

"I forgot," I muttered. I left the room anyway. I didn't want the oatmeal to become a sludge monster and devoir me whole.

I put on my shoes, grabbed my backpack from my room, and went downstairs to wait.

I leaned against the front door impatiently.

"Are you sure you don't want the rest of this?" Kelly called.

"I'm sure," I yelled back.

"Do you want me to wrap it up for later?"

"Don't bother."

"Do you want me to pack you an apple for later?"

"Nope."

Ten minutes later, Kelly and Sora approached me, finally ready to leave.

"Where's dad?" Sora asked.

I winced; Kelly replied, "He's at work, you silly goose."

Did he have to ask that every day?

"Speaking of which," Kelly blinked, "where's Riku?"

"Oh. He's at that college thing, too."

"They had to leave early for that," she noted. "Roxas, are you going to be warm enough?"

I looked down at the thin jacket I had thrown on. "Yep."

"Are you sure?"

She was wearing a puffy, black winter jacket that had white, fur lining; she also had on mittens, girly snow boots, a fuzzy scarf, and a wool hat. I was oh-so-tempted to ask "are you sure you're not gonna melt?" Instead, I said, "Uh-huh."

"Do you want me to go get you a hat?"

"No."

"Do you want me to go get you another jacket?"

"No."

This continued for a while, with various clothing items, until I barked out, "No! Can we leave already?"

She probably wanted me to look like Sora, who was dressed like a giant marshmallow. Not going to happen.

She gave up; a quick, uneventful trip and she dropped us off at school.

"Bye, have a good day, I love you!" she called before driving away.

Shoot me now, I thought, mortified as some guys nearby chuckled and mocked.

I strode to my locker as quickly as possible. The bell was going to ring soon, marking me tardy.

I trudged through my morning classes, and eventually found myself sitting at our lunch table. Today, however, Axel, Larxene, and Xion were gone; in their place was Demyx, Zexion, and, for some unfathomable reason, Sora.

"Shouldn't you be at that college?" I asked Demyx, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"It sounded so boring," he grinned.

"Sora, what are you doing here?" I asked next. He was chugging a carton of strawberry-flavored milk. So much for keeping him off the sugar.

He set the drink down, and wiped his mouth off. "Riku's not here, and we usually study in the library during lunch, so I decided to sit with you guys," he said.

"Study?" For some reason I doubted that.

"Yep."

"Is Xion still sick?" Demyx asked, confused.

"I don't know," Zexion muttered. "I've barely seen her since…"

"Oh, well. It's not like she'd say anything if she was here."

"Do you think she's ok?" Sora seemed to be the only one who was worried.

"She's probably dying of an incurable illness."

"What?" Sora's eyes widened.

"Or maybe she went blind and can't find her way out of her room."

"Shouldn't you check?" Sora gasped, honestly worried.

"I don't live there. It's not my problem."

"Zexion?"

"I don't want to disturb her. She's been locked up in her room this entire time," Zexion said. I just noticed that, for once, he wasn't engrossed in a book. It looked really weird, like we was missing an arm or something.

Sora sighed sympathetically. "Something must be wrong."

"Why are we talking about Xion?" Demyx complained.

"That's rude," Zexion criticized.

"No, it's not," he said. "She never talked to us. She was practically terrified to breathe whenever anyone looked at her. She never tried to become friends with us, and she made Axel hate me. So why are we talking about her?"

"Axel doesn't hate you."

"Yes, he does."

"Prove it."

"How do I prove it?"

"I don't know, figure it out for yourself."

"Why would Axel hate you?" I cut into their argument. "You two have been friends forever."

Zexion and Demyx looked at me. "Well, about that," Demyx laughed nervously.

"Huh?" I was confused. I glanced at Sora, expecting to see the same amount of confusion, if not more. He looked the same as ever, popping a grape into his mouth happily.

"Aren't you talking about how—" Sora broke off, yelping. He paused, then hurriedly said, "Never mind."

"I don't blame you for the stupid prank," I said. "I blame Sora and Xion."

"I'm sorry!" Sora exclaimed.

I nodded to him briefly. "It's ok. So why would Axel hate you?"

"He blames me for a lot of things," Demyx snuck a glance at Zexion.

"For the last time, he's forgiven you," Zexion said.

"But he acts—"

"What do you expect, Demyx? That he's going to come running with a bouquet of flowers, all ready to forget everything? Now give it a rest." Zexion crossed his arms over his chest, annoyed.

"Uhhh," Demyx moaned. "Ok, whatever."

"Are you still going to have that bonfire?" Sora asked.

"Yeah, probably this weekend."

"Is that all, Sora?" Zexion frowned.

"What do you mean?...I have plenty of other things to talk about. Like, last night—"

"_Is that all, Sora?_" Zexion overemphasized each syllable.

"Umm….oh," he said, disappointed. "I have to go retake a test. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye, Sora," Demyx gave a small wave, probably feeling sorry for him.

Sora left. He didn't look too happy.

"Have you ever messed around with a Ouija board?" I asked, picking at my food.

"That was random," Demyx muttered.

"Yeah, I was just daydreaming about it for some reason."

"Is there a ghost in your house?"

"No."

"Last week, I kept hearing footsteps and I knew that no one was home," Demyx said, giving a large excited gesture with his hands. "I got a baseball bat out and—"

"How is that suppose to help if it's a ghost?"

"I don't know! It was creeping me out, so—"

"Demyx," Zexion stated flatly.

"Not now, I'm telling a story. Anyway—"

Zexion cleared his throat, annoyed.

"Ok, ok," Demyx groaned. "What is up with you today?"

"Nothing," Zexion glowered.

"Nothing. Really? It doesn't seem like nothing!"

"Calm down, Demyx."

If I was Demyx, I would have backed down. Zexion was staring at him icily; his eyes were daggers and they were full of disdain. Demyx, however, couldn't shut his mouth. "How can I calm—"

"The bell is going to ring soon."

Demyx sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Anyway, Roxas."

"What?" I asked.

"You're going to the bonfire, right?"

"Sure," I shrugged indifferently.

"There's a catch."

"A catch? Why is there always a catch?"

"Because he's Demyx," Zexion growled.

Demyx shot him a look before continuing. "You have to bring a date."

"Why? It's not Valentine's Day or anything."

"Because it's funer this way."

"Funer isn't a word," Zexion muttered, just loud enough for us to hear.

"Will you stop it?" Demyx cried, his voice rising in volume. "What'd I do this time?"

"Why don't you both stop it?" I sighed. Don't get me wrong, watching them fight was entertaining and all, but I was starting to get a headache. And this wasn't like them at all, they always seemed to get along fine.

Demyx turned his chair towards me as if Zexion wasn't there at all. "So, who are you going to bring?"

"No one."

"This would be easier if you just told him," Zexion said.

"You stay out of this," Demyx snapped. "Roxas, you—"

The bell interrupted him. Zexion shot him a look that said "I told you so" and Demyx glared right back at him. "We'll finish this later, ok?" he said to me. They both left in a huff, leaving me sitting there with all their trays, confused out of my mind.

After school, I found Demyx flirting with some girl near my locker. I didn't recognize the girl; she had a cheerful aura around her. Her face was on the plump side, and her glossy, brown bangs was pinned to the side with a single bobby pin.

"Hey," Demyx greeted me. "This is Jessica. Jessica, this is Roxas."

We nodded towards each other.

"You can't come to the bonfire if you don't have a date," he continued.

"He has so many rules to his parties, doesn't he?" Jessica smiled warmly. "It almost makes it not worth it."

"No kidding," I grumbled.

"Watch it, you," he shoved her playfully. "You know my parties are worth it. Who are you going to bring?" he added to me.

"How should I know?"

"You're going to figure it out soon."

"Do I absolutely have to bring someone?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm not going."

"Roxas, you _have_ to go," he whined.

"Yeah," Jessica chimed, "it's going to be a lot of fun, I'm sure."

"And there has to be someone you want to take."

"Um, no," I said.

"Maybe someone who isn't here?"

"Maybe someone who is," Jessica said, just as suggestively.

"You're about as helpful as Zexion," Demyx griped.

"Thank you!" Her smile widened and Demyx shook his head, although he was beaming right alongside her.

"I don't follow," I said.

"You've met tons of amazing people here," he gestured around the hallway. "Just pick one of them. Or a few of them."

Jessica laughed; I said, "I don't think it's that easy, Demyx."

"Sure it is."

"I have to get home." I could see this was getting nowhere.

I attempted to scoot around them, but Demyx intercepted me with a, "Nooooo, Roxas!"

"What?" I asked, getting more annoyed by the second.

"I won't let you leave until you give me the name of who you're bringing. It's in the process of RSVP…ing."

"You didn't even tell me when it is."

"It's this Saturday, December twelfth. Around sixish, or so. In my backyard, of course, and it'll end whenever, I guess. All you have to bring is a date."

"I'm busy."

He still wouldn't let me leave. "No, you're not," he accused. "Just give me the name of the person you are taking."

"I'm bringing _no one_."

"He might want to hook up with someone there," Jessica suggested.

"Why has this suddenly become important?" I asked, peeved.

"Are you and your brothers really religious?" She leaned closer to me, inquisitive.

"No," I said slowly. "Why?"

"I don't think I've seen any of you date."

"Oh, that's because—"

"Roxas, pick someone," Demyx demanded.

"Why?"

"Because."

"You're making no sense."

"Don't you like _anyone_?"

"No."

"Even a tiny bit?"

"No."

"Even a tiny, tiny bit?"

"No."

"Are you being shy?" he poked my stomach.

I stepped back. "No," I snapped.

"Does anyone like you? You could humor them."

"Not that I know of."

"There has to be _someone_."

"Who do you want me to go with?" I said, exasperated.

"That's classified information."

"Either say it or let me leave."

"Ok, someone wants to go with you."

"Hint, hint," Jessica winked.

"But I don't even know you!" I exclaimed to her, aghast.

"It's not her," Demyx said. He turned to her. "Why are you here, Jess?"

"Because you required my assistances," she patted his arm with a solemn look on her face.

"Anyway, it's not Jess," he said, turning away from her.

"But it could be," she giggled.

"Can I take someone as a friend?" I asked.

"No," Demyx outright refused.

"Who's all going to this party?"

"Me, Jess, everyone at Xemmy's house, a few people from each class, Sora, Riku, and you."

"I'll just go with one of those people. Can I leave now?"

"Which one?"

"I don't know!"

"Think!"

"Think? What is there to think about? Why do people always do this to me?"

"It's ok, I don't know what he's talking about either," Jessica laughed quietly.

"C'mon, Roxas. Who do you _want_ to go with?"

"As a date or as a friend?"

"Date."

"No one!"

"God, you're being unreasonable!"

"What, you're the one who made up this stupid rule!"

Demyx grumbled something angrily under his breath. I caught: "...kill...think..."

"Ok, who do you want to take as a friend?" he continued.

"I don't know," I said. "All my friends are pretty much going."

Demyx seemed to be fighting with himself. "I'll be right back," he said quickly. Zexion wanted to talk to him, apparently, because he was beckoning him from across the hallway, a frown etched into his features, and they disappeared into the gym to do so.

"It can't be that hard to choose someone," Jessica said.

I shrugged. "How do you know Demyx?"

"We had piano lessons together in middle school. He hated it."

"I took piano."

"Really?" she asked, actually seeming interested.

"Yeah, I have a piano at my house, but I haven't been playing it lately."

"How come?"

"I've—"

Demyx ran up to us, skidding to a stop, breathless. "Did you decide?"

"No," I said.

"Then you're going with Jess. I have to go."

He ran off.

"Ok, that was...odd." I paused before saying "odd" because of the way Jessica was smiling at me.

"Looks like he choose for you," she half laughed.

"I guess so," I said carefully. I shifted my backpack further onto my shoulders, feeling awkward. Why would Demyx force me on his friend? What was the point? The whole day was confusing, I thought.

Jessica looked at me expectantly. No offense, but I really didn't want to go to the bonfire with her. First off, I just met her a few minutes ago, and Demyx is kidding himself is he thinks he can force us together. Second off, I was planning to go to this stupid thing because Axel wanted me to. He would end up dragging me there anyway, so what was the point in resisting? Now, though, there were countless reasons: I still hate social events, it's going to be freezing outside, people I don't like will be there, namely Larxene, and Demyx will spend his time confusing me. Not to mention the main reason, which was standing in front of me, applying lip gloss.

"I don't like Demyx, if you were worrying about that. He likes to make people jealous," she said. She was clearly referring to them flirting.

"Oh, right," I muttered lamely.

"If it makes you feel better, he dragged me into this too. Dating hasn't really gone too well for me. My last boyfriend dumped me so that he could date my best friend," she said matter-of-factly.

"That sucks."

"I know it. Between you and me," she stepped closer and lowered her voice, "we can look at this as a friendship thing. If that's what you want, of course."

"Oh, ok," I said relieved. "Thanks."

"No problem," she slid away from me, beaming. "I'll see you then!"

She ran off happily.

XxXxX

I arrived home right at four o' clock. I wasn't sure if Kelly was picking me up or not, so I took it upon myself to walk home, despite the heavy textbooks jostling around in my backpack.

It was weird to be home this early. It felt un-natural to see the stretched out shadows across the floor as the sun settled in the west. Not to mention how peaceful and serene it seemed...which was caused by the silence. The kind of silence that fills your ears, and amplifies any noise you make. I could hear my breath, and I could hear my shoes scuffing the floor. I felt that, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to hear the blood rushing through my veins. That's exactly it: it was entirely too quiet. The TV was silent, there were no footsteps, there was no water running. I couldn't hear Kelly's high-pitched tones, or my dad's low-pitched ones. Sora wasn't rushing around; Riku wasn't trying to keep up with him. There wasn't even a whisper of my dad's keyboard, which was constantly clicking whenever he was doing work at home.

I dumped my backpack on the floor and searched for them suspiciously.

There was a note, on the counter filled with Kelly's flourished, curvy writing.

Dear Sora and Riku and Roxas,

I hope you all had a great day! Sorry to leave at such short notice. Your father had a meeting in Washington D.C. and I decided that I would attend to keep him company. There are leftovers in the fridge you can eat—Roxas, I wrapped up that oatmeal and put it on the bottom shelf for you. We should be back by the time you get home from school tomorrow. Is there any chance you can get rides to-and-from school tomorrow, since I won't be around? Maybe Axel can? I don't want you guys to walk and catch a bug. This is flu season! Again, sorry for how abrupt this was. I don't have much time to write—we're running late—but:

-Please stay home for the night

-Do your homework, etc

-CALL ME

(323)-642-3472

You should all have my number, but I put it just in case. So please please call me when you're done reading this.

Oh and Riku's in charge. Sora and Roxas, listen to him. Riku, I'm trusting you here. And Oscar'll know if you drink a drop of his beer. Oh, dear, I didn't mean to make that sound threatening. I'm sorry. Just behave yourselves, ok? I'm sure you're all old enough to handle this.

Sorry for how short this is. Again—running late. I'll see you all tomorrow!

I love you!

XOXOKellyXOXO

Short. Yeah, right, I thought sarcastically. For a brief moment I wondered where Sora and Riku were, and then I crumpled the note and was about to toss it in the trash can when a pang of guilt hit me. She wanted me to call her, I thought, staring at her girly handwriting. I had no intention of doing so, but a memory of my mom hit me suddenly; whenever I forgot to call her, she would get so worried...

I dialed the number. The conversation itself was short, with her bubblyness seeping from my phone. I made a quick excuse about homework, which actually was true, and she hung up after saying good-bye a million times. Then I grabbed a bag of Cheetos. Sora had somehow managed to convince his mom that they were healthy. Don't ask me how.

I sat in front of the TV, watching House while trying to focus on my Geometry homework. It was more than likely that I had failed the test, which might explain why the teacher had given me an extra review worksheet.

Properties of polygons, I read. Problem one: use the following coordinates to identify the shape.

I grabbed a few Cheetos, eating them as I tried to think of how to set up the problem. I licked the orange powder off my fingers, my mind pulling a complete blank. A polygon is a shape with four sides, right? So, to figure it out, you...

"Umm..." I tapped my pencil against my notebook, suddenly feeling uneasy by how quiet it was. I turned up the TV.

I bent down over the paper and scribbled a few numbers down, not entirely sure what I was doing. Ten minutes later, and all I had to show for it was an empty bag of Cheetos, a slight headache, and a few random doodles. I was about to give up and put everything away when the doorbell rang. I shoved my stuff aside, and got up, a little too happy at the distraction.

Standing on the porch was a man and a woman.

"Good evening," the man said. "Is your father home?"

"No," I said. "He's at a meeting."

"Can we come in?"

I felt like the same scene was replaying, only that this time the setting was different and the characters were stitched up to look whole again. It made me feel queasy, but I let them in, prepared for the worst.

This time, they settled on the couch, perched there like a pair of professional-looking birds. I, rather shakily, sat on the recliner. The woman had a mirror out in an instant; she checked her lipstick swiftly, her finger outlining her mouth to get rid of any smearing. She shoved it back in her handbag, and looked up coolly. They both surveyed me seriously, which only added to my bundle of nerves. They looked likes spies, for crying out loud.

"Roxas Peyton, we're performing a check-up. I believe that all your records have been transferred from Montana. Is that correct, Carolyn?" the man said.

"James, you're going to give him a panic-attack if you keep talking like that," Carolyn said disapprovingly. "So, are you liking the city?" She smiled at me brightly, starting to look less like a spy and more like a normal person.

"It's fine, I guess," I managed.

"Good. I've never liked the city much myself, but work is work."

James turned towards her. "Shouldn't you be taking this more seriously?"

"Oh, lighten up."

"We have to hurry this up, if you want to get to the wedding planner in time."

"We're getting married," she wiggled her fingers towards me, showing off her engagement ring.

"Do you have to say that to everyone we meet?"

"Yes. Ok, Roxas, we're going to ask you some questions. Only answer if you feel comfortable."

"And I believe you've been asked these questions before."

"Has your father ever harmed you intentionally?"

"No," I said.

"Has he ever touched you inappropriately?" James asked.

"No."

"Has his words or actions ever made you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Basically, have there been any changes at all? Anything that would led you to believe that he was abusive towards your mother?"

"No."

As swiftly as they appeared, they prepared to leave.

"Don't worry," Carolyn said as they stood up. "There is no proof that your father has done anything wrong and—"

"It's been inconclusive," James said.

She nodded. "The case is going to drop soon. There's no evidence and your mother could have gotten those bruises the old-fashion way," she winked. "By acting as klutzy as I do."

"Ok," I muttered.

"I work at social services; my office is right on Cedar Street," she handed me a card. "Feel free to stop by if you ever feel like talking, or if something's bothering you. I promise I won't bite. Oh, and don't let the fancy titles scare you, you can call me Carolyn. Good night."

"Good night."

They vanished. The sky was darkening further as I shut the door softly, looking at the small business card. It looked overly cheerful with its brilliant, yellow color that reminded me of yoke and sunshine.

I shoved it in my backpack so that I wouldn't have to look at it. Thanks, but no thanks, I thought. I prefer to stay in my web of lies.


	20. Only Joking

Loud music that made my head pound. A dark room crowded with people dancing. The smell of sweat and too much perfume. I was assuming this was still Demyx's living room, but it sure didn't look like it anymore. It was teeming with teenagers dancing. I couldn't hear past the blaring tone of the bass in whatever techno song was playing, and what's worse is that the floor shook slight each time it went off. The multicolored lights that swung around the room blinded me, and my head decided to complain within seconds, pulsating and throbbing agonizingly.

"Oh god," I shielded my eyes from the lights. "Get me out of here."

Axel inclined his head towards me. "What?" he yelled over the noise.

I shook my head. I could barely see him until someone moved past us. My view of Axel vanished and I had a brief moment of panic. People were too close, and they kept bumping into me. I could no longer move, because there was a living wall around me. The room was entirely too hot, blistering really, and I wasn't even dancing. And I didn't know where Axel went.

I tried to push past them, past clammy shoulders and waving arms. I managed to squeeze through after receiving several dirty looks.

I kept shoving until I escaped out into the hall, where I found Jessica. She was talking on a cell phone, but she noticed me and smiled, mouthing "one second." She hung up fairly quickly, tucking her phone away in her pocket neatly.

"Hi Roxas. Wasn't this party worth it?"

"Uh," I paused, unsure of whether she was serious or joking. "Not really."

"I think it's a blast."

"Why'd you ditch me?"

"A girl can tell when she isn't wanted."

I gave a nervous chuckle, learning against the wall to hide my confusion. "So, um…"

"You should get out there and dance. I love this song."

I didn't recognize the music wafting towards us, but I wasn't about to let her know that. "Do you want to dance?" I offered uncertainly.

"It's ok," she dismissed the idea. "I was kidding. Friends, 'member? But you should still enjoy yourself and dance. That's what parties are for."

"Me and dancing clash," I said flatly. "End of story. Have you seen Axel?"

"Axel?...Axel..." she pondered. "Who's that?"

"Quit messing around."

"Sooooooorry," she sang. "He's probably raiding the kitchen. Did he ditch you too?"

"I guess so."

"I bet he loves to dance."

"How'd you get here?" Axel walked up to us from the end of the hallway. He was slouched over with his hands shoved in his pockets, an obvious sign that he was bored out of his mind.

"Speak of the devil," Jessica immediately giggled.

"I could ask you the same thing," I challenged.

"I thought you were following me. Demyx has a pool table and I figured that you might find that more enjoyable than anything in there." He nodded towards the living room.

"Not you too!" Jessica exclaimed. "Didn't you come to dance?"

Axel blinked at her. "Not in particular."

"You guys are no fun," she pouted. "Roxas, you at least-"

"There's no way you're making me dance," I said.

"I don't see _you_ out there," Axel added to her.

"For your information, I was talking to the kid I babysit," she said.

"Why?"

"She was telling me about her new hamster," she said happily.

"Shouldn't she be in bed?"

"Should be, but she got into her parents coffee again."

"Coffee sounds good about now."

"Yuck. That stuff is disgusting."

Axel smirked as she stuck out her tongue."That's why you put creamer in it."

"Yes, I suppose," she yawned. "I'm getting tired and the party just started."

"How can you be tired? It's only…" he trailed off, checking his pockets. "Roxas, what time is it? I seem to have left my phone at home."

"It's ten," I supplied.

"Which is way past my bedtime," Jessica said.

"Even on the weekend?" Axel asked. "And I know for a fact that Larxene will never let us leave this early."

"Yes. You need plenty of rest, even if you don't have school."

"How Demyx became friends with someone so virtuous is beyond me," Axel shook his head.

"Where's Larxene, anyway?"

"She's with Josh, I'm sure."

"Puleston?"

"Yeah. They're probably making out by now."

Jessica cleared her throat. "I'll sing Poker Face with her later."

"Roxas," Axel turned towards me. "I almost forgot. I have to show you something amazing."

"Is it as amazing as the land of elves?" I snorted.

"No, it's even better. C'mon."

He attempted to lead me away, but Jessica stopped him with a, "What if I can't find you later? You're my ride home."

"I'm sure you'll be able to find me," he reassured, "since I won't be lost in a sea of people."

"Wait!" she called. We looked back at her from where we were standing near the kitchen entryway. This entire time, we'd been forced to scoot closer to the wall to allow traffic to pass and our current position made this more difficult. I pressed my back against the wall as a group of people walked by, clutching refreshments and talking cheerfully.

"What?" Axel asked impatiently.

"I feel like…I'm forgetting something," she said thoughtfully. The music slid smoothly into a new song, making me think that I had completely missed the fact that there was an actual DJ here. The song was evidently very popular, because there was a burst of cheering and enthusiastic yelling from the other room. "I _have_ to dance to this song!" she exclaimed. She was going to run off, but then she paused. "Please, dance, you two!" We stared at her, unmoving. She gave us a determined grimace. "I will drag you out there."

"The song's going to end before you get there," Axel said.

"You're missing out," she said before departing.

"Finally," Axel groaned.

I followed him through the kitchen where a bunch of jocks were gathered around a keg, chanting, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" Others were rummaging through the cabinets for food, or lounging around with their friends. I winced as the noise increased in volume, but luckily, Axel went upstairs and the voices faded some.

Axel yanked a door open. The room had a large bed covered with a blue comforter. There was a pile of clothes in the corner, and an electric guitar hooked to an amp leaned against the far wall.

"Isn't this…" I muttered.

"Demyx's room? Yeah," Axel grinned.

"Are we suppose to be in here?" I asked, uneasy. "Demyx might get mad-"

"Yeah, right," Axel rolled his eyes. "I can get him to do whatever I want."

"Sooo, what did you want to show me?"

I had my back turned to him, because I was examining Demyx's guitar, so I didn't see him sneak up behind me. I did hear the floor creak slightly, however, which caused me to turn.

I wasn't nearly fast enough to protect myself. I saw a flash of that Cheshire smile before he grabbed me under my arms and chucked me towards the bed. I fell for a second, gasping in surprise until I landed. I bounced a few times, the bed moving like a chunk of jell-o. It's a water bed, I realized. It was like bobbing on the ocean.

"I wish I had one of these," I commented, my flash of annoyance vanishing as I used my pointed finger to press into the squishyness of it.

"They're nice, huh?" I heard Axel say. "Although you have to make sure it doesn't pop."

I sat up, seeing Axel slumped against the wall near the door, a melancholy look on his face. "Uh, what's wrong?" I asked timidly.

"What?" He looked up, his eyes lost in thought. "Oh, nothing. I just don't like parties much."

"Me neither," I agreed. "If you didn't want to come, why did you? And how did I get dragged into this?"

"No idea, Roxie," he sighed.

"You've been acting weird," I said, trying to be casual. I will get him to talk, I thought to myself, as determined as ever.

"Weird how?"

"I don't know. You…" I stopped, at a loss for words. I shouldn't be talking, I thought, since I'm the one who cries randomly and avoids telling anyone anything.

"That's real helpful."

"Sorry," I said. "It's none of my business."

Axel muttered something darkly, then raised his voice to say, "If you want someone to tell you something, you have to keep pestering them until they do."

"Ok then. What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?" I said rapidly.

"Like I said, I don't like parties."

"You're advice really works."

"Indeed it does. We'll have to endure this until Larxene gets her fill. I'm warning you, it could take a while," he said, changing the subject.

"It's not like I have anything to do at home," I pointed out.

"All that happens at my place is everyone holes up in their rooms, or they try extremely hard to bug the hell out of me."

"And then you sneak out."

"Yep."

"And walk alone in the middle of the night," I stated.

"Yep."

"Alone," I emphasized.

"Are you worried about me? How sweet," he teased.

"Shut up. I was just going to say that your neighbor might think you're a deer. You could get shot, or something."

"Oh, well. It's worth it."

"Worth dying for?"

"It's not going to kill me. You should try it sometime, it's freakin relaxing."

"That's why I take sleeping pills then blast music." I slide to the side of the bed, letting my legs dangle off the side. I had suddenly become self-conscious of my shoes which were, up to this point, wet and digging into Demyx's blankets.

"You fall asleep to music?" Axel's voice brought me back from my thoughts on whether or not Demyx was going to notice his disheveled bed.

"A lot of the time, yeah. It seems like someone is always up. Either it's Sora laughing, or Kelly with one of her projects, or Riku studying, or my dad watching a game. I can't stand it."

"How is studying loud, exactly?"

"Late at night, I'll hear him saying these scientific words, while Sora's trying to distract him. I mean, what's a pericardium?"

"I think that has something to do with the heart. He can't do that every night," he reasoned.

"I guess not."

"You haven't been sleeping much lately, have you?"

I peeked over at him; a lot of the time I avoid looking at him directly because I was...afraid of what I'd see, I guess. Most of the time his face is open and happy, although sometimes I catch a quick glint of suspicion that will cross over his face. And, of course, I hate to see him getting worried over nothing or scrutinizing me with X-Ray like eyes.

At the moment, he was looking down into his lap, his legs folded neatly underneath him. Somehow, it made him look small and insignificant. He was frowning, and now he seemed worried as well as sad. My guilt prevented me from shrugging his question away.

"How could you tell?" I finally sighed.

"When you're tired, you do this thing where you blink really slowly, then force your eyes back open. It's quite funny."

"Thanks, Axel."

"No problem," he grinned, looking up at me. I couldn't quite tell if he was actually happy or not. "But maybe you should get a new prescription or something," he added seriously.

I made a neutral sound in the back of my throat that could mean anything.

"Did you even tell anyone that they haven't been working?"

"Hmmm," I hummed. "Possibly."

"Roxas," he prodded.

"What?"

"_Roxas_."

"Ok, I haven't mentioned it yet," I admitted, now looking in the direction of the wall.

"I'm sure your dad or Kelly would be happy to-"

"My dad's busy working and Kelly is going through another one of her stages."

"Stages? You make her sound like a misbehaving toddler."

I gave a bitter laugh. "That's what she is, practically. She's taken up crocheting, which is quieter then when she was trying to learn how to play the clarinet," I shuddered, thinking back to when she was squawking and squeaking on that thing every night. "But still. It'll last a week, tops."

"I'm sure she'll stop long enough to-"

"No, she won't."

"Stop interrupting me, sheesh," he complained. "And you know she would do anything for you."

"Right."

"You just don't want to accept her help because she's your stepmother," he accused. Well, it didn't sound like he was trying to blame me, since his voice stayed the same, but I still took it accordingly.

"She is not," I barked. The mental image of a stray dog raising its hackles in defense popped in my head; I shoved it away.

"I got the invitation, y'know," he said quietly.

Of course you did, I thought wryly. "Well, she's still not my mom."

"O'course she's not. She never will be, either."

"She," I said, trying to think of a comeback. "She has no idea what she's doing."

"From what I've seen, she is trying very hard to please you."

"It's working really well, isn't it?"

"You're going to have to deal with the fact that she's marrying your dad."

"I know," I gave in, deflated. I had known about it for a while, but I had furiously refused to acknowledge it. Both my dad and Kelly were ecstatic, and it made me sick.

"Back to what I was saying. You need to sleep."

"Ok, ok. I'll tell them," I said quickly. "Happy?"

"No. You don't mean it."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know," he shot me a fierce look. "Just do it, ok? Unless you _like_ falling asleep in class?"

"I never really fell asleep, for your information."

"Your eyes were closed, your head was down, and Mr. Frijol was saying "Mr. Peyton? Are you alright?"," he mimicked.

"That doesn't mean I was asleep."

"How about the fact that you were snoring?"

"I was not."

"Were too."

I found myself smiling despite my attempts to give him a nasty look; he merely smiled back, and I could tell that he wasn't faking it this time.

"Was not. You know, I failed another Geometry test because of you," I changed the subject, knowing that we could argue for hours if we wanted to.

"That's not my fault."

"Yes, it is. You're supposed to be tutoring me."

"I tried to that one day…"

"Tuesday?"

"Yeah, but you distracted me with Truth questions."

"Well, you distracted me with ice cream."

"Anyone can eat and do work at the same time."

"Maybe I can't."

"Why can't you?"

"Because I have to focus on one or the other."

"I'll stop feeding you then."

"Fine, I'll starve," I declared.

"We already went over this."

"So are you going to keep food from me, or shove it down my throat?"

"That's a hard choice," he mocked. "Are you going to drink that?"

"Huh...oh, this," I shifted to bring the Sprite up. I had been holding onto it since he had given it to me at the bonfire. "I don't know, probably. I kind of forgot about it."

"I see that," he said. He was opening a Milky Way, and he began to bit off bits of chocolate.

I hopped off the bed, and sat on the floor, my back resting against the frame. I twisted the cap off of the Sprite, taking a sip. It soothed the dryness of my throat, and I continued to drink it. "When are report cards sent home?" I asked.

"The end of next week, right after finals. Do you want any?" he offered me the candy he had stolen.

"No." I shook my head, distracted by my thoughts. "Are you sure it's next week?"

"Yep."

I groaned, which made him smirk.

"You're thinking "oh shit, I really need Axel's help now", aren't you?"

"No. Well, kind of. Just in Geometry though."

"Ok. Maybe I can help you tomorrow or sometime."

"Uh-huh," I nodded.

"Want to go play pool? I mean, we have some time to kill."

"Sure." I stood up with him, and let him led the way to Demyx's basement. It had decent lighting, considering, and some people were sitting around. It wasn't too crowded, however, not like it had been upstairs. A few obnoxious guys were playing beer pong on a table, slowing getting wasted, but for the most part, it was pretty low-key.

Two girls were already in the middle of a game of pool. Once we got closer, I realized that it was Jessica and someone I don't know. She had a mass of brown curls on her head, and she wore light, blue jeans and a red shirt that showed off her bellybutton ring.

Jessica was leaning over the table, carefully aiming her shot. She noticed us and straightened. "Hey, you two," she said pleasantly.

The other girl stood there, the end of her cue resting on the ground, while her left hand wrapped around it. She looked us over, blowing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Oh, this is Tiffany," Jessica introduced. Tiffany shot her a look, and she corrected herself. "She likes to be called Naomi."

"Hey," Tiffany-I mean, Naomi-slurred. At first, I thought she was drunk, but I soon came to realize that it was just a part of her personality.

"I'm Axel, and this is Roxas," Axel nodded towards her.

Naomi stared at us, a bored look on her face.

"Can we play after you?" Axel asked.

"Sure thing," Jessica beamed. "Once I win, it's all yours."

"Not going to win," Naomi said, annoyed. She spoke agonizingly slow, and her syllables all ran together, making it hard to understand her. It was as if she didn't want to waste her energy on talking.

"Stop being a pool shark," Jessica laughed.

Axel and I watched as they continued their game.

"I can't believe I've never asked you this," I said. "How do you get your hair like that?"

"Hair gel," he said simply. "How do _you_ get _your_ hair like that?"

"I comb it," I frowned, trying to disguise how stupid I felt saying that. "How can you stand doing that every day?"

"I don't do it every day."

"I see you every day, and it's always like that."

"Ok, sometimes I don't. But it looks horrible without it."

"It can't look that bad."

"It does, trust me."

"I want to see," I sneered.

"No."

"If you come to school on Monday without doing anything to your hair, I'll sing."

"Hmmm, let me think about it...no."

I let it drop, for the time being. "It doesn't even look like you use hair gel," I said, poking a spike. "Doesn't feel like it either."

"You have to find the right brand," he shrugged. "My turn?"

"Uh, sure."

"Has Zexion said anything weird to you?"

"O-kkkk. Not really. We hardly ever talk. What's the worst thing about this party?"

Axel snickered. "Everything. Ok, then, what's the best thing about it?"

I glanced around. "The refreshments," I finally decided, taking another gulp of Sprite. "Why are you always so annoyed at Demyx?"

"Because he's an idiot. Where'd you get that bracelet?"

I had pushed the sleeves of my jacket up when we got inside, revealing my checkered bracelet. I didn't remember putting it on, to be honest. "It was a birthday present from Hayner. Why are you always so annoyed at Demyx?"

"Hello, Roxas," he waved his hand in front of my face. "You just asked that."

"You're the one who told-"

"New rule," he muttered, a sour look on his face.

"What is it this time?"

"You can't ask a question more than once, even if you don't like the answer."

"Ok. What did Demyx do to make you mad?"

"New rule," he said flatly, his frown deepening.

"I can barely remember the other rules you made up."

"Paraphrasing doesn't count as a new question."

"What should I ask, then?"

"Ask me how I came to be so astonishingly intelligent."

"No!" I protested.

"Ok, ask me what my greatest weakness is."

"What's your greatest weakness?"

"Are you left brained or right brained?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I believe I just answered your question, which means that it's my turn."

"Jerk," I hit his arm and he pretended to cringe in pain.

"Just 'cause I follow the rules."

"Yeah, and you're the one who made them."

"Then-"

He was interrupted by Jessica, who exclaimed, "Ha, Naomi!" She punched the air triumphantly.

"First time," Naomi said dully.

"I think she means," Axel said, waltzing over and grabbing Jessica's cue, "that there's a first time for everything."

"Yeah, probably. She always wins," Jessica said. "Isn't that right, Naomi?"

Naomi turned towards her, taking longer than any normal human being to reply, "Uh-huh."

Jessica grabbed Naomi's cue and passed it to me. She elbowed me in the ribs, winking as she said, "Good luck with this one. I've been told he's never lost."

"Never?" I asked skeptically.

Axel shrugged, and she continued, "Nope. Never. How good are you at pool?"

"I've only played a few times."

"Hey, Naomi, I bet you ten bucks that Axel wins," she called.

Naomi shook her head.

"Awww, come on," she whined.

"Thanks a lot," I muttered as Axel laughed.

"I need the money," she explained to me. "I'm planning on going to Alaska this summer."

"Ok."

Jessica finally hushed, and Axel and I started playing. He kept shooting me amused looks...um, pool is not my thing...

So, of course, Axel won and, of course, Jessica complained about the lost opportunity. She came up to me as I set my cue down. I drained the rest of my soda, and she immediately yanked it out of my hands.

"Let me throw this away for you," she batted her eyelashes.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously.

"Because it's the right thing to do," she said innocently.

I stared at her unbelievingly, and she repented. "Ok," she said, "can you show me where the trash can is? And I sort of need to talk to you."

I sighed. "We'll be right back," I told Axel and Naomi.

I went back to the kitchen and Jessica threw the bottle away. It seemed like the party was winding down, or so I hoped. A girl rested her head on the table; someone was passed out on the floor; two kids-probably siblings-argued about what time they had to be home.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.

"Not here," she hissed, eying the siblings.

We stepped into the hallway where it was empty. I could faintly hear a fast drum riff coming from the living room.

"So, Roxas," she said, fidgeting.

"So what?"

"I don't know how I should put this…" she said, uncomfortable. She was so outgoing; it was weird to see her studying the carpet and tucking her hair behind her ear nervously. I waited, and she gave a slight cough. Suddenly, she looked me square-on, all traces of unease gone as fast as they had appeared. "Screw it. Do you like Axel?"

"If I didn't like him, why would I be friends with him?"

"No. Do you _like_ him?" She stared me down, trying to figure out if I understood what she meant.

"Yeah…" I said slowly, uncertain of what she wanted from me. I looked at her blankly as she shook her head quickly. It hit me a second later. "Wait, what?"

"Do you like him?" she repeated.

"What kind of question is that?"

"A good one," she smiled slightly, smug. She leaned against the wall with this "I am soooo cool and I totally got you" look on her face. "I think you two would make a cute couple."

"Er, I think seeing Sora and Riku kiss got to your head."

"I did get a nosebleed," she giggled. "But I'm not stupid. It's pretty obvious."

"What's obvious?" I asked warily.

"That you two like each other."

"No, I think you're imagining things."

"You two are like…" she waved her hands around, like I'd understand it. "Hasn't it ever occurred to you?"

"No."

"Not at all?"

"No."

"Ok, ok. Imagine!" she spread her arms out dramatically, pretending to gaze off into the distance. "Axel shows up at your house unannounced. He is wearing some sexy outfit, and there is just enough moonlight to see the smile on his face. He greets you normally, but then he leans down slowly, caressing your face and kissing you softly, whispering-"

"Stop it," I glared at her. "You should become a movie writer or something."

"Ah, ah, ah," she chastised. "You're blushing. You're blushing!" She giggled, clapping her hands, the image of an extremely pleased girl.

"Stop saying that!"

"But it's true."

"Is not." Why did this always happen, I thought hopelessly, my face burning up. The more I thought about it, the more heat crept into my skin.

"Don't deny it."

"You're seriously ticking me off," I growled, just wanting her to drop the subject.

"If you don't like him, you could have just said so," she pouted. "There's no reason to get defensive…unless you don't want anyone to know that you're falling madly in love with him?"

"Get your head out of the gutter," I exclaimed. "How would you like it if I said that you and Naomi making out would be hot?"

"I would say thank you because, essentially, you'd be calling me hot...Roxas, don't be mad," she added quietly, suddenly wary of my reaction. "I feel like such a jerk."

"Well, you should."

"I'm sorry. I went a bit far, didn't I?"

"A bit?" I spat.

"I was only joking!...Well, for the most part. I mean, I did this to help someone out. I was trying to get you to admit you like Axel, obviously," she said, practically talking to herself now. "Thought a girl might be better at this sort of thing, you see," she chewed her thumbnail, worried.

"You can tell this someone that I don't appreciate it."

"Ok…" she nodded. "Please don't tell anyone about this. Just forget I said anything."

"I can't see what would possess anyone-"

"Really?" she shot me a skeptical look. "Are you that stupid?"

"Uhhh," I muttered, taken aback.

You two are always hanging out. He drives you to school, you eat lunch together, you go to his house afterschool until really late at night. Naturally, people come to their conclusions."

"How do you know that? That's creepy. This whole conversation is creepy. I think I'm going to leave now."

She stepped in front of me, her arms held out, blocking the way. "Forget it, ok?"

"Done and done."

She dropped her arms. "Sooo, have you danced yet?"

"No," I pushed past her roughly.

"Don't you like this song?" she asked from behind me. "Cause I gotta feeling whoo-who, that tonight's gonna be a good night."

"Not really." I went back downstairs. She kept following me, but at least she wasn't forcing me to dance.

Axel and Naomi had vanished. I glanced at Jessica, who was waving at someone. Clyde, of all people, approached us, a happy grin on his face. "Hi Jess," he said. "Hi Roxas. What's up?"

"Not much," Jessica smiled.

"I didn't know you two were here," he commented.

"Yeah we came 'together'," she said, making quotation marks in the air with her fingers. She was starting to remind me of Kelly.

"Clyde, get your ass back over here!" some guy at the table yelled.

"You guys up for some beer pong?" he nodded towards us.

"I don't really drink," Jessica said, moving away. She left me standing there like an idiot.

"Uh," I tried to pretest as Clyde dragged me away. Was he still trying to make peace with me? Doesn't he know that I no longer care?

That's how I found myself sitting at a table with a bunch of guys I don't know. A lot of them looked too old to be here; they were husky, with dark facial hair, and big, meaty hands. I must have looked like a preschooler compared to them, which explained why, each time one of them was successful in getting the quarter in the cup, they all pointed at me to drink. To make matters worse, I have really bad aim. The quarter would bounce off the rim, or would land on the table and roll a few inches, curving in on itself. Within a few minutes, I felt lightheaded and dizzy. It was amazing that the weak, watery beer they were using could have any effect on me, but I had drank my way through a countless number of them.

They set the quarter in front of me again. I shook my head, and a chorus of protest reached my ears.

"Hey, hey, I think he's had enough." I felt someone's hand rest on my shoulder. My first instinct said that it was Axel, so I pushed myself up into a standing position. I was scooped up and I felt the gentle rocking motion of Axel walking. The world started spinning and I fought a wave of nausea.

I was disoriented and confused, the alcohol in my system making everything appear fuzzy. And I had no idea what was going on.

"Can you stand?"

The voice didn't sound like Axel. Who in the world was holding me? I wanted to look up, but I didn't trust myself not to puke. "Ax…el?" I asked. My voice seemed separate from my body, and entirely too loud.

"Who's that?" the voice purred.

Definitely not Axel. Panic swept though me, and I struggled out of the person's grip. I fell to the floor, landing on my knees and toppling over to the side.

"Careful there," the man helped me to my feet.

I stood, wobbling slightly. The man gracefully moved closer to me, and I found myself leaning against him so that I wouldn't end up on the floor. He had soft facial features and his hair was…pink. He looked familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it… "Do I know you?" I asked after a second.

"I'm Marluxia," he smiled, straightening. I struggled to find balance, and he took my hand.

He shook hands with me rather vigorously, and I stumbled forward. He wrapped his arms around my torso, pulling me closer.

"Are you alright?" he whispered.

"Yeah," I said wildly, trying to push him away. He didn't budge. Instead his hands slipped under my shirt and rubbed my back; I shivered as his cold fingertips moved across my skin. "L-Let go!" I yelped.

"Hey, let's go somewhere," his breath brushed my cheek as he pressed his body against mine.

I jerked backwards out of his grip and staggered, losing my balance. I fell backwards, despite my attempts to right myself. And then, suddenly, someone was there.

Someone put his hands on my elbows to steady me, and to pull me back to my feet. The hands were warm.

It was Axel.

"What do you think you're doing?" Marluxia barked.

"I should be asking you that," Axel glared.

I stepped away from Axel, swaying. Bad move. I almost fell again, and had to grab Axel's hand to straighten myself.

Axel, after shooting Marluxia several dirty looks, led me outside to where it was dark and freezing cold. He let go of my hand, and gently pushed on my shoulders until I sat down on the porch steps. "Wait here," he said. "I'll be right back."

I rubbed my head, fighting the acid and bile that was rising in my throat. At that moment, I noticed Jessica and Naomi, who were standing off to the side, staring at me. Naomi was smoking, the end of her cigarette lit up like a firefly. She took a long drag.

"I told you so," Jessica nudged her.

"Mmm-hmm," she agreed.

"It's not what it looks like," I managed. "I can barely stand up straight."

"And that's why you were holding hands?" Jessica asked, skeptically.

I nodded, and buried my head in my knees, knowing that they wouldn't believe me no matter what I said. It was like I couldn't get away from Jessica but, thankfully, the two went back inside after a few minutes.

"Roxas?"

Sometime later, Axel reappeared, and we got into his car.

I buckled my seatbelt while Axel raved about Marluxia. He had a cut on his hand that was bleeding freely, and the only conclusion I could come to is that the two of them got into a fist fight.

"Where's Larxene and Jessica?" I asked, curling up on the passenger seat as Axel shifted gears.

"I have to come back for them," he said, craning his neck to see behind the car before he reversed out of the driveway.

"You don't have to," I mumbled. "We can stay…"

"It's ok, that whore would just try to get you into bed."

"Did you punch him?"

"Yeah, kinda," he smiled, guilty. "Got him pretty good. He's probably in the bathroom trying to get the blood out of his precious hair as we speak."

"Axel," I said, annoyed.

"He had it coming. And when you get home, make sure to take some aspirin."

"Why?"

"For the headache you're going to get in the morning. I thought you didn't like drinking?"

"I didn't want to...just happened."

He laughed. "If I'm ever drunk, don't worry, it just happened."

"This was the worst party ever."

"Yeah," he sighed. "No shit."

When we got to my house, he helped me inside. Thank god everyone was already asleep. I tucked myself in bed once I heard Axel drive away and within seconds I was out.

A/N: Funny story. I never realized how wrong the water bed scene sounded until my friend pointed it out. (I mean, he throws him on the bed, c'mon) And now I will be made fun of forever...oh well, I kept it anyway because water beds are the best! Oh and I know that squishyness isn't a word, but it really should be. :)

~KeedaxEmry


	21. No Guarantees

"Ok, before we split up, I want to make sure everyone has a cell phone," Kelly tittered, nervous at the prospect of not following us around like we're five-year-olds.

We each showed her that, yes, she could call us every two seconds. She counted how many phones there were-like that would make a difference. "We'll meet back here in an hour. Make sure to get everyone something nice. Don't eat anything until lunch," she continued. The last statement was solely for Sora's benefit; a mall offered all kinds of junk food that could ruin his health. Quarter machines filled with gumballs, greasy pizza, fudge, baked goods, a new candy store filled with a rainbow of anything sweet and processed. Maybe I'd stop there first, just to be defiant.

She dismissed us with a wary smile and Sora immediately began to pull Riku somewhere. I didn't see how that was going to work. We're suppose to get each other Christmas presents, but Kelly stressed the importance that they had to be a surprise, which is why we split up in the first place.

I walked away, heading towards the escalator. I had woken up with a massive headache, just to come here. The mall was as bad as our house, in terms of decorations. In the center, there was a Christmas tree that almost reached the ceiling, and an area was set up where you can meet "Santa." Fake snow was littered around his sleigh like garbage and elf workers stood around, looking exhausted and irritable. Christmas carols were being played in every store. I already had "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" stuck In my head, which only added to the throbbing pain of my hangover. I probably needed more aspirin. Lots more.

I stepped onto the moving stairs, thinking about Axel for a brief moment. No one would make him go Christmas shopping. Gah, this is so stupid.

I looped around upstairs a few times, not really looking at anything. I ended up at a dead end right in front of Macy's. The manikins in the store window were all wearing designer sweaters in various shades of red and green. The vents were right at the door, churning out a warm stream of air. I could see sale signs near the jewelry counter, where a bunch of middle-aged women were swarming.

I turned back the way I had come. What was I suppose to get them anyway? The mall was a gigantic building crawling with expensive things to buy, so I was bound to find something if I kept wandering. But it seemed like I was walking in circles, seeing the same stores over and over again. The employees were probably staring to give me weird looks, so I kept my head down. I checked my phone for the time. It's almost twelve, I sighed. I need to hurry up.

When I finally found a directory-thank god-I quickly scanned through all the names listed there. They had just about everything, not to mention an entire wing for the food court. I was going to head over to some toy store to get Sora a slinky or something else that would easily entertain him, but Kelly called. I had officially wasted an hour.

We met up and tried to find something healthy to eat. Everything was either fast food, or something to snack on. Kelly decided on Subway and, since no one else had a say in the matter, that's what we got.

We sat at a table, amidst the dull roar of the crowd.

"Is everyone finished?" Kelly asked, happily popping a piece of lettuce in her mouth. She was surrounded by bags of whatever she had bought. Knowing her, I thought, she probably couldn't choose and bought everything in the store.

"Not really," Riku muttered.

"Mmm-hmmm," Sora said enthusiastic, his mouth full.

"I think we need some more time," my dad suggested.

"Alright then. That's fine," she said. "Roxas? How did things go for you?"

"Um," I glanced around my empty side of the table. I was the only one who hadn't bought a thing. "Ok."

I continued to eat, staying quiet; Sora was telling my dad about the story of Saint Nicholas, while Riku and Kelly talked about peer pressures in high school, or something along those lines.

"Why are we shopping," I said, "when Santa's the one who brings the presents?" I was hoping that, by saying that, I would either crush Sora's belief on the whole thing, or hopefully get out of shopping. Cross your fingers.

Everyone looked up, surprised that I had said something, which was sad, really, but I was use to it.

"Because it's the season of giving!" Kelly promptly exclaimed.

"And we can't let Santa do all the work," Sora nodded earnestly.

"True," I agreed. Sora beamed; he could never pick up on my undertones of sarcasm. My dad and Riku, however, could and were both shooting me you-had-better-knock-it-off looks. I pressed on, undaunted. "I mean, he flies around the entire world in one night."

"Yes, he does."

"With a sleigh full of a million presents."

"Uh-huh."

"And he sneaks into people's houses to leave them there. When he's done, his magical flying reindeer take him to the North Pole, to his workshop that has elves for workers."

"Yeah."

"And he knows if you're awake, or if you're sleeping, and if you've been good or bad."

"That's so he can give toys to the boys and girls who have been good all year long."

"Yes...how does he know?"

"He just does," Sora insisted.

"Magic," Riku supplied.

"Yes, Santa uses magic."

"How does he get into houses?" I asked.

"Through the chimney."

"What if there is no chimney?"

"Then...then..." he glanced at Riku for an explanation.

Riku thought for a second, then said, "He uses magic to unlock the door."

"Yes, exactly," Sora said proudly.

"How does he keep track of all the presents?" I asked.

"...magic."

"How does he eat everyone's cookies?"

"That's why he's so fat."

"How is he suppose to know that you moved?"

Sora's mouth was already open, probably to say magic, but he stopped at that retort, dumbfounded. "He doesn't know where we are," he said weakly.

"I wrote him, sunshine," Kelly reassured.

"He knows," Riku nodded.

Sora paused, thinking, a piece of turkey hanging out of his mouth. He looked rather peculiar, as in ridiculous, sitting there, lost in thought, not even noticing that he was in mid-bite. I wanted to say "careful, don't hurt yourself" but instead I picked at my own sandwich. My dad didn't look too happy, so it was wise to keep my mouth shut.

Riku started to laugh, and he pushed the piece of turkey into Sora's mouth. Sora giggled, kissing Riku's fingertips.

Riku sat back in his seat, smiling. Kelly and Sora had an identical, pleased look on their faces while my dad appeared unphased. I couldn't understand how Sora and Riku could stand acting like that in public, especially after last night.

"I can't wait until Christmas," Sora sang.

He shouldn't have said anything, I thought. "Yeah," I commented, "so your imaginary saint can come."

"He isn't imaginary!" he bursted.

"Yes, he is. The whole concept of him isn't possible."

"No," Sora whimpered.

"Don't listen to him," Riku glared at me. "He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Adults made him up so that they could get children to behave," I said. "Santa Claus isn't real. Magic isn't real. Flying reindeer aren't real."

"It...is...real," he sniffed. He was getting more upset then I thought he would; he was on the verge of tears.

"I believe in Santa and I'm an adult," Kelly said.

Riku wrapped his arms around Sora. "Santa is as real as you or me," he said softly.

"He's going to have to stop believing in fairytales sometime," I rolled my eyes. "Why do you think we're shopping? Because parents go out to buy gifts so that they can put them under the tree when everyone's asleep."

"Can you shut up for five seconds?" Riku shot at me as Sora buried his head in Riku's shoulder, now crying freely.

"Roxas," my dad warned. "stop this nonsense and apologize."

"I'm sorry, Sora," I mumbled.

"Santa is real and you know it," he continued. Oh god, I thought. Now he's doing it too. "Tell him that you didn't mean what you said."

Once my dad uttered those words, I was furious. He was the one who had ruined my childhood belief of Santa. When I was six, I began to wonder how it was all possible and he told me plainly that it was all fake. My mom enjoyed going along with the whole idea of it-but my dad said that there was no point in letting me believe in such rubbish. So that tradition stopped abruptly, much to my mom's disappointment. My dad had become such a hypocrite; he was the last person to say he believed in something he couldn't see. And here he was, trying to keep Sora's innocence after completely crushing mine. I clenched my fists under the table, my blood boiling. Everyone was waiting for my response. My dad was staring me down, Kelly was nibbling at her food, worried, Riku was switching back and forth from soothing Sora and giving me murderous looks. All the while, Sora cried.

"I didn't mean it," I spat.

"Roxas, honey, don't say it like that," Kelly said as Sora began to bawl. He could barely breathe, despite Riku's best attempts to calm him down. People around us were trying not to stare.

"Say it again," my dad demanded.

"I didn't mean it," I choked out. If I wasn't careful, I would grind my teeth until they cracked.

"Again," he commanded.

"I didn't mean it."

"We can sit here all day if that's what it takes."

"I didn't mean it," I forced myself to say, with no traces of venom.

"See, Sora? He was just kidding," Riku said.

Sora looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah, really," I said. My dad mouthed "I'm waiting", so I continued. "I made that stuff up. Santa exists."

Sora wiped the tears off his face and began to smile. Then, something occurred to him, and he was back to howling.

"What's wrong?" Riku asked, the relief that had poured into him vanishing.

"Roxas is going to get coal for lying!" Sora exclaimed.

No one seemed to have an explanation for that; my dad and Kelly looked at each other warily, while Riku shot me dirty looks. I picked at my food, trying not to smirk.

"Sora," Kelly finally said, "Santa is really forgiving."

"Yeah," Riku chimed. "He knows that Roxas said sorry."

"Oh, so...so...Roxas isn't on the...naughty list?" Sora sputtered, his sobs making it hard to talk.

"No, he's not."

Within a few moments, Sora was back to his cheerful self and I was back to sitting there, silent.

When we were done eating, Kelly gathered all her bags, telling us when and where to meet. We all went our separate ways.

I went towards the east section of the mall, the part I hadn't gotten to yet.

I entered some toy store where children were running and screaming and arguing. I grabbed the first thing I saw and bought it.

This continued for a while. I'd go into a store, and buy whatever I saw first.

So far I had gotten Sora a box of crayons, and a black coffee cup for my dad. I was about to go into F.Y.E when my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket, holding my single bag in my other hand.

"Hello?" I said.

"Morning," Axel greeted.

My heart leapt to my throat, and I started grinning. What's wrong with me, I thought, disgusted. It's just Axel. "Hate to break this to you," I said, "but it's already one o' clock."

"Oh, whoops," he laughed. "I guess I slept in."

"You guess?"

"You'd be tired too if you stayed at Demyx's house for as long as I did."

"The second I got home, I fell asleep."

"I'm sure. How's your head?"

"Painful." I rubbed my forehead at that, cringing slightly. "Yours?"

"I didn't drink, so I feel great."

"Weren't we going to do something today?"

"You mean study?"

"Oh, yeah."

"That _is_ why I called."

"I can't now. Kelly dragged us to the mall to go Christmas shopping."

"Which mall?"

"I don't know."

"Roxas!" Sora exclaimed, running up to me. "Who you talking to?"

"Go away," I hissed.

"Roxas?"Axel asked.

"Sorry, it's Sora."

"Is that Axel? Tell him I said hi," Sora beamed.

"No. Anyway, maybe we can hang out later," I said.

"Yeah," Axel agreed.

"But, Roxas," Sora whined. "Mom wants to make snowmen."

"Shouldn't you be shopping?" I exclaimed, exasperated.

"I was shopping with Riku, but he said I had to leave, and I don't like shopping alone, 'cause there's no one to talk to, so he told me that I could shop with you!"

"Great," I muttered. "I have to go, Axel. I'll call you later."

"Ok," he said. "See ya."

"So you were talking to Axel! What are you going to get him?" Sora said after I hung up.

"Get him?" I asked blankly.

"For Christmas!"

"Oh…I haven't given it much thought," I said truthfully. I had given my friends Christmas presents only when I found something they would love; like the year I got Hayner a cap gun, or the year I got Olette that frog-shaped alarm clock. They would always get me things, but I can never figure out what people would want. What would Axel want for Christmas? I have no idea.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," he smiled. "Are you done shopping?"

"Um…no."

"I can help you."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me into F.Y.E. I tried to ditch him in the children's section but…that really didn't work out. Anyway, I ended up getting some bloody action movie for Riku. My reasoning behind that was that him and Sora always watched what Sora wanted to watch. As in, lovey-dovey romanticized cartoons. It would be a nice change of pace for him...I guess.

"Sora, go shop with your mom," I complained as he continued to skip alongside me.

"I don't know where she is," he hummed.

"Oh, look, there she is," I pointed to a Claire's and shoved him away from me.

"Ok!" He ran off.

Thank god, I thought, rubbing my temples. I finally got rid of him.

How long will it take him to realize that she's not there? I glanced behind my shoulder nervously, picking up the pace.

I wandered into the next store, and got Kelly a statue of an turtle...like I said, I'm not good at finding gifts. And she'd probably like anything I give her.

There, I thought, shoving everything in one large bag. I'm done.

I looked up, and blinked. Riku was striding towards me, carrying a golden retriever puppy.

"Roxas, take it," he shoved the bundle of fur in my arms, making me drop the shopping bag.

"You got him a puppy?" I asked flatly. It began to lick my face feverishly and I tried to give it back to him.

"Consider this payment," Riku scowled, angry.

"Payment for what?"

"For being such a selfish jerk. I have to go before Sora realizes that I left."

"What do I do with it?" I asked, aghast.

"It's a her," he said, distracted. "Hide her until Christmas."

"What?" I exclaimed. "How-"

He turned on heel, leaving me standing there, my stuff sprawled out on the ground, and the puppy trying to give me a bath.

I gathered the bag, thinking, what am I going to do now? The fleabag was squirming, trying to slip out of my arms; it gave a little yap, and I held it tighter. I debated about just giving it to Sora-it had to be for him-but Riku would slaughter me. It was amazing that he hadn't done anything to me after I mocked Sora...repeatedly...had Demyx lock him in a closet...inadvertently told everything that he's gay...made Sora cry...repeatedly...

Huh. How had he not beat the crap out of me yet? Maybe because that would upset Sora…then again, this mongrel posed a big enough problem. I could get rid of it and piss Riku off, or I could hide it...somehow.

I made a decision, and went to the front of the mall. The glass door revealed how dreary and miserable it looked outside; dark clouds suppressed the sun, and snow clung to cars and sidewalks like mold. The trees seemed to shiver as the wind picked up and bent their branches into awkward angles.

I pulled my phone out, and pressed one. I was forced to set the bag down, so that I was able to clutch the puppy with one arm and hold my phone in the other.

"Hey, Roxie."

"Hi Axel. I'm done, come get me."

"I'd be there in five seconds, but, alas, I still don't know where you are."

"Wait a second," I craned my neck to see the sign outside. "I'm at Arundel Mills."

He whistled. "You guys drove all the way out there?"

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's probably Kelly's favorite mall or something."

"Heh, probably. I am unlocking my car as we speak."

"Did you do anything today? There's no way you got ready that fast."

"I got Xaldin to make me breakfast, then I was sitting around watching Demyx and Zexion trying to play Pacman. I'm surprised Demyx isn't grounded."

"Why?"

"His parents came home early and we weren't done cleaning."

"What?"

"God, you're slower than usual today."

"I thought his parents were there."

He laughed. "Of course not. Demyx planned the bonfire for when his parents had a conference in Pittsburgh. After I dropped you off last night, I took Larxene and Jessica home. It was an odd experience actually," he said thoughtfully. "Larxene passed out sooner than usual, and Jessica and I had to carry her to the car. Jessica was acting...not like herself. She was saying the weirdest things."

My breath caught in my throat. What did she tell him, I thought, panicking. The same thing she told me? How did he react?

"Roxas? Are you there?"

Calm down, I told myself sternly. It doesn't mean anything; Jessica is being stupid, that's all. "Yeah," I said. "What was she saying?"

"She kept asking where you went, and she kept smirking at me. It was creepy."

"Really?"

He paused for a second, then came the inevitable question. "Are you ok?"

"What do you mean?"

"You sound like you're choking."

"I'm fine," I cleared my throat, ignoring my churning stomach.

"Ok then," he said, unconvinced. "After I dropped them off, I went back to help Demyx clean up the mess. I was taking the beer cans out, mind you, I was recycling, when they pulled up. They weren't suppose to get home until tomorrow."

"And he didn't get in trouble?"

"They gave the whole we're-very-disappointed speech, and then let it slide. They're pretty cool, actually. His dad said "boys will be boys" and went upstairs to unpack. I left, came home, and fell asleep. Any other questions, now that I have finished narrating my life?"

"Um, no. Just hurry up."

"It'll take me a while, even if I speed."

"Which you are?"

"Yep."

"Go faster."

"I don't want to get a ticket. You can wait, no matter how badly you want to see me. It may be hard, but I have faith in you."

"Nice speech. Are you here yet?"

"No. What parking garage are you at?"

"Uh, I'm in front of the parking lot that's outside."

"On the east side?"

"Maybe?"

"What's across the street?"

"Safeway."

"Ok then."

"I'll be here."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I put my phone away, trying to ignore the fact that my heart was racing. It made no sense. Why had I freaked out when he mentioned Jessica? The worst that could have happened was she told him that we (meaning him and I) would make a cute couple. He would easily scoff that away. But what if Jessica said something else? She could have told him _my_ reaction last night...or she could have told him that I like him or...

I stiffened, my grip on the puppy tightening. I never said that. I never said that I like him...had I?

No, I thought. I didn't. Jessica was messing with us; that's the kind of person she is, so I shouldn't take what she said seriously. Axel and I are friends. I might know him better than Hayner, and I might hang out with him whenever humanly possible, but that meant nothing. Baltimore sucks, and he is the only thing here that doesn't make me want to throw up...so yeah. That's why we're such good friends.

The puppy started to struggle, and I set her down after she almost succeeded in wiggling out of my arms. She proceeded to untie my shoe and began to yank at it.

"Stop it," I scolded. She didn't even look up.

Thankfully, by the time Axel pulled up, she had worn herself out and fallen asleep. Not to mention, I had calmed myself down.

I scooped everything up and ran outside.

"You got a dog?" Axel raised his eyebrow.

I settled the bag at my feet and the puppy curled up on my lap, yawning. "I didn't. Riku did."

"Why do you have it then?"

"He wants me to hid it until Christmas."

"And you actually agreed?"

"So Riku won't sock me, yeah."

"Where are you going to..." His eyes traveled up from the puppy until they met mine and he immediately understood. "_No_."

"Please, Axel!" I begged. "It'll only be for two weeks!"

"Hide him in your own house," he grumbled.

"Her," I corrected. "I can't, Sora will find her."

"Put her in your room."

"He snoops through the entire house!"

"How do you know he goes in your room?"

"One day I came home and he was told me that a quote from To Kill A Mockingbird is said by Atticus. He actually _said_ the quote, word for word."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I had that particular English test in my room, and that was one of the questions I got wrong."

"That doesn't mean he was in your room."

I shot him a look. "Yes, it does."

"That book is so boring."

"I wouldn't know."

"You didn't read it?"

"Nope."

"Roxas!"

"What?" I asked, irritated.

"You have to read the book to pass the class."

"No, as long as I answer the questions with common sense-"

"Why didn't you read it?"

"Because I didn't feel like it."

"Read the stupid thing."

"Ok, whatever. You're distracting me again."

"You're the one who brought it up."

"What am I going to do this with this?" I held the puppy up.

"From my understanding, you are going to hide her somewhere."

"You'd only have to-"

"I can't," he said quickly. "Larxene is allergic."

"But I need somewhere to put her."

"Have Kelly hide her."

"I don't think anyone knows about her, besides me and Riku."

"She'll do it if you ask."

"I don't want to ask."

"That's not my problem."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"It's not for that long. I can owe you…"

"What am I going to get in return?"

"What do you want?"

"How about the next time we get food, it's on you."

"Fine."

"No guarantees, though. Xemnas has to be ok with it."

"And Larxene?"

"She'll live."

I laughed at that.

XxXxX

"I'll see what I can do. Xemnas!" Saix called. He didn't really strike me as an animal-lover, or a lover of anything for that matter, but he had picked the puppy right up. He tried to act like he didn't care. When the puppy had began to teethe his fingers, however, his face softened and he started to stroke her chin.

I sat down on the couch, while Axel leaned against the wall. I didn't want to go home anytime soon; Kelly had left a panicked message on my phone, wondering where I disappeared to. "Wondering" meaning that she had come to the conclusion that I had been mugged and beaten. I had sent her a text message saying that I was at Axel's house, and she hadn't replied yet. I normally wouldn't have done that, but I was in enough trouble already. Maybe Riku came up with an excuse for me...probably not...

"Yes?" Xemnas appeared. "Please make this quick Saix, I was going to take a bath…why, hello, Roxas."

"Hi," I greeted.

"Life has been less exciting lately, hasn't it?"

"What do you mean?" I glanced at Axel uncertainly.

"With Xion gone," he said sadly. "It's so much quieter around here."

I resisted the urge to laugh at that so that I wouldn't hurt his feelings; I mean, Xion? She never talked, how would it get quieter? "Oh," I said.

"She's in a better place now."

"She died?" I blurted. Immediately, I wish I hadn't said anything, because Xemnas now looked tormented, misery written into his face.

"No…" he grew quiet.

"She's at Sunnyville," Saix spoke. "It's a mental hospital for youth."

"Oh…I didn't know…" I said awkwardly.

"That's why Zexion was so pissed yesterday," Axel nodded. "None of us knew about what had happened to her, before she came to live with us."

I wanted to ask what happened, but felt like I shouldn't.

Axel must have figured that out, because he started to explain. "She came here a few months ago, after her mother, Aerith, died."

"Xion's uncle killed her mother, and she was forced to watch. He upset Aerith, making her have an asthma attack, and she slowly suffocated while he teased her with the inhaler."

"Her uncle then walked out of the house, and Xion called the police," Saix said.

"That's horrible," I said, feeling sorry for her. No wonder why she was so screwed up.

"Yes," Saix agreed. He turned to Xemnas. "Sir?"

"What is that?" Xemnas asked, finally taking notice of the puppy.

"Axel was wondering if we could keep her for a while."

"For how long?"

"Two weeks, sir."

"Roxas is going to give it to his brother for Christmas, and he wants it to be a surprise," Axel said.

"That's fine," Xemnas murmured. "Now…"

He gave me a small smile, then left. Saix followed him, still holding the puppy.

"That was easier than I thought it would be," Axel grinned. "Who knew Saix had a soft spot?"

I stayed over there for a while. I ordered Chinese food, paying off my debt quickly by using the money left over. Axel drove me home around ten.

"See you tomorrow," Axel said as I hopped out.

"I can get a ride to school, right?"

"Yep."

"Good. I hate getting rides from Kelly."

"Good-night," he chuckled.

"Night," I shut the door.

When I got inside, I found the house dark and silent. The only light was the TV flickering in the living room.

Riku and Sora were bundled up on the couch, a blanket wrapped around them. Sora was fast asleep, and Riku was watching some documentary.

"What did you do with it?" Riku asked.

I stopped. "Huh?"

"With the puppy."

"It's at Axel's house."

"Are you sure he'll take good care of it?" he criticized.

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes. Thankfully, he didn't see.

I was about to go upstairs when he stopped me. "Are you ok?"

"...I'm fine," I muttered, confused.

"You look funny."

"Ok?"

"You were at Axel's house all day?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, ok, that explains it." He turned back to the show.

I laid in bed that night, the same thoughts swirling in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about what Jessica had said. I had felt so awkward around Axel today, wondering what she had told him, and then Riku...

Did Axel notice? I don't think he did, I thought. No...he probably just thought I was being stupid and self-conscious and clumsy. More than likely.

I pulled my blanket up to my chin. Why was I so worried? Jessica doesn't know what she's talking about...

A/N: I don't like this chapter. It doesn't help that I've been sick and stressed over finals. BLEH no excuses. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think is going to happen next! ^-^

~KeedaxEmry


	22. Concentration

I was sitting on a bed, Dora the Explorer illuminated on the TV in front of me. I looked around; white curtains covered the windows, there was a boom box with a broken CD case laying next to it-it was the Hercules soundtrack-a teddy bear was sitting on what looked like a science textbook, and the closet in the corner was open, filled with hangers holding jeans, sweaters, etc. I'm in Sora and Riku's room, I realized. When did they get a TV?...and why was I in here?

"Swiper no swiping!" the lively characters exclaimed.

I perched at the edge of the bed, watching as Swiper failed.

"What the hell are you watching?"

I jumped at Axel's voice, and he smirked from his criss-crossed position next to me. He seemed to have appeared out of thin air.

"I didn't see you there," I said, my heart racing.

He shot me a weird look. "I've _been_ here." Music floated around the room as Dora and her friends began to sing. "Dora? Really?" he muttered.

"Yes," I said stubbornly.

"Why?"

"Because it...I don't know, it's on," I said.

"Te amo."

"What? Stop speaking Spanish, it confuses me."

"Stop watching little kid shows then."

"There was nothing else on!"

"Te amo, te amo, te amo," he said happily, leaning back on his hands and shooting me a wide smile.

"What does that even mean?"

"I don't know how I put up with you."

"That's not nice."

"I'm not a nice person," he said simply.

"Yeah, I've already kn-"

I stopped abruptly as he put his hand near my thigh and swung in front of me, grinning. I stared at him from my cornered position in-between his legs, not even daring to breathe. He dug his hands into the bed on either side of me, and leaned forward. We fell backwards onto the bed, and he hovered above me, a smug look on his face. My legs were dangling off the side, so I pushed myself up further; Axel scooted up with me, and my lungs stung, reminding me to take a shallow gulp of air.

"What were you saying?" he purred.

"I..was..."

"Shhhh," he murmured. I froze, and he bent over until his face was centimeters from mine. I felt my face flush, and my stomach flopped over like an old tired dog. "Te amo," he whispered again before kissing me. His lips pressed gently against mine, and he wrapped his arms around me. I found myself kissing him back...

XxXxX

I jolted awake. I stared at the ceiling, shocked, the feeling of Axel's lips still on mine.

Oh god, I thought, rubbing my eyes like it would make me forget what I'd seen. What was that? _What was that?_

My mind began to race then abruptly stopped as if it was a race car smashing into a brick wall. The only thing I could think was: Jessica was right. She was right. I like Axel...not as a friend but as...

Even as I told myself over and over again "no, he's a guy, no, he's a guy," I couldn't push the dream away. It was too real and...

No, I thought, I can't like my best friend. It's wrong. It's everything I'm against: Sora, Riku, Hayner...

I'm becoming Hayner, I realized. Maybe gayness...bi-ness...? Whatever you'd call it. Maybe it spreads like a sickness, and I spent too much time with Hayner and caught it-

I'm being ridiculous. People are just born that way. Aren't they? And, besides, I don't like Axel. Nope. Not one bit. You want to know why? Number one, he's a guy and I'm straight. Number two, I only dreamt that because Jessica polluted my mind, and it really didn't mean anything, it was just a stupid dream. Number three...he's too tall. How would that work out? So...yeah. I don't like him.

Some little part of me tried to contradict that with a whole list of reasons why I do actually like him...how he was the only person who could make me smile...or laugh...how I got that peculiar feeling in my stomach whenever I saw him. How I-

"Roxas!" Kelly knocked on my door. "We're going to be late!"

"I'm getting up," I called.

"Don't make me get Sora!"

"I said, I'm coming!" I yelled. I heard her walk away. I waited for her footsteps to pad down the stairs before I pulled myself out of bed. The last time she said she'd get Sora, he barged in, singing. I had forgotten to lock the door the night before, a mistake I wouldn't make again. Or so I thought. On some nights, I would get home later than usual, and would be too tired to think about anything besides sleep. Most of the time, I locked it behind me, almost like it's a reflex. But with my bad luck-

"It's just another manic Monday!" Sora came out of nowhere, launching himself towards me like a bouncy ball. And guess what? He was singing.

I stood up hastily, groaning. "I'm up."

"Wish it was Sunday," he continued, "cause that's my fun day. My I-don't-have-to-run-day. It's just another manic Monday."

"Yes, very manic," I humored him. "Now go away."

"Hey, Roxas, Roxas," he pestered, poking my arm.

"What?" I snapped, turning away from him to make my bed.

"Do you know how many days there are until Christmas?"

"No."

"Ten!"

"Ok."

"What do you want?"

"I want to get ready for school."

"No, for Christmas!"

"I want a gun."

"You'll shoot your eye out," Riku said coolly, leaning against the door frame.

"Yeah, that wouldn't be good," Sora agreed solemnly.

"Come on," Riku held his hand out. "Roxas needs to get ready."

Sora bounded over to him, tackling him into a bear hug. They left, and I finished making my bed. I need to stop daydreaming, I thought, glancing at the clock. I had exactly twelve minutes to be in my first class. Crap.

I threw on some clothes, grabbed my backpack, and ran downstairs.

"...and so I went to pick it up-oh, good morning, sleepy-head," Kelly beamed at me.

Everyone, excluding my dad, who was already at work, were sitting around the table, eating from a bowl of fresh fruit. I saw Axel's shock of red hair; he was sitting closest to me, tossing raspberries into his mouth. He turned towards me, smiling. I just about had a heart attack.

"Good morning, Roxie," he welcomed.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked, forcing my tensed muscles to relax.

"That's no way to greet your favorite person in the whole wide world!"

"You're far from it."

"Who is it, then?"

"Me, me!" Sora chimed.

"No," I told him.

"Awww. Is it Riku? Mom? Dad? Demyx? Zexion?"

"No. We're going to be late."

"Who then?"

"Orlando Bloom," I rolled my eyes.

Sora shot me a confused look. "Who?"

"He's in Pirates of the Caribbean," Riku stood up. "I'm going to go warm up the truck."

He left. "Oh!" Sora exclaimed. "I didn't know you liked that movie so much! We should watch-"

"Why are you two waiting for me anyway?" I asked crossly.

"Because that's what brothers do."

"Do you want some breakfast?" Kelly offered me.

"I'm good."

"Studies show-"

"We have to get going," Axel said. "Although I'm not sure I want to chauffeur someone who hates me."

"I don't hate you, geez," I said, getting annoyed again.

"I'll make sure he gets fed, ma'am," Axel left the table.

Kelly, already flustered, said, "Thank you so much."

"Not a problem. Let's get going, Roxie," he put his hand on my shoulder and steered me away.

"Have a good day!" she called as we walked out the door.

Sora ran past us, and got into Riku's truck. They drove off.

"Why didn't you wait for me out here?" I demanded once we were in Axel's car.

"You were taking forever," he complained, "and there is only so much entertainment my car can provide."

"What time did you get here?"

"Same time as usual."

"So you got impatient in two minutes?"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"You're always late!"

"I am not."

"On Friday, you got here right when the first bell rang, and on Thursday-"

"I don't have to give you a ride."

"You don't, but you do anyway."

"I could leave you here."

"Yeah, right," I said dryly.

He unlocked his door and got in. I reached for the door instinctively, yanking the handle. It didn't budge.

"Axel!" I banged the window with my fist as he pretended to not notice me. "Axel!" I yelled again.

He merely smirked, and unlocked it.

I jumped inside, slamming the door. "We're already late," I glared at him.

"Exactly," he pulled out of the driveway. "So what's the point of rushing?"

"You're really starting to-"

"I'm sorry, Roxie, I can't hear you," he said before twisting the volume dial on the dashboard. He cranked it all the way up, making my eardrums want to explode and spew blood all over the upholstery.

I turned the volume down, wincing. To my surprise, he didn't react immediately. Instead, he said, "Want some stir-fry for breakfast?"

"Stir-fry? That's not breakfast."

"Anything can be breakfast."

"I'm not hungry."

"Eat anyway."

"No."

"You have to eat something," he tried to reason with me. "We can stop at-"

"Like I said, we're late."

"Fine, be like that."

"I will."

He reached back behind his seat to grab a white paper bag; he threw it towards me, and it landed right on my lap. I reached inside and found a blueberry muffin, a clear, plastic container holding a cinnamon roll, a few scones, and different kinds of croissants.

"Why do you have a bag of pastries in your car?" I asked.

"For emergencies such as this."

"And why aren't we headed towards school?" I peered out the window, seeing intersecting roads and exit signs. "Why are we on the interstate?"

"When did you become such a teacher's pet?"

"Answer the question, Axel."

"Ok, maybe I forgot to mention that I have an errand to run."

"What errand?...it's eight-oh-nine."

"I am fully aware of the time."

"We're going to get detentions."

"No, we're not."

"That's what you say." I turned towards the window, rolling my eyes.

"I have to pick something up, ok?"

"Can't it wait?"

"No."

I groaned. "Shouldn't you have gotten it _before_ you came to my house?"

"Shoulda, but my alarm clock doesn't work. For some reason, it stopped beeping for an hour then started up again."

"You're the one who puts the settings on it."

"What are you talking about?"

"The snooze settings. If you want to wake up on time, set it for a few minutes."

"Oh. I didn't press snooze, I fell asleep."

"For an hour?"

"Yep."

"And it was still beeping?"

"Yep."

"How did you manage that?"

"I was tired. Eat."

"I don't-"

My voice was drowned out by the chorus of some ACDC song. I straightened in my seat, and spun the dial until the music settled in the background.

Axel glanced at me, his eyes meeting mine before he leaned forward, reaching towards it again.

I pounced, grabbing the dial before he could. His fingers brushed my hand, and he drew back.

"No es justo," he muttered.

"What's that mean?" My dream appeared in my mind, and I found myself dropping my arm, my heart pounding.

"It means that you're being unfair," he proclaimed, "and this is my car, and my CD player."

"Oh, ok," I choked out.

"What?" He turned towards me for a second, thoughtful. "You're giving up that easily?"

"Yeah," I bowed my head as his eyes searched my face.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"Is Kelly still pissing you off?"

I just shook my head, forcing myself to look up. "I'm fine."

"Is it Sora?" he pressed.

"It's nothing."

"Roxas, don't make me…"

"Make you what?"

"Make me…stop the car."

"I was thinking about Geometry, ok?"

"Oh," he tapped the steering wheel. "We didn't study this weekend, did we?"

"No."

"At school we can."

"Uh-huh."

I liked talking to him in his car more than anywhere else. He could only look at me momentarily before having to focus on the road. Now, he glanced at me again, obviously trying to gauge if that really was what was bothering me. I kept my face still, even though I had this wild, nervous urge to laugh. I managed to hold my composure, and just pressed my lips together tightly.

"Are you going to eat or not?" he asked after a while.

I picked up a scone, slowly and exaggeratingly taking a bite.

"Don't choke," he said.

"I'll try not to." I took another bite.

He laughed, leaning forward to grab the muffin. His arm brushed mine and I stiffened. It was like electricity, shooting up and down my spine. I tucked my feet in closer together, curling my toes up as if that would help. Please, for the love of god, don't blush, I thought, knowing full well that blood was already rushing to my cheeks. There's something wrong with me; he touched my arm, for crying out loud! And now I was reacting like some infatuated girl...it's because of that dream. That stupid, stupid dream.

I snuck a glance at Axel to see if he had noticed. I was in luck: he was happily eating, one hand draped on the steering wheel loosely while his other hand directed the muffin towards his mouth. He appeared unaware, for once. I ignored everything, putting the rest of the scone in my mouth. I spent a moment concentrating on chewing and swallowing.

To my relief, he turned the music back up, and I didn't have to talk.

Soon enough, though, he shut it off. "Ta-da," he twisted his keys, and the car fell silent. "We're here."

We were in a parking lot. "I'll be right back," he said, hopping out of the car.

I watched him until he disappeared, my mind overactive. I couldn't shake the strange exhilaration that was bubbling up in my stomach, which was all because he accidentally rubbed my arm. It didn't make sense whatsoever. Unless I did like him...which is a definite no. The only person I have ever, ever liked, I thought, is Naminé. But this is almost exactly how I acted around her...

I stopped thinking about it, refusing to acknowledge it.

Axel came back a few minutes later, holding a pencil.

"You needed a pencil?" I shot him a dirty look.

"You can't go to school without it," he stated.

"I could have given you one," I shook my head. "I can't believe this…"

"Well, sorry. I sort of had a test this hour," he grinned at me.

"What?" I snapped.

"I was going to fail. We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"Seriously?"

"But now I don't have time to take it," he said cheerfully.

By the time I got to school, history class was almost over. I slinked in while Mr. Resmusis was busy helping another student. I sank into my seat, quickly pulling out my homework and setting it on my desk.

Just as I thought I had gotten away with it, a girl's hand shot up. "Mr. Resmusis!" she called.

"Yes?" he walked over to her.

"Shouldn't _all_ students be treated equally?"

"Of course."

"Then why is he allowed to be fifty minutes late to class?" She pointed at me.

"Roxas? Do you have a pass?"

"Ye-yeah," I stammered. I dug through my pockets, searching for the slip of paper Axel had given me. It wasn't there. I urgently went through my backpack while Mr. Resmusis looked on and the girl snickered with the rest of the class. "Um…I can't find it," I admitted.

"Where were you?"

What did Axel write on it? I racked my brain. Dentist appointment? Broken car? Or maybe I just overslept? "My dad's car wouldn't start," I finally said.

"Everyone knows he gets a ride to school with _Axel_," the girl sneered.

I hate the people in this class, I thought, wishing I could disappear.

"Roxas?" Mr. Resmusis ignored the laughter that had filled the room. "If you don't have a pass, I'll have to mark you tardy."

I nodded, resuming my search. It was in the one place I hadn't bothered to look: the side pocket of my backpack. I practically threw it at the teacher, and he read it, threw it away, and said, "Alright then, you are excused. Everyone get back to work."

The day passed by in a blur. I kept my thoughts on my assignments. It was easier to think about writing an essay, measuring angles, creating a PowerPoint, playing floor hockey, then to think about what had transpired earlier.

Lunch was the hardiest. Axel kept asking why I was being so quiet, why I was acting so weird. I was grateful when Demyx distracted him with a conversation about some show he had found on TV.

Then it was time for Biology, the class I had been dreading all day.

I can't deal with this, I thought, walking down the hall towards Mr. Frijol's room. I need to clear my head before I-

"Thank god school's almost over," Axel pulled down on my backpack, almost making me topple over.

"Yeah," I agreed nervously.

"You still up for some studying?" he asked as we walked into the classroom and sat down. Axel's former lab partner, Wendell, had eventually resented last week and let me sit in his spot. He now worked alone, the sole diligent student.

"I have to go home right after school," I lied.

"What for?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. That's what Kelly said though."

"Oh, alright then, we'll study now."

XxXxX

"Y'know that Saix isn't gonna give that dog back, right?" Axel mentioned. "He's obsessed with it."

"You're supposed to be helping me study," I complained. "I have a retake test tomorrow."

"Ok, ok," he muttered before reading the next problem out loud.

We were sitting in a corner of the library, pouring over my Geometry notes. The Rockwood High School library was huge and maze-like; tables were shoved in secluded spots, and the number of books was unfathomable. The table was an odd shade of purple and it sat alone, hidden from view by tall bookshelves. I already had problems concentrating (particularly with math) but it was worse now because it was the last hour of the day and sitting so close to Axel made my mind wander. Mr. Frijol, being the pushover he is, let us leave his class to "research evolution." Honestly, I didn't know what he was talking about, but I really need to focus on Geometry. I needed to focus on the parallelograms and squares and rectangles and other-numerous-shapes that were placed in front of me. I needed to focus on the properties and god knows what else. I can't be thinking about how there are only twenty, no nineteen, minutes until school's out. Until I can have some time to think, away from Axel. I was jittery and tense, still wondering what was wrong with me, and I couldn't stop thinking that if I moved a few inches to the left-

"Roxas?"

I jerked my head up, startled. "What?"

"You have to actually listen if you want to learn anything."

"Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?"

"You're hopeless."

"You can't give up on me after one day," I protested.

"I never said that. It seems like we're going to be spending _a lot_ of time in here."

"Maybe you should teach faster."

He flicked my forehead. "Maybe you should focus."

I bit my tongue. "You got me off topic."

"Ok, then." He leaned back in his seat, smirking. "How do you do number three?"

"Uh." I looked down at my paper. "You...do what you did to numbers one and two."

"How do you do numbers one and two?"

"You…" The notes Axel had written across the page still didn't make sense, no matter how many times I read through them. "I don't know. Why is this table purple?"

"See," he grinned triumphantly. "You don't want to focus. You're letting me distract you."

"But it's _purple_."

"Why are you suddenly so concerned about the table? Unless, you are, perhaps, avoiding the rest of the problems?"

"I am not."

"Sure, you're not, Roxie."

"I'm working," I griped.

"Really now?"

I shot him a sullen look and quickly picked up my pencil. "Yes, really."

Axel shrugged and watched as I tried to work. I gave up within minutes; my reason was "the bell's going to ring soon anyway."

"You're just proving my point," he said as I gathered my stuff together.

"You're the worst tutor ever."

"You refuse to learn. What hour do you have Geometry?"

"Third hour."

"Gotchya….awww, what am I going to do all night?"

"Homework?"

"I don't feel like it," he laughed. "I'm just so use to hanging out with you after school, I don't know what to do with myself anymore."

"Watch a movie."

"What movie?"

"I don't know."

We moved towards the library doors. "I simply cherish your advice."

"It's better than your advice."

"You wish."

The bell rang, and I only had to put up with the butterflies in my stomach until he dropped me off at my house.

No one was home. I grabbed a pear from the kitchen, noticing a pile of mail on the table. I flipped through the envelopes, stumbling upon a letter addressed to me. It was from Montana. Olette Reynolds, I read in the corner.

I tore it open in a heartbeat, and unfolded a clean sheet of paper.

Dear Roxas,

I am sorry that I have neglected to write until now. I feel like it has been ages since I last saw you, and in a way, that is very true. I must admit that I am writing this out of guilt and worry. How have you been? How are Sora and Riku? And your dad? And your stepmother?

When Kairi got back, she was even more upset, but she has gotten better. I can't believe she flew across the country for Sora. I mean, it was pretty obvious that he wasn't interested, wasn't it? Even when they first started going out, it was like they were friends. I think we see what we want to see sometimes.

Please write me back. We can talk about anything, ok?

Oh, and how I got your address: Kairi told me. You probably could have figured that out on your own. huh?

Love from your friend,

Olette

P.S. I'm sorry this is so short; I am writing this in a daze, and I want to send it to you as soon as possible.

P.P.S. You can call me, if you want, but, as you know, my parents won't let me talk for long. I think being pen pals sounds like more fun anyway. I've missed you so much!

I ran upstairs and got onto my laptop, pulling up a Word Document. I began to type, my fingers flying across the keys in my haste.

Olette-

I am doing fine. Why did you all-of-a-sudden decide to write me? I figured that you all hated me. I still have no idea what has been going on with Naminé, and Hayner, and everyone. It's confusing. Still. You know what's going on, don't you? I know I haven't tried calling or anything, but can't you tell me what's wrong? What did I do?

I can't remember when they first started going out. I didn't even know them then. It's hard to imagine that. Not knowing Sora, I mean. Do you know how annoying he is?

Ok, sorry. And you know that sounds really creepy, don't you? That you got my address from Kairi, I mean. And I am typing this because I know you'll tell me that I have really bad handwriting. I won't give you that opportunity.

What do you want to talk about?

-Roxas

P.S. I miss you too.

I printed it out to my dad's study. I headed down there, yanking the door open as the printer whirred to life.

To my surprise, my dad was sitting there at his desk, examining a piece of paper. I thought that he was still at work.

I stopped short and he looked up at me. "How was your day?" he asked pleasantly enough.

"Good," I said cautiously.

"I'm glad. Do you care to explain this?"

He held up whatever he was holding. The lighting was dim, and I couldn't see it. "What is-" I started.

"It's a letter from the school."

"Oh."

"Do you know what it says?"

"No."

"It says that you had an unexcused absence on December 4th."

That's when Axel pulled the fire alarm, I realized. "It's a large school, they can't keep track of us all," I tried to cover it up.

"I don't need your excuses."

"But I-"

"What would possess you to skip class?"

"I don't-"

"Roxas, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I-"

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

The words "I am sorry" almost poured out of my mouth; that would have been a mistake. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down as fear threatened to overtake me. "It won't happen again," I said.

"Words and actions are different things. Do I need to teach you a lesson?"

"N-No."

"What did you say?" he bellowed.

"No," I made my voice stop shaking. "Where…where's everyone?"

He ripped the paper up, standing up roughly. "This isn't about them."

A/N: I'm going on vacation! Hopefully I'll be able to update in about a week...this chapter is kinda weird (blame my friends) and it's one of those awkward transition type deals, which I dislike with a fiery passion. Haha, oh well, I shall say hi to King Mickey for all of you (DISNEY HERE I COME!).^-^

~KeedaxEmry


	23. Support

A/N: I'm sorry if the beginning makes you mad...you'll understand once you read it. I just couldn't bring myself to write it. :( At least not yet...

~KeedaxEmry

The week passed by slowly. Axel decided that my off-behavior was caused by stress over finals, and I wholeheartedly let him believe that. On Friday, after a horrible day of testing, I trudged home through the slush. It wasn't like I was going to accept a ride from Riku, and it wasn't like he was about to offer one, unless Sora prompted him to. Axel had to work, so he disappeared once the bell rang. He told me that he didn't want to be late. What a hypocrite.

"Hellooo, Roxas," Kelly greeted me.

I slammed the door behind me, kicking my wet shoes off. I began to go upstairs.

"Shouldn't you be at drama?" she asked when I was about halfway up.

"What?" I paused, confused.

"Rehearsals are from Monday to Friday, aren't they? When is the performance? And isn't Axel in it too?"

Oh yeah, I thought. Whenever I hung out with Axel after school, she thought that I was at drama. This was a particularly useful excuse when I got home past curfew. "It was cancelled," I said, climbing another step in an attempt to escape before she could say anything else.

"Muffin, I feel like we never get the chance to talk anymore. You're been so busy! I think that it would be a great idea for all of us to get together as a family and talk. It's the start of Christmas break, we should celebrate a little!"

"I'm tired."

"It'll be good for you."

"I'm tired."

"It will only take a few minutes."

I dragged my feet back downstairs and her face brightened. I followed her to the kitchen where she had me sit at the table. "So, how did finals go?" she asked, sitting across from me with a mug of apple cider.

"Ok," I muttered. I was pretty sure that I had passed all of them, except for Geometry. Despite Axel's help, or maybe because of it, I had fumbled through the problems, unsure of what I was doing. Spending a majority of my free time studying didn't seem to help.

"I remember taking finals in high school. I would spend all night pouring over my physics notes," she recalled fondly. "I always seemed to have one subject in particular that I struggled with no matter what. What about you? What class is the most challenging?"

"Geometry."

"Oh, really? Hmm, you should be really good at Algebra then."

I shrugged.

She took a sip. "They say that—"

She was interrupted as the door swung open, revealing Sora and Riku. Snow blew in from behind them, and Riku pushed the door shut. Kelly called them over.

Riku stopped in the doorway when he noticed me, and looked in my direction warily. Sora skipped over to us.

"What took you guys so long getting home?" Kelly wanted to know.

"We had to talk to the teacher," Riku replied.

"Care to join us?" she offered.

"Sorry, but we were going to go ice skating," Riku declined.

"Are you sure?" Kelly asked, discouraged.

"Yeah, they're having a special opening night." Sora bounced on the balls of his feet, grinning.

"Ooh. Is it that new ice skating rink on Washington Street?"

"Yeah! They're giving out free refreshments and there's going to be lights and music."

"That sounds wonderful! We should all go!"

"Even dad?" Sora asked, hopeful.

"He's busy, pookie."

"Aww."

"But the four of us can go," she suggested.

Riku and I started protesting at the same time; we glanced at each other, and abruptly stopped. I cleared my throat. "I don't want to go."

"Well..." Kelly bit her lip. "I certainly wouldn't want to leave you here all by your lonesome until Oscar gets home."

"I'll be fine," I said harshly.

"Roxas," Sora twirled around the table to my side, and poked my arm. "We'll all have so much fun!"

"I don't want to go." I stood up.

"You can invite Axel."

"No, thanks." I walked towards the doorway.

"Why don't you just invite your boyfriend over here so that Kelly can come with us?" Riku asked.

I stared at him for just a second, my stomach flopping over and my face flaring up like I had suddenly caught on fire, I pushed past him and raced upstairs to my room. I closed the door, locked it, and sank to the ground. The moment the word "boyfriend" reached my ears, my body went haywire and in my embarrassment, I had ended up here.

I pressed my back against the door, listening to my heart pound in my chest, as it rose and fell quickly with my uneven breaths.

"Roxas?" Kelly tapped the door.

"Go away!" I moaned.

She jiggled the handle. "Are you alright?...Roxas? May I come in?"

"I'm going to bed!"

"Don't you want to—"

"No!"

"Roxas, please open the door." She paused, and when I didn't respond, she added, "I'm not going to leave until you do."

I pushed myself up, and let her in. I sat on my bed, and she hovered in the hallway for a moment, then crossed the threshold.

She sat down next to me, folding her hands on her lap neatly. "Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

"Nothing's bothering me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." I glared at her.

"Sometimes, when two people have a strong connection, they—"

"I came up here to sleep, ok?"

"You do know that it's four o' clock, don't you?"

"I'm still tired."

"I want you to know that Axel's a fine young man and—"

"I'm going to bed."

"—it's quite normal to develop feelings for—"

"I'm going to bed."

"—especially for someone you already care about—"

"I'm going to bed."

"—regardless of everything else. Do you understand?"

"I'm going to bed," I said weakly.

"I will be nothing but supportive of your relationship with Axel," she said seriously, putting her hand on my shoulder as if I was a war veteran. "I think he'll prove to be a good influence and a caring boyfriend to say the least and—"

"We're not going out."

She didn't hear me. "And I know you'll make good decisions about—"

"We're not going out."

"—even if you're getting intimate, as long as you are being safe—"

"_We're not going out._"

"...you're not?" she blinked.

"No."

"Oh." She stopped. "Do you want to?" she added timidly.

I choose not to answer.

"It may be hard," she continued, "but being open with him is the best thing you can do. If you tell him how you feel—"

"Are you done?"

"Remember that Sora's my son and—"

"Leave. Me. Alone." I twisted my hands together, squeezing as hard as I could, just to have something to hold onto, just to try to calm myself down.

"Roxas, it's ok," she said firmly. "There is nothing wrong with being straight, or gay, or bi."

"I never said anything! You're just making assumptions!" I barked, the heat in my face now spreading across my ears and neck.

"If you want Axel to come with us to the ice—"

"I want to go to bed. Get out of my room."

"Just think about it, sweetheart." She shot me a small smile before retreating.

I relocked the door. For a while, I sat there, numb. I was torn with anger, embarrassment, and confusion. Did I like Axel? If not, why would I care if Riku called him my boyfriend?

I turned the TV on, staring at it blankly. Sora, then Kelly, tried to get me to eat dinner with them; it was all together too easy to pretend that they weren't there.

An hour later, I hadn't said a word, and it was worrying Kelly.

"Roxas, come downstairs to eat," she said. "Please?"

I ignored her.

"Honey, Axel's on the phone."

I couldn't help but blurt out, "What?"

"He wants to talk to you."

I swallowed, "I'll call him back."

"Ok...he'll call you back...yeah, I think so. Mmm-hmmm...I will," I heard her say. "Roxas? Axel says he needs to speak to you now. I'll push it under the door."

"Why, I'll just—" I started to protest, but she had already slid the phone under the door.

"Hello?"

"Hey there," Axel said. "Apparently you locked yourself in your room…?"

"What did she tell you?" I lowered my voice, guarded.

"She thought that I could help, somehow, to get you to go ice skating or something. And she said that you have something to tell me. I'm kinda in the middle of work, so I have to make this quick."

"I don't want to go ice skating."

"I figured."

"I don't know how she got your number...sorry..." I muttered.

"From Sora, probably. I think I'm suppose to coax you out of your room now. Why'd you lock yourself in there in the first place?"

Breathe. Don't think about it. "They were annoying me, that's all."

"Ah, I see. What were you going to tell me?"

"I don't know what she was talking about," I said quickly.

"Ok. You were probably going to tell me that tomorrow's the first day of break, and we should go make a life-sized gingerbread house," he teased.

"I don't think so."

I heard someone yell in the background, and Axel groaned. "I have to get off the phone."

"Ok, bye."

"Bye."

I opened the door and wordlessly handed Kelly the phone. She took it, beaming proudly.

"How'd it go?" she cooed. "If you want, I can stay here so that Sora and Riku, and you and Axel can go on a double date."

Mortified, I slammed the door in her face. "What'd I do?...Roxas?" she cried.

Someone-it sounded like Riku-convinced her to give me some space and they decided to do just that, heading to the grand opening. I waited, watching clouds drift past the moon and listening to them jostle around downstairs. I gazed past my balcony, my room darkening drastically whenever a veil covered the orb in the sky. It's amazing that a full moon can produce that much light, I thought. It's only reflecting the sun after all.

The front door clicked shut. I continued to sit there until I heard them drive away. Then, without any conscious thought or effort, I grabbed my laptop, laid on my bed, and turned it on. The blue screen greeted me and cast shadows across my dark room. A minute later, I was staring at a Google webpage.

Even though I felt really stupid, I typed in "how to tell if you like someone" and pressed search.

I clicked the first link, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. The sooner I get this out of my head, the better. The website contained an entire list, and whole paragraphs of descriptions for each. I began to read, scanning through anything that was in bold.

**Do you get a funny feeling in your stomach when you see the person?**

Yeah, I thought. But I had just assumed that I was sick...although that would mean that I got sick a lot...

** How many times a day do you think about this person? If they are pleasant thoughts that possibly make your heart beat faster, then you probably like them.**

...well...yeah, that one's hard to explain away...

** When you are around this person, you cannot concentrate.  
**

Obviously, although that is probably because I've been thinking about _this_. And I am an easily distracted person to begin with, so that doesn't really mean much.

** You might feel excited or nervous/embarrassed, almost hyper.**

Hyper? Who wrote this? And, besides, I am just excited to get away from my "family." That has nothing to do with Axel.

** Think about how you feel if you touch the person, on purpose or by accident. If you're still thinking about brushing hands days ago, you probably like them.**

In his car...I mean, that was horrible. He barely even touched me and yet...

That was all I needed. I couldn't, however hard I tried, brush this one aside.

As much as I hated to admit it, that wasn't normal. If anyone else had touched me like that, I wouldn't have cared. I _shouldn't_ have cared. He was my friend, he accidentally touched me, so what? And yet, I became flustered and embarrassed.

I like Axel, I thought.

Oh god, what am I going to do?

XxXxX

Christmas was a lavish event. It all blended in my head as a mix of opening presents, eating, and enduring Kelly and Sora's shenanigans, which included carols, storytelling, and other traditional crap like that. Everyone liked what I got them, or pretended to at least, and I could care less what they got me. A few CDs, clothes, books, but nothing specific.

The next day, I was sitting on my bed, trying to decided if I should call Axel or not. We had hung out every day, except for Christmas Eve and Christmas itself, despite my misgivings. I would get tongue-tied and flustered, and Axel would make it worse by teasing me about it. He said that the eggnog was getting to me. If only he could tell what I was really thinking.

I flipped my phone open, then closed it again. I haven't gotten him anything for Christmas yet, I thought. But I don't want to spend the day here.

"Can I come in?"

My door slowly creaked open, and Riku entered, closing it behind him. My dad had broken the lock, and now anyone could barge in whenever they felt like it. It sucked.

"Did I say you could?" I gripped, putting my phone away.

"Before you get defensive, listen," he growled, squaring his shoulders, "because I am trying to help you."

"I don't want—"

"I don't care if you want my help or not."

"I don't need your help."

"You obviously do. I know that you like Axel."

"I don't—"

"Seriously, shut up. Have you told him?"

"There's nothing—"

"Have you told him?"

"I said that—"

"I know that you don't trust me, but I know more about this then you do."

"Why are you trying to give me advice?"

"Because I feel sorry for you."

"That makes me feel better," I said dryly.

"You want to know how I did it?" He sat next to me.

"Did what?"

"Told Sora that I loved him," he said gently. "I did it as straightforwardly as possible. Just said it. Then I kissed him, but I'm not telling you to do that."

"Why is everyone doing this?" I cast my eyes down towards the carpet. "Kelly gave me a gay novel and a book of dating advice, for crying out loud."

"Because you're always in a bad mood, and this has been making it worse. The only solution is to go up to Axel and say it."

"I can't do that," I muttered dejectedly. "He's straight."

"How do you know that?"

"I…I…" Instead of coming up with a good answer, I bit my lip and he smirked slightly.

"Exactly. You don't. You can't know, unless you go talk to him."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

I shook my head.

"What's the worst that could happen? He doesn't return your feelings and you feel like an idiot? That's better than never knowing, and regretting it."

"How did you manage to…"

"Well, I was already pretty sure that he liked me, so it wasn't that hard...you just have to do it. Otherwise, it will continued to eat away at you. Were you going to hang out with him today?"

"Maybe. I need to get him a Christmas present though."

"What are you going to get him?"

"I don't know."

"Sora!" he called.

Sora skipped inside. He had apparently been outside my room this entire time. "What, Riku?" Sora slid onto his lap, smiling.

"What do you think Roxas should get Axel for Christmas?"

"Hmm. A puppy!"

"Sora, not everyone is special enough to get a puppy." Riku ran his finger along Sora's jaw line.

Sora giggled. "I love my Waggles."

"Ok, how about a…" Riku paused, thinking. "A gift card?"

"Riku!" Sora exclaimed. "That's a terrible idea! It's so unpersonal!"

"Impersonal," I said.

"That's what I said. You should get something he'll love. Or you could make him something," he nodded earnestly.

"Like…?"

"What does he like? I can tell you things I like. Games and music and food and—"

"I don't think—"

"Hey, you like to cook, don't you?" Riku cut in.

"Uh, sure."

"There you go!" Sora pulled his legs up onto Riku's lap. "Bake something for him."

"But what?" I stopped, and something occurred to me. "What if he doesn't get me anything? I'll look like—"

"Axel will get you something," Riku said firmly.

"A cake! Or cookies! Or brownies!" Sora listed.

"Ok," I said slowly.

"Maybe something more seasonal," Riku suggested.

"Like—"

My phone went off, and I opened it, feeling uneasy by the way they both watched me.

It was a text message from Axel. Who would have guessed. It actually _was_ surprising, but only because Axel hated texting; he said that it takes too much time, and that you can never tell what people are saying. This meant that someone else was around, or he was extremely bored or tired.

**Can I come over?**, I read.

"What is it?" Sora's head hobbled into view. I pushed him away, and he repositioned himself.

"A text," I said.

"From Axel?" Riku clarified.

I blushed. "Yeah."

"What'd he say?"

"He asked if he can come over."

"Ooooooh," Sora whispered. I wanted to clobber him. I restrained myself, like always, and clicked reply.

"What should I say?" I asked.

"Do you want to give him the present today?" Riku said.

"Well yeah."

"Tell him to come later."

"What am I going to make him?"

"You sure are clueless."

"Hey, you're—"

I stopped when my phone vibrated in my hand. Axel, impatient, had texted me another message that said: **Roxie? I'm bored.**

Ha, I was right, I thought briefly.

"What'd he say this time?" Sora pestered.

"Why are you in here?" I snapped.

"That's not very nice," he sniffed.

"Roxas, stop it," Riku warned.

"Yeah, whatever," I muttered. He continued to stare at me and Sora squirmed. "Ok! I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, irritated.

"Thank you," Riku said coolly.

"I forgive you," Sora smiled.

"So, what exactly am I going to make him?" I repeated.

"Something special."

"And Christmas related," Riku agreed.

I paused, thinking. "I know what I'll make."

"Really? What?" Riku and Sora said together. The difference between the two, however, was that Sora said it excitedly and Riku said it apathetically.

"My teacher use to bring in chocolate before Christmas break. You melt white chocolate in a pan, put crushed candy cane on top and let it cool. I think it's called candy cane bark. It's easy enough...is that good?" I said, unsure.

"Yeah," Riku shrugged.

"I want some!" Sora chimed.

**Come later**, I typed in reply.

"I need to get to the store," I stood up. They both looked up at me, making no move to follow me, fortunately. "Uh, thank you," I said earnestly, if a little awkwardly.

"I'll make sure everyone leaves you alone when Axel's here," Riku said knowingly.

"Ok," I bowed my head and scurried away. I've sunk to a new low, I thought. Accepting their help.

Kelly was more than happy to take me to the store, and I bought everything I needed. Once we got back, I busied myself with making it. Kelly had gotten me a small, green, paperboard box to wrap it in. I put the candy cane bark in it, folding the top closed before I told Axel that he could come over. I hid the box in my room, and went back downstairs.

When he showed up, I was glad to see that everyone had made themselves scare. Even Kelly. It was a Christmas miracle.

"Hi." My voice even sound sheepish to _me. _Damn, I cursed, holding the door open for him while hoping that I wouldn't somehow make a fool of myself.

"Hey." He yanked the mittens off his hands. "How was your Christmas?"

"Fine. Yours?"

"I got Luxord to kiss Larxene while he was drunk. She was pissed." He grinned.

"I bet. So, what do you want to do?"

"I dunno…" His eyes traveled around the room until they stopped at my face. "Hang out?"

"I guess."

We sat around in my room for a while, listening to music while I worked up the nerve to give him the present.

"Did Sora like the puppy?" Axel brought up.

"Of course," I smirked. "He cried."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"How did everyone else react?"

"Kelly was thrilled, my dad was not. And she gave this really long speech on responsibility…I bet in a week, everyone except Sora is going to want to get rid of it."

"Can't get it potty trained?"

I shot him a look. "She seems to especially like peeing in my room."

"If you shut the door, she won't."

"Well, Kelly came in last night while I was asleep to "check up on me" and accidentally left the door open. Besides the thing won't stop yapping."

He laughed. "Where is she? I bet the poor thing misses me."

"Probably in Sora's room. Do you want to know what Sora named her?"

"Why not?"

"_Waggles_."

Axel snorted. "Saix named her Chainsaw. He Is still going through withdraw, just to let you know."

"It's been a _day_. And he could have kept it."

"We wouldn't want Riku to get mad, now would we?"

"He'd only kill me, that's not that bad."

"No, not at all."

"Leave." Wow, blunt much? I squirmed in my seat just a little as confusion crossed his face.

"What?"

"Go downstairs. I have to give you something."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you! Geez. Now go."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Can't you give it to me here?"

"No. Leave."

"Whatever you say, Roxie, whatever you say," he finally obliged.

I grabbed the box, running my fingers over the smooth surface, acid bubbling up in my stomach. It's no big deal, I told myself, he won't care what it is. Soon I was shoving it in his hands, my head down.

He opened it, and promptly put a piece in his mouth. "Chocolate?"

"Yeah," I muttered.

He grinned, and continued to stuff his face. "Thanks."

"Don't eat it all."

"I don't want Xemnas to find it. He'll eat it all in one sitting and then I'll be left with an empty box."

"Roxas?" I heard Sora call from somewhere.

I groaned. "I'll be right back."

I found him in his room. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, playing tug-of-war with Waggles. She gave a little growl, and got a better grip onto the old sock they were using. Sora loosened his fingers slightly, his eyes lit up, and she quickly got the sock away from him. She had won, and was now triumphantly swinging it in the air. Sora scooted closer to her to begin the game all over again.

Riku was laying on his stomach near them, a thick textbook open up in front of him. "Did you tell him?" he asked me.

"He's still here!" I hissed.

He turned a glossy page. "So you haven't?"

"I can't if I'm up here listening to you."

He looked up at me sternly. "I'm sorry that I interrupted your date but—"

"It's not a date!"

"Let me finish. I know you're not going to tell him. Not today, not tomorrow. So I'm going to say it again: _tell him, Roxas_."

"If you'd stopped bugging me, I'd be able to."

"Besides," Sora said, cuddling Waggles, "think of how romantic it would be to confess your love to him during Christmas."

"You guys aren't helping," I stammered.

"Go tell him now, because if you don't, I will." Riku went back to reading, reminding me of Zexion.

"But..." I fidgeted, gathering courage to voice one of my biggest fears. "What if it scares him and he no longer wants to be friends?"

That earned me a cold gaze from Riku. "Then your friendship isn't worth it in the first place."

"Yeah!" Sora chimed in. "Friends stick together no matter what!"

"Now, go tell him," Riku demanded.

"Ok! God."

I tramped back to the living room where Axel was examining the ornaments on the Christmas tree. He flicked one, and it made a small ding noise. "You're going to break it," I chastised.

"Only if I want to."

"Axel, I…" The words immediately got caught in my throat and my face flushed.

"What?" he turned towards me, confused.

"I...I..." I sputtered. "I need to go do laundry," I added quickly.

"I have to get going anyway."

"Already?"

"Yes, already, because _someone_ wouldn't let me come over earlier."

"For the last time, I'm sorry."

He chuckled. "I'll see you later."

"Bye."

And with that, he was gone.

Sora, Riku, and Kelly asked me later about how it went...I said ok, and went up to my room before they could figure anything else out. I'm sure Riku had his suspicions, however, because he looked skeptical the entire time.

December 26th, 2009

Of course I couldn't tell him. I am never going to be able to tell him. To tell Axel that I like him. Even typing it is almost too hard to do, so how am I suppose to _say _it? Who was I kidding? I barely got two words out! He would probably be creeped out. He wouldn't want to be friends with me after that, and I don't blame him. Even if we started…dating, he would graduate in May and leave. And would we make it public? We'd become outcasts. Well, maybe not. People at school seem to be ok with Riku and Sora. The girls, at least. It would be better if I forgot about it and let things go back to the way they were. It was easier then. I wasn't so self conscious and Kelly, Sora, and Riku weren't bugging me as much...Being friends was good enough. It is still good enough.

That certainly didn't work out the way I had planned. I stopped typing for a moment, and my eye caught on something on my nightstand. It was a note from Axel. He had somehow managed to leave it there without me noticing. I snatched it, my body urgently reminding me that what I felt for Axel was not normal. All it said was: Meet me outside at five. -Axel


	24. Resolve

Outside? What's that suppose to mean?

I jerked, startled, as something hit the balcony door. I closed my laptop, threw the note aside, and open the door swiftly. A rock panged off the glass, narrowly missing me by inches.

"Sorry!" Axel let his arm drop, grinning sheepishly. He was standing there, a black guitar case strung over his back, and his breath colorless swirls in the cold air.

"What are you doing?" I asked, partially in my room so that I wouldn't freeze.

"Delivering something."

"Where did you find rocks?" I looked around at the layer of snow.

"The elves generously donated them to me."

"Ok, then." I rolled my eyes.

"Come down here."

"Can't you come up here?" I groaned.

"If you insist."

He shot me that smile, and then he was standing next to me. He made climbing up the side of my house look easy. "What? How…did…" I blinked.

"Aren't you going to invite me inside?" he smirked.

I silently stepped back to let him enter. I guess if Sora can get up there, I thought, anyone can.

He set the guitar case on my bed. I grabbed my laptop in the next second, putting it off to the side as the little blinking lights reminded me that it was still on, and if Axel happened to open it he could read every embarrassing word. That was close, I sighed in relief while Axel unzipped the case.

He pulled out an acoustic guitar, sat on the side of my bed, and strummed a few chords. He named some of the notes as he played. I scooted closer, transfixed, when his fingers slid over the strings and began a song I knew vaguely. It was Greensleeves.

He stopped in the middle, looking up at me. "I can teach you how to play."

"Really?" I asked eagerly.

"Sure," he shrugged. "Demyx will let you burrow this."

He held it out to me, and I took it, sat down next to him, and placed it in my lap. I plucked the lowest string, listening to it ring. "I know it really doesn't count as a gift," he began.

"Are you kidding me? I've always wanted to play guitar." I couldn't help but smile.

"I remember you saying that the first day you went to school here," he admitted, looking, for some reason, flustered.

"I did?"

"Yeah, don't you remember?"

"No." I shook my head.

"I didn't know if you wanted to play acoustic or electric, but Demyx told me that it's better to start off with an acoustic."

"This is his?"

"Yeah. Maybe we can convince him to let you keep it. He has enough guitars as it is…he found this one shoved in the attic. He didn't even bother to take it with him when he was adopted."

"Oh…"

"Shit," he muttered.

"What?"

"It's starting to get dark outside." He glanced meaningfully towards my balacony, a sour look on his face.

"You have to go?"

"Yep. No one knows that I left. But first..."

He grabbed the guitar, his hands brushing mine and making me freeze and blush like crazy; he didn't appear to notice.

He showed me a simple exercise I could work on, playing in steps and gradually increasing the speed. Then he stood up. "Do you think it would hurt if I jumped off your balcony?" he asked.

"It would be stupid. Normal people use the front door."

"But Kelly will harass me if I go down there."

"Probably."

"Besides, that's not as much fun."

He ran, and I followed. Instead of jumping, he quickly pulled himself over the railing and half climbed, half slid, down. When he got to the ground, he straightened, and waved to me. "Bye, Roxie!"

"Bye."

"Merry Christmas!"

XxXxX

"I have to go pick something up at Borders. Wanna come with?"

"I'm already in your car," I pointed out.

"And so you are," Axel smiled. "Tomorrow's New Year's Eve."

"Yeah."

"Xemnas is going to have a party. It's just going to be us." I automatically knew that he meant Organization 13 when he said that. "You can come, although it'll probably be a drag. We usually don't stick around with the adults, but we have nothing better to do. They're going to be watching the ball drop at Times Square."

"Sounds good," I agreed.

"Maybe we can pull a few good pranks while we're at it," he added slyly.

"Ok, what drug are you most likely to try?"

"Worried?" His grin broadened mysteriously.

"Not really. It's for Truth."

"Ok, does alcohol count?"

"No."

"Then LSD."

"Why?"

"The hallucinations. Would you rather murder someone or get murdered?"

"Get murdered. That's better than life in jail. Would you rather get mauled by a bear or electrocuted by an eel?" I strummed the window with my fingers idly.

"Bear. Hmm would you rather jump off a cliff or drink bleach?"

"Drink bleach. Would you rather freeze to death or be buried alive?"

"Buried alive. Why are we talking about death?"

"I don't know. You brought it up."

"Let's talk about something happier." He reached over to open the vents and warm air began to blow onto my face.

"What, are you afraid of freezing to death?"

"Think about it: you slowly get colder and colder. Your heart rate decreases and walking becomes almost impossible. Your organs start failing—"

"Ok, what do you want to talk about?"

"Waffles, french toast, and pancakes."

"You are weird." I shook my head.

"That's what makes me so special."

"What is there to say about waffles, french toast, and pancakes?"

"They're good."

"And?"

"That's about it."

"Exactly," I muttered.

"Ok, point made. Who's turn is it?"

"Um, mine? I think."

"Ok. Go."

"If you had twenty-four hours left to live, what would you do?"

He was quiet for a moment before he said, "I would—"

A ringing interrupted him, and he pulled his phone out. "Hello?" he answered. I watched as his eyes narrowed, and his smile became a deep frown. "Why are you calling me?...No, I'm going to Borders...Yeah...I'm already driving there...I don't care if you're bored...Well, I don't...What if I am?...Ok, then. Bye." He hung up, annoyed.

"Demyx?" I asked.

"Yep. Who else?"

"What were we talking about?"

"I don't remember."

"We're almost there anyway."

"True."

We pulled into the parking lot and got out. The front of the store was filled with stands displaying Harry Potter merchandise and clearance baskets. A coffee-shop seemed to take up more space then the books themselves.

I followed Axel around for a few minutes as he scanned the bookshelves. "What are you looking for?" I finally asked.

"Will Pederson. P-E-D-E-R-S-O-N. It just got in," he replied, running his finger across a row.

I tried to help him look, but I couldn't find it anywhere. This Borders was enormous, and I had to sing the ABCs to remember the order, which only made it that much harder. Axel couldn't seem to decide what section it would be in; we walked through most of the genres, passing other shoppers who seemed to mostly consist of old people who shot us dirty looks as we walked by them for the third or fourth time.

Axel bent down, examining a lower shelf. I turned to my left, entering the next aisle, bored. I had long since given up on helping him.

Zexion was standing there, a book propped open in his hands. He glanced up dully. Upon seeing me, he closed the book, and tucked it under his arm. "Hello Roxas," he said.

"Hi Zexion."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about something."

What could Zexion possibly want to talk to me about? "Um, ok. What is it?"

"It's about Axel."

"He's," I lowered my voice, "right over there." I pointed to the bookshelf—Axel was only about two feet away.

"I really could care less because—"

"Hey, do you have—" Axel appeared and broke off when he saw Zexion. "Can I borrow a dollar?" he asked him instead.

"No," Zexion said flatly.

"Roxas?"

"I don't have any money with me." I shook my head.

"I need one more dollar to buy the stupid thing. Damn it, we'll have to come back. C'mon," Axel said.

"One second," Zexion said to me once Axel vanished towards the entrance. I'm sure he thinks I'm following him, I thought, turning back to Zexion.

"Yeah?"

"Axel likes you."

"W-What?" I stuttered, taken aback.

"He—"

"Roxas?" Axel came back. "Like I said, I need to go grab money. Are you ok?"

I was staring down at my feet awkwardly, ignoring the odd sensation that was wrapping around me. Axel looked confused, and Zexion seemed angry.

"He's fine," Zexion said resolutely. "Roxas can stay here with me and wait."

He looked at me steadily until I said, "Yeah, I, uh, want to look around some more."

"We're coming back," Axel said. "How'd you get here, Zexion?"

"Saix drove me," he replied.

"Is he still here?"

"No, I was going to call him later."

"I can give you a ride home," Axel said readily.

"That's not necessary."

"Are you sure? It would save him the trip," he said between clenched teeth, all the while glaring at Zexion, who shot him a cold look.

I fidgeted. What the heck is going on?

"Yes. It'll be good for him to get out of the house some, don't you agree?" Zexion, for some reason, smirked.

"Sure. Well, suit yourself," he shrugged. "Roxas, you coming?"

"Um," I glanced at Zexion. "Yeah."

We left and by the time we got back, Zexion was gone.

He called me that night when I was already asleep. I pressed my phone to my ear, expecting it to be Axel.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"I'm sorry I called so late. Axel 'accidently' broke my phone," Zexion explained.

"He did what?"

"Broke my phone. Then he was guarding me all night, not letting me leave."

"Why would he do that?" I sat up in bed, fighting the stupor that attempted to pull me under.

"Listen," he said, his voice suddenly becoming urgent. "Meet me at Sixth Street, at Café del Sol."

"What—"

He hung up on me. I closed my phone, unable to leave the warmth my blankets provided. The house was still and quiet, and the extra medication I had taken tried to rock me back to sleep. Of course it had taken me forever to fall asleep in the first place, but now that I wanted to get up…

I closed my eyes, the temptation too great.

Wait a second, I thought suddenly, prying my eyes back open. Doesn't Zexion want to talk to me about Axel? He said that Axel likes me...but can I believe that? Zexion doesn't seem like the type to meddle in other people's business, so why...?

My heart pounded, and I got out of bed, putting my shoes on and grabbing a jacket. There was only one way to find out.

I pushed my door open gently, staring out into the pitch black hallway. How was I going to get there? I couldn't walk—it was freezing outside, and I don't even know where Sixth Street is. Kelly and Riku were my only options...if I woke Kelly up, my dad would surly wake up as well, and that wouldn't be good...

I tiptoed down the hall, running my hand across the wall as a guide. When it vanished, I knew I was at Sora and Riku's bedroom.

I knocked softly, anxious. I waited, and the silence weighted down on my ears. I clutched the handle, taking several, careful seconds to twist it. Once the latch fell out of place, I stepped closer, and slid the door open a hair at a time. I stood there, the door ajar, looking into another sea of black.

Still, there wasn't a hint of sound; no whisper, no rustling of blankets.

"Riku?" I croaked, my voice hardly audible.

Nothing.

"Riku?" I tried again, slightly louder.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when he appeared, a scowl on his face and his hair disheveled. Sora was behind him, his fingers wrapped around Riku's hand; he rubbed his eyes, still half asleep. "What is it, Riku?" he asked.

"Go back to bed," Riku murmured, letting go of him.

Sora obliged, and Riku asked, "What are you doing?"

"I need a ride," I said.

"It's almost midnight," he said, irritated.

"I know, but I need to go to Café del Sol."

"Why in the world—"

"To meet Zexion."

"Tell him you'll go when normal people are awake."

"I need to go now."

"I am not going to drive you there. Get your own ride. With Axel or someone."

"It's about Axel. Please, Riku," I begged, despite how much I hated it.

"Why should I?" he snapped, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Please! Zexion told me that Axel likes me and—"

"He said what?"

"That Axel likes me."

"Don't get your hopes up," he sighed. He disappeared for a moment, and came back with his keys.

"Where are you going?" I heard Sora's worried voice.

"I'll be right back," he reassured. "Roxas needs to go hook up with Axel."

"_I am not_—"

"Oh! I'm very happy for..." Sora trailed off, and his breathing became slow and deep.

I shot Riku a questioning look, and he shrugged, saying, "He's pretty tired."

He left the room, and I followed. "Um, aren't you going to be cold?" I asked as we hopped into his truck. Even with a jacket, my body was tempted to shiver. Riku was wearing a pair of shoes, and sweatpants, but no shirt. A shark tooth necklace rested on his bare chest.

"It doesn't bother me."

In fact, once the heater kicked in, it was toasty warm.

It felt weird to be sitting there with him, just the two of us. It was surreal, actually, and it didn't help that I was tired; it made it seem like a dream, or a distant memory.

"How am I suppose to get back?" I voiced after a while.

"That's your own problem."

"And if my dad or Kelly find me gone?"

"I don't know."

"You'll tell them where I am?"

"Probably."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Don't get the wrong idea. I really, really don't like you. You have an attitude and a mouth to match. Don't think I'm going to keep doing favors for you, because, no, I am not going to do that. I can relate to the whole Axel thing, and I know that this is what Sora would want me to do. But if things don't work out—for the love of god, don't take it out on the rest of us. And if you ever make Sora cry again, I will personally rip your throat out."

There were the threats I was expecting. "Ok," I said simply.

He slowed to a stop. "Don't screw it up," he said as I got out.

The place was empty. I had to wait until a woman emerged from a room hidden behind the counter. "Good evening, sir. Are you…Roxas?" she asked, consulting her notepad.

I nodded, and she led me past the bar and into a separate room.

"He's right over there," she said before leaving.

Zexion had saved us a booth in the corner of the restaurant. I sat across from him and watched as he put his book away.

"This place stays open all night," he said. "It is very convenient."

"Ok?"

"Again, I'm sorry I woke you up in the middle of the night to get you here. Axel has made it impossible for me to say anything to you."

"It's ok."

A young woman in her twenties strode up to our table, her heels smacking on the ground. "My name is Stacy and I'll be your server tonight. Whadda ya havin?" she asked, entirely too perky.

"Just water," Zexion said. I nodded in agreement, and she came back with a pitcher and two glasses, setting them down with a wink.

"Try not to drink too much, boys," she said before departing.

"So, Roxas." He poured water into both glasses. The ice clicked and the water almost spilled over the side. He stopped pouring just in time, setting everything back down. "Axel has liked you for some time. It's been getting on everyone's nerves, the way he won't shut up about you," he rolled his eyes.

"Really?" I asked meekly.

"Really," he said flatly. "You couldn't tell?"

"No."

"Do you like him?"

I glanced around; he saw the movement and said, "There's no one around to hear you."

"Yeah," I muttered. "I like him," I forced myself to say, a part of me wishing I could just sink into the ground and disappear, along with all my embarrassment. At the same time, it sent a small thrill through my spine, having finally voiced it. _I like Axel, _I thought, hiding a smile.

"You know that when I say that, I don't mean you like him as a friend."

"I know."

"Good. You are both so oblivious, which is why you were going to get nowhere. I kept telling him to talk to you you, but he was so sure that you weren't interested and he kept stopping me from doing anything. It has been extremely annoying."

"That sounds like me and Riku," I admitted.

"Does it? Hmm, would you go out with Axel?"

"Uhh yeah."

"I told him so," he said to himself, sounding frustrated.

"What now, Zexion?"

He looked up at me. "I could tell him that you like him—but, no, he either wouldn't believe me or he wouldn't have the back bone to talk to you about it."

"We talk about everything."

"That may be so, but he is very guarded about these things. If I didn't know him so well, I don't think anyone would know what's going on."

"Oh…did he end up telling you? How do you know he likes me?"

"He came home after hanging out with you one day, and he was in a really good mood. So I asked him, and he ended up telling me."

"Are you sure? I mean—"

"Positive. I think the only way this will ever work out is if you do it."

"Do what?"

"Ask him out, tell him that you like him, whichever."

"I…can't," I said dejectedly. "I've tried, but…"

"If he won't, you have to. Are you nervous or something?"

"Yeah...I don't know...I can't just...I've never done this before, except with Naminé."

"Naminé?"

"Yeah, she use to be my girlfriend. Even then, she's the one who practically asked me out."

"Oh. What are you afraid of? Axel is going to be thrilled."

"How do you know?"

"Roxas, if I didn't know, I wouldn't be telling you this," he sighed, annoyed.

"Yeah…" I fidgeted at the very prospect of asking Axel out. "What if he's not ready?"

"Ready for what? I think he's more than ready."

"Well...I'll try."

"Tell him tomorrow."

"At the New Year's Eve party you're having?"

"Sure," he said, indifferent.

"Ok."

"Do you want to practice? I'm Axel. Go ahead."

"Um, hi Axel."

"Hi Roxas."

"I...this is weird, Zexion."

"As long as you tell him tomorrow," he took a sip of water.

"Does it have to be tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because this should have happened weeks ago."

"I guess."

"You're not sure about any of this, are you?"

"Not really."

"Well, if you're happy with the way things are now, that's your choice. Nothing will ever happen."

"Yeah...I don't know. It seems like everyone is trying to get us together. We should do it on our own."

"Yes, exactly. But you're not going to do it on your own. You're both too shy for your own good."

"I'm not that shy."

"Then call him now and tell him."

"Now?"

"Uh-huh."

"…what do I say?"

"Whatever you want to say."

"He's probably asleep."

"So?"

"He'll get mad." I gestered around with my arms, exasperated.

"Not if you tell him why you're calling."

"I thought we agreed on tomorrow."

"The sooner, the better."

"I don't want you to watch me."

"Just admit that you're shy."

"Ok, yeah, but you'd be too."

"Fair enough. Are we done here?"

"Sure. I don't know how I'm going to get home."

"I'll call for a ride. So you're going to tell him tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"And what are you going to tell him?"

"Um that I like him."

"Is that how you're going to say it?"

"No?"

"You'd better not."

"Ok, Zexion."

We got a ride with Saix; he didn't seem happy about it, but he didn't say anything either.

That night, my dreams were a tangle of confusion. When I woke up, the only part I could remember vividly was Axel grabbing my hands and saying that he had something to tell me. I waited expectantly, and as he was about to tell me, sunlight filled my eyes, dragging me into reality.

All day, I paced in my room, nervous. I obsessively combed my hair, then sat on the edge of my bed, then checked the time. After I did this for a while, I made the decision to go over there early. It was only eight o' clock at night, and the party was set to start at nine. I told Axel that Kelly would drive me over there, because he was always giving me rides. Besides, that would give me more time to clear my head and to think about what I was going to say.

I am going to tell him, I thought, grabbing my coat. Right when I see him. And everything will work out—

I ran my fingers through my hair. I will tell him, I tried to convince myself. Who knew this would be so hard? I wasn't even there yet and my hands were shaking and my heartbeat was rapid. Just the thought of going up to him and saying "Axel, I like you" made me edgy. I had already imagined this scenario a thousand times throughout the day, but I found it running through my mind again.

He would take what I said very lightly. "Oh, I like you, too, Roxie. You're a bundle of joy."

At first that would make me hopeful, but then I would realize that he was teasing me. "No, Axel, I _like_ you," I'd say.

"What? That...you're kidding, aren't you?"

"No," I would find myself muttering, staring at the ground.

"That's freaking disgusting...uhhh what made you think that I was a fag?"

"I…don't…know…"

"I have to go."

"Go where?"

"Just go. I, um, have to go help Xaldin with something."

I pushed the image of his face twisted in repulsion away, knowing that if I kept thinking things like this, I would never have the courage to even bring up the subject.

I retied my shoes, and brushed my shirt off for no apparent reason, sighing heavily.

I flipped the light switch and left my room.

"Kelly! I'm ready to leave!" I called through the house. Where was she?

I found her in the bathroom putting a pair of glittering earrings in. Her and my father were attending a party that my dad's colleague put together; Riku and Sora were going as well. Kelly was wearing a black dress and was now spraying perfume onto her neck.

"Give me a few minutes," she said.

"Can we go now?"

She swept her hair to the side. "Hold on, buttercup."

"I'm late."

"I thought it was later..."

I followed her as she went into the room she shares with my father. She sat on the edge of the bed, wedging her feet into high heels.

"Come on," I said impatiently.

"Ok, I'll have to get ready later. Honey?"

"Yes?" My dad emerged from their walk-in closet. He held up two ties. "Which one?"

"Hmm." She pointed to the one on the left. "I'll be right back, I just have to run Roxas over to Axel's house." She pranced over to him and kissed his cheek.

"We should all leave at the same time," my dad said.

"Well, Roxas needs to leave now."

"He can wait. Now..." He put the tie on, tightening it. "How do I look?""

"Splendid, Oscar. I think the..."

I left, knowing that there was no way I could sway him. A part of me wanted to leave immediately, and another part of me wanted to delay it for as long as possible. I'll just get it over with as soon as possible, I thought, sitting on the couch to wait.

Eventually everyone was ready to leave. I buckled my seatbelt, biting the edge of my tongue, nervous beyond belief. It was the shortest car ride in my life, and we were there before I had the chance to compose myself. I fought the heavy weight that tried to concrete me to the seat, and pried myself out of the car.

"Have a good time," Kelly smiled.

"See you in 2010!" Sora exclaimed.

I closed the door. A few tiny steps to the house were not enough to separate me from my nerves. I took a deep breath, praying that Axel wouldn't be the one to open the door—

"Good evening."

I let it out, relieved to see Xemnas.

Inside, the adults were gathered around, sipping from cocktail glasses as they watched coverage from New York City; Xaldin stared straight ahead, and Luxord was trying to get Saix to laugh at some joke.

Xemnas glided over to them. "Everyone is upstairs," he explained, sitting down.

It was silent when I got up the stairs. There was no sign of anyone, and every door was closed. I took no notice of this, and went to Axel's room, pushing the door open. I didn't bother to knock, or to call out. Any other time, I would have. But my mind was too focused on what I was going to say when I saw Axel.

As luck would have it, I wouldn't even get that far.

Larxene and Axel were pressed against each other directly in front of me. I could only see Larxene's back and the top of Axel's head, but it was obvious what was going on. Larxene's head was tilted back, inclined towards Axel's, which could only lead me towards one possible conclusion: they were kissing. I never had a chance.

A/N: Sorry for the wait. (And for the whole Axel-is-only-there-to-give-Roxas-a-guitar thing. I'll let you in on a little secret: Axel is a gigantic coward if you know what I mean ;D) I found this new anime, and it was very very distracting to say the least. The next chapter is gonna be fun to write. :)

~KeedaxEmry


	25. Reality

I froze. Larxene's high-pitched, shrill giggle brought me back to my senses. I turned and ran. Down the stairs, through the living room, and out the door. The adults had looked up at me, confused, and I think they might have tried to stop me, but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear was that giggle.

My legs carried me faster than I thought possible. The crisp air burned my lungs, and my muscles felt like they were tearing; I was probably close to passing out-spots shrouded my vision momentarily as my feet pounded on the concrete-but I kept at it, even as my nerves cried out in pure agony, and a sour, disgusting liquid rose in my throat. Still, none of that could compare to the feeling that was spreading outwards from my chest. It was beyond description…like a knife was cutting my torso wide open, and someone was throwing acid in there, laughing as my organs smoldered and the pain threatened to choke me. But a thousand times worse. This only made me pick up the pace. I never knew I could run like this, I thought, watching the streets flew only thing I could focus on was the fact that I had to get away. As far away as possible.

My footsteps became harsher and heavier as my body began to drag. I let my feet fall, allowing gravity to do most of the work. It jarred my legs painfully, but it made it so that I was able to keep sprinting. It was ok, though, because I had managed to get back to my house. I slowed to a steady jog, panting like a deranged maniac.

I didn't stop until I reached my room. The dark house made it impossible to see anything, especially because the sky was vacant—no moon, no stars. Or maybe that was just how I saw it. But, for whatever reason, there wasn't even a slight glimmer of light. Despite this, I found my way up the stairs and down the hall with virtually no problems; I was accustomed to this stupid house, which only made me feel sicker.

It's amazing how quickly one bad thought snowballs into an endless number of them. Tears stung my eyes, and I had broken whatever was in my hands...oh, it was a picture frame my dad had given me...I had thrown it at the wall, and scooped some of the shattered glass in my hands, like I was wondering how it had gotten there in the first place.

I dropped it. What was the point? Seeing Axel with that slut...in her tight jeans and hot-pink tank top...tilting her head up...her bangs still gelled back in that ridiculous hairstyle...it made me realize a lot of things. Axel never liked me. Whoever told me differently was now snickering with laughter at the fool they had made out of me. Axel had given me something to look forward to. I mean, whenever I was with him, I didn't have to think about anything besides what was happening right then and there. He had this uncanny ability to make me feel...I don't know, he just made everything more bearable somehow. He was always listening me and picking up on things I _didn't_ say. He was the only one who didn't look at me like I was a poor child whose mother died. Although, at the same time, he didn't expect me to cope and move on automatically...so that's why I thought, just maybe—

No. He doesn't care. He never did. I had deluded myself, since he obviously would rather be making out with Larxene in his room when he thinks I'm not around. How can I blame him? I'm worthless. I screw everything up. My own father is ashamed of me.

Because of how much of a _disappointment_ I am.

And you know what? He has every right to feel that way. I can't deal with my own problems; I struggled with every aspect of my day; I can't grow up and I can't accept anything...not my mom dying, not Kelly trying to help me out, not my dad struggling to make our family function. I managed to accept that I like Axel as something more than a friend...and look at how that turned out. I don't want to live through this. Never again.

As soon as the idea occurred to me, I couldn't see how I hadn't thought of it before. It was so plain and simple—best of all, it made absolute sense. My life held no meaning. If I was gone, everyone would benefit; my dad's biggest regret would be gone, Kelly's family would become whole, happy, perfect...Riku wouldn't have to deal with me upsetting Sora and Sora would evidently cry a lot less...I wouldn't get in Axel and Larxene's way...

All this agony would go away forever.

I stumbled to the bathroom, turning the light on with a swipe of my hand. I opened the medicine cabinet, and pulled the bottle of sleeping pills out. I shut the door, beginning to twist the cap off. Once I was staring down into it, I couldn't bring myself to go any further. I sank to the floor, still clutching onto the bottle. I had never been so sure of anything else in my life—and yet there I was, sitting on the cool, tiled floor, the pills safely in their container.

My phone brought me out of the haze I had fallen into. I took it out, the caller ID informing me that it was Axel. I set it down next to me, with no intention of answering it.

I don't know how long I sat there. Axel kept calling, and I kept letting it ring. When the ringing finally receded, and my phone fell silent...that was when I poured the bottle out onto my hand. The small, blue mound felt good piled on my palm like that. I didn't put them in my mouth just yet. I thought about everything. From my parents, to Naminé, to Axel...all of it. It was never going to get better. How had I not seen that before?

I hate my dad. I hate _Kelly_ and Sora and Riku. Truthfully, I hate my life. Axel made me feel….different. Like I mattered, like I had something to give to this world. When I was around him, everything else fell away, and I wasn't this empty shell of a human being. He made me _happy_. I thought I did the same to him, but maybe that was just wishful thinking because, in the end, I am the person no one likes to be around. I am the mistake, the reason why everything went wrong. Axel finally figured that out...he doesn't deserve me. He deserves much, much better.

I pulled my knees to my chest, tears burning my eyes and making me suffocate. I can't take this anymore. I can't.

"Roxas?"

I looked up slowly, afraid of what I was going to see. Axel's face was panic-struck, and his eyes were locked on my hands, where there was enough benzodiazepine to kill us both.

"Roxas?" he repeated, taking an uncertain step into the bathroom. "Please tell me you didn't."

His voice was shaking; I had scared him. Good, a part of me thought. Another part, the larger portion, felt guilty, but I couldn't bring myself to speak.

He bent down in front of me, gently taking the bottle from me and sweeping the pills into his own hands. He dumped them back to where they belong, and screwed the top on securely, the grinding noise of the plastic ridges the only sound for a moment. I was too numb to stop him. I didn't know what was going to happen next, and I didn't even bother to think about it.

"Xemnas told me that you stopped by, then ran out. I tried calling," he glanced pointedly at where my phone was laying, "then I left to find you. What happened? What's wrong?"

"I saw you guys," I said simply. I stood up, and went back to my room, not wanting to face Axel and his questions.

"What? Who?" He followed me.

"The two of you." I pressed my back against the far wall, in-between the balcony and the bathroom, and slid down until I was sitting. The rectangular light spilling out from the bathroom made everything else seem darker.

He bent his knees until we were at eye level. I could tell that he was being very careful because of my "delicate" state or whatever you'd call it. He paused for a moment before saying anything. "The two of you? Roxas, you're not making sense," he said, genuinely confused.

"You and Larxene."

"What about her?"

"You were kissing."

Axel's eyes narrowed in thought, as if he was focused on something way off in the distance. "...you saw that?" he finally said perplexedly.

"Yes, I saw that!" I exploded; tears filled my eyes and quickly ran down my cheeks.

"You don't understand," he shook his head. "She's the one who kissed me. She was just Larxene being Larxene. I thought you'd be use to it by now..."

His eyes tried to meet mine, and I could tell that he was starting to piece it together. I turned my head away, even though that was essentially useless, because my vision was already blurry. And I was past being embarrassed, or at least, that's what I thought. I turned away nonetheless.

"She likes making me uncomfortable like that. It's her job," he continued, clueless. "Don't let it bother you."

"That's not what bothered me."

"It's not?"

"She was kissing you."

"Yeah?"

"You two didn't even notice me."

"I was a little preoccupied."

I was quiet for a moment, and he continued to try to gain eye contact.

"I was going to tell you..." I started. I stopped and swallowed.

"Tell me what?"

"That...I like you, ok?" I blurted out.

"You...were?" he asked blankly.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Roxas," he sort of sighed. "That's what this is about?"

"Yeah," I muttered, angry at his response.

He sat down, his legs crossed. "Maybe you should go read that letter."

"Letter? What letter?"

"That I gave to you over Thanksgiving break."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just go get it."

I fished it out. I sat back down, and he gestured at me to open it. I read it through once, then twice, shocked.

Dear Roxas,

I don't know why I'm writing this because I'll never give it to you. A blow to the back of my head just made me remember: I am doing this because Zexion insists that it will help. Like hell it will. Ha, now he's storming away.

Ok, how should I put this? For some reason, I can't stop thinking about you. You said the funniest thing today, although I doubt you'll remember. You're so forgetful. Did you know that, Roxie? Probably, since I am constantly reminding you.

I'm getting off track here. The point is that I think I'm falling in love with you. I take that back; I know. I also know that you don't think of me in that way. You still like that chick...uh, Naminé? Yeah, that's it. I kinda want to meet her, she must be pretty amazing. At the same time I think if I ever met her, I would end up punching her in the face. Ok, you wouldn't like me saying that, sorry! On second thought, you'll never read this, so I can say whatever I damn well please. What does she look like, I wonder? She isn't lanky and I bet she doesn't have red hair. She probably has that perfect hour-glass figure, and she probably wears cute little skirts and light make-up. Yuck.

I'm not writing this to insult Miss. Naminé, the-perfect-and-incredibly-nice-girlfriend-of-Roxas, I swear. Scratch that; ex-girlfriend. God I'm getting all jealous over nothing. What I have been trying to say is this: only an insane fool like myself would go and fall in love with you. Not that you aren't amazing, and funny, and whatnot, it's just you don't need a relationship right now. You have enough shit going on, why would I want to put more stress on you? I've had my suspicions that you are bi. Zexion tells me to trust my instinct, to go for it, to tell you what's on my mind...but how can I? Especially when I see you smirking in disgust at Sora and Riku. Especially when you start crying, and when I can tell that you are hiding something from me. But you won't tell me, and I have to pretend that I don't notice. I can't stand it, seeing you like that. I wish you would tell me...but maybe that is asking too much. It just isn't fair. Damn it...why did the world go and fuck your life up? It makes me want to tear my room apart then go out and find someone to blame, and kick that person's ass. You know that only too well.

Urggg, Zexion's back. I will document this conversation just for you, Roxie.

Zexion (reading over my shoulder): Good, keep going.

Me: It's already really long.

Zexion: That doesn't matter. Write down whatever you are thinking about. It's an actual genre of writing called stream-of-conscousness. You spelled "consciousness" wrong; it has an—

Me: I know. It's not my fault you talk too fast.

Zexion (being the critical person he is): You don't have to write what I'm saying. It has no relevance.

Me: What if Roxas is wondering why I'm writing my thoughts down like a stupid prick?

Zexion: Such language. Did Naminé make you that mad?

Me: I'll have you know that I am not pissed because of her, but because you gave me extra homework that will get me nowhere.

Zexion: Once you get your thoughts in order, you can tell him—

Me: What is there to tell him? Hey, Roxas, guess what I'm a—

Zexion (sternly, like he's my mother or something): Axel!

Me: What?

Zexion: Calm down...and I'm not your mother.

Me: That's how you're acting.

Zexion: Would you rather talk to Xemnas or Saix about this?

Me: No, thank you. Although I don't want to be talking to you either.

Zexion (rolling his eyes): I can't wait until you go to Roxas to talk to instead of me.

Me: Sure, sure.

Zexion (ignoring me): So you can tell him about how cute he looks when he's annoyed or how you wish you could make sure no one will ever hurt him again or how badly you want to kiss him or how what he said that _one time_ was so sweet.

Me: I can't believe I wrote all that. Oh, it doesn't matter 'cuz there's no way I'm letting him read this.

Zexion: That would be fruitless, wouldn't it?

Me: I thought this would help me...uh...

Zexion: Think straight?

Me: Yeah that.

Zexion: It'll do that too. But don't you think that Roxas deserves to hear this all from you?

Me: He'll never hear it.

Zexion: I know that you wouldn't be able to stand that.

Me: When are you going to leave? I'm not done.

Zexion: Once you say that you'll give it to him.

Me: I'll give it to him.

Zexion: You're only bringing this on yourself.

He's finally gone. I'm bringing this on myself? What is that suppose to mean? God, I'm going to need more paper.

Ok, where was I?

...Hmmmmmmm...

What the—

Oh, it's you. What do you want? Ok, whatever. Bye.

Zexion snuck up behind me. He said that he knows what this is missing; I never said that I love you.

I love you, Roxas.

That should make him happy.

I do mean that. That is the one thing I am sure of.

You know what just popped in my head? When I figured out that we were going to the same school. Remember, you followed me at lunch? It annoyed me at first, then I decided "What the hell? Let him tag along. Maybe he'll bring us some amusement." You did more than that, Roxie. You're not overbearing like Larxene; you're not grim like Zexion; you're not an idiot like Demyx; and you certainly aren't like Xion. You're...I don't know, I'm still figuring that part out.

My hand hurts from writing so much.

Well, this is stupid and pointless and a waste of time. I do feel a little bit better though.

Meh. Whatever.

Love from,

Axel

I looked up from it. "You mean it?" I asked.

"Every word." He gave me a sad smile. "Now, please tell me if you swallowed any of these?" He held the bottle up, and the pills clicked against the container.

"I didn't."

"Thank god." He disappeared momentarily, and I heard him putting it away. When he came back, I was crying again. "Roxas?" He parked himself back in front of me, concerned.

"I don't know why..." I hastened to rub the tears off my face. "I'm...such a...dishonest person and..."

"What are you talking about? No, you're not."

I began to talk. He just sat there and listened to every word. I talked until my voice grew hoarse and then I paused, and talked some more. I told him about my mom, and how she had died, and how I had met Kelly. I told him about how I felt like an outcast, and how I missed my old friends, despite how they were angry with me for reasons I didn't understand. I told him about how Sora, Riku, and Zexion were all pushing me towards him and how I had made up my mind to tell him how I felt. It was weird hearing these words being said outside of my head, and it was almost like I was listening to someone else speak. They existed in my mind alone, and yet there they were, out in the open as Axel looked at me steadily. I told him practically everything, and when I was done, he got a wad of tissues and pressed them into my hands.

I wiped my face off, and he threw them away for me.

"Roxas, don't ever think your life isn't worth it," he said. "Eventually, you'll cope and get use to things. Trust me."

"Ok," I said weakly.

We were silent for a while. I felt a little uncomfortable, unsure of what to do next. I brought it back to something familiar: Truth. "New rule," I said.

"Yeah?" Axel said slowly.

"In order to win, I have to answer the question you couldn't."

"But I answered all the questions."

"The last one I asked you didn't."

"..._oh_," he said, realization pouring into his features.

"Ask."

"Ok," he took a breath. "If you had twenty-four hours left to live what would you do?"

I told myself not to think about it, even though my heart was racing and I had to remind myself to breathe.

"This."

I leaned over, pressing my lips against his. I had caught him by surprise, a startled look passing over him, but he kissed me back after a moment. It was indescribable and I found myself snaking my arms around his neck, leaning into it.

Although he took it upon himself to end it within seconds, pulling away from me. He worked his fingers under mine, coaxing my hands off of him. "That was...unexpected," he sort of blinked.

I cast my eyes down, my stomach becoming a torrent of butterflies and nerves that I had began to be accustomed to. "How did you not know?" I muttered softly, heat pounding to my face.

"It crossed my mind, but I figured that it was wishful thinking. If you acted even more like a love sick puppy, perhaps I would've," he mused.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're the densest, stupidest..."

"Yes, Roxie, everyday."

"I'm an idiot."

"A little impulsive maybe," he wrapped his fingers around the base of my jaw, tilting my head up until I was looking at him, "but not an idiot."

"This is not how I imagined it," I muttered, squirming out of his grip.

"No rejection and awkward pauses?"

"Yeah."

"How could I say no to that pretty face of yours?"

I bowed my head further. "Axel..." I groaned.

He laughed at my reaction, and pulled me into his lap. It was my turn to be surprised as he hugged me tightly. I clung to him like a child, burying my head in his neck. "Please don't ever scare me like that again," he murmured.

I didn't say anything, just closed my eyes and wished that this would last forever.

Everything passes eventually, and this did too. He straightened, as if he was trying to pop his back, and I glanced up.

He looked down on me, a lopsided smile on his face. "Does this mean you win?"

"At Truth?"

"Yes."

I nodded.

"You know what? I'm ok with that." He kissed the top of my head, then took my hand in his. "Are you sure about this?"

I nodded again.

"Do you still want to go to the party?" He shifted and I was tipped over to the left as he checked the time. We resettled after he put his phone away. "Although it's a little late for that. Happy new year," he added.

"I'm really tired, actually."

My eyes felt like I had run sandpaper across them; crying did that to me.

"I'll leave so you can go to bed."

"No, don't. I'm afraid that I won't be able to fall asleep."

It was an unspoken understanding that I wasn't going to be taking any sleeping pills.

"You do need to sleep," Axel said.

"I will."

"C'mon."

He pulled me to my feet. I crawled into bed, and he sat on the side after turning the bathroom light off. "Do you want me to wait until you fall asleep?" he asked.

"Yeah."

I couldn't fall asleep, not with him sitting there like that. I closed my eyes, only too aware of Axel's presence. My bed was bowed slightly more due to his added weight, and his breathing was slow and calm, like he was the one falling asleep. My mind was too full from everything that had happened and without the aid of medicine, it was next to impossible to relax.

"Axel?" I whispered.

"Yeah?" he whispered back.

"I can't sleep."

"Me being here isn't helping. I'll—"

He stood up, and I was about to stop him, but we were both immobilized as we heard the front door open. Everyone was home. The sounds of them talking and setting their things down drifted from downstairs. The hallway light turned on, falling into my room and revealing that Axel had left my bedroom door open in his haste.

"I'll go see. He might already be in bed," Kelly said, her footsteps getting closer with each passing second.

"Hide!" I hissed, frantic. I pushed Axel under my bed, laying back down just in time.

I tried my hardest to look like I was asleep. Kelly scuffled up to me, and she brushed a piece of hair out of my face. It took a great deal of effort not to wince.

"Good night, Roxas," she said softly. Her voice had a sad undertone to it, something I had never heard before.

She left, closing the door behind her.

I opened my eyes. Once I felt it was safe—as in, once everyone quieted down and settled in for the night—I said, "Axel? You can come out now."

He sat back on my bed, brushing dust off his shirt. "You could have just talked to them and explained why I'm here."

"Shh. Sora and Riku are on the other side of this wall."

"Sorry," he whispered back.

It was silent for few minutes as I struggled to fall asleep and while Axel, apparently, struggled to stay awake.

"Are you asleep?" he yawned.

"No."

"I don't want to leave but…"

"You can leave," I made myself say.

"I'm not going to. Not until you start snoring at least."

"I do not snore, Axel."

"That's what you keep telling me."

"You could...maybe...sleep here tonight," I said tentatively.

"Here?"

"With me. Not like that," I added quickly. "But like...yeah."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Roxie."

"We won't do anything. It would just help me sleep, I think."

"I don't want us to move too fast."

"Because...we're...going out?"

"Yes, silly, I think this justifies as going out."

"Oh. And don't call me that."

"Would you rather me call you snuggle bunny or precious or dearest or—"

"Ahh my ears!" I pretended to scream.

"You let me call you Roxie," he pointed out.

"That's because you _wouldn't stop_."

"You know you love your nickname, Roxie, Roxie, Roxie."

"If that's what you want to think," I shrugged. "Anyway, it makes more sense than you sitting there."

"Well..." He considered. "If you're ok with it..."

I yanked the blankets down a little in response. Through the darkness, I heard the sheets rustle as he pushed his feet and legs under. He snuggled deeper into the bed, sighing contentedly. "This is a really comfortable bed you have here," he murmured.

I couldn't see anything, so I couldn't tell where he was. From what I could deduct, he had positioned himself on the pillow next to mine—a good foot or so away. I reached over with my hand to test my theory, and brushed his sleeve, proving that I was correct. I wanted to scoot closer to him, but I knew that he would disapprove, so I didn't.

"Roxas," he said as I drew my hand back. "Can you at least _try_ to sleep?"

"I am trying," I said stubbornly.

"No, you're not. You're trying to touch me."

For some reason, this struck me as funny and I had to stifle my laughter.

"Ok," I laughed, my shoulders shaking silently. "Sorry..." I pushed it away.

"Sleep," he breathed.

"It's too hard."

"Just close your eyes."

"My eyes are closed."

"No, they're not."

"How do you know?"

"This is the best mood I've ever seen you in," he commented.

"And that's a bad thing?"

"No, it's just kinda weird, considering. If I had known, I would've gotten into bed with you sooner," he said, a hint of playfulness now creeping into his voice as well.

"Who's in a good mood now?" I teased.

"I gave up on you. You don't mind if I sleep though, do you? I'm so freaking tired."

"But then I'll have no one to talk to."

"Talk to yourself."

"Hey, do you remember that time we were talking on the phone late at night?"

"Sure."

"And I fell asleep?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Maybe if you keep talking, I'll fall asleep."

"I see your reasoning, but it doesn't seem to be working all that well."

"We should at least try it."

"Ok, why not? What do you want me to talk about?"

"I don't know. Tell me a story or something."

"Hmm. There once was a...rabbit named...Paul who harvested vegetables for his family of twenty. Every day, he'd go out into the old man's garden and dig up his carrots. Paul was only...a month old, but he acted as the father figure for his crippled mother and, um, nineteen baby sisters. One day, he was having trouble getting a carrot out of the ground. The old man was suddenly baring down on Paul, and he scooped him up into his hands. Paul trembled, thinking that the old man was angry and would...break his neck or something. Instead, the old man said 'You'll be the perfect birthday present for my granddaughter!' Paul didn't know what the meant, and quickly wiggled out of the old man's grasp. He fell, and ran back home, where his family complained about how he reeked of human. He took a bath, and then everyone was happy...the end."

"Um, Axel?"

"What?"

"Wouldn't Paul's mother have eaten him? Because he smelled like human?"

"Oh right," he scratched his head. "Ok, Paul's crippled mother suffocated him and the family had enough meat for weeks. The end. Better?"

"Who's going to feed them now?"

"His mother, uhh, finds medicine and is no longer crippled."

"You really suck at this."

"I'd like to see you do any better."

"Ok. There once was a narcissistic woman named Alex who—"

"Roxas," he said gently. "I know you don't mean that."

I started to protest, but my voice wavered away as he put his hands on either side of my face, now only inches away. I looked into his eyes, seeing the seriousness there, and blushed heavily.

"Axel," I choked out.

"Hmm?"

"What...are...you..." I said weakly, my voice wavering away.

"I'm not doing anything." He dropped his hands and turned away from me. "Now go to sleep. You don't want me to start singing."

"Was that a threat?"

"Roxas," he said sternly.

"You're only staying because you're afraid of what I might do," I accused.

"Of course I am!" he hissed. "No one would be able to stand losing you!"

"I beg to differ," I muttered.

"We've been through this," he said softly, his anger evaporating. He found my hand and clasped it tightly. "Everyone would miss you. You have to believe that."

"Ok," I said, unconvinced.

"At least believe that I would miss you."

"Thanks, Axel," I said, now sincere.

"If it makes you feel better," he said, stretching, "I'd bawl like a baby. Right alongside Sora and Kelly."

"For some reason, I can't imagine that."

"I sure can," he snickered.

"I've never seen you cry," I said thoughtfully.

"And you don't want to. It makes me look terrible."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, my face gets all red and..." he yawned, "my nose starts runnin'."

"You're making me feel bad."

"For what?"

"Keeping you up. Even though you're already lazy enough as it is."

"I hope that comment made you feel guiltier."

"It didn't."

"Well, it should have."

"Ok, Axel. Good night."

"Really?" he asked, hopeful.

"Really."

"G'night, Roxie," he said cheerfully.

His hand slipped out of mine, and I shifted positions as well. I turned away from him; honestly, him being there made my skin crawl with a mixture of nervousness and excitement, but I wasn't about to let him know that. I studied the wall for a moment, letting my train of thought run. Then slowly my eyes closed and I drifted off into a deep sleep.

A/N: Sound familiar? :)

Now to tie up the loose ends...uhhhhhh...

~KeedaxEmry


	26. Acceptance

I was awake, but I didn't want to be. I kept my eyes closed, my mind still relaxed and unfocused. It was serene; by far the best sleep I had gotten in ages...I stretched my legs, ignoring the sunlight shining in my eyes. It was really warm...and cozy...like a cloud or a recliner placed right in front of a fire place. It was perfect, and I wished that I could lay there for eternity.

As soon as that thought surfaced, it occurred to me that I was in an awfully good mood. Something must have happened. A pleasant dream maybe? The fact that I had slept so well? Maybe Kelly, my dad, Sora and Riku decided to stay at the New Year's Eve party forever...New Year's Eve...Axel...oh geez...

My vision was filled with red. I didn't dare move as much as a inch. Sometime in the night, I had managed to roll over towards Axel; he was laying on his back, his arm-which I happened to be on top of-thrown out to his left. My head was buried in his shoulder, explaining how all I could see was his t-shirt.

I stayed there for a while. His shirt smelled like fabric softener, which is a weird thing to enjoy but it reminded me of when my mom would take clothes out of the dryer and pile them in a large heap. I'd crawl through them and she'd laugh.

I closed my eyes, I was still exhausted and, besides, I didn't want to wake him up. So there was no reason to get up.

Slowly, however, I became more alert and more awake. My room had brightened considerably; it had to be at least nine o' clock. I heard Sora run downstairs, yelling something. How loud can one person be? He's going to lose his voice. He's going to make my ears bleed. He's going to-

The lock. On my door. It's broken. Anyone could come in at any given moment.

I shifted my head up a tiny bit, stealing a glance at Axel. He was staring at the ceiling, listening to Sora freaking out. Of course it had woke him up.

"Now I understand what you have to live through," he muttered.

"You have to leave," I sat up, freeing myself from his arm.

"I thought you were going to want to cuddle for at least another hour," he snickered.

"Shut up," I blushed. I began to get out of bed, but he flung his arms around me.

"Nooo, Roxie! If you leave, the space monsters will eat me!" he cried.

"They'll hear you!" I hissed as footsteps thudded down the hall.

Axel looked towards the source of all the noise, bewildered. "What the hell are they doing?"

"I don't know, but you have to leave."

He got up unbearably slow, probably moving half a centimeter per second. He put his shoes on, tied them, got his coat, and draped it over his shoulders, all the while grinning at the look on my face.

"Go!" I tried to push him towards the balcony. He stayed where he was.

"You do realize," he said, "that I parked my car in your driveway?"

"You _what_? Oh, shit, never mind." I put my hands flat on his back, shoving as hard as I could. Sora and Kelly were tramping by my door again-they seemed to be in hysterics.

"What am I going to do?" Sora yowled.

I heard Riku approach them: I had each of them classified by the sound of their footsteps. Kelly's were soft and muted, my dad's were clunky and harsh, Riku's were steady and precise, and Sora's were bouncy and quick.

"What's going on?" Riku asked.

It was like they were all camped outside my room, except for my dad, who was surely at work. Not that it mattered much; I had three very large problems as it was. If they found Axel here, I would never hear the end of it! Kelly would embarrass me within two seconds by asking if we had used protection. Sora would skip around the room, proclaiming how happy he was, and Riku would stand there with a smug look on his face...

"Axel!" I groaned. "I'll get your car back to you, I promise! Just go!"

"You cursed," he chuckled.

"Go!" I tried to drag him away, but his feet were planted firmly.

"Maybe if you cuss again," he said, seeming entertained and not the least bit worried.

"Get the-"

I was cut off as someone knocked on my door briskly. "Roxas?" Kelly called.

I was surprised that she had respected my privacy and hadn't just barged in. I didn't dwell on that, however, and instead I wrenched the balcony door open.

"Ok, ok!" Axel laughed. "I'm going!"

He vanished, I shut the door, and let Kelly in.

"Good morning. Did I wake you up?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah," I said.

"I'm sorry. It's dreadful really-oh, but, I'll tell you later. We have to get going." While she said all of this, her eyes searched the room, an expectant look on her face.

"Are you," I paused, "looking for something?"

She giggled, guilty at being caught. "Axel's car is in the driveway, and I heard you talking to someone, so I assumed-"

"That he was here?"

"Yes," she tittered.

"Well, he's not."

"I...see that," she said, obviously unconvinced. "Why is his-"

"After the party, he dropped me off, and his car wouldn't start. He had to walk home."

"In the dark? That's not good. Did he get home alright?"

"Yeah."

"How was the party?"

"Fine."

"We had a splendid time!"

"Mom!" Sora whined, appearing in the doorway.

"We'll leave real soon, cuddlecakes," she said gently. "Once Roxas is ready."

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I have to be cleansed!" Sora exclaimed.

"What...?"

"Bad energy," Kelly tried to explain. "We have to get rid of it as soon as possible."

"And why do I have to go?"

"You need to get a suit."

"Um, for what?" I honestly had no idea what either of them were talking about.

"The wedding," she said, distracted. Sora was sniffing, obviously holding back tears, and she wiped his face off with her sleeve. "It's in two weeks."

I really _have_ zoned them out, I thought. The wedding can't be that soon, can it?

"Get dressed, ok?" She chauffeured Sora away.

What in the world…? I couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. Sora had looked absolutely terrified, his face pale and dripping with sweat. What, was he infected with bad energy? That nonsense would be enough to scare him, I'm sure.

We were all out the door in ten minutes flat.

Kelly drove her little bug, and Sora sat next to her in the passenger's seat. An unhappy Riku and an equally unhappy me were crammed into the back.

"Ok...the address..." Kelly said to herself before even starting the car. "Where did I put it?"

Riku slid a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it up to her. "This?"

"Thank you, Riku, you're a life saver," she said, sounding rushed, as if we would all die in a few minutes, depending on how quickly we got our act together. She turned the car on, and it rumbled gently underneath us, reminding me of the ocean.

Soon we were headed towards the heart of the city.

"So here's the plan," Kelly said to everyone. "We get this situation taken care of, go to the fitting, and then I have to meet with the travel agent about a few honeymoon details. Hopefully we'll get to the appointment in time."

"What situation?" I asked.

"Well," Kelly appeared strangely uncomfortable. "Sora? Do you want to tell him?"

"No," he squeaked. He was _still_ scared, I thought.

Riku turned towards me. "Sora had a nightmare last night," he began.

"It was awful," Sora supplied.

"He dreamt that he came home to find you sitting at the table doing homework," he continued. "He tried to get your attention, but you wouldn't look up, because you were deaf. When I got there, I asked him what you were doing. He lied, telling me that you're studying for an entrance exam because he doesn't want anyone to know that you've lost your hearing. I leave, and you show him what you've been looking at. It's an x-ray of some type. You open your mouth to say something, but water starts flooding into the house."

"It was up to my chin before I woke up," Sora shuddered.

"So what? It's just a stupid dream," I reasoned.

"That's what I said," Riku muttered darkly.

"It's the flood that's the problem," Kelly croaked. "He dreamt of a flood the day before we got the news that my husband was dead. I myself dreamt of a flood before learning that my best friend had been diagnosed with cancer. It runs in our family, the ultimate bad omen."

"One of us is going to die," Sora started to bawl.

"Shh, shh, shnookums, it's alright. Nothing bad is going to happen as long as we go see Madam Rizar."

"Shouldn't Oscar be with us?" Riku inquired.

"He'll be ok. He's at work. It's very safe there."

"Axel's dad died at work," I said. "Now that I think about it, he drowned. Huh."

"Roxas, that's not helping," Kelly said over Sora's wailing. She was having trouble keeping her eyes off her son and on the road. "Riku, dear? Can you..."

Riku shot me a dirty look before leaning forward to rub Sora's shoulder; he was further from Sora than I was because he was sitting on Kelly's side, so he had to pull on his seatbelt a few times. "Sora?" he murmured. "If you keep crying, the magic won't work."

"Yes, you have to think positive thoughts for it to work," Kelly helped.

His sobbing receded to a few whimpers, and Riku sat back on the seat.

"This is all your fault," Riku growled at me, quiet enough so that neither Kelly nor Sora could hear him.

"How is this _my_ fault?" I exclaimed.

"That movie you gave me," he said, his voice low. "We watched it yesterday. The main character drowns at the end."

"How was I suppose to know-"

"We're here," Kelly announced.

We were sitting in a dark parking garage. We walked down countless flights of stairs-it's healthier than using the elevator, of course-and stepped out onto the street. A few blocks later of ruthless wind, and encouraging words from Kelly, and we came to a small building. It looked like it hadn't seen business for years; the front window was broken and covered by flimsy plastic, the siding was falling off, the inside was gray and vacant.

We stared at it, dumbfounded.

"Are you sure we're at the right place?" Riku finally voiced.

"...yeah," Kelly said after consulting the paper. She swooped down, grabbing the handle of the door. It opened a crack, and she peered inside. "Hello?" she called.

The wind picked up suddenly, making both Kelly and Sora jump. Sora shivered, and Riku put his arm around him.

"Madam Rizar?" she tried again, shaking. "Anyone?"

Riku stopped her from going inside. "I don't think that's a good idea. There's glass and rat poison everywhere."

"I think it's deserted," Sora trembled.

"How can that be?" Kelly stuck her head further inside. "Madam?"

There was a loud bang, and she cut off, screaming. She grabbed Sora's hand and bolted down the street. Riku ran after them, quickly catching up. They were yelling at me to come, but instead I scooted closer to the store window. A broom had fallen over...and standing next to it, it's little nose tasting the air, was a mouse.

"You guys, it's a mouse!"I hollered, disgusted by their behavior.

"We're leaving!" Kelly yelled.

I walked over to where they were waiting.

"But...I..." Sora sputtered.

"There are other places we can go," Kelly said.

"What if it's too late?" he trembled.

"Not yet it isn't," she replied, determined.

We got back in the car and went on a wild goose chase. It was appearing bleak until we found a psychic's shop, a stout, bowed over building with deep, blue paint. If one good gust came, I thought, it would crumble to pieces.

There was a waiting room with stiff, plastic chairs, a brown counter with a silver bell, and two doorways covered by thick curtains. It reeked of jasmine incense. All over the walls were pictures of astrology. One had nothing but a single eye on it; one creepy, staring, yellow eye. Yes, yellow. It was a good foot long, with a perfectly circular iris, and abnormally long, dark eyelashes. I sat down, casting my vision far from it.

Kelly rang the bell, and an old woman came out of a separate room. She had a purple shawl on over her, and her face was wrinkled and had a powdery white look to it."Greetings," the woman drawled, her voice flowing and smooth.

"Hello. We need to get rid of some negative energy," Kelly said nervously.

"I see...I see...Is it that boy there?" She pointed a shriveled finger at me. I blatantly turned away.

"Uh, no. it's him." She pushed Sora forward.

"Ahhh, maybe I'll work on that one later. Come, come." She ushered the two of them away.

Riku sighed, and sat down on the other side of the room, annoyed.

It took longer than I thought it would. There were no magazines or reading material, other than a book titled "Zodiac: The Little Zoo", which had to be as phony as anything else here. I tapped the floor with my foot, straining to hear what was going on in the other room, then searched my pockets.

I had grabbed my phone, but had left my iPod at home. That was helpful.

I took my phone out anyway.

Five new voice mails, I read.

I haven't checked it since last night. I selected play, and pressed it to my ear and listened to all of them.

Message #1, from Axel:

_Hey, Roxas. Hurry up and get here-_

There was a burst of laughter, then:

_Shut up! I'm on the phone!...Anyway, get here before anyone passes out-_

He gasped.

_I'm going to kill you! You freaking-beep._

He either hung up or the answering machine cut him off.

Message #2, from Axel:

_Sorry about that. Some truly evil and spiteful people poured water over my head. Again. They're lucky my phone didn't break. If you're not here in five minutes, I will drag you out of your house. Beep._

Message #3, also from Axel:

_Where are you? Xemnas said you were here a little while ago...call me, ok? Or I'll go out and find you. Beep._

Message #4, still from Axel:

_Hellooo? Answer the phone. If you don't, someone's going to call the police. Seriously, but I'll check your house first...where are my god damn keys?...Have you...? No? Arggg. As soon as I find my keys, I'm leaving. So you'd better call me in the next two minutes. Beep._

Message #5, guess who:

_Roxas?...beep._

I toyed with the idea of texting him, but ended up rejecting it; no doubt he was either asleep or at work. I put my phone away, feeling bad that I had worried him so much last night.

I tried to entertain myself by daydreaming, but my mind would wander until I ended up thinking about how stupid this was, or how I was going to be stuck behind a desk in two days, or how I was going to endure a ceremony and reception in the nearby future, which would likely be as over-the-top as the woman involved or...Axel. Mainly the latter. Where to begin? I had told him so much, and it had to be admitted that it left me feeling frightened and vulnerable. Don't get me wrong, it made me happy...geez, that word sounds weird, like it doesn't belong in my head...but, I mean, what had he thought? If I were him, I'd be thinking "What the hell have I gotten myself into? This kid is screwed up with a capitol s." Not only that, he could tell anyone. Then I'd get that stupid mix of pity and false sorrow everywhere I went. Axel wouldn't do that though...at least, I don't think he would. Would he? And how can I come to terms with the fact that I have a...a _boyfriend_. God, that sounds weirder than happy. It...I don't know, it...

I shook my head, earning a confused look from Riku. There's no way he doesn't think I'm insane by now, I thought. Which reminded me, was I going to tell them-meaning my "family"-about Axel? Or the pills? Or anything? Probably not, although they might keep bugging me about it. Then again, they hadn't pressed the subject much, besides dropping enough hints to make me want to scream in their ears.

Another thing: relationships in general, especially high school relationships. They end. That's what they do. It's inevitable that Axel and I will break it off, no question about it...the real questions were how was it going to happen, who was going to do it, and the kicker: would we still be friends? I doubt it. Maybe we'll get the easy way out; he'll graduate, we'll say good-bye, and that'll be the end of it. That would be for the best-no dramatic break-up scene, and, besides, if we lasted somehow, men can't marry. I don't think. Like it would happen anyway. And what if-

"Stop it," I whispered to myself sternly. "Stop worrying."

That was rewarded with another look from Riku.

I gave up, grabbing the zodiac book. I flipped through it. First chapter introductions; second chapter Aries; third chapter Taurus...blah...blah...blah...I finally landed on my sign.

Virgo the Virgin (August 23rd through September 22nd)

Quick Overview

You are virtuous, honest, dependable, and orderly. You do, however, tend to be a know-it-all and a perfectionist. You excel in careers in the fields of art, literature, and philosophy. You remember almost everything and you value your privacy.

Strengths: Precise, intelligent, observant, analytical

Weaknesses: Cold, interfering, skeptical, idealistic

Color: Pale gold

Planet: Mercury

Gem: Jade

Number: 10

Day: Wednesday

Animal: Squirrel

Mineral: Platinum

Most compatible with: Taurus and Capricorn

They can't be further from the truth, I scoffed. This was obviously written to get money from easily misled people. Though I do value my privacy...hey, I wonder...

Taurus the Bull (April 21st through May 21st)

What do you know? Axel's a Taurus, because I'm pretty sure his birthday is May eighteenth, and it says we're compatible...

How can you get all that from planets? They're just balls of rock millions of miles away and-

"Have you found enlightenment?" That woman was standing over me, peering down with her beady, little eyes.

"…no." I closed the book and set it back down where I had found it.

"Shall I began to work on him?" she asked eagerly, looking down at me as if I was a pile of her favorite dessert.

Kelly appeared. "I would love to but-"

Sora ran out from behind her, smiling gleefully. "Riku! Roxas! I'm all better!"

"Good," Riku stood up, smiling in return. "You're back to your old self."

"Yeah, back to being loud and annoying," I muttered.

"Disrespect weighs heavily on one's soul," the woman said.

"I have a promise to keep," Riku snarled, suddenly becoming infuriated.

"What promise is-" I stopped as he yanked me out of the chair. His knuckles landed sharply on my temple, and I fell back in a daze of pain and surprise. I guess I had finally gotten to him.

"Riku, no!" Sora cried. He wrapped both of his hands around Riku's flexed arm, which was prepared to slam into my stomach.

Riku stopped short. "Let go of me," he said calmly.

"Don't hurt Roxas!"

"Riku," Kelly said, shocked. "Just take a few deep breaths. Yes, like that."

"You better?" Sora asked after a little while.

Riku nodded.

Sora let go, and Riku promptly delivered that blow I had been ready for. The wind was knocked out of me, and I found I couldn't breathe; I tensed, feeling hopeless, waiting for the next hit. It never came.

I looked up, confused. Sora was crying. Again.

"Sora...I..." Riku reached for him, looking like he wanted to cry as well.

"I can't believe you!" Sora screeched before fleeing outside to the car.

I wanted to say "you're done it now", but I decided that it probably wouldn't be in my best interests to do so, considering Riku still wanted to kill me, and I had just watched him screw his love life up over pent frustration. Frustration caused by me in the first place.

I straightened, trying not to moan in pain. Riku hit _hard_.

Riku was bent over, a shadow falling over his face, and so it was impossible to make out his expression. I was surprised that he hadn't immediately gone after Sora, but then I noticed that he was clutching the end of his shirt tightly. If you looked close enough, you could see that he was shaking. It was only very slightly, but seeing Riku like that...I don't know, it didn't fit him. It was like seeing Sora becoming a professional football player, and a good one at that. Or it was like seeing my dad taking a day off of work to sleep in until noon. It was bizarre...

Is he crying? I squinted, stunned, but Riku wasn't crying, just very close to it.

"Both of your auras are black," the woman told Riku and I. If I wasn't mistaken, there was a hint of amusement in her voice. "It'll take my best efforts to-"

"I'm sorry, but we really must get going," Kelly said politely. "Here's what I owe you."

The woman took the money, then approached me. "You must at least chew on this," she shoved something in my mouth. it was a leafy herb of some kind; it was disgusting, and its juices were already at work coating my tongue with a bitter, overpowering taste. "Remember not to swallow it."

She shoved some in Riku's mouth as well.

"Thank you," Kelly hurried out the door.

"Good day," she bid us.

I spat the herb out the second I got outside.

"Are you alright?" Kelly asked me once we were all buckled in.

"Yeah," I said, trying not to look in Riku's direction.

"Apologize," she prompted.

"I'm sorry, Roxas," Riku said.

"That was uncalled for. We will talk about this later."

One thing that Kelly hated was violence, I noted. You had to hand it to Riku, he took everything out on me in less than a minute and successfully pissed off Kelly and Sora, the most cheerful people I know. Sora was now glaring out the window, angry tears running down his face. A stony silence fell over us.

It felt odd to be the only person who wasn't upset. I had gotten beaten up, but that was only physical, and I had known that it was going to come sooner or later.

That sure blew up in his face, I thought, sneaking a peek at Riku. His face was a mask. I wonder if he thinks it's worth it? Probably, as long as Sora forgives him.

"Sora?" Riku broke the silence.

He didn't respond.

"I'm sorry. I made a mistake."

No response.

This Sora is an improvement, I thought. He's not annoying me for once.

"What else can I say, Sora?"

"You hurt my brother and therefore you have hurt me," he said haughty. "How could you do such a thing?"

I wanted to laugh at that. Sora was acting like this because Riku had punched his "brother." I made Sora cry on a regular basis...and he still was trying to protect me. Riku was the one who really cared about Sora and defended him against _me_. This was too funny.

"I was only trying to-" Riku protested.

"Shh."

"Roxas was-"

"Shh!"

"I know you-"

"_Shh!_"

Ok, he was annoying me.

"I want you to be happy. Don't you understand that?" Riku asked.

"I don't see how that was suppose to make me happy."

"He-"

"I don't want to talk to you. Be quiet."

"But-"

"Riku, later," Kelly interrupted.

The silence prevailed until we got to our next destination: a wedding boutique. Kelly jumped out, and we followed her.

The lobby inside was enormous and magnificent, like something you expected out of a magazine. There were plush, emerald-colored couches, a polished wood floor, a fireplace crackling in the corner, and a pond with little fish that took up a portion of the floor, right in front of the desk. If I hadn't known better, I would have said that we were in a hotel. The only thing that distinguished it as a wedding boutique were all the manikins in elegant white gowns.

"You two stay here," Kelly said to Sora and Riku.

Kelly and I were showed to a separate room.

"It will be just a moment," an employee told us, leaving us alone in a fitting room. Large mirrors showed our reflections, and the cream-colored carpet felt soft against my feet; I had pulled my shoes off after a request from Kelly and set them aside.

"Why are you here? Am I the only one who needs a suit?" I asked.

"Yes, you are," she smiled, then chewed at her lip. "I am hoping that if I leave them alone, they'll work it out."

Her anger had faded, and now she was worried.

I shrugged. "I've never seen them fight. At least not like this. It never seems to last for more than five seconds."

"I know, me neither! Except for when they were little..."

She left while I changed into a suit that was surprisingly ordinary. I had been expecting something gold or, at the very least, white, to be honest, but this one was black. Then people were walking around me, tailoring the jacket mainly, and sticking pins in seemingly random places.

By the time I went back to the lobby, my feet were aching from standing up for so long. Kelly went up to the desk, talking to someone, and I went over to Sora and Riku. They had settled on a single chair. Sora was curled up on Riku's lap, fast asleep with his head tucked underneath Riku's chin.

"Wow, he got over it fast," I said wryly.

Riku looked up. Kelly was now talking to one of the designers and, from the sound of it, she was telling him about the wedding. "It was harder than you think," Riku said dully.

"What'd you say to him?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"A few different things. It came with a price, trust me."

"Come on, everyone," Kelly started marching towards the exit, but she stopped when she saw Sora. "He tired himself out, didn't he?" she practically swooned.

"Yeah," Riku said softly, his eyes fixed on Sora's face. "Sora. Wake up."

Sora's eyes fluttered open and he yawned.

"I have an idea!" Kelly declared. "Let's go out to lunch!"

"I never even ate breakfast," I muttered to myself.

"Yummy," Sora said happily, climbing off of Riku's lap.

"Yeah," Riku agreed, standing up.

"I'm so glad you two made up," Kelly beamed. She paused, a cloud passing over her face. "But don't let that make you think that you've gotten off easy, mister," she told Riku, trying to sound stern.

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded.

"You and Axel," she giggled, flustered but pleased. Riku obviously knew what he was doing.

And just like that, everyone was back to their old selves. Or maybe not...

Sora's face was abruptly shoved in mine. He examined me until I pushed him away.

"We already had enough violence for today!" Kelly chastised as Sora fought to remained balance.

"You seem different," Sora said, now steady.

"Different?" I asked.

"Yep. Diffff-errrrrrrr-ent!" He paused, thoughtful. "Hmm, what could it be?"

"He talked so much today," Kelly said as we headed back outside.

"And he didn't make as many smartass remarks," Riku added.

"You're delirious," I said.

"Oh my gosh, is he joking with us?" Kelly skipped over to me and tried to grab my hand.

I dodged her, and kept walking. "No, I was being serious."

"This certainly is an improvement," she continued to ramble.

"I got it!" Sora bursted. "Acceptance!"

"Whaaaa-?" I yelped as Kelly latched onto my arm cheerfully.

"The final stage of the grieving process," she provided. "You made it!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, please get off me," I chanted.

She did so. Sora took another second to inspect me. "Maybe that's not it..." he hummed.

"What else could it be?" Kelly argued.

"I don't know. He loves the new suit?"

"I don't think so. Roxas, is there anything you want to tell us?" She shot me a sunny grin, her eyes sparkling.

"No," I said.

"Nothing about what happened today? Or yesterday? Or in the past week or so? How are you feeling?"

"Um, fine, I guess."

"Uh-huh. And you and Axel? Things still peachy?"

"Sure."

"I bet we have _plenty_ to talk about over lunch."

"Acceptance," Sora chimed.

"Ok," I said.

"Ohhhhhh yeah! Mom? Mom? Mom?" Sora sang.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Riku and Roxas are going to bond tomorrow so we should do something together!"

"Yeah! Just the two of us, huh?"

They smiled radiantly at each other.

"What?" I blinked.

"Payment," Riku uttered.

"You two have to get along from here on out!" Sora explained. "So you'll have tomorrow all to yourselves!"

"What are we suppose to do?" I asked.

"Whatever you want!"

I already tried to get out of it. "I made plans for tomorrow."

"To do what?"

"Hang out with Axel."

"You do that practically every day!" he complained. "Nope, you and Riku are going to have a great time!"

"I can't believe I didn't think of this myself," Kelly ruffled her son's hair.

"Thanks, mom!"

I glanced at Riku, warily. He seemed just as apprehensive as I was.

Sora gasped suddenly. "I got it!" he shrieked again.

"What is it this time?" I sighed.

"You confessed your love to Axel!"

Stupid insightful brat, I thought bitterly. "If that's what you want to think."

"You did! You did, you did, you did!" He was growing more excited by the second.

"No, I didn't."

"Hey, you told us about a week ago that you did," Riku interjected.

"I...um..."

"Riku! You believed that?" Sora demanded.

"No," Riku laughed.

Sora joined in. "Me neither!"

"So, Roxas, fill us in!" Kelly exclaimed.

"No."

"So it's true!"

"I didn't say that."

"You said that you wouldn't fill us in, and that means that there is something to fill us in about," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Ok...maybe I...never mind," I said quickly.

"He was going to tell us!" both Sora and Kelly cried out.

"No, I was going to say that I'm cold, so can you unlock the car?"

The car beeped as it unlocked and we piled in.

"We'll give you some time," Kelly said.

"Time for what?"

"To tell us all about it. Oh, oh, make sure you don't go out on a first date before I can get pictures!"

"Uh-huh, whatever."

They stopped bugging me for the meantime. After lunch and a stop by the travel agent, we arrived back home.

There was an envelope waiting for me on the counter. It was a reply from Olette; it had taken a while to get to me, I thought. This is so much slower than email or phone but she insists...

Dear Roxas,

I was so glad to hear from you. Of course I don't hate you! How could I, we've been friends forever, haven't we? I've been delaying telling you all this, because it might upset you, but if I don't, who will?

Like I said, I am writing because of how worried I have been. Naminé has been dreaming about you a lot lately. A lot. You haven't done anything wrong...not that we can prove. She thought you were cheating on her. Yes, she jumped to that conclusion with no real evidence, but she was already fragile, what with you and her sister and everything. I'm sorry, I can't write today, can I? Naminé had a dream where she saw you and some guy kissing. She apparently dreams about this guy a great deal; he has spiky red hair, and weird tattoos under his eyes. I understand that Kairi tried to find out more about him, to see if it was true, but that didn't work. I know we really haven't been fair, but Naminé broke up with you to, in the end, save herself from a world of hurt. A relationship across the country would never work for her, even though she still loves you.

The dream that really prompted me to write you was this: you were sitting in some bathroom, with a bottle of pills in your hand. You were going to commit suicide. I don't know if her dreams really come true, or already have happened, or what. I really don't believe in this kind of thing, but it still worried me enough.

Please write back. And feel free to elaborate on the things above.

Wish you were here,

Olette

I have to talk to Naminé, was the only thing I could think after reading that.

Before I knew what I was doing, a ringing filled my ears. It rang once...then twice...then three times...then four times...maybe I should hang up, I thought after the fifth ring.

"Hello?"

I froze at the sound of her voice.


	27. Survey

A/N: I know, I know. This isn't an actual chapter. I'm sorry, but I haven't been on a computer for a while...and I can't upload until my brother stops being a meanie-face. I already wrote the next chapter and everything. =.=

I am using this computer briefly, a computer which unfortunately does not have Falling Away on it, a computer that refused to cooperate for a good half hour...but in the end, I was victorious. D

...urgggg. I am also going on vacation, so I will update as soon as it's possible to do so.

This does give me a good excuse to do a survey though. Because I am almost done with this fanfic, I was wondering what I should write next. A sequel (maybe even from Axel's POV)? Something completely different? Tell me what you think: review, message me, whatever.

-virtual cookies for all-

~KeedaxEmry


	28. Cascade

A/N: I don't know what I am going to do yet, but I do know that if I make a sequel it will be shorter (probably at least). Oh well, that can wait.

I am dead tired at the moment so if this sounds yucky, just blame it on lack of sleep. Yes, I know, my word choice is suffering because of this dilemma.

~KeedaxEmry

I quickly recovered. "Uh, hi Naminé."

"May I ask who's calling?"

"It's Roxas."

"Roxas?" she gasped. "What are—"

"I think you have the wrong number," Kairi said, her voice dripping with as much false sweetness as ever.

"Let me talk to her," I demanded.

"Can I have my phone back?" I heard Naminé ask.

"I thought you had given up," Kairi ignored her.

"Olette told me everything," I said.

"Oh, really? What did she tell you?"

"About the dreams Naminé has been having."

"I'm afraid you'll have to be a bit more specific."

"About Axel-I mean, um-"

"Axel! Nami, did you hear that? His name is Axel! You never did strike me as a gay guy." Her voice grew slightly louder with each word. "I guess you can never tell…you were pretty quiet, but that doesn't mean anything, does it?"

The way she said that, with malice and that odd tinge of sugariness, made me wince. Why can't she be more like her sister, I thought. "Kairi, give her the phone."

"No good will come out of that...no, Naminé, I'm not done talking to him."

"I have to explain-"

"There's nothing to explain. You cheated on her. Like most guys, you…" She started grumbling about Sora and she basically condemned every man on the planet.

"I never cheated on her! If you let me explain everything to her...I'll...I'll get Sora to talk to you."

"You are really bad at bribing."

"I can go get Sora right now."

"Puh-leese. As if he'd talk to me. Anyway, I have a new boyfriend. He-"

"Hello?" Naminé's voice said over the angry shrieking in the background.

"How dare you-" Kairi began.

"It isn't polite to steal other people's phones," Naminé cut her off.

"Whatever. I'm going to go smoke."

"You're going to get cancer!...fine, ignore me," she sighed. "I'm sorry about that, Roxas."

"It's ok."

"I wasn't really expecting to hear from you."

"Obviously. Olette told me about a dream you had..." I began awkwardly.

"Which one?"

"Uh, she told me about two," I coughed hurriedly. "In one I was...with a red-haired guy, and in the other, I had a bottle of pills."

"Oh. I've had a lot of dreams with a red-haired guy. My room's covered with him, so I don't know which one you are talking about."

"The red-haired guy and I were...um..."

"Kissing? Or something to that effect?"

"Yeah."

"I have one of those right here." There was a slight shuffling noise and then she murmured, "I think your eyes are too big..."

"You still drawing a lot?" I asked, sliding onto the counter and sort of holding my breath, because I was afraid of what was going to come. Maybe she'd shout at me, or, worse yet, she'd become quieter and eventually tell me she had to go, which would mean she was hiding her feelings from me again...

"Yes, more than usual. This might sound…vain, but it's good to hear from you. I guess drawing you and sticking it on my wall isn't helping." She laughed sheepishly. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

"Though I really shouldn't be talking to you."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"You know now, don't you?"

"Know that you think I cheated on you?"

"Yeah," she said softly.

"I didn't cheat on you."

"My dreams come true. You know that. Although some of them are obviously flukes, like the one with the bottle."

"That wasn't a fluke," I forced myself to say.

"What? Oh my god, Roxas, are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. You know that guy you're always drawing?"

"Yes?"

"Is he the same guy you showed me at Johnny Rockets? Tall, cocky expression, tattoos under his eyes?"

"Johnny Rockets?...oh, I remember now. Yes, that's him. I haven't been able to get him out of my head since then."

"Yeah. When did you dream about him and I?"

"Hmm, I think it started back in November."

"All the stuff you've been seeing…or most of it…hasn't even happened yet. Axel and I...only yesterday...er-"

"So what you are saying is that nothing happened between the two of you until yesterday, and since we're no longer dating it doesn't count as cheating?"

"…yeah."

"I suppose my dreams do get distorted time-wise. I'm sorry I blamed you like that."

"Thanks."

"We were going to break-up anyway."

"Yeah."

"So, this boy you're been seeing..." she purred.

"Naminé!" I groaned.

"I think I know more about him then you do. Wait, what's him name again?"

I pulled my legs up and sat cross-legged, now smiling and looking at the window where faint sunlight streamed in as the day came to an end. "Axel."

"I had a dream last night about his parents. Beatrice and Marcus? Well, apparently, they sent him away because he got suspended for getting in a fight at school. I didn't know you were into the bad-boy type," she giggled, pleased with herself.

I didn't respond because I was embarrassed as ever, but also because my mind was racing, trying to place the names…

"Roxas? Are you still there?" she asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, I just realized something. _I_ caused that."

"Huh?"

"That happened months ago. I remember Zexion saying it." I shook my head, thinking back. "Axel was protecting me from this guy, Clyde...never bothered to tell me about his foster parents, freaking..." I mumbled.

She laughed. "In another one, he tells you that he loves you for the first time."

"Was it written on a piece of paper?"

"No. And you start blushing your head off-"

"You still enjoy torturing me, don't you?"

"It's a past time! And you were so surprised," she continued, "because of how casually he said it. I swear, you looked like you were going to pass out-"

"Please stop."

That only made her giggle more, knowing the power she now had over me. "He started to leave, but you stopped him. It took you a second to say-"

"I've created a monster." I bowed my head, wondering what other dreams she had about my private life, which I guess was more of a show that only she was privy to. Geez.

"I'm curious," she paused. "Has this happened yet? Because it seems like that Beatrice thing is in the past."

"No, it hasn't happened yet. You're ruining it."

"And then-"

"I said, you're ruining it."

"Don't you want to know what happens next?" She pretended to pout.

"No. I find it kind of creepy that you know so much about my personal life. And you remind me of Axel, it's weird."

"I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Probably a good thing," she laughed.

"So you're done foretelling my future?"

"No."

"Naminé," I said sternly.

"Oh, well. It was fun while it lasted."

"I would think that it scares you."

"I'm use to it. I mean, at first, I was shocked. One thing that still bothers me is whether or not you ever liked me. You and Axel are so passionate-we were never like that."

"That's because we weren't together for that long. I didn't know what I was doing...not that I do now, but..."

"You weren't just pretending?"

"No, of course I wasn't!"

"So you like guys _and_ girls?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. Axel is the only guy I've had feelings for."

"That's a relief, though I don't think Hayner would like you saying that."

"You told them all about the dreams?"

"It was hard not to."

She's like an out of control gosspier, I couldn't help thinking. "And that's why they're all so mad at me?"

"I'll explain this all to them, of course. Hayner will get over it eventually. Maybe not as quick as me, because it's _Hayner_."

"It didn't have anything to do with him."

"Yeah, I know, but he probably feels like you were holding out on him. He's not very fond of Axel."

"I bet that's an understatement," I said dryly.

"You can decided that for yourself, I suppose."

"Yeah…"

"I guess I could tell you...no, I shouldn't..." I could just imagine her biting her lip and staring down at her always-painted toenails, worried.

"What?"

"Never mind."

"Naminé, I've spent the last few months wondering how I upset you."

"Ok," she said, guilty. "Well, Hayner...he calls Axel the Red Fag Hag, which is really mean, I know," she said disapprovingly.

"God."

"Yeah. We had nothing to call him, because I didn't know his name, so you see-"

"I don't care, Naminé."

"Really? You're not mad?"

"Not really. Not at you, at least."

"So you are mad," she said defeated.

"No, I'm not."

"You sound mad."

"Yes, because you won't let it go," I snapped. "And why did you go and blab to everyone?"

"Sorry!" she squeaked.

"Now I feel bad," I sighed. "Sorry, Naminé, forget it."

"Ok," she said, unsure.

"You don't tell them about all of your dreams, do you?" I changed the subject. "Because...yeah."

"No, but the drawings speak for themselves."

"You still manage to humiliate me from across the country."

"I would say it's my job, but I guess it's really Axel's."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"I don't like how you said that. Like you know something I don't."

"I know lots of things you don't."

"That's reassuring," I muttered.

"Isn't it?" she asked happily. "I don't just dream about you and Axel. I dream about Sora and Riku and Kelly and Demyx and a bunch of other people I've never even met."

"The Kelly that's Sora's mom?"

"Yeah."

"Is Demyx a teenage boy with blonde hair?"

"Uh-huh, and he's always getting Axel wet."

"I guess that proves that you're dreams are real."

"Even though the past and future get all mixed up," she pointed out.

"Yeah, there is that one little detail."

"Enough about my dreams. How have you been?"

"You would know."

"Maybe I shouldn't ask this, but," she said tentatively, "why were you going to commit suicide?"

"Well, I...it's stupid, really. I saw Axel and Larxene kissing."

"Larxene? Is she the one with antennas?"

"You know way too much."

"I'll take that as a yes. I don't like her, she's rude."

"At least you've never met her. This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had."

"Just you wait."

"Please stop saying things like that."

"Oh, Roxas, I can try."

I started to say something, but I saw Waggles prance into the kitchen, squat down-

"No! Bad!" Sora ran in, scoping her up, and putting her in the backyard.

"What was that?" Naminé asked.

"Nothing. So-"

"Roxas, can you let her back in?" Sora interrupted me, closing the door.

"Shouldn't you be watching her?"

"I have to do something." He started to walk away.

"I'm not letting her back in."

"Please!" he begged.

"She's your dog."

"Por qué," he whined.

"What?"

"Axel taught me," he said smugly. "It means please! In Spanish!"

"Um, ok," I shook my head. "No."

"Fine," he sulked, leaning against the counter. He finally noticed that I was on the phone. "Tell him that I said hi."

"Who do you think I'm talking to?"

"Axel."

"No, it's Naminé."

"Oh...I think it's been long enough." He quickly brought Waggles inside and went back upstairs, while I thought wow, he changed his mind quickly. Obviously _that_ had to do with his little problem concerning Kairi, but whatever.

"Was that Sora?" Naminé said.

"Yeah. Listen, I have to go return Axel's car before it gets dark."

"Ok?"

"He left it at my house," I explained.

"How are you going to do that? Can you drive now?"

"No…I don't know, I'll make him come get it or something."

"Ok. You'd better call me. Because we're friends, right?"

"Yeah," I agreed. "Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and called Axel.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hi. Come get your car."

"That's no way to keep your promise."

"How am I suppose to get it to your house?"

"You should have thought of that before now."

"Well, I didn't," I said crossly.

"Just drive it over."

"I can't drive."

"Do it anyway."

"And kill at least fifteen pedestrians?"

"The world is overpopulated as it is."

"Are your keys even over here?"

"Yeah, they're on the front seat."

"That's a safe place to put them."

"I know, isn't it?"

"Axel, just do it."

"I don't want to walk all the way back over there," he complained.

"Well, you're going to be walking a lot more if-"

"Ok, for crying out loud, I'm going."

"Finally."

Being the lazy person he is, he had Saix drop him off at my house. He drove away and I didn't see him again until lunchtime on Monday.

XxXxX

"Am I missing something?"

Axel laughed at the confused look on Demyx's face; I had just sat down in my usual spot at our lunch table. I couldn't help but feel as confused as Demyx. Nothing was different: Larxene was peering at me as if I was something disgusting stuck to the bottom of her shoe, Zexion had his head in a book, Axel was grinning cockily like a kid who had won an impossible bet, Demyx's face was scrunched up in thought and our trays were sitting in front of us, piled with food that barely passed as edible. The dull buzz of the cafeteria pressed down on our ears and the lunch monitors, paid teachers, took turns watching us like hawks and catching up with their friends.

I scooted my chair in, picking my fork up and digging it into my pile of spaghetti.

"Come on you guys," Demyx whined. "Tell me!"

"Tell you what?" Zexion asked.

"That's the thing, I don't know!"

"I don't know either. Axel? Larxene?"

They both shrugged.

Axel turned to me. "It sucks that Kelly consumed your weekend."

"Tell me about it," I said. "I had to spend all of Saturday with Riku and then on Sunday we were all pretty much under house arrest."

"Why exactly did you spend Saturday with Riku?"

"So we won't fight anymore. Promise me you won't attack him after I say this, ok?"

"What'd he do?"

"You know how on Friday Sora was freaking out?"

"Yeah."

Demyx gasped. "You _did_ spend the night—"

Zexion slapped his hand over Demyx's mouth, blocking the rest of it out. "Idiot," he muttered.

"Um, anyway," I restarted after shooting him an unnerved look, "he—"

"Get off!" Demyx pushed Zexion away. "I get it now, you two are like...you know..."

"Knock it off," Zexion growled. "There happen to be a lot of people around."

"Did you," I lowered my voice, "tell them?"

"O'course not," Axel said. "They're just nosy and figured it out."

"That we're..."

"Yep."

"And that's it?"

"Uh-huh."

"Stop leaving me out of your conversations," Demyx attempted to flick me.

I moved out of the range of fire.

"Demyx, grow up," Larxene rolled her eyes.

"Hey—"

"I'm out of here," she cut him off, grabbing her tray and storming away.

"What's her problem?" I wondered.

"She's the queen of jealousy," Zexion said. "Back to what you were saying, what happened on Friday?"

I finished telling them about my weekend, which had been about as fun and exciting as doing the dishes. Riku and I had the house to ourselves as promised; he had put a movie on, and went back upstairs. When everyone came home, we sat in front of the credits like we had watched it together.

"It was his own fault in the first place" was Axel's take on things.

"I can't believe he punched you in public," Demyx exclaimed.

"Yes, I thought he was smarter than that," Zexion put in.

"Are you sure I can't, maybe, roughen him up a little?" Axel offered, knowing full well that my answer would be no.

His grin widened as I declined. "After school do you want to go to Cherry Creek?"

Demyx answered for me. "Yeah, I've been wanting to go there!"

"I didn't mean you," Axel said flatly. "So, you up for it?" he smiled at me.

"What is it?" I said.

"It's this beautiful place in the forest up near—"

"Demyx, shut up," Axel scowled.

"Sure, but don't you think it's going to be too cold for that?" I replied.

"Can I go too?" Demyx persisted.

"It's nice enough outside, don't ya think?" Axel said.

"I guess," I shrugged.

"It's going to rain," Zexion droned.

"In January? That's ridiculous!" Demyx bursted. "Now can I go?"

"_No_," Axel repeated. "Zexion, there are absolutely no clouds."

"That doesn't mean anything," he countered.

"It means that it isn't going to rain. And even if it did, wouldn't it snow?"

"That all depends on the pressure system."

"Please, Axel!" Demyx begged. "Roxas wants me to go!"

"No, I don't," I said.

"Demyx, no," Axel glared at him.

"How can you two ditch me like this?" he groaned.

"Observe."

Axel grabbed his tray and mine, pushing his chair back. He gestured at me to follow, so I stood up with him. He walked towards the nearest trash can, balancing a tray in each hand, leaving behind a complaining Demyx and a silent Zexion.

"I'm not helpless," I protested, trying to grab my tray.

"Sure you're not."

"I can't tell if you're being serious."

"You'll never know."

"Great," I said wryly. "Did I tell you Naminé is talking to me again?"

"She is?" he asked.

"Yeah, she thought I was cheating on her."

"How'd she figure that one out?"

"Her dreams."

"Her dreams?" He shot me a skeptic look.

"They come true."

"Yeah, right," he rolled his eyes, throwing the remains of our lunches away.

"Oh, yeah? You get sent back to Xemnas because of me."

"What?"

"Beatrice and Marcus."

"Oh, them."

"That's all you have to say?"

"Well—"

As luck would have it, the bell rang, and Axel was saved from having to defend himself. He didn't bother walking me to class like he usually did, probably knowing that I wouldn't let the subject drop.

Cherry Creek, I thought, moving with the crowd of students. I wonder what it's like there. I looked out the window, nervous at the prospect of our first date. Because that's what it was, right? Maybe I should clarify, just to be sure...no, what else could it be? That reminds me—Kelly wants pictures; like that is going to happen...maybe it'll be cancelled, because of the weather. Outside, the sky was a vast horizon of blue, and the sun shone on the snow, making the ground blindingly white. What was Zexion thinking?

As it turned out, he was correct.

By the time I got to Biology, Axel was staring out the window incredulously. Rain was coming down in sheets, hitting against the glass forcefully and running down in little streams. It fell sideways, the wind hissing and the thunder bellowing. The trees' branches look like frail fingers being pulled this way and that by the violence of the storm. Everything was shaded and dark, until lightning forked across the gray clouds, and the world lit up like the climax in a cliché horror movie.

"God is mocking me" was all Axel said.

"This weather is odd," Mr. Frijol remarked, twisting the cap of a dry erase marker and looking out over the class.

I fell into my seat, and Mr. Frijol presented a PowerPoint, his voice becoming harsher as he pressed on with the slides, trying to get us to focus.

The volume would get out of control, and he would exclaim, "Shh! No talking! I know it's the first day back after break..."

I didn't hear the rest because Axel and I had resumed our conversation about what we were going to do once school was out.

By the time we were dismissed, Axel and I hadn't come up with anything, and Mr. Frijol's head was resting on his desk, an empty aspirin bottle in front of him.

Axel's phone began to ring, and he pulled it out, pressing it to his ear. As it turned out, I had been nervous for nothing; Xemnas wanted Axel to help him fix his computer, or something like that, so he had to go home.

Later, I began to realize that I had absolutely _nothing_ to fret about. On our first actual date, Zexion accompanied us. I am not kidding. For the next few weeks, I began to feel more and more frustrated. My journal entries went something like this:

January 11th, 2010

Axel is ridiculous. The past few nights, Zexion has been hanging out with us. All he does is read and act moody. Axel insists that this is because he "doesn't want to put pressure on me"; I don't think he could put pressure on me if he tried. Which he doesn't. I have pointed out that we've spent plenty of time alone before this (Him: That was different), and that Zexion's pessimistic behavior makes me depressed (He just laughed), but he won't budge. Now the only one-on-one time I get with him is when he's driving me to school. Real romantic, huh?

Or, how about:

February 2nd, 2010

Ok. I'm happy that Axel isn't bring a chaperone along with us anymore—that was the stupidest thing ever, I wanted to kill him—but I think if we were moving any slower, we wouldn't even be moving. We have weekly anniversaries, this week marking the fourth, which doesn't do much. It's an excuse to hang out and eat ice cream really. Axel makes things romantic, just not in the ways you'd expect. We hold hands...and that's it. Well, not entirely. He'll kiss my cheek good night, and, sometimes, when I'm lucky, he'll kiss me on the lips for a good two seconds. That's about all the physical affection he'll allow. The other side of it, the gestures, etc, is better. He sends me tons of baked goods—he works at a bakery, remember? They'll show up on the porch, big baskets with this crinkly paper, and I'll tear off the note before anyone can see. Kelly doesn't like having all these sweets around the house, oh well, and everyone seems pretty confused. They must think our neighbors love us or something. And of course, Axel is always telling me the sappiest things like "You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day."

Oh and Naminé was right. About him saying I love you? It wasn't how I imagined it at all; he was leaving my room to head home. "Bye, Roxie, I love you," he says. And I get really embarrassed, telling him to wait because he's already almost out the door. I tried to tell him that I love him too, but I ended up butchering it. "It's ok," he says, unphased. "Tell me when you're ready." I tell him again, and this time it actually came out. Then he's smiling, saying that he might not have voiced it before, but that doesn't mean he hasn't been thinking it. So, yes, I love Axel. I'm happy and...

Would it sound bad to say that I want us to go further? Yeah, that sounds bad. Urg, I mean just the other day, I kissed him too hard or something, and he pulled away, giving me a disproving, yet pleased, look. Confusing.

It takes time, he says. Patience, he says.

I don't want to be patient.

That's why, a week or so later, we had what I dubbed "our first real date." The ironic thing was that it was a dreary day, the sky opening up and dumping buckets, and we hadn't a clue as to how to spend the evening.

Our feet thumped on the school's grimy, tiled floor, echoing louder than usual. The halls were desolate, empty, because we usually lounged around for a few minutes before leaving. That way, everyone would already be gone; without the pressure of being in a sea of high schoolers, and the hundreds of eyes that accompanied it, things were different. We could walk hand-in-hand, which was something we never did during the school day.

"So what do you want to do?" Axel asked as we headed down the hall.

"For the last time, I don't know. I have to go get my coat," I said.

"Ok. We could go to your house or my house?"

"I don't want to go home."

"My house then?"

"There will be other people there."

"As in, Larxene?"

"Yeah."

"We can drive around."

"You'll get us killed."

"I will not."

My set face didn't waver, so he continued. "We can find something to do in the city."

"What would that be?" I began spinning my lock, entering the combination in.

"Something. Roxie, stop being so picky."

"Well—" I stopped, yanking down on the lock. It didn't open. Grumbling, I started over, but it refused to cooperate.

"Here," Axel brushed past me. "What's the combo?"

"21-3-15."

He entered that in, to no avail. "Are you sure?"

"Maybe it's 21-3-14…or 18?" I puzzled.

"Which is it?"

"Uhhh..."

He tried both, and neither worked. "Your bad memory really has screwed you over this time," he sighed. The storm was at full fury, and I was only wearing a t-shirt.

"You think?"

"I'd let you use my coat but I don't have it with me."

"You didn't bring a coat? Are you insane?"

He shrugged. "I dunno, didn't feel like it. I didn't think it was going to start pouring."

"So, what...now?" I paused before saying "now," seeing Sora and Riku headed towards us. I turned in the opposite direction abruptly. "Let's go."

I strode away, a perplexed Axel following me. "You're going to get pneumonia," he protested once we reached the exit.

"I'll live." I pushed the door open, immediately being assaulted by a flurry of ice-cold rain.

"Roxie," Axel said, aghast, as I stepped outside.

"Where's your car?" I yelled over the wind.

He stepped out beside me, letting the door fall close. "What are you doing?" he frowned.

"Leaving." I was already drenched, and chilled to the bone. I looked around, somewhat frantically, but it was hard to keep my eyes focused with the rain falling into them and making me wipe it away roughly.

"C'mon," I heard Axel say before he wrapped his fingers around mine. We ran through the parking lot, our heads bowed and our feet splashing through a freshwater ocean. His car seemed to appear out of nowhere; Axel pulled his keys out, unlocking it from the passenger's side. He didn't let go of my hand until the door was open. I slid inside, my clothes dripping onto the seat and leaving dark circles.

"Damn," Axel slammed his own door shut. "I don't think it's ever rained this hard."

His hair fell around his shoulders, as wet as my own.

"Is that what you look like when you don't use any hair gel?" I wondered out loud.

He squeezed a lock between two fingers disdainfully. "Sort of. Did I mention that I hate rain?" he said darkly.

"Do you just have a problem with water?"

"Nah," he shrugged it off, twisting the key in the ignition.

When we pulled in front of his house, he said, "No complaining. I'm not going to let you get sick, and I assumed that you would prefer this to your house."

"Hmm, Kelly or Larxene? That's a hard one."

"Shush."

Inside, he left me alone in his room to change. He had given me one of his black shirts and a pair of jeans.

"Axel, I don't think this'll work," I let him in. It fit comfortably for the most part, except for how long the pants were. They bagged around my hips, and dragged on the floor, making me step on them.

"If you roll it up," he said thoughtfully. He bent down to do so and it worked for a moment, but soon denim was bunching and pooling over my feet again. "It's only until your clothes get out of the dryer," he reassured.

"Whatever. It's not my fault that you're freakishly tall."

"You really hurt me when you say that, Roxie," he sniffed.

"Then don't call me short."

"I don't recall ever doing that."

"Last week you did. And the week before that and the week before that."

"You have no proof that these incidents occurred."

"I don't need proof because I already know."

He crossed the room, sliding his arms around me, and kissing me. I hadn't been expecting it, to say the least; my mind went blank, completely engrossed on the _now_.

"What were you saying?" he murmured, ending the kiss too soon, like always.

"I...um..."

He stepped away from me, turning his back and digging around in his desk. "Whenever you say something I don't like, I'll do that because it seems to shut you up pretty well."

"Well, then stop dissing my height."

"Your retention has improved."

"You'll never get a job."

"What?" He glanced at me with a mix of confusion and his general air of amusement.

"Because people will run, thinking you're going to eat their children."

"Be quiet, or I'll eat _you_."

"Do it," I challenged.

"Oh, so that's what you were after," he mused. "No, Roxie, I don't mind if you say that."

"Dang."

"Ah-ha!" He triumphantly held up a single, battered up key.

"Um, I'm supposed to be impressed by that?"

"Yes."

"It's a key."

"Boy, it's hard to please you today, isn't it?"

"I'm just saying."

"Say whatever you want but this," he dangled it in front of me, "will make this night a thousand times more interesting."

"Will it now?"

"No more sarcasm out of you," he jabbed my shoulder. "And, yes, it's our savior."

"I doubt that somehow."

"Roxie," he warned.

"What?"

"Stop it."

I laughed. "I don't see what you're so annoyed about."

"You should be ecstatic that I managed to find this."

"What's it to?"

"I am not telling. It's a surprise."

"Does everything have to be a surprise?"

"If you can't get excited about that, at least be excited that you get to spend the night with the most amazing person in the world."

"Will Ferrell?"

"No!"

"We spend every night together," I pointed out.

"But this is different."

"I don't know if I should be scared or not."

"Be very afraid."

He tucked the key in his pocket, and grabbed the coat that was hanging off the chair carelessly, indicating that we were leaving.

I gathered my things together, i.e. my backpack, and asked about my clothes.

"They're probably still wet," Axel said.

"Are we coming back?"

"If you want."

"I can't keep wearing this."

"Why not?"

"It'll drive me crazy. I'm going to end up tripping and cracking my skull open and then my brains will spill out everywhere."

"Thanks for the visuals."

I put my clothes back on, leaving his in a neat pile on his bed. They stuck to my skin, like a muggy coating of sweat, but at least the pants weren't five miles long.

Soon we were back in his car, departing to I-have-no-idea-where.


	29. Firetears

The sky threatened us, rumbling overhead. It was nearly impossible to see through the windshield as rain pelleted down and the savage wind beat against the car. I was afraid that we would slip off the road, the night coming to an abrupt end with entrails and sirens.

"Maybe you should slow down," I said tensely, the images of broken glass and dislocated limbs and crimson red staining the saturated ground still fresh in my mind.

"I'm not going that fast," Axel said, leaning forward to squint at the road. "And we're almost there."

Sure enough, a minute later, he parked, told me that he'd be right back, and left.

I watched rain slid down the window, gaining speed as they combined with other raindrops and grew in size. I jumped when Axel knocked on the roof of the car and I opened the door reluctantly.

"Sorry, we have to walk." He held his hand out to me.

I looked at it, and him, skeptically, now favoring the idea of staying at home, where at least I wouldn't get wet.

"I kid you not," he said, pulling my strangling thoughts back.

I slid my backpack off, took his hand, and stepped outside, grimacing as water engulfed my feet and found their way into my shoes.

My annoyance sank in deeper when I turned to from only-slightly-cold-to-the-point-where-I-could-ignore-it to freezing cold. My toes snapped at me, and I took a few steps only to splash, wade, through more water.

"Argg," I groaned. "Where are we going?"

"It's only a block from here." Axel led the way down the street.

"Only?"

He glanced over at the way I was walking-stiff and careful, as if I was treading on thin ice-and said, "What are you doing?"

"There's a hole in my shoe," I winced, my sneakers squishing underneath me as more water rushing in.

"I could carry you."

"You don't have to do that."

"I've done it before."

"Huh? What are you—"

He scooped me up fluidly, breaking his stride for only a second.

"I'm not helpless," I repeated myself, blushing. His left arm looped around my shoulders while his right supported my legs, underneath my knees.

He beamed down at me. "Biology, 'member?"

"No."

"See, there you go being forgetful again," he chuckled. "We were dissecting pigs, and I had to carry you to the nurse."

"Oh, yeah. Can you put me down now?" I asked awkwardly.

"One sec..."

We arrived at a redbrick building and he set me down. Firetears, the sign said. Sorry, we're closed. The hours were painted into the glass with flourish swipes.

Axel began to unlock it, and I glanced around uneasily. We stepped inside, out of the rain at least, and I stood there, dripping, as the door closed with a small click.

There were art supplies scattered around the room; easels, canvases, chairs and desks spread throughout, and posters that were slapped onto the wall, showing techniques and things like the color wheel, along with an odd assortment of drawings. There was a long counter off to the side, covered with tin cans that held paint brushes, pencils, pens, colored pencils, and markers, along with a heap of paint cans. Industry-sized sinks took up a corner, the silver spouts gleaming despite the lack of lighting. There was a white spiral staircase tucked away, looking rather out of place, and the ceiling had a warehouse feel to it, stretching up far above our heads.

I reached for the light switch, automatically but Axel steered me away from it. "What are we doing in an art studio?" I asked.

"You wanted to be alone, yes?" He held his arm out, presenting the drab room. "And there you have it."

"How did you get a key to this place?" I wandered through the desks.

"One of my foster parents gave it to me. He owns this place."

"Doesn't this count as breaking and entering?"

"I used a _key_."

"Same thing, Axel."

"Nooo," he grinned. "Who's the youngest person in Whoville?"

"What?"

"You know, the youngest person in Whoville. What was the guy's name?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yahoo dores," he sang.

I stopped. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Singing."

"Wow, Axel."

He just laughed at that.

I looked away and ignored him as he continued to sing. He finally shut up when I shot him an evil look.

"Want me to stop singing?" he smirked.

"Duh."

"Then why don't _you_ sing?"

"No!"

"Be my guest..." His eyes fell on my face. "Unless you want me to continue?"

"No, thank you."

"What if I kiss you again?"

He began to show me up the stairs while I told him no, I sing horribly, like a cat that's being strangled, but worse, much, much worse.

"I bet you sing like an angel," he said, grabbing the brass handled on the trapdoor the stairs had led to.

Our conversation evaporated as he disappeared into the square-shaped hole in the ceiling. I stared into it, and he invited me up.

"There's no way I'm going to be able to pull myself up there," I protested.

"C'mon. I'll help you." He crouched next to the opening, reaching down towards me.

"No, you'll drop me!" I drew back.

"I promise I won't drop you," he said patiently.

"That's not something you can promise."

"We can't argue forever, now, can we?"

I couldn't help but think that if he tried to lift me up, I would slip out of his grasp, fall, and hit my head on the railing, tumbling down like a useless rag doll. I'm being paranoid today, I thought, shaking it away and reaching up uncertainly.

He hooked his arms around mine, and with one good tug, I joined him.

It was a loft with a bare, scuffed up floor. Slanted windows revealed...more rain. There was a single recliner, and a small table next to it where a lamp and radio sat. I took it all in, and Axel looped his arms around my waist, hugging me from behind. That swooping sensation filled me-it was an exhilarating feeling that made me weak to my knees, making me want to sit down, or, better yet, turn around and kiss him. It reminded me of a little kid going down the slide for the first time; a tangy mix of excitement and fear seizes you, because it could turn out to be the best thing in the playground, offering hours of fun, or it could be the worst, leaving you with painful scrapes and cuts. We stood there like that for a while, marveling at nothing.

Then he stepped away from me, running his hand through his hair like he felt guilty. "I have to go get some things," he said.

"Get what?" I frowned.

"Things."

"For what?"

"For life."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Would you rather I stay here?"

"Yeah, it's not like I _want_ you to ditch me."

"It's not ditching, it's leaving for a short period of time. Do you want to freeze?"

The second he mentioned it, I shivered, proving his point. I was drenched, and it was like being encased in ice. So yes, I was _a bit_ cold, especially since Axel was now on the other side of the room, but I still didn't want to be left up here alone.

His face seemed torn as he said, "It won't take long, ok?"

I nodded unhappily. He smiled encouragingly, and dropped out of sight.

It was ok there for a while. I sat on the chair, and zoned out, the pattering of the rain lulling me into a meditation-like state. I loved that sound. Hey, there _was_ something about Maryland that I didn't despise. It never seemed to rain enough in Montana, it was always snow, fat flakes piling up around you until you feel claustrophobic, and even when it did rain, it was a weak drizzling that had no effect on me. This, the gentle tinking noises on the roof, the hollowed out, safe feeling that settled inside, made me feel like I was drifting away from my body like a balloon rising up past the clouds. Light, carefree. I dove for it, seeking comfort in the nothingness. I considered closing my eyes and letting it take over completely...as my eyelids began to feel heavy, and as they started to droop of their own accord, was when the atmosphere changed. The air itself was pressing down on me, heavy and thick. My eyes sprang open, and swept the small space, looking for anything out of place. The intense feeling of being watched dug into my back, and my head snapped in that direction. Nothing. I heard the floorboards creak like the moan of a dying, old man, but still, nothing. My imagination, I thought. It's playing tricks on me. Despite that, when a faint, whispery voice materialized, I searched for the source desperately. It was a weak, scared voice. One that belongs to a submissive individual who jumps at sudden movements, whose eyes never seem to stop moving. Someone who has been hurt time and time again, and just wishes for it to stop. The voice faltered, and a new voice rose above it. This one was loud, angry, overbearing. It shouted, louder and louder; but there was no one in the room with me. No one. Syllables began to connect, and became distinct and clear, so that I could tell what it was saying. The first voice was back, and I heard a panicked, "No! Don't! He's only a child!" I _knew_ that voice. It was my mom.

I turned, and she was there, crouched on the floor, sobbing with her hands over her face. A trail of blood ran down her nightgown, and a horrible stench filled me. Iron, rust, decay, rotting flesh. I gagged, but still managed to fumble towards her. I have to help her! Mom—

I stopped. My dad was over her, screaming so hard that spit flew out of his mouth, and his face turned that ugly beet-red color. The words came out mashed together, hacked up. Totally incoherent.

He slapped her, and she fell over, howling in pain. I ran to her side, and neither of them seemed to take notice of me.

I tried to tell him to stop, to tell him that he couldn't do this, that I would tell someone-anyone-that he was doing this, something so horrifying and vile—

The words knotted in my throat and spilled out, utterly useless. I ended up saying something to the equivalent of "Someone...can't...no..."

I covered my mom's tiny frame with my own as he tried to beat her. To my dismay, and pain, he kicked me out of the way. I recoiled, my head banging against the floor and throbbing. I somehow managed to grab my mom's shoulders and drag her out of harm's way.

"Mom? Are you—"

I cut off abruptly. Her body was stiff. Cold. Unbearably cold. I let go of her, my fingers burning, and her body fell, her eyes staring up at me vacantly, a thin film covering them and making the blue look glassy and fake. I began to scream.

"Shush, boy," my dad growled.

He advanced towards me, and I lashed out, terrified.

His face changed, looking hurt. It didn't look like my dad, it looked like...my vision blurred, and I blinked Axel into focus.

Axel. Food items spilled out everywhere. A plastic bag laying deflated. A Styrofoam cup lay on its side near my feet, hot chocolate pouring out. Axel, another cup in his hand, stared at me, his eyes wide as a red mark grew on his arm.

"Mierda," he muttered.

His eyes met mine, and I immediately understood. I had knocked the cup out of his hands, and the hot liquid had scorched his arm.

"Oh my god," I gasped. "Are you ok?"

"I should be asking you that."

"Did you, uh, see that?"

"See what?"

"My..."

"What?" he asked, confused. "When I got up here, you were asleep, and then out of nowhere, you hit everything out of my hands..." He held his palms up cautiously, as if I was going to attack him.

"What the..."

"Are you alright?"

"No. Yeah." I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Which is it?"

"Uhhh, yes? It was just a dream."

"What about?"

"...I was being attacked by sharks."

Axel stared at me like I was a lunatic.

"Err," I tried to come up with an explanation, "what did you feed me?"

"I…haven't fed you," he glanced meaningfully at the bag of food on the floor.

"Oh, right. Maybe it was the school's food."

"Maybe? Seriously, are you—" He stepped towards me. "Oh, shit."

He rushed out, and left me standing there, drenched in sweat, and filled with an unpleasant, clammy feeling. Once he was gone, I released my bunched-up muscles. It was way worse now, hitting me like a brick wall. I started to shake violently, biting down on my lip hard enough to cut it open; I got a taste of metallic blood, and swallowed it, hard, trying not to scream, trying not to think about the look on my mom's face. I broke down completely, no longer putting on a calm mask on for Axel's sake.

But, of course, he came back in due time, a roll of paper towels in his hands. He began to clean the mess up, glancing at me. He did a double take, already worried. I had made myself stop crying, which essentially did nothing. It was written into my face, and he dropped everything.

"Roxas?" he asked, his voice unsure.

"It was just," I croaked, "a n-nightmare."

Within the next second, he was clutching me tightly, rubbing my back gently. This made me start crying all over again, pressing my face into his shirt. When my shaking eased, and my breaths were slowed and controlled, he let go of me, with his usual Twenty Q.

"I'm fine," I said; "It's from all those horror movies I watch," I said; "It's nothing, I'm sorry," I said.

He pressed the lone hot chocolate in my hands, and had me sit back down. Once he was done mopping everything up, he discarded it, and leaned against the wall near me.

"I'm sorry," I repeated.

"You don't have to say that." He shook his head. "It's not your fault."

"Still—"

"Roxas, I know this is weird."

"What?" I said, taken aback.

"We're weird."

"Uh…I guess."

"Relationships are always awkward in the beginning. You're figuring out where you stand, how it works."

"Yeah," I said slowly.

"And I get that. It's how it is," he continued. "Even so, I can't help but wish that you would tell me what's going on."

"Nothing is going on."

"Don't give me that."

"It was my mom, ok?"

"In the dream?"

"Yes."

"That's all you had to say, Roxie," he smiled weakly. "I did actually find it hard to believe that you dreamt about sharks."

"Yeah...don't know why I said that."

"Because you can't lie."

"That's what you think," I muttered.

"What was that?"

"I said yeah."

"I heard you, little liar," he said playfully. He was obviously happy because he thought that I had told him everything, that I was being sincere. His smile wasn't smug or conceited, just cheerful, and his eyes were lit up as he tilted his head, gazing towards me, waiting for my response.

Like always, I wouldn't tell him everything.

"Oh, but you didn't hear the part about you and your fat head," I said.

"It has to be big to fit my exceptionally large cranium."

"Axel?"

"What?" He grinned.

"You're a freak."

"Why, thank you, Roxie. I'm touched."

"Of course you are," I rolled my eyes. "Food?"

He nodded, and rummaged through the bag. We ate, sitting on the floor across from each other and talking. Afterwards, he turned the radio on. The station had a mix of music and it wrapped around the edges of our conversations. The first thing we did that was couple-ish was dance.

Did I ever mention that I can't dance? That I find it embarrassing, more so than most things? It makes me feel self-conscious and shows people how clumsy I am. "Just move to the music!" my friends, i.e. Olette, would tell me. That doesn't work, I don't know what to do with myself. Move my hips? Not possible. Step around? Uh, that's like walking. Clap my hands? That's tacky. Head bang? _No._ Look around and copy others? I would try, but whenever I went to a dance, most of the people seemed to be grinding on each other (…..), jumping around (which gets tiring), or doing complicated things that I will never be able to follow in a million years. And the only person I could copy here was Axel. And Axel was the person who made me feel the most self-conscious in the first place. So, when a song came on that Axel apparently loves, and he dragged me up onto my feet, and began to dance, I didn't really know what to do. The song had a fast beat, and he was all over the place, while I just kind of stood there, arms crossed over my chest. I found myself laughing at how ridiculous Axel looked, leaping around the room like an overly excited, lanky child. He sang off-key, laughing with me.

"C'mon, Roxas, dance," he beamed, grabbing my arm and twirling me around.

"I thought you didn't like dancing," I said as he released me and I went back to standing there stiffly.

"That all depends." He held an imaginary microphone to his mouth, singing to the chorus and bobbing his head. I snorted back another round of laughter. The song was coming to an end, and I had gotten away with not dancing.

A slow song came on, and before I knew it, Axel was wrapped around me like a scarf, his hand on my waist as we swayed to it. He guided me through it, so I didn't have to worry about what I was supposed to be doing. Just follow him, don't step on his feet, don't hold onto his hand too tightly, making him wince and smile at how embarrassed it makes you feel. At the end, he bowed me suddenly, and I'm sure by then my face was redder than ever.

We sat down, his arm around me, and my heart hammering like I'd ran a mile or two.

We didn't say anything-there was no need to. We were both content with sitting there, our backs pressed against the wall, and the silence speaking for us. I was so much warmer pressed against him like that.

I should have been at least a little bit drowsy, because of how comfortable it was, and because I had barely slept a wink the night before, nervous about _this_, but somehow I wasn't. It was probably because I wanted this to last. It felt amazing being there with him. Not worrying about how to act, not suffering through my family's antics, not thinking about my mom or my dad, just sitting there, the radio playing softly, an idyllic atmosphere filling the room, rapture knowing that Axel felt the same. I nestled in closer, resting my head on his shoulder.

"You're really cuddly, you know that?" Axel said.

"Shut up," I muttered.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing..." He kissed my cheek lightly.

"Stop teasing me."

"I'm not teasing you." His lips grazed the side of my face, making me shiver. That made him smug, and he continued. I grew irritated, and pushed his head away, kissing him more forcefully than I intended to.

I was more than a little shocked when he reacted...well, enthusiastically. He pushed me away, and then he was on top of me, holding himself over me with his arms, his green eyes gleaming, his smile growing. I blinked, flushing. His hips pinned me against the floor, and his hair tickled the sides of my face. It started out innocent enough, chaste kisses with enough time in-between for him to watch my reactions. Whenever he began to pull away, I would dig my fingers into his hair and shove him back towards me, at which point he would grin and brush his lips lightly against mine, a mischievous look on his face, like he was amused at my response. Which he was, I'm sure. At some point, it became more serious. He slipped his tongue in my mouth, and I almost chocked in surprise, but I just threw myself fully into it, kissing him back with urgency. It didn't go much further than that; Axel was sort of necking me, and I trembled in anticipation, making the mistake of slipping my hand around the waistband of his jeans—

He sat up abruptly. "No, Roxas."

Damn.

I straightened as well, cursing my stupidity. I don't know why I did that...I got lost in the moment, I guess. I wasn't use to this, certainly not with this level of intensity. I kissed Naminé once, remember?

"Sorry," I bowed my head.

"I shouldn't have let it get that far to begin with."

I squirmed. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"No, but how would I live with myself if something happened? Don't you remember me saying that teenagers having sex is stupid?"

"No..."

"Of course not," he chuckled.

"No, wait, that was when you told me that you're a virgin."

"Yep."

"I don't see how it's so stupid..." I started. "It's not like we have to worry about unplanned pregnancy and...if we're both virgins..."

"Roxie," he said gently, "even so, don't you want to make sure it's the right person?"

"Yes...but...you..."

"You're so cute when you're embarrassed."

"And so you've told me. Stop saying that."

"But it's true. And as flattered as I am, and however much I care about you, we don't know what will happen after this, do we?"

"No," I admitted.

"Do you see what I'm saying?"

"I guess..."

"And, besides, we're in an art studio, remember?"

"Yeah."

"And I don't make it a rule to carry condoms with me, ya know? I don't have anything with me is a good excuse."

"Me neither...wait, I have one in my wallet."

"You do?" He laughed.

"My mom had me put it in there when I was twelve."

"_Twelve_?"

"Yeah," I laughed with him. "She freaked me out pretty bad, telling me that I might need it, especially if I keep hanging out with Naminé."

"Oh geez. I think Zexion was the only person to give me the sex speech."

"What?" I covered my mouth, giggling.

"Yeah, things like that make Xemnas uncomfortable, so Zexion made me watch a video about it. One of those brutally honest, scientific ones that have whole segments about labor and STDs. Then I asked him what would happen if two guys did it, and I think he practically died."

"What'd he tell you?"

"That if I have sex that young, I'll die from AIDS."

"Oh...and he's younger than you," I realized, laughing harder.

"Tell me about it! Even then he was a little bookworm. He still knows more than I do."

"Yeah. Oh, hey, guess what?" I said as it popped in my head.

"What?"

"I got a seventy-five on my Geometry final!"

"...congratulations?"

"It's a C. I thought I completely bombed it."

"Well, then, good job. I take full credit of course."

"But I'm the one who did all the work." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You were the one who couldn't focus."

"That's because...yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Because I felt so awkward around you, which is not my fault."

"Yes, it's my fault for being so incredible."

"Yes, Axel, that's it," I said wryly.

"And I suppose it's also my fault that you fell for me?"

"Yeah," I agreed.

"You did fall pretty hard," he noted.

"I couldn't help it—" I stopped as he smirked. "Axel!" I smacked the back of his head after I realized what he was saying. "That balcony is dangerous, ok?"

He laughed. "If you wanted to get my attention so badly, you could have just talked to me. There was no need to throw yourself out of a window."

"Yes, I saw you and decided that the opportunity was too great to pass up," I said sarcastically.

"It happens, it happens," he grinned.

"Has anyone ever told you that you look like the Cheshire cat?"

"The what?"

"From Alice in Wonderland."

"Oh. No, never."

"Well, you just look like a cat in general," I said thoughtfully.

"Ok? Is that a good thing?"

"It's better than looking like a dog. Cats are quiet, dogs are loud and obnoxious and follow you everywhere."

"Waggles?"

"Yeah, I want to kill that thing."

"We could make it look like an accident. Picture this: she drowns in the pond while we're inside watching TV. Yeah? Yeah."

"Thanks for the offer, really, but I value my life too much to do that."

"Yes, it would be dreadful if Riku wrung your neck," he cradled my chin, kissing me for a second.

"So what do I look like?"

"Hmm. Roxas."

"What else?"

"Hmm. Roxas."

"And?"

"And that's it."

"I don't even look like anyone famous?"

"You kinda remind me of Jesse McCartney."

"Seriously?"

"I don't know why," he shrugged.

"Take that back," I demanded.

"Ok, fine, you look like Roxas, but I would never ever say that you look like that one Jessie person."

"Thank you."

"You are very welcome. Ready for dessert?"

"Is it you?"

"Yes, it is," he said, smoothly scooping me up into his lap and kissing my neck. "No, really," he said after a second.

"Sure."

"We're going to have to leave then, and afterwards I'll take you home. Sound good?"

"No."

"Why ever not?"

"It can't be time to go home."

"Well, it is. It's already nine."

"Really?"

"Yep. What time do you have to be home?"

"Whenever."

"Ok, then. But it _is_ a school night."

"You're not my mother."

"And I am eternally grateful for that. Because if I was, I wouldn't be able to do this." He traced the outline of my lips with his tongue, and I tried not to giggle. "Onward."

We stood up. "Why?" I complained.

"Roxas, I could have blackmailed you instead."

"What?"

"About your sleeping medication. Because you haven't gotten told Kelly yet, have you?"

"I'm getting there," I said stubbornly.

"Sure, sure. I'll bug you about that later, k?"

"Whatever, you would never do that to me."

"Of course I wouldn't." He gathered everything, opening the trapdoor. "Are you going to need help down?...I guess not."

I had scooted down, holding myself up by my fingers until my feet touched the staircase.

We left, and I was happy to see that the rain was starting to die down. After a trip to get sea-salt ice cream, which Axel insists is "our thing" or something like that, we got back into his car, the rain still pattering halfheartedly.

"I would say that went pretty well, wouldn't you?" he asked, finishing off the last of his.

"Except for the part where I fell asleep," I said, only halfway through mine.

"You're supposed to do that at home," he chuckled. "A dream is a dream."

"Uh-huh."

"What do you want to do tomorrow?"

"Hmm, let's travel the world."

"Gotchya." He started the car, and the radio came on, playing a Seal song that my mom absolutely adored. That was how I knew all the words. It wasn't the type of music I listen to, but it still made me happy to sit there with it playing.

We drove slowly, listening to it. By the time the chorus came, I had eaten all my ice cream. I was compelled to sing with it, which was pretty normal. But I opened my mouth and did so, which was not normal at all. Under most circumstances, if I decided to sing, it would be quietly, barely above a whisper. But, no, I sang it as loud as the singer himself.

"And now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the gray..."

I continued until the end. Axel didn't say anything at first. When he did, however, it was to tell me that he didn't understand why I didn't sing more often, if I loved to, because I was actually pretty good, better than Jessie McCartney.

"Thanks," I said flustered. "I don't even know why I did that."

"Because you wanted to?"

I shrugged.

We were in front of my house, so I knew that I was going to be forced to go inside, and he was going to be forced to leave, and that I wouldn't see him until the morning, which wasn't really that long, really, but it sure as hell seemed like it.

A good night kiss, and I found myself walking onto the porch.

Everyone, and I mean _everyone_, was seated in the living room, staring at me as I entered. That was unexpected. Kelly perched on the arm of the couch, where my dad was sitting, and Riku and Sora were sitting together next to him. Waggles was curled up in the corner, snoring softly.

"Um, hello," I said, already reaching for the handrail of the stairs.

"Where do you think you are going?" my dad growled, making me cringe.

"To my room?"

"Roxas, we need to talk," Kelly said. "Where have you been?"

"Where have I..." I glanced around. "What do you mean?"

"Where have you been all these nights?"

"At—"

"I would think carefully before answering," my dad warned. "We won't tolerate lies."

"Um, I was..."

"Please, just tell the truth," Kelly begged.

"I was at Axel's house."

"That's what I said," Riku muttered.

"Oh, thank god, that's where you were!" Kelly cried. "Thought you were..."

"Where else would I be?" I asked, confused.

"The plays were tonight."

"The plays?"

"The drama performances."

"Oh." I stopped.

"We went, and neither you nor Axel were a part of the cast."

"Oh."

"Oh?" my dad snapped.

"Why did you tell us that you were in drama?" Kelly asked.

"I...don't know," I said.

"We need to know where you are. Especially in a big city like this, Roxas, we need to know."

"Ok."

Sora glanced at me, upset. He tried to say something, but I couldn't understand him.

"I'm sorry," I said when they were silent.

"We accept your apology," Kelly said. "But please, please, if you want to go to Axel's house after school, let me know beforehand."

"Ok."

"What were you thinking?" my dad demanded.

"I...wasn't."

"_Obviously_."

"What were you doing over there so late?" Kelly continued.

"I was...I mean, we...were just hanging out," I answered, staring at my feet so that I wouldn't have to see my dad's livid face.

"And that's all you were doing? No drugs, no sex—"

"Of course not," I bursted, while my dad blinked.

"Sex?" he asked slowly.

"Well," Kelly said timidly, "they _are_ going out."

"I never said—"

My dad cut me off. "What?"

"Roxas and Axel are going out," Riku supplied.

"For how long?"

"I don't really know," Kelly murmured. "Honey, it's fine."

"Why did I not know?"

"We wanted him to tell you himself." She rubbed his shoulders reassuringly. "Now, Roxas, how do you think you should be punished?"

"I don't know. Grounded?" I answered.

"How about he can't see Axel for the rest of the week?" Riku, evil, malicious Riku, suggested.

"What? That's not—" I protested.

"Roxas, you are not in the position to bargain," my dad glared. "Now go upstairs and go to bed this instant."

I obliged, however angry I was. I was still cursing them when I fall asleep.


	30. Divulge

After that horrible week, things were looking up. Kelly was overjoyed when I told, um, admitted, to her that Axel and I had already been on our first date, and she responded by letting us have "Date Nights." This started out as Fridays and Saturdays until midnight but she eventually caved, allowing Mondays and Wednesdays as well. Axel was invited to our house on a regular basis, where Kelly would smile, smile, ask us questions while Sora would smile, smile, and try to get us to play games with him. My dad and Riku weren't as open about what they thought of him, just really quiet. Axel and I would go out to places-to the movies, to restaurants, even to the arcade once-and if we couldn't think of anything to do, we would drive around, or lounged in one of our houses. Things were really, really great. And this was how we fell into our relationship.

"Roxas, look up! Lookkkk uppp!"

I pulled myself out of my daydreams to see Jessica standing in front of the table, holding a camera up. It flashed, blinding me, and she beamed.

"What was that for?" I mumbled, annoyed.

"Yearbook! Hey, Axel," she added.

"Hey," he said, still bent over a piece of paper, writing feverishly.

"What are you two up to?"

"Yes, what _are_ you two up to?" Mr. Frijol appeared, giving us the evil eye. It didn't suit him.

"Um, we're—" I started.

"We're reading about Darwin's theory of natural selection," Axel said smoothly, gesturing towards his open textbook. The paper was already safely out of sight.

"Good," Mr. Frijol said, walking away.

"Someone decided to grow a backbone," I glared at him.

"Actually," Axel said to Jessica happily, taking the paper back out, "we're planning our thirteenth week anniversary."

"Yeah and _someone_ won't let me in on any of it," I stared at him pointedly.

"Thirteen weeks...that's three months, right?" Jessica asked.

"Yep," Axel said, continuing to write.

"I'm so glad you two told me," she glanced around. Like anyone would hear her, our class is so loud and rowdy. "It's cuter than Sora and Riku even, though I don't know why you don't tell anyone else."

"Don't want to."

"If I guess it, will you tell me?" I cut in, poking Axel's side.

"Maybe."

"Cherry Creek?"

"No, Roxie, we went there last week."

"Ok, then—"

"Hey, tomorrow's April 1st," Jessica's face brightened.

"Oh god, are you going to pull a prank on me?" I tried to grab the paper but it miraculously vanished and Axel grinned.

"No," he said.

I gave him a skeptical look, which made his grin widen. "Promise," he told me.

"_I was saying_ that tomorrow is the first day of spring break!" Jessica exclaimed. "A whole week of bliss!"

"Yep."

"I think it would be so romantic to marry in the spring. Don't you think? It would be..."

Marry. That made me think about my dad and Kelly's wedding. It was...ok, for the most part. Kelly's family and friends were all pretty weird (her bridesmaids pulled out ukuleles and kazoos during the reception and started singing) and watching my dad try to suck off Kelly's face wasn't exactly pleasant, but, on the plus side, Axel was there to make fun of every second, and he does look really good in a tie. The house was empty for a week while they were at Hawaii for their honeymoon, and we didn't have a babysitter, despite how nervous Kelly was. She called every freaking hour to make up for it, and I dropped my phone in the toilet, which didn't break it somehow, so I turned it off, telling her later that I'd lost the charger. That week actually turned out to be a vacation of sorts for both Riku and I. I could stay at Axel's for as long as I wanted, and Riku could drink as much as he wanted. From my understanding, he told Sora that it was apple juice; Sora kept telling me that it was really weird and disgusting—

"Are you listening to me?" Jessica whined.

"What?" I asked.

"You're such a space cadet. So, what are your plans? Going anywhere?"

"Uh, other than things _he _won't tell me," I shot Axel a look, and he chuckled, "not really."

"I'm going to eat and sleep. Oh and—"

I had been sleeping better, without even getting a new prescription. I no longer needed it, which made my life a lot easier. I would usually talk to Axel on the phone until I drifted off. And on nights where sleep was evasive, Axel could easily sneak into my room to—

"—it's going to be amazing!" Jessica proclaimed, snapping me back to the present.

"Uh-huh," I drawled.

"I'm bugging you two, aren't I?"

"Yes," Axel said.

"No," I said.

We glanced at each other.

"A little bit," I amended.

"I'm just excited—smile!" She took another picture. "Ok, I have to go. See you later!"

A little wiggle of her fingers, and she was gone.

"So," I said causally, "what are we doing tomorrow?"

"None of you business," Axel replied.

"Dang. Are we going to play guitar tonight?"

"Yeah, although I don't know what else to teach you."

"And so the student surpasses the master."

"In your dreams. Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you this," he smirked.

"What?"

"I was talking to Naminé last night—"

"I don't see why you think you've inherited all my friends," I complained.

"She's interesting."

"Don't want to punch her in the face, do you?"

"No," he shoved my shoulder. "But she's much better than that one guy."

"Hayner?"

"Yeah, all he ever says are mean, perverted things, like 'how was Roxas last night?'"

"That's Hayner for you."

"Yeah, whatever. Naminé said that you're ticklish."

I grunted, unimpressed. "Only in one place."

"Your stomach."

"Don't. You. Dare," I warned.

"Like I'd do that in class. I was talking about _later_—"

I groaned. "The two of you are bad news."

"And she told me that I'm the best thing that could've happened to you."

"Did she now?"

"Yep. And she said that you've changed."

"Ok."

"You have, you know. I remember when I first met you, you looked so depressed. Like you hated the whole world, and wanted everyone to know it. But you're not like that anymore."

"Well, that's good."

"Still sarcastic thought."

"That wasn't sarcastic."

"Sure it wasn't."

"You're still conceited as ever," I shot back.

"I didn't even say anything."

"You didn't have to," I snorted.

I was happy when the bell rang; I wanted it to be tomorrow already, wondering what Axel could possibly have up his sleeve...

"I'll have to pick you up later," Axel told me as he dropped me off. "I have to work for a few hours."

"Bring me another cake."

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye."

I jumped out. Once inside, I did my usually kick-off-shoes-dump-backpack-on-floor, and went into the kitchen for a snack.

My dad was in there, putting dishes away. He slid the last plate into the cabinet, closing it, and glancing at me.

"Hi dad," I greeted. "What are you doing home so early?"

"I put in some overtime, so I decided to take a break," he said.

That didn't sound like him at all, but I didn't question it. Rather, I unwrapped a granola bar, taking a bite. "I'm going to take my guitar over to Axel's."

"Still hanging out with that faggot, are you?"

Ok, I was used to him dissing me, but not anyone else. I clenched my fists angrily, becoming more daring—as in, more reckless. "Don't call him that," I forced myself to say calmly.

"Getting protective over your lover? Well, I hope he burns in hell with the rest of—"

He was baiting me and I knew it; I should have walked away, should have kept my mouth shut, shouldn't have given in. But instead I screamed at him, something vulgar and profane.

"I never thought that I would raise such a weak, disgraceful child. You disgust me. That hag you call your boyfriend disgusts me," he yelled.

"If you haven't noticed, _dad_, your in-laws are just as gay! And I don't see you—"

"If it wasn't for you, your mother would be alive and we would be happy!"

He had undermined me for my sexuality before, but he had reached a new low. I couldn't find the words I wanted to hurl at him, because I was shocked, immobilized. He stepped towards me, and the frightened child in me appeared, and I slinked away.

He grabbed a fistful of my hair and threw me. I caught myself, but before I could do anything, he was beating every inch of me. I fell to the floor, the world spinning and blurring as tears filled my eyes. I was starting to block him out, blocking away the throbbing pain pulsating through me, blocking away the awful cracking noise my ankle made as he stepped on it. I was screaming, but it sounded far, far away. I was trying to protect myself by doing this. I was trying to keep myself safe, but I was inevitably doing the opposite. I put up with him abusing me like this—and for what? So he could keep doing it? So I could flinch whenever he approached me, so I could hide the bruises from Axel? I don't need to put up with this; I don't deserve this. No one does. It might have taken me a while to realize that, but when I did, my mind refocused. I had rolled up in a ball, facing the wall as he kicked my back relentlessly. I stumbled to my feet, my hands groping onto the wall for support.

"What do you think you're doing?" my dad snarled.

"Stop it!" I pleaded.

In response, he grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently.

"Stop...it," I repeated, sobbing.

"You can't even take this?" His knuckle slammed into my jaw, and my mouth filled with blood.

Somehow, he got hold of a nearby plate and swung at my head. I ducked, but he got a part of me near my ear and I gasped in pain. I heard it shatter on the floor.

I had to get away. I shook him off desperately, praying that someone would come, screaming until my lungs hurt.

I managed to get to the entryway before he was grabbing me, his nails digging into my skin, and his harsh breath in my face.

He tried to push me against the wall, but I began hitting any part of him that I could reach. He fell back, surprised; I never fought back, never.

I yanked the door open, and wobbled outside. He didn't follow me. I wanted to run, but couldn't. My ankle was jolting, making me limp, and I leaned heavily on my left side. He always seems to go for my feet, I thought, grimacing, the ruthless asphalt digging into my feet with each step.

The only place I could think of to go was Axel's, even though he would still be at work. Each block was worse than the last, my body shrieking in the warm sunlight and my head pounding. He beat her, I thought. He beat her.

I had known that the entire time. I hadn't wanted to admit it, instead repressed it like everything else. He had hurt my mom, and now he was doing the same to me. Oh, mom, how did this happen, I couldn't help thinking, another wave of pain rushing through me. I reached up, and felt something warm and wet. Oh, shit, I thought; now that I was aware of the blood coating my hair, I felt dizzy and light-headed, spots sppearing in front of my vision.

"Good afternoon—Roxas?"

I had made it somehow. I smiled weakly at Xemnas, not knowing how I looked. It must have been pretty bad, considering his eyes seemed to be bulging out of his head.

He quickly let me inside, asking what happened.

I ignored the question, wanting to know when Axel would be home.

"He's scheduled for at least another hour," he told me. "Are you ok?"

I fell into a seat, my ankle burning. "Yeah," I moaned.

He bent down, his cool fingers pushing my sock down. He examined my ankle, coming to the conclusion that it wasn't broken, just badly swollen. Then he discovered my head, and he seemed to curse softly to himself. He wanted to take me to the hospital, but I refused, insisting that I was going to wait for Axel.

So he went to work, despite my protests. He wrapped ice around my ankle, and bandaged up a few cuts. He cleaned my hair, having me lean in front of the sink to do so, and wrapped it up in gauze. Then he took me to the bathroom so I could wash my face and rinse my mouth out. I gawked at my reflection for a moment; random bruises were already forming all over me, the worst being the finger-shaped ones on my arms. Drops of blood stained the front of my t-shirt, having spilled out of my mouth. My hair was sticking up all over the place, still wet, I had a black eye, and my ankle was puffy and red.

When I was done, I sat back on the couch to wait for Axel. I didn't want to get his boss mad at him or anything, which I'm sure I've probably already done before, but oh well.

Xemnas seemed very worried about my head, saying I had had been pretty lucky because it had been closer to the top of my head. He talked to me for a while, his voice calming. He didn't pry, and for that, I was grateful. He showed real concern, like a true father would.

Larxene ended up coming downstairs to find us there. "What happened to you?" she asked within seconds.

"Nothing," I said, wishing Axel was here already.

"It sure as hell doesn't look like nothing," she paused. "Do you need some ibuprofen or something?"

"No, but thanks."

"Ok. Xemnas, I'm going over to Jenn's place. Want me to pick anything up on the way?"

"No, give her mom my greetings," Xemnas replied.

She disappeared. "Wow, she's being nice," I commented.

"Yes. I do believe that is Axel, so I will be on my way."

He was gone by the time Axel stepped in the door. He didn't notice me at first, looking down at the paper bag in his hands, which was slipping. He got a better grip on it, and shoved his keys in his pocket.

"Jesus Christ," he gasped.

That's when he noticed me.

He practically ran to my side, setting the bag out of the way, and bent over until we were at eye level, sitting on his knees in front of me. He cautiously brushed his fingers over the bruises on my arms, and I sat there silently. He just kept repeating "oh my god...oh my god..." as he took it all in. I burst into tears, threw my arms around him, and buried my face in the cape of his neck. He hugged me to his chest, very gently, as to not hurt me. My sobs were loud and messy, but I couldn't restrain it in the slightest. Just cried and cried and cried until my eyes and throat were rubbed raw, and I couldn't breathe, and my whole body ached more than ever. I pulled away, wiping my cheeks off with the edge of my sleeve.

Axel got up and sat down next to me. "Roxas, what happened?" His eyes never left my face; he need an answer, needed to know. But not yet. I couldn't think, my mouth was not connected to my brain, so the words wouldn't come. I clung to him, exhausted and sore. My eyes began to close despite my best attempts to stop them. I didn't fall asleep—only hovered on the edge of consciousness, my mind blank. Axel rocked me very slightly, rubbing my back in an attempt to sooth me to sleep, even though I'm sure he was dying to talk to me. Eventually, I came to.

"Axel?" My voice was harsh and scratchy. I cleared my throat, and tried again. "Axel?" That was better.

"Hm?" he asked softly.

"My dad...he..."

"He did this to you?" He pulled away so that he could look at me, his eyes narrow.

"Yeah," I croaked.

"That...bastard," he spat, so angry that he was shaking.

"I tried to tell you before," I swallowed. "But I couldn't."

"For how long has he been doing this?"

"For...a while."

"Did you call the police?"

"N-No."

"You came all the way here, but you didn't call the police?" He started to pull his cell phone out, but I grabbed his arm.

"Don't."

"Roxas," he said calmly. "You need to tell someone."

"I told you."

"Someone other than me."

"Later...ok?"

"But—"

"Can I stay the night?"

"Yes, but—"

"I'll need my things."

"I know, but—"

"I'll call social services, alright? But I need the woman's card."

I quickly relayed to him about that far off day where that couple had showed up at my house for a "check-up." What had their names been? Carolyn and something...

"Well," he paused, mulling it over in his head, "ok. Do you want me to go get your things? I don't think it's a good idea for you go back. I could just grab your toothbrush or whatever, and come straight back. Or we could stay here even."

"No, I'll do it."

"What if he's still there?"

"You'll be with me. And I have a feeling that he's already back at work."

He helped me up. He was dismayed that I didn't bring shoes, that I had walked here in my socks, which were now filthy. We drove over to my house and whenever my heart began to speed up, I would have to remind myself that my dad wouldn't do anything, not with a pissed-off Axel next to me.

I was right—his car was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief, and Axel followed me inside.

I had expected the house to be empty, and eerily silent. I guess that wouldn't have made sense, it I had took notice of Riku's truck outside. Within seconds, we heard Sora shrieking and giggling; he ran by breathlessly, running into the kitchen. Riku walked after him coolly, glancing at us. He stopped and stared at me.

"Did you get hit by a bus?" was his response.

"Um, no," I said. "I'm staying at Axel's tonight."

"Why?"

"Rikuuuuu!" Sora called. "You're a slow poke!"

He came back, impatiently. He, too, stopped and stared at me.

"Roxas?" he whined, panicked. "Roxas?"

He tried to grab at me, which failed because I moved away, shaking my head.

"We have to get going," Axel explained.

"Ok...?" Riku gave me a weird look as we climbed the stairs.

I grabbed some clothes, throwing them into an overnight bag and went back downstairs. I put my shoes on slowly and carefully, having already discarded the ice, and pulled out that sunny card. I tucked it in my pocket, not wanting to look at it, and soon we were on our way. I would learn later that the circumstances were against me: my dad had lost a client earlier that day, Kelly was a parenting class (isn't that ironic?), and Sora and Riku had gone to the grocery store afterschool to buy a few things.

That night, I called that woman. Someone else answered, and just told me to stop in tomorrow. I felt bad about ruining Axel's plans for our anniversary, but he told me not to worry, it could be postponed. Xemnas gave me my own room, but I slept in Axel's room anyway, both of us crammed onto his bed.

XxXxX

"How can I help you?" the secretary asked briskly.

Axel and I had headed over to social services early the next morning, after a fretful night filled with our voices as I tried to sleep. This building set my teeth on edge; we had to go onto an elevator and down multiple hallways to find this section, "Human Resources", and now we were trying to figure out where to go from there. This room was connected to a waiting room filled with uncomfortable looking chairs, and in here, the wall was covered with pamphlets (Encouraging Your Child!) and the woman sitting behind the desk didn't seem to interested in us.

"We're here to see Carolyn," Axel said.

"Uh-huh. Let's see here..." She consoled her computer. "Roxas Peyton?"

We both nodded.

"I regret to inform you that she is at a training and will be gone all day. Do you want to reschedule?"

"Well, I—"

"Is there anyone else we could talk to?" Axel cut in.

"Yes, if you insist. Go into the room right there and someone will be in soon enough."

We started to go towards the large, brown door she had gestured to, but she stopped Axel. "Only Mr. Peyton is allowed in there, _sir_."

"But he—"

"Are you his brother?" she asked Axel severely, cutting me off.

"No," he said, annoyed. "But—"

"Are you related to him in any way?"

"No, but I am—"

"There are no exceptions. Those are the rules," she stared us down intensely, as if daring us to protest.

"Go," Axel encouraged me after shooting her a dirty look.

"Ok," I said uncertainly.

I began to step away, but he grabbed my arm, and yanked me over to him, kissing me fiercely. I know that he did that to get back at the woman, because that would make most people feel awkward to say the least. She, however, didn't even give us so much as a glance.

"You'll have to wait outside the wing," she said simply.

"Ok," Axel glared at her. "You'll be fine," he added to me quietly.

I tore myself away, and entered the room. It was a normal, boring office. A desk, a chair, filing cabinets, and not much else. I sat on the chair nervously, playing with the zipper on my jacket.

"Hello." A woman entered, her movements business-like. She had flowing black hair, stunning green eyes, and a tan-ish skin tone. She was wearing formal clothing, which made her look uptight, but once she sat down, she relaxed a little, smiling and revealing tiny wrinkles near her eyes. She was in her thirties or forties, I would have guessed, and her voice was clear, with a slight accent I couldn't place.

"Hello," I managed to say.

"You're here to see Carolyn Jaen?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm here in her place, and I promise I am just as qualified," she smiled. "To an extent, at least."

"Ok."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"Um…"

"If you're more comfortable talking to—"

"No," I shook my head.

I didn't want to talk with this stranger, especially without Axel, but I guess I didn't really have a choice. She was asking about my eye, showing concern, her face thoughtful. So I told her about my dad, told her about what he's been doing to me. She grew more serious at that, listening intently. The police came, taking pictures of my bruises and my eye and my head and my ankle. That freaked me out, just a little bit, shaking me up and making me want to forget everything, and leave, but I knew I couldn't do that, not after yesterday. After the police came and went, the woman was telling me that everything was going to be ok, that she was here for me.

That lasted a great deal longer than I had expected. She continued to ask questions, and scribbled things down. My phone rang, and I answered it while she flipped through some papers.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Axel said, anxious. "Why is it taking so long?"

"I don't know...I think we're almost done, though. She keeps having me retell things."

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, Axel, I'm fine."

"Ok..."

He seemed reluctant to go, but I managed to get him off the phone.

"Axel?" she asked, looking up at me curiously. "That's an unusual name. Who is he?"

"Er, my boyfriend."

"Oh, really? It is common for—"

"Parents to disprove? Yeah."

She nodded.

"...what now?" I voiced my concern.

"Well, I can't tell for sure. A trial will be held."

"Will he...will I..."

"It depends." Her face softened. "Custody will probably go to your stepmother."

"Oh..."

"Do you have somewhere to stay for today?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Your father will be pulled from work, and we'll let you know."

"O...k."

"It would be a good idea for you to stay here until—"

"No, I should get going."

I stood up, and she stood up with me. "My name is Maria Vantwellez, by the way," she smiled warmly.

"Nice to meet—wait, _what_?"

"I'm Maria," she repeated.

"Maria what?"

"Vantwellez," she blinked. "Is there a problem?"

"It's just, um, that's Axel's last name."

It was her turn to stare at me. "What did you say?" she finally asked weakly.

"Axel Vantwellez."

She rushed out of the room suddenly, and I followed behind, confused.

Axel was sitting in the waiting room, staring down at his feet. He looked up as we clamored up to him. Maria's face was tight and unbelieving.

"Oh mi dios, oh mi dios, oh mi dios." She twisted her hands in front of her chest.

Axel stood up, only giving her a passing glance that said "something is wrong with this woman." Then his hand was running through my hair, traveling down until he laced his fingers through mine. "Are you ok?" he whispered.

Crying. He was crying. He brushed it away, saying that he was worried, that he hated these places. I tried to comfort him, like he had done for me time and time again, but I felt useless. His shoulders shook silently, and I wiped his tears away. Soon his face cleared, and I smiled to show him that I was fine. He smiled back.

"I love you, Roxie," he breathed.

"I love you, too, Axel."

We stood there for a second, smiling at each other even though we were terrified of what was going to happen next. Would the judge find my dad guilty? Did they even believe my story? How would Kelly, Sora, and Riku react?

Maria's voice shook these questions out of my head.

"Excuse me?" she asked. "Excuse me?" A little louder this time.

We turned to her. "What?" we chimed.

"Are you Axel Vantwellez?"

"Yes, so what if I am?" he mused.

"I think..."

"What?"

"I think..."

"Spit it out," Axel snapped.

"Axel," I said disapprovingly. His big mouth was going to get us in trouble. "You sure are being rude today."

"Funny thing for you to say," he smiled slightly.

Maria opened her mouth, and he glanced at her, irritated.

"I'm sorry, but," she shook her head, "you...you're...Roxas, can I talk to you in private? It will only take a minute."

"Um, sure," I said uncertain.

"Can't you say it here?" Axel crossed his arms. He sure is getting pissed at anyone and everyone, I thought for a second.

"Just stay here," I said, stepping around him. Something about the way Maria was standing there, her face pale, her voice feeble, made me want to comply.

I left with her, Axel sitting back down, a sour look on his face. We went back into the room, and I stood there blankly, the door clicking shut softly.

She took out a handkerchief and dabbed at her forehead, which was dotted with sweat. "That's my son. _My son._"

She tacked that onto the end, as if I hadn't understood the importance of what she was saying. I sort of blinked, and said, "Um, yeah?"

She stared at me, her eyes unfocused. "He's so _tall_. And his hair is so much longer. And...and..."

"Shouldn't you, uh, be telling him this?"

She seemed to become aware that I was talking to her. "No, I don't think he would want me back in his life."

"Ok?"

"He's not a very forgiving person. Even I know that," she laughed bitterly. "He probably wants to kill me for leaving the way I did."

"Maybe, maybe not," I shrugged.

"Would he..." she muttered, hopeful. "What do you think he would do if I told him who I am?"

I shrugged again.

"You know him pretty well, don't you? Please."

"Well..."

The first thing that came to me was an image of Axel, saying, his voice full of spite and disgust, "Of course my mom is a case worker. _Of course_."

"I don't know, he's kind of weird sometimes," I said.

"Has he told you anything about me?"

"He said that you left when he was young, that you went on vacation but never came back."

"I had to leave. I loved him, and his father, but I couldn't handle it," she explained, desperately wanting me to understand for whatever reason. "I was holding them back, you see. And I wanted to take Axel in, after...after his father passed away, but I was financial instable."

"Yeah," I nodded politely, unsure of why she was telling me all of this.

"Thing are better now, of course..." she glanced around the room. "Where is he living? I had no idea that he was still in Baltimore...I came back after a few years, I really missed it here..."

"He's living with a man named Xemnas."

"Xemnas? Huh," she said thoughtfully. "And he's doing well?"

"I guess."

"This is so weird," she looked at me fleetingly. "I'm sorry, I was a little startled. I didn't mean to drag you into this."

"It's ok."

"You want to get going, yes?"

I nodded.

We went back to the waiting room. Maria looked at Axel sadly for a second as we made to leave.

"Asegúrese de mantener a ese chico seguro!" she called after us.

Axel paused. "Sí, por supuesto voy a seguir Roxas seguro."

"Are you talking about me?" I asked, confused.

They ignored me. "Y es posible que desee tenerlo en su casa por unos días," Maria continued.

"Sí, señora. Tenemos que seguir adelante, pero, uh, gracias por tu ayuda," Axel nodded curtly. "Let's get going, Roxas, ok?"

I nodded.

"Adiós, Dios esté con vosotros." She pulled her hair away from her face.

"Adiós," Axel gave a half wave, already leading me away.

I wasn't sure, but I think I saw her smile before we were out of sight.

"That woman was weird," Axel said once we were in the elevator.

"Yeah," I agreed. "What were you two talking about?"

"Nothing much."

"Why do you always say that?"

"Because it's always true," he chuckled. "You know that thing she said about god?"

"No, I don't," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, right, sorry. She said may god be with you. It's funny, my mom use to say that."

"Huh."

A/N: Whoo updating while I have a horrible headache! That's irony for you. =.=

And I am aware that this chapter is not entirely scientifically valid...what with the injuries and all...but i don't feel like researching it right now...urggggggg headaches...

The next chapter will be the last one. If you change your mind about what you want me to do after this, feel free to let me know. *laughs nervously*

~KeedaxEmry


	31. The Best

Maybe it was my eyes. He always said they were just like my mother's, a pale blue like the frost that coats grass on cold mornings. I don't think it was because I had shamed him, that I couldn't behave. I don't even think that my sexuality was the problem. No, it was because I was a constant reminder of _her_. He couldn't get away from it, the guilt, the grief. He saw those eyes, and he became blind. A new wife, and two new sons did nothing to soothe this, because I was still a living link to the woman he had loved. Even now that I know this, I can barely stand to look at him. The ways he walks, that same old suit he wears, the numb look on his face—I hate all of it. Whenever he makes to move his hand, I flinch instinctively, and he quickly folds his hands on his lap as to not scare me. It's a little too late for that, isn't it? He ruined our family, and as I hear him apologize, saying goodbye, all I can do is stare into my lap, ignoring the angry words whose intentions are to hurt him as bad as he hurt me. But I won't sink to his level, so I remain silent.

Despite all of this, when he is led away, my chest begins to ache. He, too, was the one thing that kept me connected to my mom, my childhood, and now he was gone. I kept my head down, it was for the best.

It's for the best, I remind myself as we leave.

It's for the best, I remind myself as I see Axel and burst into tears.

It's for the best, I remind myself as I miss the person who had made my life a living hell.

He was right. My dad was right.

It's for the best.

XxXxX

When I woke up, I couldn't remember where I was. I was staring into darkness, blankets wrapped around me tightly, impairing my ability to move. At first, I thought it was all a dream: my dad, social services, they must have been imagined by my fantasizing. But then I realized I was in Axel's room, and I wasn't being bound by blankets. All the covers were rolled up in a ball at the foot of the bed; Axel was hugging me so firmly that it was unbelievably hot, and his breath was on face, making me want to push him away. He was fast asleep, his mouth slightly open, and his hair spread out, looking like flames criss-crossing over the pillows. He looked peaceful laying there like that. We were facing each other, our legs tangled together. My right foot was tingling up a storm, because Axel was trying to crush it, cutting off the circulation.

I moved very slightly, groaning. I bent my toes, the tingling beginning to dull down. The clock said 5:34 a.m., so I knew that Axel would be out for at least another hour. As long as I didn't roll over, he would probably stay right where he was, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. I wondered briefly why I had woken up, but then decided that it was because of that faulty dream. That isn't how it happened at all; I haven't seen my father since March. I stayed at Axel's house for a few days—was it two?—and my dad was, as promised, pulled out of work and investigated. A restraining order was pressed, and he was forced to stay at a hotel until the trial. I thought back to when I had come home after things had wound down some. I had found Kelly, Sora, and Riku sitting on the couch, quietly waiting for me...

I remember the blood pounding in my ears, my body stiffening, my hands shaking. Can a face look hollow? They had looked horrible: their faces so still, dripping with such sorrow that you're positive they are dying. With eyes that look at you, that usual spark, that light, has gone out, and left them with a lifeless, cold look. Once rosy cheeks are pale, and sullen, and you feel yourself trembling, not wanting to see any more, because you know that this is all your fault. All your fault. But you are unable to turn away. Hair hangs down, limp, shiny with grease, spines curve downward, slouching, tucked together like in great pain, trying to shelter one another—

It scared me. No, it terrified me.

That's what finding them there was like. And, in the next second, I was being squeezed, being suffocated in a surge of arms and tears.

Kelly stepped away from me. "Oh, honey, oh darling, oh sweetie, I am so glad you're alright!"

"Roxas, you should have told us!" Sora cried.

"This is in no way your fault," Kelly said, rubbing my shoulder. "We are behind you one-hundred percent."

I mumbled the first thing that popped into my head which was, "He's your husband."

She nodded. "He needs help, Roxas. I should have know. I...should...have..." She fought back tears, telling me that she was sorry, it never should have come to this, that of course I was still her son, and of course she wasn't going to send me away.

That was a relief, I guess.

After that, we really didn't know what to say. Kelly and Sora appeared shocked, and they clung to each other much like a kitten stuck in a tree clings to a branch. I couldn't quite read Riku's face; his expression was set in stone, although something in the way his jaw was set told me that, at the very least, he was unhappy about the current situation. So, we did what we do best. Ate a glop of Kelly's foul-smelling cuisine, and went our separate ways. Kelly began journaling, Sora and Riku sat in the kitchen, picking at a batch of brownies that were supposedly to make us feel better, I'm sure, while I went up to my room and put Axel on speakerphone. We talked late into the night until the image of my dad had washed away and I could sleep...

Five weeks. That's how long it took. Five weeks of waiting, of having everyone trying to cheer me up, of burying myself in my schoolwork, as if that would speed up time.

My dad was found guilty—six years. I would be old enough to drink by then. Axel kept asking me if I was ok, if I needed anything (a new father?) and if it had been anyone else, I would have bit their head off in annoyance. But I knew that he was just worried about me.

To tell you the truth, something else has been weighing on my mind. It's May. Today is graduation and then only a summer will stand in Axel's way of entering college. Summer is, by far, my favorite season: hot, lazy days to your leisure. No school, or homework, or pesky classmates, just freedom, freedom, freedom. In which you can do what you please; sleep, watch TV, whatever you feel like doing. The looming prospect of Axel being gone (us breaking up?) was like a giant, ugly storm cloud in the middle of what should have been a beautiful, clear sky. What am I going to do without him always being a phone call away? Axel has gotten me through this year...I mean, think about it. If it hadn't been for him, I would never have opened up...not talking, not confiding to anyone, just keeping it all locked up inside. I haven't changed completely—I talk to my family _some_—but that's better than nothing, right? And if it wasn't for him, I would be stuck in that horrible, depressed state still. Heck, if it wasn't for him, I would have killed myself. Because what was the point, I would think. Oh, yeah, that's right, there is no point. The world is designed to make everyone's lives miserable. Axel somehow managed to turn my views around. Yes, things might suck, but it's not forever. Yes, people might not be listening, but maybe that's because you have to speak up. As demeaning as this sounds, I need Axel. I'm afraid that not having him around will make me fall back into who I use to be. And what will I do without his Cheshire smile, without his simple, optimistic outlook on life?

Another thought, a dark one deep inside of me, keeps cropping up and nagging. I am such a needy person. I am probably the neediest person on this planet. How long will Axel be able to stand it? Be able to stand me constantly calling and texting him, which I know I will do. And he tells me that he'll drive back every weekend. I can't remember exactly where he's enrolling; it's not in Baltimore, but it's close...it's maybe thirty, forty minutes away? That's still a big hassle, coming back to see me when he's going to be busy with his studies. And what if he meets someone? Someone who isn't clingy? Someone beyond amazing, someone he won't be able to resist?

I have already told him all of this. And you know what he said?

I don't mind driving back.

I won't let that happen, cariño.

Hmm? No, nothing will be different.

I would still love you.

Roxie, o'course, _o'course_, I would still love you. Don't worry about a silly ol' thing like that, ok?

I don't see how he can be so sure. How does he know everything will just magically work out?

I reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. He sighed contentedly, but didn't wake up. Sometimes he would talk in his sleep, so I listened for a while. But no, there was nothing, only the slight humming in my ears from the silence, and his slow breathing. If he knew that I was awake, and that I was laying there worrying, he would have distracted me by saying something ridiculous, or he would have kissed me, saying, "Silly Roxas. You should be asleep, maravillosa."

He seemed to have as many nicknames for me as Kelly. And I didn't know what most of them meant, because they were all in Spanish. "Mi amor" was one of the few he had told me; it meant "my love", which I probably could have figured out on my own. Another was "mi novio poco cínico." He kept saying it, and smirking, and refusing to tell me what it meant. So, eventually, I memorized it and searched for the meaning online. It said "my boyfriend bit cynical", which I translated to mean "my somewhat cynical boyfriend." So I told him off for calling me that, and he just laughed, and told me that he's said worse before and besides, you are cynical. Which concerned me to say the least, but I haven't figured much out. I wish I could speak Spanish.

Maybe I'll take Spanish next year. Maybe. There is only a week left in this school year, one unfair week in which I'll be taking tests and Axel will be loafing, already starting his summer vacation. I know I passed Geometry, thank god, I don't want to take it over. I probably would have passed without Axel's help, although with a lower grade. I thought back to that day where he strolled into my class, dropped a note on my desk, and began to talk to the teacher as if nothing had happened. That note proved very useful during that specific quiz. I was shocked at the time that Axel would help me cheat, but now I know that he would probably take the tests for me if he could.

For some reason, Xion popped in my head. The last anyone had heard of her, she had been moved to a more intensive unit in D.C., which made us think that she had lost it even more. This made Xemnas pretty gloomy and miserable to be around. Axel told me that it was because he thought of Xion like a daughter. Xemnas use to have a wife (who ended up divorcing him) and they had a baby girl named Hailey. The name Hailey seemed familiar to me for some reason, though I know that I had never met her. She died from leukemia when she was fifteen, and Xemnas never seemed to get over it completely, Axel told me. This was before starting "Organization 13", of course. That was why he seemed to have a soft spot for both Xion and I, and I guess that explains why he doesn't mind if I spent a lot of nights over here.

I stretched a little, beginning to wish that I could get out of bed. I really needed to pee. And it was getting more blistering hot with each passing moment. Axel was still motionless, maybe I could manage it without waking him up...

Better now than later, I decided. First I pulled my legs over to my side of the bed, slowly bending my knees, and then I shifted into a position where I had more leverage, pausing as he moaned. I scooted away a centimeter at a time, his arms sliding away from me, and the mattress creaking slightly.

I was almost home free when he rewrapped his arms around my torso, pulling me back to him and ruining the progress I had made. And he said I was the cuddly one. Screw that, he was way worse.

How had he done that in his sleep, I thought, annoyed.

Then I saw him peek at me in-between his eyelashes, smiling.

"Where do you think you're going?" he teased.

"You were awake?" I grumbled. "Let go."

"I don't think I will." He nuzzled my neck, running his lips across my collarbone and making me bit back the pleased laughter in my throat.

"Seriously, Axel, let go."

His hands slid up my back as he grinned. "Nah."

"I have to pee. Get off!" I pushed him away, and he laughed.

"What are you doing up anyway?" he asked. "I have to be at the school at nine, not six, if you remember."

"I know," I stood up, shrugging. "Whatever."

"Mmmm," he hummed, rubbing his eyes.

"You're going to be asleep when I get back, huh?"

"Probably. Know me all too well, don't ya?"

"You're predictable, that's all."

"Predictable? Hmmm." He turned around in bed so that he was facing the wall. "I'm going back to bed."

"Ok," I said, leaving.

I was halfway back to his room when I ran into Larxene. She had that creepy green make-up all over her face, her hair pinned back, and a blue bathrobe hanging off of her body. She's graduating today too, I thought.

She didn't sneer at me, and she didn't have some snobby comment to shoot at me.

"Good morning, Roxas," she muttered.

"Morning," I replied warily, scooting around her.

"Hey," she stopped me. "Don't you have something to say to me?"

"Um...congratulations?"

"Thank you," she rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to spit in your eye, if that's what you were thinking."

She turned, and stalked away.

She had gotten better, to an extent, but I was already attuned to her stuck-up behavior. The best thing I could say about her now is that she respects me. To the bare minimum, granted, but it was respect all the same.

I crawled back into bed, and half-slept, half-daydreamed for a while. Once light was shining in weakly, Axel sat up, yawning.

I got up with him. We pressed our backs against the wall, our legs sprawled out in front of us, and the bed an unmade mess. We didn't speak for a while, and I knew that Axel was slowly waking up, stretching and blinking.

"Axel?" I murmured.

What was I doing in his house so early on the day of his graduation in the first place? Well, to put it one way, I hadn't wanted to leave. We had lost track of time the night before, so I called Kelly to ask if I could stay the night. Living with her, and Sora, and Riku, had become more bearable. Kelly and Sora still tended to be over enthusiastic and cheerful, although that had toned down slightly ever since they learned what my dad had been doing. I expected it to crush them completely, but they had bounced back. They were just so resilient, to the point where I was jealous. They told me, in true ex-counselor fashion, that my dad had been a victim as well, and that it was time to break the cycle of violence. Whatever. Kelly was planning to get a job, because without my dad's income, we could easily sink into debt. As long as she doesn't become a secretary, I'm good.

Things like death and change...they bring a family together, make you stronger. We pulled through and grew closer as a result. Kelly is still overbearing, Sora is still annoying, Riku is still passive, but we're a family. It's true that I would never have met them if my mom hadn't died. But I also would never have met Axel. I've known that Axel cares about me—from the time he attacked Clyde, and worried about me constantly, up until now—but I never thought that my family did. Now I know that they do. Maybe, back then, I chose to deny it, wanting to believe otherwise. It isn't fake, it isn't because they had no choice. No, they worry about me just as much as Axel does. And that's what makes a family, I think. So, maybe, it was time for me to say _I have a family_; not a 'family', not a step family. And maybe it's time I call Kelly mom.

...ok, maybe I'm not ready for _that_. She will always be Kelly to me, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

And even though they aren't perfect, they've always been there for me. All along they have tried to help me, and I reacted by pushing them away, by trying to hurt them. I have stopped doing that, which was a huge step for me.

"Roxie?"

"What?" I blinked.

Axel shifted, so that I fell over sideways and into his lap. "What were you saying?"

"Oh, uh..." I straightened, scooting closer to him so that he couldn't see my face.

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"No."

"Ok then. Tell me."

"Um...yeah, I forgot."

He laughed. "I'm surprised you don't forget what you're saying mid-sentence."

"It's a mystery," I laughed. "Hey, Axel?" I added softly.

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations."

"Thanks. I still can't believe how fast this year has gone. Cherish every high school moment, k?"

"I will. And Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I...we're, um..."

"What is it?"

"If you..."

"If I what?"

"If you meet someone," I sad carefully, "will you—"

"Roxas," he said sternly. "Sometimes I wonder how you get through the day. How many times do I have to say it? I'm not going to find someone new the second I'm gone."

"I'm just saying—"

"I will still love you, shesh."

I shot him a look. "You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't."

"_Yes, I do_."

"_No, you don't_."

He stared at me intently. "Roxas?"

"What?" I sulked.

"I. Will. Still. Love. You," he insisted, poking my nose with each word. "Now, I know what you're going to say. But even if we go our separate ways, there will always be a part of me that won't be able to forget you."

"Well..." I bit my lip uncertainly.

"This is the part where you say of course, me too."

"Of course, me too," I muttered.

"Better?"

"I guess."

"I know you better than that."

"Do you now?"

His fingers reached for my stomach, beginning to push my shirt up, and I squirmed away. I had nowhere to go, unless I wanted to end up on the floor, so soon I was laughing, trying to get him away from me.

He finally stopped tickling me, and kissed me instead. Eventually, we fell back onto his bed, breathing hard.

I wished that this could last forever. We laid there, pressed against each other. Axel smelled like he always did: fabric softener, coconut, all mixed with something I could never quite identify. I knew that the coconut was from the shampoo Saix always buys, but even now, I was breathing in deeply, trying to place that one scent. It could have been his deodorant, maybe, or something else he's exposed to. Whatever it was, it always made me smile, making my body relax as I wished once more that this bliss could last.

Axel pulled away a little bit so that he could look at me. "What are you doing?" he wondered out loud, bemused.

"Um, smelling you."

"What? Smelling me?" he laughed. "Do I need to take a shower?"

"Actually," I wiggled and craned my neck to see the clock, "yes. Or else you're going to be late."

He glanced at the time; we had about an hour. "Aww, damn it."

"You should have woken up earlier."

"And for a second there, I thought you were going to chastise me for cussing, not for sleeping in," he shook his head.

"If it makes you feel better, I was going to do that too."

"Of course."

"So no cussing. Got that?"

"Yes, yes. Hey, I have an idea." His face brightened.

"What?"

"Why don't we shower together?"

I blushed. "Really?"

"Yes, really," he smirked. He pulled me closer to him, kissing me again.

"Well, ok," I stuttered.

"Great. Ok, take your clothes off."

"Umm..." I sat up, beginning to pull at the waistband of the sweats I was wearing.

He started laughing really hard, doubled over, and I stopped what I was doing.

"Axel? Are you ok?" I asked.

"I was _kidding_. I can't believe you—" He was attacked with another laughing fit.

"Axel, you jerk!" I exclaimed, kicking him.

"I'm sorry, you're just so naive," he chuckled.

"I hate you."

"I love you, too."

"I hate you," I repeated.

"You don't mean that, Roxie."

"Oh, yes, I do."

"Should I nod and agree with you like a good boyfriend? Or should I contradict that statement?" he said thoughtfully. "The latter, don't you think?"

"Axel, just go get your stupid shower and get ready for graduation. God."

"I love it when you try not to cuss _and_ when you're embarrassed. So my acts are completely justified."

"I don't care if they're justified or not," I scowled.

"Would it make it up to you if I let you shower with me after all?"

"No."

"That's alright, I've already seen you naked...hmm..."

"_What?_"

"Kidding, kidding," he laughed. "Jeez, Roxas, you'll believe anything. Ok, how about tonight, we go out and celebrate, just the two of us?"

"Weren't you going to go to a graduation party at what's-his-face house?"

"Yeah, but getting mi amor to forgive me is so much more important."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Maybe, maybe not." He jumped up. "I'm going to miss the entire thing at this rate."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Yours," he grinned before leaving.

As he showered I thought about our first "anniversary celebration" after the whole social services ordeal. I was camped out here, but it was impossible to fall asleep, and I guess Axel was awake as well...

So we left. Just like that. It must've been around five in the morning as we drove through dim streets, telling stories and laughing at each other. We ate all the best foods, which included tons of coffee and donuts, and our destination turned out to be a cute little beach town. We got a dingy hotel room that probably hadn't been serviced for months, and stayed for the better part of a week, window shopping, eating ice cream, daring each other to do stupid things, laying on the beach, you know. The only thing we didn't do was swim, because on such short notice we didn't have swimming suits with us, and, besides, the water was freezing. Time stood still for us, and until we got back, the only worry on our minds was whether we had enough money to buy aloe vera for our sunburns. That, by far, was the best week of my life.

I heard the door bang open, and soon enough, Axel was dropping me off at my house. I got ready hastily, and Kelly, Sora, Riku and I left to watch the ceremony. I had debated endlessly about going; I wanted to, of course, but it made me feel awkward, and I was afraid that I would wind up crying my eyes out.

I didn't. Just sat through speeches that meant nothing to me, cheered as Axel walked across the stage, and lost him in the crowd afterward.

He finally found me. It was hard to hear him over the people who were passing on good wishes to the graduates, but I _think _he said, "I'll pick you up at eight." Then a wave of parents rushed by, and we were separated.

Sure enough, at eight, he was at my house. He beeped his horn, and I shoved my shoes on.

"I'm going out with Axel," I told Kelly.

"Ok, have fun," she smiled. "When will you be home?"

"I don't know..." I glanced at her uncertainly. "When do you want me to be home?"

"No later than midnight would be nice."

"Ok. Thanks."

"Bye!" She hugged me.

I gave her a half-hug, then I was out the door.

"You don't have to do this," I said the second I was in the car.

"I know," he shifted gears, "but I want to."

We got out a few minutes later. "Where are we going?" I asked as we walked down a deserted street. It was starting to get dark outside, although the air was still warm.

He didn't answer. We got to a fenced-area, and he stopped. Through the wooden boards, I could see a pool, a hot tub, plastic tables, and beach chairs. It was a community pool.

"Axel, what are we doin—" I cut off, shrieking as he hoisted me up suddenly.

"Climb over," he said.

"No!" I protested.

He stepped closer to the fence, and I stepped onto his shoulders, wobbling. Together, we were taller than it. I swung my leg over, giving him a dirty look to tell him that I did not appreciate this, and jumped over.

He followed behind me. I stood there next to him, looking at the still water.

"Getting me to do something illegal isn't going to make me forgive you," I said.

"Don't think of it as something illegal, think of it as an adventure," he replied.

"Why a pool?" I glanced at him. "You could have picked anything, and yet you picked a pool."

"Well, preferably it would've been a lake, but on such short notice, this was the best I could do."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your parents use to always talk about Lake Powell, so you wanted to go there."

"Um, how did you know that?"

"You told me."

"I did?"

"At Halloween, yep."

"Your memory is freaking me out."

"It's uncanny, isn't it?"

"Why didn't you tell me to bring a swimming suit? And what if someone catches us?" I looked around, anxious.

"No one is going to notice. And they wouldn't care anyway. Now, Roxie, if I told you that, it wouldn't have been a surprise."

"It didn't need to be a surprise. I am not going swimming, Axel. Just take me home, and then you can go to that party."

"No."

"Axel, I forgive you, ok? I wasn't really that mad to begin with."

"We are going swimming," he said firmly.

"Please just—"

He put his hands on my shoulders and steered me towards the hot tub. "In," he commanded, flicking a switch nearby to turn it in.

"Axel, I don't think,,,." I stopped after he nudged me. I sighed, and slipped into it, my clothes getting drenched in seconds and weighing me down.

He came in too, sitting across from me and smiling. "See, that wasn't that hard."

"You're ridiculous," I shook my head. "What's wrong with you?"

"Ok, to be honest... he fidgeted. "I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"Because, once the fall semester starts, I won't be around, you know? I worry about you enough when we're in the same room," he laughed bitterly.

"Axel, don't."

He looked up at me. "I know I shouldn't, it's just today I couldn't help it."

"I'll be fine. It's not like I won't have Kelly, and Sora, and Riku. Not to mention, Demyx and Zexion."

"That's reassuring," he said dryly.

"As long as we're here, we should have fun," I said, trying to cheer him up. "Ok?"

"Ok."

I sort of waded over to him, and sat next to him. "This isn't that bad," I said.

"Yeah," he halfheartedly agreed.

For a while, we sat there, relaxing. When I finally got sickly hot, I grabbed his hand, and stood up, the air brushing against my wet skin and cooling me off. "Come on," I said, trying to lead him out.

He shook his head, letting go of me. "No."

"Why not? It's hot, Axel. Let's swim."

"I don't want to."

I shot him a weird look. "That's why we came."

"You go ahead," he waved me away.

"Come on," I persisted.

"No."

"Axel, why not?" I asked, annoyed.

"Well, I..." he turned away, unable to make eye contact. That hadn't happened for a long time and it was always me, never him... "I can't swim, ok?" he finally said, his voice so quiet that I could barely hear him.

"That's all?" I laughed. "I can teach you."

I dragged him out, ignoring his protests. I latched onto his waist and jumped into the pool. He tried to resist, but lost balance and toppled in after me. It was so funny seeing him gasp, and flail around in the water. I took my shirt off and threw it out, swimming around gently.

Axel was clutching onto the side of the pool for dear life. "You're fine!" I giggled.

"No, I'm not." He scrambled out.

I floated there, crestfallen. "Axel?"

"I don't like swimming."

"Are you..." I started timidly. "Are you afraid?"

"Don't be stupid." He looked away.

"You are," I said, surprised.

"No, I'm..." he muttered.

"The water isn't deep enough for you to drown. Your height is paying off."

"I know that."

"So go swimming with me. Please?"

"No."

"Please, Axel?"

I kept begging, and he finally got back in. He climbed down the stairs slowly, staring at the water like it was going to bite him.

I took off his shirt, throwing it over with mine, and kissed him to offer a distraction.

Soon he grew more comfortable, and we were swimming around, splashing each other and laughing.

He took me back home around ten, telling me that he was going to go to that party after all. I smiled, and kissed him good night.

Everyone was already in bed, so they didn't notice my soaking wet clothing. Which was probably a good thing.

XxXxX

My phone woke me up around three. I fumbled it open.

"Hello?" I yawned.

"Roxas?" Zexion asked.

"Yeah?"

"You need to come. Quick."

"What?" I sat up a little. "What are you talking about? What's wrong?"

"Axel's in the hospital."

"He's..." I scrambled out of bed, almost tripping and falling.

"We're at St. Agnes. Do you know where that is?"

"I...yeah, yeah I know where it is."

I raced down the hallway, yanking the door to Kelly's room open. I woke her up, panicking and scaring the living daylights out of her. I told her that Axel was in the hospital, and, without question, she grabbed her keys.

The drive lasted a lifetime. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think anything other than he's in the hospital...he's in the hospital...

We parked, and I jumped out without even waiting for Kelly. Once I was inside the lobby, I saw Demyx standing there alone. He was pale, and he was fidgeting anxiously. He waved me over and I followed him to a small room.

"Axel? Where is he?" I looked around frantically. This was not his room; this looked like a small, individual waiting room, with small couches, a coffee table with a pile of magazines, and a TV. The only people there were Demyx and Zexion. "Where—"

Zexion grabbed my arm. "You need to calm down."

"What happened?" I demanded.

"Sit down, Roxas."

"Not until I see—"

"You can't see him now, so sit."

I glared at him, but did so. Zexion was composed as ever, but Demyx looked shaken up; he looked at me, running a hand through his hair nervously.

"Is he...?" I asked, feeling sick to my stomach.

"His vitals are becoming normal," Zexion said.

"I don't know what that means," I snapped. "What happened?"

They glanced at each other, and Zexion began to explain...

May 20th, 2010

Axel's doctor is this beefy looking guy who nodded at everything Zexion said to me. He has these square-shaped glasses that glint underneath the florescent lights, and messy black hair, and the broad shoulders of a boxer. The clicking of my laptop is pretty quiet, the keys are slim, but even so this old lady sitting across from me is shooting me vicious looks. I'm in the waiting room, near the front entrance of the hospital. My back aches from this stiff chair. I think I might've passed out...did I? All I know is Zexion, Demyx, and that doctor guy spoke to me, and now I'm just sitting here. They can't make me leave. Not that skinny-necked receptionist over there, not even Zexion with his calm voice. He's the only one who stayed with me, and he's reading, in-between trying to reason with me.

No; I'm not leaving. When will he get that into his head?

Roxas, he says, there's nothing you can do right now.

I don't care. Even if I do go home, I'll lay there all night, then come straight back. I'm saving myself from an extra step. I had Kelly bring me this, so I would have something to do. She wanted to stay too, but she has to tell Sora and Riku everything when they wake up.

I'm hungry. Is that weird? Maybe I'll go get something from the vending machines. Although I know I won't, not if I want to keep myself from puking. That'd give that old lady a good reason to snap at me, wouldn't it? God, I feel sick. My stomach feels like a pot of boiling acid, and my throat is dry and scratchy. Swallowing doesn't help. Maybe I'll pass on the candy and get a bottle of water instead.

I'm stalling. That's all I'm doing. But I can't imagine this year being erased. As easy as 1, 2, 3, and it's _gone_. If I hadn't convinced him to go to that party, he would be at home now, fast asleep. Maybe he'd be sleep talking, saying my name, or saying things that don't even make sense, like that time he said sporks or Hitler, and I really wish I could hear him say something, anything right now. Even sporks or Hitler. He could tell me to go eff myself, and I would be happy, that would be better than this. My face is wet, which must mean I'm crying.

Zexion is giving me a tissue. This has to be the longest amount of time I've spent with him. Axel use to keep him away from me, remember? So that he wouldn't tell me about Axel's feelings. When I think back, it's hard to believe that I hadn't noticed that we were always flirting, that he made me feel "odd", which I would now describe as "an embarrassed teenager who spent too much time with his crush and probably needs to open his eyes and shoot any drunk he sees."

Ok, I'm tired. So I'm sorry if this makes no sense.

Axel and Larxene were driving home, when a drunk ran a red light, and hit them. They lost a lot of blood, etc, etc, and I think they both got stitches. They're in a "stable condition" now. Larxene is going to recover fully, I'm told, but Axel "suffered severe head trauma." The doctors told me that he has retrograde amnesia, and they're figuring out how much he remembers. "He still has his procedural memory" they say. That's real assuring. He remembers how to make his bed.

They let Zexion and Demyx go in and see him already, which I think is completely unfair. It was to "gauge his memory loss." When they came back, I was begging like a child, wanting to know if he remembers me. I know it's selfish, I should be more worried about _Axel_ and if he's going to be ok, not if he remembers some Roxas Peyton.

Zexion and Demyx proved to be more useful than the doctors, that's for sure. They told me that he seems disoriented and confused. Apparently, he said some things that made them think he's forgotten everything past freshman year. At first, they wouldn't specify, but I kept bugging them until they did. Axel was under the impression that Demyx was his boyfriend. Demyx. They went out years ago. I couldn't believe that at first. I mean, Axel seems to hate Demyx, but I guess not. I had no idea. I would have wanted to kill Axel for keeping this from me, but now I just want to see him. Zexion says that they aren't sure if he remembers me or not, that they aren't really sure if he thinks Demyx is his boyfriend, he was just acting weird. He must not know who I am, they must've said all that to be nice...

The doctors say that it'll probably look better in the morning. Probably. They really should refrain from using words like that.

Please let him remember me. Please. I can't take this, not knowing one way or the other.

What will I do if he doesn't remember? "Explain things to him slowly" Zexion says. I guess I'd introduce myself, and we'd start over. He was so patient with me, I could do the same for him. Just take it one day at a time, learning about each other a little bit each day, all over again. Maybe it would all come back to him. Maybe it wouldn't, but his feelings for me would. Maybe he'd decided that his eighteen year old self was weird, and carefully cut himself out of my life.

Please, no.

I can handle him being in a different city but not—

They say I can go see him in a few minutes. Zexion is preparing me for the worst; Axel attached to beeping, whirring machines, Axel wrapped up in white bandages, Axel tucked in a hospital bed...it's taking all my self control to keep sitting here. I want to run down the hall, I want to see his face, scarred or not, I want to see him smile because I did something that made him happy. _Made him happy._ Who would ever think that _I _could make _him_ happy? _Me_. We..drove each other insane, always trying to annoy the other more. And, yet, somehow, it worked, and every day I spent with him made up for all the bad memories. Just sitting with him talking is enough. I don't think I could handle losing him like this. He's the only person who can make me feel better within seconds, he's the only person who can read me like a book. Without him, what will I do?

I have to stop crying like this. People are going to start coming up to me and telling me that they're sorry for my loss. I can't help it...

Axel, I love you. More than anything in the world.

I need to know...

_I need to know._


	32. A Weird Day

A/N: I'M SO SORRY! The computer crashed, so it didn't have Word. :(

Here's the greatly belated last chapter. Thank you to anyone who has bothered to read this far! (Haha)

~KeedaxEmry

When they showed up out of nowhere, I decided that I should just call it a day. A long, unexpected day that should've ended hours ago, with me tucked up in bed, Axel next to me sleeping peacefully, nice and safe.

Well, under different circumstances, I probably would've had a heart attack. Those two familiar faces, which should've registered in my mind somehow, by making me smile instinctively or by making my mind race with questions, barely fazed me. They weren't my friends-just a barrier that was _in my way_. My reaction? I practically clawed past them as if my life depended on it, because I had to see Axel. He had to be ok, right? Right?

That's what I was thinking when that stupid doctor appeared as well, his face twisted and evil, his lips smirking as he said I'd have to wait a little longer after all because Axel "needed rest" and it was "late" and that I "could use some shut eye" as well and then his eyes narrowed at me and he looked pretty horrified, as if I had suddenly grown an extra head or something.

Later, Zexion would tell me that I'd looked deranged.

The doctor left after someone made me sit down.

I sort of refocused when I heard, "Holy shit, man."

I blinked, staring at him. "What?"

Guilt washed over me as I realized that I had scared them so badly that Naminé was holding back tears. They were sitting on the couch in front of me; Hayner was obviously uncomfortable, while Zexion stood by flipping through some magazine, nonchalant as ever.

I was suppose to go straight to Axel's room-I threw my laptop into its bag in a second, but I was led back to this stupid private room so that Zexion could calm me down. They didn't want me upsetting Axel, which I guess is something that definitely won't happen, seeing as I'm stuck here.

I gathered my thoughts, submitting to this horrible wait, and finally asked, "What are you two doing here?"

"Roxas!" Naminé exclaimed before bursting into tears.

Hayner rubbed her shoulder. "How's the-Axel?"

I ignored the correction. "Maybe I'd know if they'd let me see him."

"Él está muy bien, Roxas," Zexion glanced at me, "y aún así su novio cínico."

Hayner frowned, confused, while I said, "That was oddly comforting but unnerving at the same time."

"Who are you?" Hayner asked.

Naminé sniffed, swiping her tears away hastily. "Zexion, remember?"

"Oh right."

Now that was just creepy.

Zexion sat down next to me, reading. "I don't know either of you."

I introduced them, and afterwards he glanced up, studying them for a second. "Ah." Back to reading.

"I'm sorry," Naminé said.

"For what exactly?" I asked.

"I was too late."

I gave her a questioning look, and she began to explain. "I saw the accident in a dream. It was...horrible. I tried to call you, but you wouldn't answer, and I was panicking, so I jumped on a plane. Kairi helped me."

"I couldn't let her go alone," Hayner added.

"Oh," was all I could say.

"And I didn't know if it had already happened...or if it was going to happen in a week, a month, or..." She ducked her head, sobbing again.

She latched onto Hayner, crying with a wild abandonment. I started into my lap before I could start feeling any worse. She didn't have to come. Neither did Hayner. But they did...

I was fighting with myself, thinking that there's no way in hell I was going to get all choked up in front of them, when Zexion stated, "It's four in the morning."

"Yeah," I croaked.

Uncertain glances around the room: Zexion's calm, Naminé's slightly tearful and worried, Hayner's curious, and mine...which probably wasn't all that good.

We all seemed to freeze until Zexion said, "We need to leave."

"No!" They stared at me, and I awkwardly added, "They said-"

"Roxas."

"What?" I shrank away from his glare, self-conscious of all the wide eyes being trained on me.

"Don't be difficult."

"I am not-"

"You will see him in the morning. Sitting here all night isn't going to help and, besides, Axel would kill you."

For worrying about him this much, for getting no sleep?

You bet he would.

"Well, I guess," I said reluctantly.

"Good," he nodded.

"Um," Naminé squirmed, "I didn't plan very well."

"Do you need a place to stay?" I asked.

"Yes, please."

"Hayner?"

"Of course."

He grinned, and we all made it back somehow. As in Hayner nearly killed us in the SUV they had rented...Naminé's parents were taking care of it apparently...I really wanted to go to Axel's house, to sleep there, but it seemed like an awkward thing to ask.

So when I crawled downstairs after literally no sleep, a dull ache was beginning to form across my temple. Sora, freaking out from the appearance of Naminé and Hayner, didn't help much. Once he realized that Kairi wasn't present, he calmed down some.

They were all around the table and as I walked in, they all looked up at me.

"Good morning," Kelly greeted.

"When are we leaving?" I asked, having already taken a shower and put on clean clothes.

"Whenever, sweetheart."

I nodded curtly, as if this was a mission of vital importance.

They were slower than I would've liked, but eventually we were on our way to the hospital.

And I was finally allowed to see him.

XxXxX

I threw my backpack over my shoulder, feeling like a college student myself. The air is bitter, which makes thoughts of hot apple cider creep into my thoughts. The leaves are scattered spots of color. I continued up the path—sidewalks crisscross the campus, filled with people wandering depending on the day. Today it's mostly vacant, save for a jogger. I lengthen my stride until I step out onto the dying grass, practically sliding down the slight hill, reaching my destination: the largest tree here. It's beautiful in an ugly way; cracking bark, a truck so wide my arms can't fit around it. I rest my back against it, waiting. It didn't take long.

"Hey Roxas."

I straightened, smiling. "Hi."

Axel's hair is pulled back in a loose, sloppy ponytail, a mess of papers spilling out of his own backpack, a sure sign that he had spent the day in class.

"Wow," I commented as we began walking.

"What?" he asked, self-consciously pulling a hand through his hair.

"Nothing," I giggled, looking at how he had made several random red strands stick up.

He patted it down, shooting me a fierce look. "That's not funny."

We continued to argue back and forth, ditching our stuff in his dorm room and continuing to walk.

We'd been out there for a while, I guess, because my nose had just about frozen off.

"Are you cold?" he asked, glancing at me.

"No." I rolled my eyes.

"So...yes?" he grinned.

I faltered; his eyes had that mischievous spark in them again, and it had caught me off guard.

"Duh, Axel."

His hand wrapped around mine and my breath caught. It felt the same as always, of course—warm, safe. "Is this ok?"

"Y-Yeah," I blushed.

He's not your boyfriend. I reminded myself. He's only holding your hand to warm you up.

Still, I couldn't help the rush of pleasure that burst through my body.

I'm not going to lie and say that these past few months hadn't been hard. In fact, they had been almost unbearable. He didn't know who I was; he didn't want to hang out, much less date; he acted like I was a stranger, being polite if nothing else. He was uncomfortable beyond belief...

It was slightly awkward that morning, when we went to see him. All of us entered his room, and I do mean all of us: Kelly, Sora, Riku, Naminé, Hayner, Demyx, Zexion, and me.

I went first. My nerves were screaming, and when I saw him, tears prickled my eyes. He was sitting up in bed, eating a plate of scrambled eggs. He was wearing unfamiliar white clothing—probably a hospital gown or something—which didn't frighten me as much as the IV or sea of bandages or the weird noises machines were making. He was calmly putting the last forkful in his mouth when he noticed the crowd that had barged in. His gaze swept through all of us, barely passing over me.

I searched desperately in his features for something, _anything_, that would indicate that he remembered me, that he loved me. There was nothing.

Zexion poked me hard in the back and I managed a, "Hi Axel."

His eyes fixed onto my face. I saw no recollection there, just blank eyes without any usual twinkle that indicated that he was joking with me, that I had said something that made him happy. My chest tore into pieces, and I began to sob.

"Hey, are you ok?" Axel asked, seeming pretty freaked out.

"Do…you know…w-who I am?" I begged.

He hesitated. "Maybe?"

"Please. What's my name?" I fell towards him, not caring that we had an audience. "What's my name?"

"Riku?" he said, then immediately shook his head, confused. "Where's Demyx?"

"He's dead," I said coldly.

"What?"

Demyx began to push forward from his position behind everyone, but Zexion held him back from Axel's view.

"He's screwing with you, Axel," Zexion said smoothly, going to his bedside. "Now, tell me who he is."

"He's...he's a person?" he laughed. "Should I know?"

"That's not funny," Zexion rebuked as I worked to stop myself from running out of the room. "Maybe if you cry more," he said thoughtfully.

He punched me in the face, and I winced, tears springing to my eyes. "What the hell, Zexion?" I snapped.

"That isn't nice," Kelly frowned. "Are you ok, Roxas?"

I nodded as Axel growled angrily, "Don't touch him."

"Good," Zexion nodded.

"Please, Axel, let this be a joke," I pleaded. "A horribly cruel joke."

"A joke? Well, there once was a man who—"

"Do you even know why you're in the hospital?" Zexion cut in.

"Not really, no."

"You just graduated."

"No shit? That's sweet," he grinned.

"Yes, you did."

"Last time I checked I was planning on becoming a high school drop-out. What happened to that?"

"Quit messing around."

"Ok, Zexion, if you insist. What can I do for you?" He folded his hands in front of him, faking seriousness.

"Tell me who this is." He practically shoved me in his face.

"Why, that's Roxas, of course."

"Thank you!"

"You remember?" I cried.

"Remember what?"

"That I'm Roxas!"

"Well, that lady said it," he said sheepishly, pointing towards Kelly. Then he noticed Demyx. He brightened, exclaiming, "Are you hiding from me. Dem?" He laughed, and Demyx walked up to him cautiously, giving everyone a wide berth. I could tell he felt horrible about this, especially when Axel punched his arm jokingly and began to launch into a happy dialog that went over my head with its long strings of inside jokes.

"Axel," Riku finally snapped, annoyed with the closed conversation.

"How do you know my name?" Axel glared back at him. Maybe there was hope if he still hated Riku. "How do _any_ of you know my name?"

"You have amnesia, hon," Kelly supplied. "You can't remember anything past freshman year..."

He wrinkled his forehead in thought. "From the accident?"

"Yes."

He looked at Demyx and Zexion to verify this, and they nodded. For the first time, he looked unsure, messing with his hair and watching us. He seemed to pause when his eyes reached me; I was closest to his bed, besides Demyx, and I was still holding back my emotion.

"And you are?" he asked slowly. I was happy that he was addressing me alone, as if I still meant something to him, somewhere inside him, but at the same time, my stomach twisted painfully at the way he said that, in a dazed, lost manner.

"Roxas."

"I know that," he shook his head. "I meant, how do I know you? The old, done-with-high-school me." His lips twitched into a smile at that, amused by the situation.

"Um, I...I..."

"He's your boyfriend!" Sora exclaimed, sounding as upset as me.

Oh god. I resisted the urge to bury my face in my hands and stared at the floor instead, probably blushing like crazy.

Somehow, I didn't miss his reaction.

He looked taken aback at first; his eyes widened in surprised, then he latched onto Demyx. "That can't be right," he said nervously, "because..."

Demyx gently pried him off, then grabbed Zexion's hand. "No, Axel."

"But..." His eyes darted to their entwined fingers. In different circumstances, I would have been just as surprised. At the moment, I didn't give a damn.

"I'm sorry," Zexion apologized.

"I...I mean...what?" His voice was barely audible at this point.

"It's just didn't work out," Demyx explained.

"Alright, this is weird. Scary weird." He laughed shakily. "There's a bunch of strangers in my room saying I have amnesia and I've already gotten my diploma and my boyfriend is with my best friend and I'm dating someone I don't remember meeting and—"

"Axel," Zexion stopped him. "Just think, and maybe you'll remember."

It was silent for a few seconds then: "Nope, nothing, nada."

Zexion sighed. "Roxas moved here last year, and you met him on one of your nighttime strolls."

"He fell out of his balcony," Kelly chimed.

"And onto you," he continued. "You became friends, yadda yadda, and everyday you'd come home and talk about him."

Axel seemed to be turning away from me as much as possible; probably feeling as awkward as me...

"And, basically, after an unbelievably long time, you two started dating."

"You helped send his asshole of a father to jail," Riku half growled.

"You brought over pastries and stuff," Sora added.

"Ringing any bells?" Demyx tried.

"Uh not at all."

"I know!" Sora suddenly exclaimed, his face breaking out in a gigantic smile. "It's like in the movies!"

"What do you mean, Sora?" Kelly asked.

"It's the kiss of true love!" he practically yelled. Everyone stared at him.

"You know," he added, his excitement rising, "a curse is broken when the prince kisses the princess! Then they live happily ever after!"

"Are you an idiot?" Axel asked flatly.

I snorted at that, and Axel gave me a small smile. I won't let that go to my head, I thought, although I was pleased.

"Nooo," Sora whined.

"And he's still a jerk," Riku muttered. "Shut your mouth."

"He's the one coming up with _magical_ solutions," Axel barked back. "I doubt I was ever friends with someone like that."

"He's my brother, Sora," I said, "and that's Riku, his boyfriend."

Sora jumped over to me, and tried to squeeze the life out of me. "Brother! Did you hear that? He called me brother!" he screamed.

Oh. Guess I did.

I wiggled out of his grip, and he stepped back, beaming, obviously overjoyed.

"I think we should try it," Naminé piped up from where she stood next to Hayner in the very back of the room. I had almost forgotten that they were there.

"I don't think it'll do anything," Hayner sneered.

"But what if it does?"

"And if it doesn't?"

"It doesn't hurt to try!"

They stopped arguing when they realized that the entire room was listening.

"Might as well," Riku agreed.

They looked at me expectantly. "W-What?" I blurted.

"Kiss him." Demyx bumped my shoulder lightly. "It might jog his memory."

I stayed where I was, while Axel turned bright red and cried, "Hey, don't I get a say in this?"

"No," Demyx said immediately.

"And why not? That would be like...like kissing a random guy off the street! Right?"

He looked at me, and I nodded at his cue. "Yeah," I muttered.

"Please!" Sora begged.

"No," Axel said quickly.

"Please!"

"No."

To my horror, Sora proceeded to throw himself onto the bed, hiding his face in the blanket somewhere near Axel's legs. He began to howl.

Axel gave a start, and tried to get away, but I guess it was too painful, because he winced and stayed where he was.

I couldn't understand Sora's ramblings but after a second, Axel screeched, "Ok!"

Sora straightened, his face a mess. "Why don't you remember Roxas?" he sniffed, still crying.

Riku dragged him away until I was the only one near the bed. I glanced around, panicky, and of course Zexion shoved me forward.

I shuffled over to the left side of the mattress, being mindful of the machines. "You really don't mind?" I asked quietly.

He shrugged. "Had to get the kid off me."

I couldn't read his expression; he was either frustrated because of Sora, or cautious, or...well, I stayed where I was and he sort of squirmed. "Are you...?"

"Um...with all these people watching..." I muttered. "It's weird."

"Don't mind us!" Kelly said cheerfully. I swear it seemed like both her and Naminé were glued to floor, expectant. Sora was being a little less dramatic, holding onto Riku's sleeve, hopeful, seriously believing this would work. Hayner was messing with something in his pocket, trying to ignore what was going on, while Demyx and Zexion stood off to the side, simply waiting.

"Could you at least look away or something?" I fidgeted.

"Come on." Zexion ushered them to the hall, and I mouthed my gratitude.

"So," Axel said, once we were alone and it was quiet.

"So." I paused. "We don't have to do this. We can just pretend."

He gave me that lopsided grin of his. "I think I can manage. You're pretty cute after all."

I practically choked. "T-Thanks..."

"You know, this is pretty awesome, actually," he leaned back. "It's like waking up in a world where you have everything you wanted. You know, I'm done with school so I can be as lazy as I want, and I already have a boyfriend and everything."

He laughed, but then his face changed. "But still...I mean, what happened to Demyx?"

"I don't know."

"Ah, well. Weird day."

"Yeah."

After a moment, he gave me the once over. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"

"Wouldn't that be awkward though? You really don't have to force yourself."

Saying that brought more tears to my eyes, shesh, and I tried to hide it, but he noticed. "Hey, don't do that. Your brother has that covered."

I blinked them away. "Yeah," I said weakly.

"To be honest with you," he sighed, "I _want_ to remember, and that's why I agreed, you know? Because if Demyx doesn't..."

I nodded.

"Weird day," he repeated. Then he held up his pointer finger and gestured me towards him. I leaned down, butterflies doing somersaults in my stomach.

It was quick. He pressed his lips against mine then promptly jerked away.

"Sorry," he said sincerely. "It just felt wrong."

"No...new memories or anything?"

He shook his head.

When we alerted everyone in the hall that we were finished, Sora barreled in first. "Did it work? Did it work?" he wanted to know.

Axel and I shook our heads.

That night, I couldn't sleep, and my face was always damp.

It got worse. The summer days were filled with me staying at home, either watching movies with Sora, or trying to get sucked into a good book. It didn't work most of the time. Demyx tore himself away from Axel's persistence, and Axel gave up, if not without a little defiant behavior first. He hung out with me sometimes, at first rarely and then more and more. And, yes, it was like started over again, except this time he knew my feelings. We acted like acquaintances, which slowly grew to friends, until we were almost inseparable again. I still held a little flame of hope that one day he'd ask me out, or that everything would come rushing back...everything that mattered to me, he had forgot, and it _hurt_. It was like a constant knife digging into my gut, but I learned to live with it.

September came. No real changes.

I was visiting him regularly at the college, staying over practically every weekend and laughing at his amazement when he figured out that he knew stuff about math, science, etc, that he shouldn't. I had to sleep on the floor, granted, but I didn't care. As long as I was with him.

XxXxX

Axel had halted and I was pulled out of my daydreams.

"What?" I blurted, trying not to hold on too hard, trying to contain the heat that was spreading across my face.

"Nothing," he murmured leaning down towards me.

His face is so close to mine, I marveled, watching his eyes travel towards mine. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think.

A smile hovered on his face as his eyes met mine.

When he kissed me, a torrent of thoughts and feelings scrambled around frantically inside of me.

He likes me! This feels so nice...

I breathed in deeply, closing my eyes.

His feelings for me are back! And from now on it wasn't going to be awkward. Those blank stares where I'd have to explain something, the way he was always careful not to touch me, how _fond_ he seemed of Demyx...gone. He was mine.

Unless he's doing this to humor me...?

Maybe he was kissing me as a test, to see if he felt anything, to see what my reaction would be.

Should I not kiss him back? Well, it was too late for that, because I was pressing against him until there was no space between us. True, at first I was beyond surprised, standing there shock-still, but now I couldn't help but put more and more pressure on his lips, as if he was already trying to pull back. My arms wrapped around him—all of this, every little bit, from the heat of his body to the feel of his tongue gently slipping into my mouth, was familiar.

Before I knew it, he was stepping away from me. I didn't know what to say. The Axel I had known _had _been coming back gradually it seemed, sometimes I could catch it in the way he'd look at me, or in something he said, but I hadn't expected this.

"Roxas..." he practically whispered, his hand cupping my chin. "Mi novio poco cínico."

He was about to kiss me again, but he stopped when I exclaimed, "What did you just say?"

Our eyes locked and I understood.

"When?" I asked. "Axel," I added in a warning tone, wanting him to be honest.

"When did I remember?"

I nodded.

He sighed, looping his arms around my waist as the wind picked up.

"Sometime last week. I woke up and, I don't know, all this stuff was magically in my head. Like the time I got you to ditch," he grinned, "and how you got so frustrated when I wouldn't kiss you."

"Shut up," I muttered. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He tilted his head to the side, amused. "It was funny, watching you fall for my charm."

I shot him an evil look.

"You were holding back this entire time, huh?" He nuzzled my neck for a second. "I'm sorry, Roxie."

"Don't say that," I managed, getting all chocked up. The Axel I knew was back.

"But if I hadn't been driving—"

"No. It's not your fault," I said firmly.

"Then it's not your fault either."

I frowned. "But I insisted that you—"

He kissed me, and the words were lost. "We're going to make up for all those lost months, ok?"

"Ok," I said weakly.

He chuckled as my face burned.

Nothing else mattered. Right then, in that moment, it was only Axel and I.

"Te amo," he breathed.

And I knew enough to say it back.


	33. Preview

Hi guys! Long time no see.

I have been working on a "sequel" (I am tentatively using that word.) and will soon be uploading chapters for it. It should be online within a week.

In the meantime, here's a short preview. It's from Axel's POV, as the rest of it will be.

Until then. Thanks for reading!

~KeedaxEmry

I don't know how it began. The night just seemed to slip around me, comfortable and familiar. There was something about it that made me feel like I was the only person in the world—but not in a lonely sense. The silence, the stillness, the cool air were all my drugs. It gave me time to think, time to sort things out, while, simultaneously, I could let my mind go blank. The stars would blink their welcome, the trees would quiver in my presence. Hell, the real reason I liked these moonlit strolls was less about this and more about the fact that I could get away from things. Away from people who got on my nerves. Which was all of them. Well, I guess I can't say that anymore; lately, I haven't been doing this as much, even though everyone has become used to and actually accepts the fact that I am rarely home until past midnight. But right now, nothing I can do will calm the rage inside of me. My thoughts are going back to that moment, and I am biting my tongue to impede a string of obscenities. After all this time, and I _still_ can't forget it. The surprised look on his face, the weak explanations offered; they're burned into my memory and live to serve as a weakness, something to pull me back down. But now there's something worse. Because what could be worse? Roxas, the one person who matters, doesn't trust me, and, not only that, he's hurting. It's obvious. The way he hides it, whatever it is, digs another knife into my chest. Each time he abruptly changes the subject, and whenever I see panic cross his face, I want to break down.

"Roxas, please."

I would take his hand. He would realize my feelings.

"Axel…"

Leaning forward, I can see the way his eyes are searching me. Looking for what, I can never tell.

Before I can do anything else, the daydream vanishes without a trace, and I'm left with reality.

"I can't."


End file.
